FanFic - Crashdown After Hours
"Goodnight Elisabeth"
Part 5
by Anne
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell or any of the characters. I have no affiliation with the WB television network or the author Melinda Metz.
Category: After Hours
Rating: NC-17
Authors Note: Lyrics - Fleetwood Mac . . . Silver Springs
Before Dawn the next morning . . .

Michael sat with his back to a tree resting his forearms on his knees and his eyes on the lightening sky. They needed to move soon. He passed a weary hand over his face and felt older than he would have ever thought possible at this point in his life. He also felt alone. He glanced toward the spot where he knew Max and Liz were sleeping well concealed. Amazing how those two could just pickup where they left off as if nothing had happened. Next, his gaze fell on Maria where she slept next to Alex. He knew there was nothing going on between them, but he couldn't help the pang of jealousy that shot through his heart. He was the one she turned to and relied on and spent her time with. Alex had been there for her. Nothing could change that. Nothing could change the past. Why even bother? But, then again, what else could he do? She was his heart. He had to try . . .

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Max looked up at the sky and for the first time in days relaxed a little. One hand was behind his head as he contemplated the recent turn of events. Liz had finally settled down and fallen asleep last night. His strong features relaxed slightly as thoughts of last night drifted across his mind. His bride . . .

Liz stirred beside him and opened her sleepy eyes. Propping herself up on one elbow she stared into the eyes that had so captivated her from the first moment she had ever seen them. Liz pulled in her breath sharply as the image of Max as a child flashed across her mind and the recognition she had always felt but never understood made it's way to her consciousness.

Max was instantly alert and facing her with an anxious expression on his beautiful face. Liz let her breath out slowly and smiled.

Max: (relaxing slightly and pushing her hair behind her ear) "What happened?" "Was it Tess?"

Liz: (eyes darkening for an instant) "No. It wasn't. In fact, I slept all night and nothing happened."

Max: "Then what was it?"

Liz: "I'm not sure. I just felt like I remembered something I'd forgotten or maybe never really knew at all."

Max: "What do you mean?"

Liz: (laying her hand alongside his face) "I woke up and saw your eyes and remembered seeing them when you were a little boy and recognizing them. But, that doesn't make sense, does it?"

Max: "I think maybe it does make sense."

They shared a silent communication as the realization of Liz's vision confirmed what they both had already known to be true. They had known each other before. Somewhere else. Some other place. Some other time. Always.

Max kissed her forehead and Liz closed her eyes as she felt his heartbeat strong and steady just under her hand on his chest.

Liz: (pulling back a little and looking into his eyes) "Why didn't she try to connect with me, Max?"

Max: (relieved) "I don't know. Maybe they sustained too much damage yesterday for her to worry about where we are at the moment."

Liz: "So you think she will do it again?"

Max: (wishing he could say something different) "Most likely, yes. I'm sorry, Liz. As soon as we get back to camp, we'll talk to Michael and Isabel about it and I know we'll find a way to stop her."

Liz: "I hope you're right."

Max: "I can't explain it Liz, but I am absolutely certain there is a way to stop her."

Some of his confidence made it's way into Liz's heart and she smiled at him again and decided that for just this moment, she would be grateful for what they had . . . each other . . . and let everything else take care of itself.

Liz: "Have I told you today that I love you?"

Max: "No."

Liz: "Well, I do."

Max smiled and kissed her and Liz felt all the love they shared as it poured through an unexplained connection that meant they would always be together . . .

Max: (whispering against her parted lips) "We have to go soon."

Liz: "Then maybe you should hurry . . . "

Max wondered if he had lost his mind. Here they were, running for their lives, fleeing every authority on the planet, and all he could think about was making love to his wife. He needed it. It wasn't expendable. He absolutely had to be with her to survive. Inside her . . .

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Maria sat up and tried to focus her tired eyes, but they felt as if she'd poured them full of sand before going to sleep. It hurt to blink. As she continued to sit unmoving and holding her eyes closed, Alex became concerned.

Alex: (quietly) "Maria? What are you doing?"

Maria: "Trying to open my eyes . . . "

Alex: (confused) "Trying? Isn't that like trying to breathe? It just sort of happens."

Maria: "Not today."

Alex: "Why? What's wrong?"

Maria: "I don't know. Just tired I guess."

Alex: "Are you sure? Do you want me to get Max or Michael?"

Maria: (quickly . . . too quickly) "No! I mean, it's not necessary. I'll be o.k. in a minute . . . (mumbling) I think."

Alex: (hesitating) "Well, o.k. If you're sure."

Maria: (waving him away) "I'm sure. Let's just get this show on the road."

As Maria opened her eyes and stared up at Alex for the first time that morning, he gasped and knelt down in front of Maria grasping her upper arms painfully.

Alex: "Oh my God, Maria. What the hell happened to you?"

Maria: (really frightened by his reaction) "What are you talking about?"

Alex: "Stay right here. I'll be right back."

Alex jumped up and ran to get whoever presented themselves first.

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Maria watched through an extremely painful gaze as Michael approached her at a dead run. Apparently, Alex had decided she needed to be tortured a little more this morning . . .

Michael: (kneeling down in front of her) "What's wrong? Alex said that something was wrong with you. What is it?"

Maria: (grudgingly touched by the obvious concern in his voice) "I don't know. My eyes hurt."

Michael: "Let me see."

Maria pried her eyes open slowly and finally presented Michael with the same picture Alex had received.

Michael (drawing in his breath): "Jesus."

Maria: "What is it? Why do they hurt so bad?"

Michael: (touching her face lightly and turning it from side to side) "They look burned."

Maria: (forcing herself to tamp down on the flutter that rose from her stomach just because his hand was on her face) "They do?"

Michael: (shaking his head and wondering how she could stand it) "Yeah, they do. Does it hurt a lot?"

Maria: (a little breathless now) "Yeah."

Michael: "I'm sorry. It must've happened yesterday during the fight. I must've hit you, too."

Maria would've cried if tears were able to come to her eyes. Instead, her body shook with the force of emotions that couldn't be held back any longer. His voice was filled with so much guilt and pain that she simply couldn't bear it.

Michael: "Maria! What is it? Does it hurt that bad?"

Maria: (gasping and trying to regain control) "No. It isn't that . . . "

Michael: (feeling helpless and hating it) "Then what is it?"

Maria: "I just couldn't stand hearing you blaming yourself. It reminded me of the day you left . . . ."

Michael sat back and tried to add up exactly what it all meant.

Michael: "I'm sure Max can heal your eyes, Maria. I'm sorry you were hit. I still don't have total control . . . I'm sorry."

Maria: (feeling angry now) "You're sorry? You're an idiot. You saved my life!!! What have you got to be sorry for? My eyes will get better with or without Max's help. At least I'm alive. All of us are alive because you saved us. Lay that guilt crap on somebody else."

Michael: (shaking his head in total confusion) "What are you so mad about?"

Maria: (in a moment of weakness) "I'm angry because unlike my eyes, my heart will never get better and it hurts everyday and I'm so sick of it and now you're here and it hurts even more . . . "

Before Michael could respond, Max and Liz came running with Alex to Maria's side.

Liz: "Maria! Are you okay?"

Maria: (turning her head toward the sound but having a hard time making out Liz's face) "Not really."

Liz: "Oh, Maria! What happened?"

Michael: (quietly) "I think her eyes are burned."

Liz: "Burned? . . . What . . . "

Max knelt down beside Maria and looked at her eyes. They were a terrible sight. No wonder Alex had been in such a panic. Liz grabbed Max's arm and he could feel her rising anxiety as he looked down at her small hand reaching out to him for strength.

Max: (to Maria) "Close your eyes."

Maria did so painfully, and Max placed his hands on either side of her face right at the corners of her eyes. He closed his eyes and concentrated, focusing on the breath that was leaving his body. Maria trembled as her eyes were healed and the pain receded. Max gasped for breath as the healing process drained him momentarily. Her eyes had been badly burned, but they were perfectly clear and healthy once more.

Alex was so relieved that he automatically turned to Michael to clap him on the back and offer congratulations, as if Maria still belonged to him in some way. Alex stopped short at the look on Michael's face as he realized what Michael was thinking.

Alex: (to Michael) "Don't give up on her yet. She still loves you."

Michael stared at Alex and tried not to feel the leap of hope in his chest that those simple words inspired. He nodded his head in silent thanks for Alex's concern, but doubted if Maria were going to be that easy to win over.

Maria couldn't help the tears that fell now that she could cry . . .

Liz put her arms around Maria and closed her eyes as the relief washed over her and the adrenaline rush died down. Maria pulled away and smiled at Liz and then at Max.

Maria: (eyes still full of tears) "Thank you."

Max smiled but before he could reply, Liz threw her arms around him, and without verbal speech, flooded his mind with her thoughts. They weren't tangible words, but impressions of her feelings that made their way into his mind. Gratitude, respect, admiration, awe, but mostly love . . . overwhelming love. Max held her tightly to him until they both felt like they could let go. As the moment slipped away, reality intruded as it always does . . . rudely.

Max looked at the ever lightening sky with mixed emotions. Today should be the last day of their journey if all went well. But, they had to leave now.

Max: "We have to go."

Alex and Maria and Max and Liz prepared to leave, while Michael watched them and felt even more alone than he had earlier that morning. He had hurt Maria. Unintentionally, but still in all he had hurt her . . . and he wasn't talking about her eyes . . .

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That evening, five road-worn and weary travellers, pulled themselves up one more of countless rises, and stopped to stare at what lie ahead. Michael trailed the group and not one word had passed between he and Maria since that morning. She had walked directly in front of him all day long and never once looked back.

Max signalled for them all to stop and rest a while before this last leg of their journey. They all sat down together and ate what was offered quickly and without comment. Max was grateful to find that Michael had brought extra food with him and each one of them had packed food in their backpacks before they left. With about half and hour left to rest, Liz stood up and wandered away from the group. She stood with her back to them and her face turned toward a diminishing sun. As Max walked up to her, he could see that her eyes were closed.

Max: "Liz? . . ."

Liz: (opening her eyes and turning to look at him but saying nothing)

Max: "What is it?"

Liz: (smiling but a little too bright) "Nothing. Just resting."

Max's expression changed to reflect the hurt that he felt knowing she wasn't being honest with him. Liz felt her heart ache at that look on his face and quickly decided it would be better to tell him what was on her mind than to have him feel that she was pushing him away.

Liz: "I'm sorry. I didn't want to add to all the things you are already trying to deal with."

Max: (understanding lightening his features) "Let me help."

Liz: "I'm just worried about my parents, . . . all of our parents, I guess."

Max felt the sinking hopelessness at the realization that this was something he couldn't change. He wanted so badly to make everything better for her, but he couldn't.

Max: "I'm sorry. . . . I can't imagine how they must feel, but I know it's horrible. Maybe someday we'll be able to go back and tell them that we're o.k."

Liz: "I can't imagine what they must be thinking right now."

Max: "I know. I'm so sorry, Liz." . . . "For everything."

Liz: "I love you so much, Max." "I can't help worrying about my parents, but it doesn't change the way I feel about the choices that we've made."

Max: "I love you, too. If it's ever possible, we'll tell them that you're o.k. I promise."

Liz moved closer to Max and he pulled her tightly to him. With his hand on the back of her head, he closed his eyes and willed himself to believe that one day they would be able to see their parents again and stop all the suffering. The only thing that made the situation bearable was knowing that Liz and Maria and Alex had been saved from certain death by leaving. Tess had a great deal to answer for, but right now, just this minute, the only thing that mattered to either one of them was being close to the other. Max twined his fingers in Liz's hair and watched her face as she tilted her head back a little to look at him. She was so beautiful, but more than that, she belonged to him. She always had. The thought did amazing things to him every time it came across his awareness. Liz smiled and he realized that she was well aware of his thoughts and his body's reaction to them. She was becoming more a part of him every moment that they spent together. Almost as if their hearts were being knit together by invisible chords that made them one person. How would he ever survive without her? Liz waited patiently for the kiss that she knew was a heartbeat away. As Max's mouth found hers, she sighed and felt the bonds grow stronger that bound them together into who they were now.

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Michael and Alex and Maria had sat quietly together at first, but eventually, Alex had gotten up and walked away. His reason for doing so was twofold. He definitely wanted DeLuca to ease up on Michael before the poor guy gave up, but he also knew that in just a few hour's time, he'd be seeing Isabel again for the first time since she'd left. For the life of him, he just couldn't quite imagine it. What was he supposed to say? Gee, nice camp you got here, or wow, nice weather we're having tonight. What? What was he supposed to say? The thoughts bounced around in his frustrated brain, as the image of her face continued to flit across his mind's eye as if to torture him a little more. Well, one thing was for sure. Face her he would, and then they'd just have to see . . .

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And, did you say she was pretty?
And, did you say that she loved you?
Baby, I don't wanna know . . .
And, can you tell me it was worth it?
Baby, I don't want to know . . .

Michael and Maria sat in an uncomfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Michael finally spoke.

Michael: (looking up from the ground at Maria) "Do you love me?"

Maria's head shot up in surprise, but before she could blurt out what was in her heart, she reigned in her emotions and forced herself to speak carefully.

Maria: "No. Of course, not. I loved you once, but not now."

Michael felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the atmosphere. She couldn't have said anything more hurtful if she'd tried. Maria watched his face and felt guilty to the point of pain. That pain drove her to even more unkindness.

Maria: "How's Isabel?"

Michael didn't answer right away as he struggled to breathe around the lump in his chest that used to be his heart.

Michael: "Isabel is as good as she can be I guess."

Maria didn't miss the strain in his voice and wondered what was going on, but not so much so that she was willing to back down. The remembered experience of the way he had walked away from her prevented her from being able to reach out to him. The pain had been enormous and she still felt shattered inside when she wasn't busy forcing the pieces into place and making them stick.

So, I begin not to love you
Turn around, see me running
I say I loved you years ago,
But, tell myself, you never loved me . . . no . .

Maria: (forcing the lie that all but choked her on it's way out of her mouth) "Well that's good. I hope things work out for you two."

Michael: (anguished) "Maria, you don't understand . . . "

Maria: "You know what? I understand all I want to, thanks. I think I'll just go check on Alex."

Maria got up to leave, but Michael stopped her by grabbing her hand before she could run away. Maria felt frozen to the spot. The same feeling of awareness flooded her mind as his hand held hers and she fought against the rising tide of emotion that threatened to destroy her resolve.

Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me . . .
I know I could've loved you,
But you would not let me.

I'll follow you down 'til the sound
of my voice will haunt you . . .
You'll never get away from the sound
of the woman that loved you . . .

Michael: "I don't love Isabel, Maria. Not like I love you."

Maria felt the wall around her heart crack and slide into rubble. As it did, the pain of the past six months brought her to her knees on the ground beside him. The devastated look on her face horrified Michael. As he looked on, he saw Maria's true feelings begin to reveal themselves in tears that slid silently down her face. All the more heartbreaking for the absolute lack of sound to go with them. She was so still . . .

You could be my Silver Spring
Blue - Green, Colors flashing . . .
I would be your only dream . . .
Your shining over, ocean crashing . . .

Finally, Michael decided that the worst she could do was pull away from him, so he gently gathered her into his arms and held her as the tears continued to fall unheeded and inaudible. He kissed her cheek and felt the whisper-softness of her skin and the moisture where her tears had not yet dried. The salty taste helped to remind him of what was happening to her. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked into his.

Maria: "I can't live through that again, Michael."

Michael: (not even pretending to misunderstand) "You won't have to."

Maria: "Are you sure, because I can't . . . I just can't . . ."

Michael: (surprised himself at how certain he was) "I'm sure, Maria. I love you, only you."

Maria: "I love you, too."

Michael pulled her face closer with both hands and kissed her gently, almost crying out from the contact that was all the more sweet because he never thought he'd experience it again. Maria slid her hands up his arms and across his shoulders to meet in back of his head. For the first time in six months, she felt like the person she had been before . . . before she had died.

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TBC

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