FanFic - Alex/Isabel
"I'm Ready, I Really Am"
Part 1
by Cheri
Disclaimer: I am in no affiliated with The WB or Roswell.
Summary: Isabel goes to see Alex after they have a fight.
Category: Alex/Isabel
Rating: PG
Authors Note: My version to how Alex and Isabel should get back together. I hope you like it.
I sit here in my garage trying to finish the new song for next week’s gig. The other members of The Whits have been gone for hours. But, try as I might, I can only think of you and the fight we had earlier. I didn’t mean to get so angry or spiteful, but I was so hurt. You had told me not once, but on two separate occasions that you weren’t ready for a relationship- with any guy. Then, I see you with that geologist, Grant what’s-his-name. Once again, I felt used.

Sure, I was good enough to hang out with when no one else was around. Sure, I was good enough when Max and Liz were missing and you kissed me to see if we could find them. I was even good enough when you were ready to have a relationship last spring. But that was only because of those dreams you were having of Michael. I was even good enough to give you space and let you walk away from me and towards your destiny.

Maybe it’s my fault we’re not together. I pushed you too hard or not enough. Or I was around too much. But that’s only because I cared about you. I probably always will.

I am so sorry for some of the things I said. But, I was just so pissed off. I know why you have a thing for Grant. I mean look at him. He’s older and he’s buff. Why wouldn’t you like him?

“Alex?”

I turn around to find you standing at the garage opening. You look so beautiful, but so unhappy. Then I realize that I caused it.

“Isabel. Wh-what are you doing here?” I stammer.

“I needed to talk to you.” You tell me.

“About what?” I say trying to be casual.

“We need to talk about earlier.”

“Isabel, I’m sorry about earlier.” I tell you.

“No, Alex. You were right. I was being a selfish controlling princess.” You say looking down. I had never seen you avoid someone’s eyes before.

“I know I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship. That it was too dangerous. Then Grant showed up…” Just the sound of his name made me cringe. “The next thing I knew he was buying me roses and I couldn’t not think about him. Alex it was like something was controlling me.”

“What? I don’t understand. Explain.”

“It was like I had no will power when it came to him.”

“Isabel, I really do not need to hear this.”

You grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me down into the chair. You started to pace back and forth in front of me, wringing your hands nervously.

“You are going to hear this Alex!” You said to me rather loudly. “I’ve been walking around in a daze for weeks. My heart was telling me to reach out for you, but my head was telling me to go for Grant. I was being pulled in three separate directions.”

“Three?” I ask realizing you meant Michael, also.

“Yeah, toward Grant, you and Michael. I know that I love Michael only as a brother, but the pull towards him is always there. I’m pulled towards Grant for some reason I don’t know.”

“It’s called hormones, Isabel.”

“No, Alex. It’s not. Grant isn’t my type. We really have nothing in common. I mean I acted as if his Geological stuff was romantic. That he was just the most perfect person. I mean if he was so perfect, why did I have my “perfect Isabel” act going at full swing. I was drooling after him, Alex. Like Max drooled after Liz. You’ve known me for a long time, when have you ever seen me drool?”

“Never.” I said believing what she was saying.

“It wasn’t me, Alex. I just didn’t realize it until we fought this morning. Somehow you broke me out of my stupor and showed to me what I was becoming. I am so sorry for hurting you.”

I stood up and you wrapped your arms around me. It had never felt so good, as it did at that moment. We stood there for what seemed like ages.

“What are you going to do?” I whisper into your ear.

“There is only one thing to do, Alex, I have to stay away from him. Or better yet, make him stay away from me. He’s so intoxicating. He’s like a drug.”

“Oh.”

“But, the strange thing is, when I was with him, I always wished I was with you. Doing anything with you. Even now I’d rather be here. I want to be with someone I can trust and someone I can trust myself with.” You whisper.

“I’ll be here for you as long as you need me. You don’t have to go anywhere. You can trust me.” I say as I pull out of the embrace.

“I know I can. That is why I’m here. Thank you, Alex for always being there. You truly are my best friend.”

“What about Max and Michael?”

“They’re my family. They have to be there. But you, you chose to be my friend. You were the first person who knew the real me, the me even Max and Michael don’t know. You saw in me, the real Isabel, not just the alien or the one I put on for show.”

“That’s only because you let me, Isabel.”

“No, that’s not it. When I walked into your dream that night, you didn’t know. But, still you knew the real me. The me I was too afraid to show to anyone. You looked beyond all that “Princess Isabel” crap. Do you know I hold that dream as one of my fondest memories? That it is one of the most important moments of my life?”

“Really? Why?” I ask.

“Yeah, really. It totally changed my view of you. I mean, I always knew you were a nice guy, Alex. But after seeing the way you would treat me and saw the way you looked at me I realized just how really wonderful you were. I knew I could trust you. Not only with the secret and my life, but also with my heart. I knew that if you could, you would never hurt me.”

“But, today I did.”

No, you really didn’t. It hurt at the beginning, but then I realized that you were saying those things out of concern and caring. I mean today, you hurt me, but in the long run, I’ve hurt you more. And you’re still here. You haven’t given up and walked away. Sometimes I wonder why.”

“I’ll always be here for you, haven’t you realized that, yet? Isabel, my heart stopped the first time I saw you. From that moment on, all I thought of was you. But, you became my life, not just a part, but the center, when you opened up and let me see the real you.”

I watched as you started crying. I reach over and wiped the teardrops that had fallen onto your face.

“Alex, I want to tell you why I pushed you away.”

“You don’t have to. I think I know.”

“Yes, I do have to tell you.” You say holding my hands. “I pushed you away so it wouldn’t hurt so bad in the end.” You say as you sit down. “ When we were told we had this amazing destiny we had to face, I got so scared. I didn’t buy into all of the soul mate stuff that was being jammed down our throats. All I could think of was you. One day, I would have to leave. Leave home. Leave Roswell. Leave Earth. But, especially, leave you. That’s when my heart broke. I knew that I would hurt you. That’s when I decided to end things. That if we were apart when the time came, it wouldn’t hurt so bad. But, I was wrong.”

“Yeah, you were.”

“You don’t have to be so quick to agree, Alex.” You say with a small laugh. “All summer I watched how hurt Max was without Liz. I saw the one person who needs love in his life, let go of the one person he truly loves. Michael is staying away from Maria now because he doesn’t want her to have to wait for him. This whole situation sucks.”

“I know what you mean.”

“No, you really don’t have a clue. There is so much more to this sick twisted tale. More than even Max or Michael know. The night that Whitaker took Tess, well when we had our confrontation, she told me some facts about my previous life. She told me that I was very beautiful and my name was Vilandra.”

“Keep going.”

“She also said that the reason my people are suffering is my fault. It seems that I fell in love with someone from her species and with that love, I betrayed my people.”

“Maybe she was lying.”

“What reason would she have, Alex? Oh, my god, what if that’s what been happening?”

“If it was, it’s not anymore. We won’t let it.”

I held you in my arms for what seemed like eternity when you pulled away.

“Alex, I was wondering…”

“That doesn’t sound good.” I tease.

“Funny. Are you doing anything tonight?”

“Not really. The parentals are away, so I was just going to hang. Why?”

“Do you want to hang out together? Pizza and movies?” You ask hesitantly.

“Sounds good. We haven’t had a movie night in a while.”

“Then, it’s a night.” You say smiling. “I’ll be back in an hour or so. I need to grab some things.”

I look at you then I suddenly say, “Why don’t you grab your sleeping bag and stay over. I mean, it would be easier and safer for you to stay here, rather than drive home sleepy and late.”

“I was already planning on it.” You say mischievously.

After you left, I finally finished the song. Like always, you’re my inspiration.

Two hours later you knock on my door, arms loaded with supplies. You brought everything we could possibly need.

“So, what movies did you get?” I ask peeking into the bag.

“Oh, the usual. You know some chick flicks, some drama, a little action. I’m going to go change into my pj’s. You order the pizza. Okay?”

“Sure thing. Why don’t you change in my room? You can put the rest of your stuff in there, also.”

Ten minutes later you walk down the stairs wearing your red silk pajamas, looking totally breathtaking. I’ve always loved the way you look in red. Apparently, you remembered also. You sit on the couch and turn to me.

“Alex, what do you want to do while we wait for the pizza?”

“I don’t know. You’re the guest, you decide.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. Can you play this for me?” You ask pulling a CD from your pocket. “Track number 11.”

I look at the familiar CD knowing the song you’re requesting. Soon the opening notes of the song are floating through the air. Our song.

“You remembered this song?” I ask.

“It was what the band played in your dream. I found the CD in your room one day we were studying. The next day I went out and bought it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s our song. Can I ask a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Can we finish the dance?”

“It would be my pleasure.” I say remembering what I said to you. I reach for your hand. “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight, Isabel? On the outside, but especially inside.”

“Thank you, Alex. For everything.” You say to me pulling me towards you. “Can we finish the dream now?”

You lean in and kiss me so softly. Soon tenderness turns to passion and I pull away.

“Alex, what is it?”

“Isabel, I can’t do this. I don’t think I could deal if you changed your mind again.”

“I’m not going to change my mind.”

“How can you be so sure, Isabel?”

“Because I love you, Alex.”

“What did you say?”

“I love you, Alex.”

“I love you, too.” I say to you.

“Alex, I don’t know what the future holds. I may have to leave tomorrow. I might never leave. The only thing I do know, is that whatever time I have remaining, I want to spend with you. I would rather have a moments happiness with you, rather that a lifetime of regret without you.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I mean a guy has to be special to dress up like a cop and do a striptease in front of the girl’s mother.” You say to me with a smile.

“Very funny, Is. I knew you liked it.”

“Yeah, but not as much as my mom did.”

I woke up the next morning thinking it was all a dream. Then, I saw your still sleeping form next to me. It really wasn’t a dream. I don’t know what obstacles life is going to put in our way next. All I know is that we are together and we’re going to stay that way.

Index
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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