"Ouch..." she mumbled sounding annoyed. Then she started awake and her eyes flew open. She sat up and took in her surroundings, her eyes dim with confusion. The candles she had once placed around the balcony were burnt out, having melted and dripped unevenly down the brick walls; her decorative lights were still on 'though they barely showed in the sunlight. The bedroom window was open and a light was on inside. A box of tissue stood on a small table next to the lawn chair. Without warning, the events of the past night came crashing down upon her. Liz gasped, unable to breathe, as all her distress and sorrow seized her once again. This experience, forced her to relive each moment of agony from the night before.

"Liz? Liz? Honey are you up yet?" Liz's mom walked into her room. "Liz, sweetie, what are you doing out there?"

Liz scrambled up, wincing at the bruises she had acquired from sleeping outdoors.

"I feel asleep wh-when I was writing in my-my journal," she stuttered as she climbed through the window. Putting her feet on the floor, Liz straightened up and faced her mother. Her whole body hurt. Every noise was too loud. Every light was too bright. But worst of all, was the constant ache in her chest. She felt as if her heart had been ripped out and all that was left was a huge gaping hole.

"Oh Liz, you don't look so good sweetheart."

Several emotions crossed Liz's face, she felt fresh tears ready to fall as she turned towards her dresser.

"Thanks, mom."

"Oh I didn't mean....are you ok honey?"

Her mom took a step forward and looked concerned.

"I just need to get ready t-to go," Liz whispered. **I wish she would just go away. Please leave me alone.**

"Well, all right. Is Maria still driving you this morning?"

"Um, no. I think I'll get to school by myself."

"Oh....I'd take you, but I've got this meeting and.....you do know you can talk to me, any time. Don't you? You can talk to me about anything, that's what I'm here for. "

"Yeah mom," Liz said in a strained voice. "I'm just tired, and really stressed you know? I gotta go mom, I'm already late."

"Right. Sorry," Nancy said as she closed the bedroom door and Liz breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she felt like doing was going to school. Resignedly, she stripped off the clothes she wore yesterday and made her way into the bathroom. The only thing she wanted to do, was take a hot, stinging shower to wash away her sense of betrayal. Her body felt tainted, especially where Kyle had touched her. She let the water rain down upon her and scrubbed her body fervently. After washing her lavish hair, twice, the aroma of her body bath and shampoo filled the bathroom providing a comforting sent. Liz gingerly stepped out of the shower wrapping a big, fuzzy white towel around herself. Looking at the mirror, she could see the swirling mist of steam clouding the small room. Stepping forward, she examined her face closer.

**I look like shit! Well, I wonder why Liz, you spent the whole night camping on your balcony.**

Her face was taunt and pale, eyes black with emotion, and ringed with darkness. Although, her sleeping arrangements weren't the only cause for change in Liz Parker's appearance. Those who knew her well, would detect something missing. A certain something that made her Liz. In its place, was a blatant sense of distress. Her tired face and expressive eyes betrayed her painful agony and unfathomable sadness.

**How am I going to do this? How can I go to school?**

Liz remembered every word she said to Max, every look she gave him just twelve hours ago. She still couldn't believe those words had come from her mouth.

**I hurt him so deeply. I took advantage of him. I used his differences, his weakness against him. I lied. I said I didn't love him and didn't want to have his children. I said.....I said I would never be safe with him. But, the only time I'm EVER safe, is when I'm in his arms.**

"Oh, God. His face..."

Liz choked back a sob as she recalled Max's look of hurt and astonishment each time she rejected him. His eyes had glistened with tears, pain etched on his beautiful face. Liz retreated from the bathroom, running from the image which was gazing back at her. Gradually, she began sifting through her clothes trying to find something to wear. **Come on Liz, you can do this. Yep, I can do this. Wait...What exactly am I trying to do? Ohh, I'm falling aparrrrrrrrrrrt. I've never felt this way before, like I'm no longer me, like I don't care about anything. It's as if I'm dying. Max is no longer a part of me and I can't survive. It's almost as if without Max, I'm going to cease living. Going to die.**

This reality hit Liz in the pit of her stomach and resounded throughout her body. And all at once, she knew it was true. She tried to bury the thought in the back of her mind. But she could still feel it hovering nearby, like a death sentence.

**I'm going to die. Oh, God.**

Liz swayed as the room spun around her.

**No. No. No. I did it for Max. He wanted me to. I did it for Isabel and Michael. God, I even did it for HER. Nope, not for HER. Just for them. I will never do anything for HER.**

"Come on babe, let's do a Maria. Let's do a Teflon Babe thing. Denial always works..."

Liz tried to give herself a pep talk while she picked out her clothes. Maria would have been proud. She decided on a tight, sky blue shirt with sleeves at half-length, slipping it over her head. On went a pair of pants, some nifty boots Maria had picked out, and one of her favorite necklaces. It rested on her perfectly. Its blue-silver beads sparkled like jewels. They reminded her of the stars, and made her feel closer to Max. Next she piled her hair, now dry, on top of her head and looked at her reflection.

**Today is DEFINITELY a makeup day. Isabel would be horrified.**

Liz couldn't help grinning. However, that grin was soon wiped off her face as she looked at the clock.

**Shit, shit, shit. I'm already a hour late for school. This is just fantastic.**

Applying makeup quickly, she searched for her book bag. Finding it under her comfy chair, where she had thrown it yesterday afternoon, she scanned the room for any forgotten items. Her big brown eyes landed on her bed. The sheets were still rumpled and creased where two people had previously laid. Liz instantly felt nauseous. The memory of Kyle and her together, in bed, was simply too much. The thought was revolting, painful. She could only imagine how Max had felt, when he stared at them through the window. Liz fell onto the bed and buried her head in the pillows. Even the sheets smelled like Kyle. His personal after shave. Another wave of nausea swept over Liz.

**These sheets have GOT to go...** she concluded desperately. Drowning herself in her sorrows seemed like a good idea at the moment. But the studious portion of Liz, made her get up and trudge down the stairs. Outside, she shook herself trying to regain some composure. The air was fairly warm, but the clouds were turning darker and swirling about the sky. Liz's emotions ran from pure misery to harsh, grim anger. She wasn't sure what the anger was for, exactly. Her life had spun out of control, people were visiting her from the future, and she didn't know if she would ever be truly happy again.

**Not that your life was really normal anyway, Liz. You were friends with aliens, evil aliens were attacking, not to mention the love-of-your-life was one such alien.**

Liz let her memories surround her as she walked to school -the longer it took to get there, the better-. Her pleasure and contentment would now hove to come from memories, from the past.

Liz's feet took her down the street and across town to West Roswell High. As she entered the parking lot, her head shot up and her expression darkened.

**God, I'm here already...**

She sighed, the trip had gone by in a matter of seconds. She managed to walk into school and down the hallway to her locker without anyone seeing her.

**It's so quiet,** she thought as she eased open her locker. Just then, the bell rang signaling the end of second period. It sliced the air with an earsplitting whistle. This was followed by the sound of doors crashing open and students poring into the halls. Lockers slammed, books fell, and people shouted.

**Oh fuck, here comes the welcoming crowd,** Liz cringed. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone came to interrogate her. In the process of deciding which books she really needed to take to class today, she heard distinct footsteps charging down the hall. Liz had a feeling those footsteps belonged to a certain crazy someone she would normally call her best friend.

"Liz!? Oh My God! What happened?! Spill the beans, girl. You never miss school, ever. Alex said you probably slept in, but I know for a fact that Liz Parker NEVER sleeps in. Is something wrong? Are you ok? Oh my God, something happened with Max. Did more aliens come? Do we have to go help them? Wait, I already saw them today, in class! I don't understand, what's wrong? TALK TO ME! LIZ!?"

"Maria, you're babbling..." Liz said in a dead voice.

"I am NOT babbling. I'm just extremely worried about you. You don't look so good either. Are you sick?"

Maria was pacing in front of Liz's locker, throwing her hands in the air. Liz closed her locker and leaned her head against it trying to calm herself. She didn't want to blow up at Maria, but she couldn't handle this right now.

"Maria, I'm not sick. Not yet," she added, remembering her Kyle induced nausea. "I-I didn't sleep well last night, ok. I've just had the worst day of my life, so please, ease off a bit."

Maria stopped pacing and turned to look Liz in the face, "We need to talk. Now, chica. The worst day of your life?! What happened? How could I not know about this?"

Maria's anger was dissolving and concern for her best friend took over. Her arms came around Liz as she tried to gauge Liz's feelings. Immediately, Liz stiffened, resisting the embrace. Then slowly she began to relax and held onto her friend for dear life. Liz started trembling and tears pooled in her eyes.

"It was s-so awfullllllll, Maria! His f-face....I-I just can't....it hurts so much....he's gone, he left me......dancing.......th-then gone......." moaned Liz as she managed to speak between her quiet sobs. Maria's face was frozen, she was in complete shock. She had never seen her friend like this. Liz was always in control, always knew what to do. This distraught person in her arms was a complete stranger.

"Oh, babe. I'm so sorry...Tell me what happened, let me help. It's gonna be ok."

Maria murmured in a soothing voice. In the back of her mind, something was trying to get Liz's attention. She knew it was something important, but her energy was still drained by the events of the previous 24 hours.

"Oh, no...." whispered Liz. Whatever she it was she had forgotten pushed itself into sight, refusing to be ignored.

**"No one can know that I'm here.....only you Liz.....you're the one I trust."**

Max's deep voice resonated inside her head.

**I can't even tell Maria what happened. No one's suppose to know the truth. Oh my God, people will really think I slept with Kyle. No shit Liz, that was part of the deal. Whatever it takes...**

For some reason, Liz'd believed only Max would think she and Kyle had slept together. Somewhere along the line, she'd forgotten that someone was bound to find out...she'd been a fool to think she could kept it a secret . In a town as small as Roswell, EVERYTHING was public knowledge. Maybe somebody already knew.....Maybe somebody knew what a slut she was. Knew how she betrayed Max. Liz's mind was running wild.

Other students on their way to class, who glanced at Maria and Liz, saw nothing out of the ordinary. Just two girls having a "girl talk." That is, until Liz hauled herself out of her friends embrace.

"M-Maria, I can't talk ab-bout it. I fine, please l-leave me a-alone..." Liz pleaded with her. Before Maria could start to argue, Liz was off, practically running down the hall and out of sight. Half the eyes of West Roswell's student body were locked on her retreating form. It was amazingly out of character for Liz Parker to be so emotional.

"Something is definitely wrong. Very wrong. I knew I was right!! Liz isn't anywhere NEAR ok."

Maria still stood by Liz's locker, trying calm herself down.

"Now is NOT the time to panic, DeLuca. I'm sure there's a perfectly good NON-alien reason why she's upset. Alex and I have ALWAYS taken care of her, we can do it again. No sweat."

"Lose your oils, Maria? You're already talking to yourself. That's a bad sign."

"Shut it spaceboy."

"Should I bother asking what's wrong? You know what, forget it. Today already sucks."

Maria glared at Michael, today wasn't going to be one of their "good days," she could tell. The temperamental duo were going to be at each other's throats non-stop.

"Michael!" Maria growled. "Get your big, fat, ugly, nose OUT of other people's business!!"

"Your nose isn't so good-lookin' either, babe," Michael sneered.

"What?!?! Who do you think you are? Get away from me!! It's waaaaaaay too early for me to deal with you Guerin. Catch me in a couple a hours..."

Maria's face was stamped with anger as she turned on her heal and headed in the other direction. Michael grinned and admired his view from behind.

"Don't miss me too much DeLuca!!"

Without turning around, Maria held her hand in the air and gave him the finger.