FanFic - Michael/Maria
"Obsession"
Part 2
by Zagnom
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no infringement is intended.
Summary: Maria has an obsession ... read on!
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: This is the first part of many to come ... or maybe not so many, but more are on the way.
He never felt scared. In fact, Michael tended towards anger. Anger for his drunk foster father, for not having a real family, for having crashed on a planet where he didn’t belong, for not feeling loved ... and sometimes even for letting himself love Maria De Luca. Sure, he had Max and Isabel, but he never really opened up to them all the way. The only other beings he knew of that were like him and he didn’t even tell them he could cook until they caught him making omelets for their family when he decided to file for emancipation as a minor. He just wanted someone who would care about him for who he was and didn’t have to ask him millions of questions about why he was feeling bad. He never truly felt genuinely loved by another person ... except Maria. He never had fantasies or dreams about his future either. In truth, he really didn’t think he had that kind of future in store for him. The kind with maybe a wife and kids ... he didn’t think that anyone could ever love him that way. The scary fact was he had actually gotten a couple of those future fantasy dreams lately. The kind with the shadowy dream person- in his case dream woman- who he would want to spend the rest of life with. Suddenly, he mind told him that he had a future, but Michael didn’t have the foggiest idea why. He had to live with the fact that someday he might have to take off forever- and that day might be tomorrow ... or even today.

Michael Guerin had every right to feel scared out of his mind, but he had become numb to the sensation. Still, his shadowy dream woman was taking shape and that was just enough to remind him of what scared feels like. It happened one night when he was staying over at Max’s ... before his emancipation even. In fact his nightmare happened right after he kissed Maria De Luca for the first time. Before that day, the only future he ever thought about was what would happen to him today- not tomorrow and never years from today. He forbid himself the luxury and since he made it his mission to find his real home, this forbiddeness was just fact. Why did Maria seem to screw that up?

Michael tried to stay away at first, but that tact hurt him just as much as it had hurt Maria. Slowly, it seemed like they were becoming close again- well she was opening herself to him. He was afraid to open up to her- afraid that doing so would only add to her hurt in the long run ... afraid that if he did, he’d never find his real home.

One night in his bed at his new apartment, he decided that he was going to relieve himself of this obsession. He had tried thinking about mud and other disgusting things, but Maria only looked at him like he was going insane. Subsequently, that plan was flushed down the toilet. He tried to resist her, but he just couldn’t. He would ever, he knew that ... but he couldn’t let her invade his mind on a 24/7 basis. His life was way too complicated for such a saturation ... obsession ... even though he usually enjoyed it. He had to keep his mind on other things, what with Tess entering their group and the FBI not far behind. She was almost a ... well ... a distraction. That was what he hated most. She was a complication, that he didn’t really want. Well, he wanted it, but not in this way. Especially after that strange fantasy that he had about him and Isabel. It wasn’t just that he had to decide if he really loved Maria all the way anymore. Now, he had decide were he stood with Isabel Evans.

Michael tried that night to get Maria off his mind. Every time he ran though that one fantasy- the only one he ever had- she remained constant. He got up to get a snack and suddenly everything he did became linked with Maria ... not Isabel ... Maria. He started to eat his snack and thought about how Maria would squirm at the sight of him adding the tobasco sauce to his chocolate cake. He was truly scared now ... every thought, every action- his entire being- was linked to Maria De Luca. He feared that Maria was permanently tattooed on his brain and he didn’t want that just yet.

His first thought was to talk to Max, his best friend and only other alien guy out there for him to really talk to. The talking however, didn’t seem like a viable option. He told Max a lot of stuff and he knew that Max cared ... he just didn’t want Max analyzing his mind the way he always did when Michael had a problem. Suddenly, for Michael, this was his own inner conflict- something he would have to deal with on his own. The only person he could really tell was Maria and he wasn’t ready for that- not yet.

Of course, he cared about Maria. He didn’t want to hurt her and he knew that he shouldn’t get attached. Yet ... his gut told him that he already was attached. So, Michael did the unlikely to get Maria off his mind. He thought about her soft lips, her short blonde hair that smelled of strawberries, even her big deep hazel eyes. Not to mention how good it felt to kiss her- to really taste her. He could relieve himself of the saturation temporarily, and that was enough ... for now.

This obsession was intoxicating to Michael Guerin. He couldn’t go back to sleep now- not with her overwhelming his mind like this. He wanted so badly to kiss her until he couldn’t breath- the urge was so ... intense. The more he tried to fight it, the stronger his obsession became. It was almost animal, more than lust, but almost insane. He knew that this was far from normal, but being an alien meant that everything he went through was far from normal. Still, he didn’t want to give in- he couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself hurt her any worse than she would be. He didn’t want her to hurt at all. He could give into his obsession, but then his mission would end- he didn’t think he could ever force himself to leave a person who loved him like that ... a person that he loved just as much. That only left one option ... if he ever left, she would have to leave too. He didn’t think that he could live with out her now ... not that he wanted to. She wanted to be close. He was just scared- scared of actually being that close to someone- something he had never experienced before. That became his ultimate fear and he only had one response to his fears- one he always used without fail. Michael ran.

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