FanFic - Michael/Maria
"A Man Holding On"
Part 1
by Courtney
Disclaimer: The WB people own Roswell. Ty owns the song and lyrics. I own nothing. Isn’t that sad?
Summary: Ahh!! Sappy songfic! LOL. Okay, so this is cheesy but get over it. The song is called A Man Holding On (To A Woman Letting Go) by Ty Herndon and basically this is just my interpretation of M&M’s life as told around this song. Got all that? Yeah, me either.
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: Dedication: To Miri, my beta babe forever! You pump my ego like no other darlin’! Thank you so, so, so much!! Did I mention thanks? Hehehehe. And remember, clean clothes are for suckers . Note: I blame this on Napster. Oh, and lyrics are denoted with ( ), ok?
(Two young lovers with their bodies on fire

Aching to swim that river of desire

Leaving innocence there on the bank by their clothes

A man holding on to a woman letting go)

Maria kissed him and he felt the world slip away. No one and nothing existed but her. Her body, her kiss, her touch . . . he was as close to heaven as he would ever be. All of his worries and fears and insecurities seemed to fall by the wayside as he got caught up in all that she was.

“I love you, Maria,” he breathed. He didn’t know how they’d gotten there or where they were exactly. But, the feel of the soft grass beneath him and her lips above him was enough. He could ignore the rest. He didn’t want anything else.

Their first time that day, on the banks of a creek in some nameless town, was the greatest day of his life. It was the first time he’d ever let himself go; the first time he’d really given himself over to another person. When he was with Maria, he just wanted to hold on . . . and wanted to let go . . .

(There's a daddy walking his daughter down the aisle

Fighting back tears and forcing a smile

For 22 years he's watched her grow

Now he's a man holding on to a woman letting go)

He looked at the young woman beside him and fought back his tears. She was beautiful; the most beautiful woman in the world. She looked just like her mother, he thought.

The music began and Michael looked at his daughter. “Ready for this?” he asked with a half-smile.

“I’m ready, Daddy.” She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too,” she managed as he felt the lump rising in his throat. This was it. The day he’d dreaded was upon him. It was time to let her go . . .

(In the hill valley home there's a feeble old man

And he's holding on to a fragile old hand

The angels are coming to carry her home

A man holding on to a woman letting go)

He touched her cheek reverently and a tear slid down his wrinkled face and onto the thin, blue blanket that covered her. She looked so small, so fragile . . . it broke his heart. He knew that they didn’t have much time left and the realization was enough to take all of his hope in an instant.

“What am I going to do, Maria?” he asked softly to his wife. She didn’t answer. How long had it been since he’d heard her voice? It seemed like forever.

“You’re the only thing that’s ever been real in my life. I’m only the person that I am because of you,” he said to her. “I’m not anywhere near perfect . . . but you make me want to be. You make me want everything good in this world.”

Another tear escaped as he choked back a sob. “God, Maria, what am I without you? How can I wake up in the morning if you won’t be there? You’ve always been there . . .” His tears won out and his head fell forward onto the bed next to her. He cried as he clutched her hand. He wanted her to stay, desperately needed her to fight . . . but her fighting was over. It was her time and he knew it.

He’d never known that he could feel the kind of love he’d felt for her . . . his Maria. He’d been blessed with a lifetime with this woman that made him happier than he felt he ever deserved to be. And now he had to do what was right. He had to let her let go . . .

(His heart is telling him

To hang on for dear life

Cuz deep down he knows

She's letting go for good this time)

* * * * *

The End

January 3, 2000

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