Roswell: Crashdown (FanFic)

FanFic - Other

"After"
"Repetition"

Part 7
by Diana

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters. No infringement intended.
Summary: "Repetition" Another Destiny Tag… Liz’s Point of view
Category: Other
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: This is my interpretation of what the characters were going through a few days/ weeks after ‘Destiny’… Feedback is always appreciated... Thanks to everyone who's sent me feedback on my other stories :-D

I love you, Max. I hope you know that. I never wanted to leave you. Never. If I ever get you back, I’ll never leave you again. I swear it. But we had to be apart for a while. I had to let you do what you have to do. If you have to be with Tess for now, if you have to be the leader of an entire world, if I have to leave you so that you can be loyal to your people, so be it. I have to do this for you. I love you. I hope you know that. I keep repeating myself in my head. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t do anything but think about Max. I keep wondering if he tried to go after me when I left him. I keep wondering if he really wants to be with Tess after all. I keep wondering if he really loves me after all. I keep wondering why I left him in the first place. I’m supposed to be smarter than this. I had my life all planned out: graduate from Roswell High, graduate from Harvard, get a job, get married, become head of the biology department at Harvard, raise kids. That’s the way it was supposed to be. I wasn’t supposed to get shot, I wasn’t supposed to die, I wasn’t supposed to come back, I wasn’t supposed to find out that aliens really did exist, and I certainly wasn’t supposed to fall in love with one of them. My entire being loves Max Evans. My entire life seems to revolve around him. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to tear myself away from him. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even turn to my friends because my friends are all having the same problems. Maria loves Michael but he’s destine to be with someone else. Alex loves Isabel but she’s destine to be with someone else. I can’t talk to Michael or Isabel because of the problems they’re having with Maria and Alex and this whole destiny thing. And quite frankly, I don’t think either one of them would want to talk to me. I’m the one who got them in this trouble in the first place. If only Max had never fallen in love with me. If only I’d never been standing right in the line of fire in the Crashdown that day. If I hadn’t gotten shot, none of this would have happened. Max wouldn’t have revealed his secret. He and Isabel and Michael would have gone on with their lives. And when Tess came into the picture, they could have gone off and fulfilled their destiny without ever looking back. Michael and Maria never would have loved each other. Alex and Isabel never would have loved each other. Max and I never would have loved each other. Everyone would have been in a lot less pain right now. We all wouldn’t be so confused right now. But is that the way I really want it to be? If I had never been shot, I never would have known Max as anything more than a lab partner. I don’t want that. I want to love him. But if I do love him, all this pain comes with it. I am so confused. But I know what I have to do now. I love him. I have to do what’s best for him. I have to put my feelings aside for now. I have to let him go. This thing is bigger than us all. That’s such a cliché, but it’s the truth. A whole other world rests on Max, Michael, Isabel, and Tess’s shoulders. They need to be with each other for now. They have to do what they have to do. I can’t get in the way. If I asked Max to leave Tess, he would. He’d give up his world for me. But I can’t ask him to do that. Can’t I? No. I can’t. I have to let him go. I have to let him go. That’s the way it has to be. I love you, Max. I hope you know that. I never wanted to leave you. If I ever get you back, I’ll never leave you again. But I had to let you do what you have to do. If you have to be with Tess for now, if you have to be the leader of an entire world, if I have to leave you so that you can be loyal to your people, so be it. I have to do this for you. I love you. I hope you know that. But this time I have to be the one who takes a step back.

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