FanFic - Other
"Czech Your Dimensions"
Part 1
by John
Disclaimer: : Roswell characters belong to Warner Brothers. No infringement intended.
Summary: The B.S. Network ratings are falling again. One official described them as "sucking canal water". This happens a lot, but the execs decided a summer special featuring the Roswell "We Six" might possibly stem the decline. The finale of "Honey, I Can't Remember" was the network's highest rated show since their presentation of ADC; "America's Deodorant Challenge". (That's the show where the person who smells the best after 10 days without bathing wins an all expense paid trip to the Chicago Stockyards.) After re-negotiating his contract so as to not to be forced to provide a cliffhanger at the end (boy did I show them last time), the writer has again stocked up on No Doze and we're ready to present yet another exciting drama featuring our heroes and their friends. Now…here's the scoop. In our previous presentations on the B.S. Network some unique conditions for our heroes to live with have developed. We are not revising them no matter what others think destiny may hold. 1) The group is happily balanced. Max is with Liz, as he should be. (See "The Roswell E-Mail")
2) Alex has the power to connect with his alien friends. (See "The Roswell E-Mail")
3) Max and Isabelle's parents know their kids are aliens and they love them unconditionally anyway. (See "Balance Statements".)
4) Michael is always welcome at the Evans' home as long as uses the front door…to which they have given him a key (See "Balance Statements")
5) The couples have some indication that mating would be possible. (See "Balance Statements II.")
6) The B.S. Network has no contract with Tess.
7) The gang has a new friend. His name is Devin. He may seem strange. (See "Honey, I Can't Remember")
If you can live with these conditions…please continue. Otherwise…go watch another network.
And remember, ever popular reruns of our previous shows can be found at better websites everywhere.

Category: Other
Rating: PG
(Scene: The Evans Home)

Diane: Max, Isabel.

Isabel: Yeh mom?

Diane: It's summertime…time for a family getaway.

(Max and Isabel are somehow not excited about a vacation with mom and dad. They give each other that "oh no" look.)

Phil: We thought we'd take a trip to Southern California. You know, Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, Six Flags, the beach…

Max: (Trying not to sound too pained.) Sounds fun!

Diane: We thought you guys deserved a reward. You both made the honor roll this year.

Isabel: (Thinking about the possibility of a long few days.) Are we driving?

Phil: No, we're going to fly. No point in wasting time in the car.

(Silent connection.)

*Isabel: How do we tell them thanks, but no thanks.

*Max: I'm not sure we do. Anyway, it might be fun.

*Isabel: It would be if the traveling companions were more our age.

*Max: I know.

(End silent connection.)

Diane: Hey you two! Quit staring at each other. I know what you're thinking. Believe it or not, I was a teenager once too. That's why…

Phil: We thought maybe you'd like to ask Liz and Alex to come with us…it would give your mom and I a chance to get to know them better.

(Suddenly, the whole picture is changing.)

Isabel: (Excited.) Really? We could do that?

Diane: Sure! We thought you'd have more fun if your friends came along. It will be nice for us too, since we won't have to be continually wearing ourselves out trying to keep up with you.

Phil: Only a couple of catches. One is you have to have dinner with us old folks each night and roommates will be Max with Alex and Isabel with Liz.

Diane: And remember…you can't fool mom!

Phil: So, what do you think?

(Isabel and Max look at each other. They'd like to go with their significant others, but they feel bad about the idea of leaving Michael and Maria behind. They pause…look at each other.)

Diane: We thought you'd be excited.

Max: (Tense.) Uh…we are, mom.

Phil: Well, if you don't want to go…

Isabel: It's not that…it's just…

Diane: What dear?

Isabel: Well…we're kind of…kind of a group of six these days. I'm afraid Michael and Maria will feel bad if we just leave them.

(Phil looks at Diane. She nods.)

Phil: Well, what if they came too?

(Max and Isabel smile at each other.)

Max: Is there any way? I mean plane fare is expensive and…

Phil: Hey, we haven't done anything like this for along time. If it would make you both happy…

Diane: It would have to be three guys and three gals to a room.

Max: Works for me.

Isabel: That's actually more fun.

Phil: Well then, see if they all can go. We'd like to leave week after next. Can you all get off work?

Max: I think I can. The hot summer isn't peak tourist season in Roswell.

Isabel: It might be hard for Maria, Liz, and Michael to all get away at the same time. Who would run the Crashdown?

Max: There might be a way. Let's see what they can work out.

Isabel: OK, dad. Can we let you know in a day or two?

Phil: Sure! But we need to make reservations soon to get good fares.

Isabel: You know, I'll bet Michael has never done anything like this.

Diane: All the more reason for him to come. You know, as far as we're concerned, he can be as much a part of our family as he wants to be.

Max: He's come a long way, mom. Have patience with him. Isabel and I have had to do that for years.

Diane: I just wish we'd known about his connection to you sooner. I still feel bad we didn't find him when we found you two.

Max: You remember how much trouble I had telling you about what you already knew? Multiply that by about ten for Michael.

Diane: I know son…but we can try to make it up to him now.

Isabel: Thanks, mom and dad.

(Max and Isabel set off to find their friends.)

(Scene: The Crashdown!)

Alex: That sounds really neat, Isabel. I think my dad will let me go.

Liz: Oh Max! It sounds so wonderful. A week away from here with you…and all of us together! But I just don't see how all three of us could leave this place at the same time. Mom's short handed anyway…

Maria: Liz is right. We might be able to find a waitress to help out…but a cook?

Michael: That's OK! You guys go. I'll stay and work.

Maria: That's not fair.

Isabel: Have you ever been to Disneyland, Michael?

Michael: Uh…no! But that's not exactly my thing anyway.

Alex: How do you know if you've never been there?

Michael: It doesn't matter. I can't go anyway. Your folks need the help, Liz. Besides, if I did go with you, Maria's mom probably wouldn't let her go.

Isabel: But our parents will be there. They could convince her it would be OK.

Max: There must be someone who can work for you, Michael.

Michael: The sum of my friends is right here, Maxwell. I don't know whom I could ask.

Devin: I could do it, Michael.

Michael: (cynically) I doubt it.

Devin: Why not? I may not have much sense of taste, but you only make a limited number of things anyway. If you taught me how to cook them, why couldn't I do it?

Liz: It nice of you to offer, Devin.

Alex: It would be fun to have you go too, Devin.

Devin: No! First, I have no partner. And second, I'm not sure if I could get through the airport scanners or not. Probably not a cool idea to try that anytime soon. I can help you guys more by working for Michael. If Maria's mom has a problem with Maria and Michael going on a vacation together, I could just spike my hair and she'd think Michael was still here. You guys ought to go.

(Michael, who has no great love for Devin, is surprised at the offer.)

Michael: You'd do that for me?

Devin: Sure! I owe you, buddy. After what I did to you and Maria…

Maria: Hey Devin! You sound like I used to…always asking for gratitude. I said we forgive you. You didn't know what you were doing. Forget it! I think we need to re-balance him, Alex.

Alex: I don't know if it would work on him.

Maria: I was kidding!

Alex: Oh!

Max: So, that solves one problem. How about someone to fill in for you two.

Liz: I think mom would cover for me. That just leaves Maria.

Maria: Let me work on it.

Isabel: I'm excited. It looks like this might just work out.

Alex: I can't wait to ride Space Mountain with you, Isabel.

Isabel: Why?

Alex: It's in the dark…and you can sit between my legs.

(Isabel rolls her eyes.)

Michael: Hey Devin. Could you do me one more favor?

Devin: Probably.

Michael: Twice I've had people try and break into my apartment. I'm afraid if anyone knows I'm gone that they'll succeed.

Alex: (worried) Do you think they were looking for something specific, Michael?

Michael: I don't know. I hope not. But that's why I gave the balance rocks back to Isabel. There's nothing else in there that's telltale.

Liz: What about that case of Tabasco sauce?

Michael: Never mind that! Anyway, Devin…could you stay at my place while we are gone. No one will know the difference between you and me.

Devin: Alex? Could I do that? What would your dad say?

Alex: I'll talk to him. I don't see a problem. Devin needs an internet connection, Michael. Do you have one?

Michael: Yes. He can use it.

Devin: Sounds like it'll work out fine.

Max: Let's start figuring out what we need to take….

Isabel: I'm getting excited.

Maria: Me too. I need a break. Isabel, would you come with me when I talk to my mom? Just tell her you're inviting me. We don't have to mention Michael.

Isabel: Sure…let's go.

(The gang continues to make plans for the trip. The closer it gets the more excited they become. Maria's mom not only agreed to let her go, but said she'd help out by filling for her at the Crashdown. Now, it's just a few days before time to go and Alex and the band have a gig at the opening of a new club. The gang decides to check it out.)

(Scene: The new club)

Isabel: Is it me, or is the band actually getting better. I used to come just to watch Alex, but they really are sounding pretty good tonight.

Max: I think they really are improving.

Liz: Maria has helped the whole band get better.

Max: I know Alex still thinks she bosses them too much.

Michael: Why does Alex still let Devin sing with Maria?

Isabel: Because, despite what you think about Devin, they really do sound good together. Listen!

(Maria and Devin are singing and a small crowd is gathering around the stage. Among the spectators is Anna, the "cute blonde" that sat next to Devin in class. She is staring at Devin and Maria as they sing. After the song, the band takes a break. As Devin climbs down from the stage…)

Anna: Hey Devin…Devin Whitman!

Devin: Hi!

Anna: Remember me…I'm Anna. I sat next to you in science class.

Devin: Yeh...I remember.

Anna: I didn't know you could sing. You're great.

Devin: It's something I'm prog…uh…something I like to do. Glad you like it.

Anna: So…can I get you a drink or something?

Devin: (surprised) Uh...yeh…why not.

Anna: Let's go sit over there.

(Anna takes Devin's hand and leads him to a table. They order drinks.)

Anna: So, you just moved to Roswell recently? I remember when you joined the class.

Devin: Yes. I lived in Alamogorda but my…my dad had to go overseas so I'm staying with my Uncle.

Anna: That's Alex Whitman's dad?

Devin: Yeh…that's how I got hooked up with the band. Alex is my…my cousin.

Anna: Neat! So…are you seeing anyone? I mean, do you have a girlfriend?

Devin: I've been trying to make friends here. I've seen a few people.

Anna: I'm having a party at my house next Saturday. Wanta come? They'll be lots of people there.

(Devin doesn't know how to act. A cute girl is asking him to come to a party.)

Devin: I may have to work…but maybe I could come late. How long will it last?

Anna: Oh…It'll go 'till midnight or later…so come when you can. Here's the address.

(She hands him a piece of paper with the address.)

Devin: Thanks…I'll try to make it. I better get back on stage. Nice to see you again.

(Michael and company witnessed this whole exchange.)

Michael: What does Devin think he's doing…talking to that girl? If she knew what he was…

Liz: But she doesn't…and she seems to like him. Alex says he's developing human traits.

Michael: That scares me! He could pass himself off as a normal person.

Max: As if you've never had any experience at doing that!

Michael: It's not the same thing, Maxwell. I'm biologically alive, not a glorified IBM.

Liz: You should lighten up, Michael. I'm sorta beginning to like Devin. He's interesting and…

Isabel: We agreed we'd…

Michael: I never agreed to anything except not to make him cyber junk.

Liz: And to keep his secret.

Michael: I feel like I should warn that innocent young girl. She acts like she wants to be friends with him.

Max: Is that so wrong? We don't tell everyone who wants to be our friend about what we are. Michael: Some of us don't.

Max: Hey! You must need a Maria fix. You're Oscar today.

Michael: Who's Oscar?

Isabel: I think he's just jealous because Devin gets to be on stage with Maria.

Michael: That's not it at all. I just…

(Just then Maria comes over.)

Liz: Thank goodness you're here. Michael needs you.

Maria: Good…because I need him too.

Michael: Doesn't it bother you…up there singing with…with whatever that is?

Maria: No! Devin and I sing well together. But he doesn't hold a candle to you when it comes to other things.

(Kisses Michael.)

Isabel: See Michael. No need to be jealous.

Maria: He's jealous of Devin and I? Come on Michael! I sing with him, but my heart's with you. When it comes to anything but singing I know what I want. What I want is you!

(Maria leans in and kisses Michael again.)

Michael: Thanks, Maria. I guess I did need that. But did you see Devin flirting with that little blonde over there?

Maria: Yes! I thought it was nice.

Michael: What's wrong with you people. He's a ma…

(Isabel puts her hand over Michael's mouth.)

Isabel: Shhhhh! You promised!

Maria: Besides, he making it so you can go to California with me. You should be licking his boots.

Michael: I am grateful for that. It was nice of him to offer. He's even learned how to cook pretty well.

Liz: So get off his case. Alex won't let him get out of control again.

Michael: OK! OK! I'll try to be nicer to him.

Isabel: Good!

Maria: I've got to sing one more set…then we can leave if you want to.

Michael: I want to. Leave with you, that is.

Maria: Back in a few.

(Maria finishes her songs and Michael and Maria along with Max and Liz decide to leave. Isabel stays to help Alex pack up after the band is done.)

Isabel: You guys sounded good tonight.

Alex: Thanks, honey.

Isabel: Did you see Devin with that girl?

Alex: Yes! I thought that was neat.

Isabel: Michael doesn't. He was ready to blow his cover and tell her about him.

Alex: He wouldn't do that, would he? He promised.

Isabel: I don't think he'd really tell. He just doesn't like Maria being on stage with him.

Alex: Oh! I get it. He's jealous.

Isabel: He won't admit it.

Alex: I want to give Devin room and see how he develops. I hope we all will. So, are you ready to go?

Isabel: Yeh! You know Alex, I get jealous of your time in the band too, but I don't threaten to expose you.

Alex: Expose me?

Isabel: Yeh! (Whispers in his ear.) Alex Whitman's in love with an alien…pass it on.

Alex: (smiles) I don't even think about that most of the time anymore. I'm in love with Isabel Evans. That's what matters!

Isabel: I love you too Alex.

(Well, that was interesting. I guess Michael can't quite bring himself to totally accept Devin, despite the nice thing Devin is doing for him. The gang will be leaving for California day after tomorrow and we'll get back to them as they leave. Day after tomorrow is Saturday. We'll have to check out Devin and the party too. And, golly gee…I know another surprise that's coming but I won't tell. I won't! I wont! I won't! Now, you must stay tuned to the B.S. Network for a brand new show about the life of three striptease dancers. It's called "I Bare You"!

Index | Part 2
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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