FanFic - Other
"Destiny's Amends"
Part 1
by Dawn
Disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor anything else attached to Roswell. This is not intended to upset anyone. All rights belong to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, Regency, the WB, whomever.
Summary: Mostly Isabel POV about life post-Destiny. Specifically the story deals with her identification of issues that have arisen and what, if anything, she can do about them. Don't worry, there's something for the Dreamer, Candygirl and Stargazer in later installments!
Category: Other
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: Feedback is the ambrosia of the gods so give a hoot and write!
Isabel tossed and turned; her sleep haunted by images her conscious mind feared facing.

"Your name was Vilandra, and you had a love. And for that love you sacrificed everything, including yourself."

"betrayed your brother…"

Isabel awoke with a start, a fine sheen of sweat covering her body. She had been plagued by these visions in her dreams nightly. She shoved the blankets off and got out of bed, too keyed up to try and sleep again. Pacing around the room she forced herself to think about the dreams. There was something about the whole experience that had been bothering her, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Every night she lived through the series of events that led to the discovery of her "other" identity, and every night it seemed as though she was supposed to see something she hadn't before, pay attention to some forgotten element. What was it?

Groaning in frustration she threw herself down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling she tried in vain to think about something else, anything else, like Alex…no, not Alex. If it were possible it was worse to think about Alex. Her conscience gave a little pang, she really did need to devote some quality time to thinking, and more importantly acting, on that front but not tonight. To her horror she could feel tears begin to well up as they often did nowadays, especially when she thought about him. With a Herculean effort she clamped down her emotions and forced her mind to reflect again on tonight's dream, turning it over and over.

Max found her in that position, staring up at the ceiling, one arm draped across her forehead, her brows knitted together in obvious concentration the next morning.

"Iz, are you okay?" he asked as he perched himself on the side of the bed. She looked beat, still great, but beat nonetheless. Only Isabel could look like a supermodel after only an hour of sleep, which Max guessed was the total amount she had managed last night.

She managed a small smile as she gathered herself and pulled upright to sit next to him. How she would love to tell him everything, to have him listen and tell her everything was okay, or at least that it soon would be all right. But this was Max. Max was their predestined leader, and she couldn't do that to him, couldn't add to his already full load of worries…because that's what talking to him would do. It had always been somewhat like this Isabel mused as she wondered what to tell her brother. Max was a fixer. It was hard for him to hear about someone in trouble and not try to help.

Now it was worse. She had no doubts it was worse for him, but it was still worse. Now Max had the fate of an entire race on his shoulders, and even mentioning her concerns would only increase his already constant state of worry about her and Michael. As much as she hated it there was only one thing to say that would not prompt further questioning.

"I was thinking about…about…about Alex." She sighed as she said it. Just as she had thought, Max simply put his arm around her and held her close, saying nothing.

As they drove to school she felt a little guilty about her lie. Although it was technically a lie she had spent some time last night thinking about Alex. Not nearly enough, her conscience mocked her again, but she had thought of him.

Actually what she felt guilty about was using Alex to stop Max from asking any questions. She knew that it would do the trick because any talk of her now nonexistent, could-have-been a love life would bring them too close to a discussion of Max's own once-upon-a-time. And that was a subject no one mentioned. Not since Kyle and Liz had managed to destroy Max's happiness.

Her heart leapt as her brain recognized that this was a subject she could ponder for a while without the immediate threat of tears. Kyle and Liz. She still couldn't believe what the rumor mill was saying, but the look of pain on Max's face any time he saw Liz was proof enough for Isabel.

And yet it didn't make any sense. Liz was so in love with Max, and still was. Anyone with functioning brain cells could tell that just by looking at her watching him. Maybe she should look into it a little further. She hated seeing Max so upset, and Liz too for that matter.

She felt a small measure of surprise as she felt the truth behind that statement. She really did care for Liz, she realized. Maybe she didn't stop to think about it often enough but Liz had ended up being a terrific friend. Growing up the way she did it was hard for Isabel to get truly close to anyone besides Max and Michael. Sure circumstances could have been a lot less dangerous but Isabel was glad that she finally had other people with whom she could truly be herself.

For the second time that morning she felt surprised at her realization, and for the first time felt a genuine smile find its way to her lips.

In geometry class Isabel spent her time watching her friends. Specifically she focused on Liz and Kyle. Liz looked bad, really worn out and if you looked very closely you could tell she had recently been crying. Kyle, on the other hand, looked almost giddy. He wasn't focusing on the lesson at all; he was doodling in his notebook with this silly grin plastered on his face. Isabel wondered what was making him so happy and started to watch his hand, to see if she could tell what he was drawing. After a while it became evident that he was writing the same thing over and over. Supremely interested now she intensified her perusal and waited patiently to decipher his scribbles.

A few minutes later she realized that she was too far away or else his handwriting was too bad for her to clearly make it out. She needed to see the notebook up close. To do that she needed to get closer to Kyle. She let out a sigh, and as she realized her teacher was looking at her she quickly turned it into a cough. Realizing she had inadvertently come up a plan she intensified her coughing slightly. No reason to get all drama queen and pretend she was choking, she thought to herself. Isabel quieted her coughing, allowing a few moments to pass before she started again. This time she raised her hand after the first few seconds.

"May I please get a drink of water?" she asked. Bingo! Now she could nonchalantly walk over to Kyle's desk and see what he was doing. She stood up, careful to continue coughing slightly. As she made her way over to Kyle she thought about what she was doing, wondering if she were overstepping her bounds. A quick look back at Liz and then Max helped ease her mind.

Kyle remained blissfully unaware of her presence as she passed him. Looking down she almost starting choking for real. On every line, in different scripts, was a single word: Tess.

Index | Part 2
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
Crashdown is maintained by and . Design by Goldenboy.
Copyright © 1999-2004 Web Media Entertainment.
No infringement intended.