FanFic - Other
"Honey I Can't Remember"
Part 14
by John
Disclaimer: Roswell characters belong to Warner Brothers. No infringement intended.
Category: Other
Rating: PG
(Having figured out that his imitation cousin Devin is either a very sophisticated android or a human with a computer implant, Alex is trying to discover more about this “being”.

He’s been studying the database rebuild program that Devin apparently needs to function properly. He’s guessing from the way Devin acts that part of his fundamental programming directive is to mingle and interact with people. That would make sense if someone if trying to pass him off as a human. The alien trio is concerned that Devin has been sent to spy on them, but they’re also trying to be loyal to Alex as a friend. They’ve decided to try to find out more. As an experiment, Alex has made a small change to the rebuild program on Devin’s laptop and temporarily disabled the Internet connection at their house so Devin can’t call and get a new one. Now his chore is tell Maria about Devin without telling her about the alien secret. He visits Maria at the Crashdown.

Maria slides into a booth with Alex.)

Alex: Hey, Maria.

Maria: Hey, Alex.

Alex: How’s the memory? Are you getting anything back?

Maria: Every once in a while when I do something, I get a feeling that I’ve done it before. Nothing specific yet that I can pinpoint. I was amazed when Michael kissed me though. I saw myself doing lots of things. What do you supposed caused me to experience that?

Alex: Uh...er...chemistry I guess. He does love you Maria. You two…

Maria: I like him a lot too, Alex. I just haven’t told him. I’ve kind of enjoyed having him try to remind me of what we were. It will help me in the long term I think.

Alex: He can help you more if you’ll let him.

Maria: What do you mean?

Alex: Just having a support person always makes someone feel better. I’ve been so happy since Isabel and I…

Maria: I still don’t believe you and Isabel Evans. What an unlikely combination!

Alex: Speaking of unlikely, I need to talk to you about Devin.

Maria: I like him OK, but I think I see a more real person in Michael. Even if Devin has more manners and polish, there’s just something about Michael that seems more down to earth.

(Alex has to smile at that description. Hopefully Michael can tell her about himself soon.)

Alex: That feeling might just have something to do with the fact the Michael is alive…he has a spirit…a soul.

Maria: And Devin doesn’t?

Alex: Hang on Maria. There is something very strange going on right here in Roswell. Devin is not what he appears to be.

Maria: He’s kind of phony…but he sure can sing.

Alex: He’s a very big phony. I don’t expect you to believe this, but have you ever known me to lie to you?

Maria: Not since the second grade when you put the frog in my backpack.

Alex: Uh…even then I came clean, right?

Maria: True!

Alex: OK! I’m being quite serious now, Maria. Devin is a computer.

Maria: What did you say?

Alex: Whatever this Devin is, he’s not my cousin. I found out my real cousin Devin is at a military school in Virginia.

Maria: So who’s the Devin that’s here?

Alex: A better question would be, “what is the Devin that’s here”?

Maria: You’re not making sense.

Alex: That’s because this doesn’t make sense. I think the Devin we’re dealing with is a very sophisticated android. If not, then he’s a biological being, possibly engineered, with a computer implant. In any event, he’s not human.

(Maria looks at Alex like he lost his mind.)

Maria: No robot looks or acts that real, Alex.

Alex: Everyone keeps saying he’s a robot. I agree; robots are not usually very sophisticated, but Devin is a very high tech android. I think we’re being used as test subjects to see if he can integrate with us. He seems to have a mission to associate with people…or haven’t you noticed.

Maria: He does seem to constantly want to be with people.

Alex: I think that’s part of his programming.

Maria: Alex, I can accept a lot from you, but this?

Alex: The bad part is my dad’s in on it.

Maria: How do you know?

Alex: I overheard a phone conversation with my dad talking to someone who I think was my Uncle. They gave me some clues. I also found some computer programming printouts that Devin is using to function.

Maria: Why are you telling me this?

Alex: I’ve already told Max, Michael and Isabel. Remember, we’re going to the Evan’s tonight for a video party. If Devin acts at all strange, just ignore it.

Maria: Why would he act strange?

Alex: Because I made a little modification to a computer program he uses to sort data. It might do something to him. Then again, it might not.

Maria: It also might not do anything because you’re cuckoo in the brain and whatever you did to his computer stuff would have no effect anyway. I’m still having trouble believing this.

Alex: Is that because you don’t want to admit you had some feelings for an android?

Maria: Well, he is cute. And he sings well.

Alex: Michael doesn’t sing…at least I’ve never heard him do so…but he has the same face. Oh, and I can tell you why, too.

Maria: I dying to hear that.

Alex: My dad sent my Uncle our high school yearbook. My Uncle wanted to clone a face that wouldn’t be recognized in Alamogorda. In the conversation I heard, my Uncle said he choose the most unlikely subject in the book to duplicate.

Maria: Michael’s cute…and he’s sweet…in a way.

Alex: Tell him that, Maria. It will help him a lot. And…if anything weird happens tonight, just remember what I told you.

Maria: Only because it’s you, Alex. Because it’s you that told me, I’ll at least consider that it might be true.

Alex: Michael wanted to tell you, but I told him you’d just think he was trying to divert you from Devin.

Maria: Did he put you up to this?

Alex: No, Maria! I swear what I’m saying is the truth. Be prepared!

(Alex excuses himself to go get ready for the party. Maria resumes her duties at the Crashdown. A few hours later, everyone is gathering at the Evan’s. Alex contacted Isabel and told her to be ready if anything weird happened with Devin. She said she’d tell Max and the others. Alex insisted on driving he and Devin tonight. It was hard to get Devin to ride in Alex’s clunky old car instead of his fancy gold Jeep Cherokee, but after some arm…or would that be artificial limb…twisting, he agreed.)

Isabel: Hey! Come on in guys.

Alex: Liz here yet?

Isabel: Are you kidding. “There but for Max goes she”.

Alex: Huh?

Isabel: That was a joke. Don’t you remember the song “There But For You Go I”? from when the school put on the play Brigadoon?

(Almost immediately, Devin begins singing:)

Devin: “I looked as I thanked all the stars in the sky, there but for you go I”.

(Alex drags him into the living room.)

Isabel: Thanks Devin. At least someone got the joke.

Devin: I did, Liz.

Isabel: No, I’m Isabel.

Devin: I thought there but for you go I was Liz.

Alex: Never mind! Is Max here?

Max: Right here!

Alex: How about Maria?

(Devin starts singing "Maria Maria". Alex stops him again.)

Isabel: She’s picking up Michael, Alex. They should be here shortly.

Alex: What movie are we going to watch?

Isabel: I’ve got the latest James Bond: The World Is Not Enough, The Haunting, The Bone Collector, or It Came From The Sky.

(Alex raises an eyebrow at her having that last one.)

Alex: Any of those float your boat, Devin?

Devin: I don’t own a boat, but I have a Jeep…it's gold and…

Liz: Never mind! Maybe we should wait until Maria and Michael get here to choose the movie.

Isabel: OK…in the meantime! Devin…you wanted to get to know us better. Why don't you start by telling us something about yourself? What do you want to do in life?

Devin: I'm from Alamogorda. I like to meet people.

Isabel: I mean, what are you good at? What do you think you’d like to do after graduation?

Devin: I do like to take relationships gradually.

(Isabel makes silent connection to Alex.)

Isabel: (silent) What did you do to him?

Alex: (silent) Nothing really. I just doctored his data rebuild routine a bit.

Isabel: (silent) He seems confused.

Alex: (silent and smiling diabolically) Yeh!

(End connection. Just then Michael and Maria arrive.)

Max: Come on in guys. We were waiting for you to decide what movies to watch.

Devin: I only see one guy. Maria's a girl.

(Alex quickly connects with Michael.)

Alex: (Silently) Did Isabel talk to you about Devin?

Michael: (Silently) Yeh!

Alex: (Silently) Be prepared!

Michael: (Silently) Gottcha!

Isabel: So, what do you PEOPLE want to watch?

Liz: I vote for "The Haunting".

Maria: That's OK with me.

Michael: Let me see what else you have.

Max: I don't really care, as long as I can snuggle with Liz. I probably won't see much of the movie anyway.

Isabel: OK, let's watch "The Haunting".

(Devin starts singing again…)

Devin: "A haunting I will go…a haunting I will go…hi ho the dare ee oh…a haunting I will go".

(It's all the group can do to keep from laughing hysterically. Finally Alex calms Devin again.)

Isabel: Alex, can you help me in the kitchen for a minute?

Alex: Sure!

(Alex and Isabel go to the kitchen.)

Isabel: What in heavens name did you do to him? He's nuts!

Alex: I did almost nothing to that rebuild routine. Just a couple of minor changes. Obviously it's a very critical program for him.

Isabel: Don't leave him that way. It will be a disaster.

Alex: I've re-enabled the Internet at our house, and I'm sure he'll head right for it when we get home. I suspect a correct program will fix him.

Isabel: It better or you've created a monster.

Alex: Don't worry. He a computer and I can handle computers better that people.

Isabel: You can handle me any time, Alex.

Alex: ISABEL???!!!!

Isabel: Just trying to sound like Devin.

Alex: Darn!

(Isabel yells into the living room…)

Isabel: Anybody want some popcorn before we start the movie?

Devin: I'll have a Mountain Dew!

Isabel: No Devin! Popcorn…not pop.

Max: Sounds good, Isabel.

Devin: If you're going to pop a corn, you should probably see a podiatrist.

Maria: Oh God! Stop him!

Michael: Put some Tabasco sauce on the popcorn, Iz.

Liz: Better make two bowls Iz…one with…one without.

Devin: Tabasco sauce does not belong on popcorn.

Michael: Around here it does!

Devin: Around here…Tabasco sauce…on popcorn…got it!

(Maria has forgotten about the Tabasco sauce habit of her friends. Devin never knew it.)

Maria: Is everyone here crazy?

Michael: Only me for you, Maria! You drive me insane!

Devin: Is that near I-25?

Part 13 | Index | Part 15
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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