FanFic - Other
"In A Boy's Dream"
Part 4
by Karen
Disclaimer: Don't own anything but an active imagination. All Roswell characters are the property of someone at the WB. "Reunion" is from Collective Soul.
Summary: Good vs. Evil with our Izzy in the middle (Guess who wins)
Category: Other
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: Feedback appreciated. Just be gentle with me - it was my first time!!
Max looked at the book in front of him. He was in his room again, seated at his desk, his biology book opened to the night's assignment. He sighed. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get over thinking about Liz. Everything reminded him of her. Including a lousy biology assignment. She'd been the best lab partner he'd ever had - biology was natural to her. When they'd parted, he'd found an excuse to change his schedule and left the biology class. He'd found another class with Alex as a lab partner. Alex was good at science too, but not biology in particular. And he could never replace Liz.

Max sat back in his chair, the springs giving a familiar squeak. He scratched his nails across his face. He couldn't get away from the thought of her. He especially enjoyed these torturous moments alone in his room when he could wallow in his agony, going over and over her last words to him. The tone of her voice, the smell of her hair, the hurt in her eyes. His inability to make her stop walking away from him.

He let out a frustrated groan and pushed himself up from his chair. Pacing nervously, he tried to decide if tonight was the night he'd pour salt into his wounds. Ultimately, he decided it was.

He grabbed his leather coat and climbed out of his window. The act brought a small amount of joy to the events about to come - Michael had frequently used that window to break in, now Max was using it to break out. At the drive, he looked at his jeep, felt the keys in his jacket pocket. He decided against it. It wasn't that far of a walk - and the night was cool and crisp. He could use some fresh air. And it would also give him time to talk himself out of it and turn around and go home.

He didn't talk to himself long enough to talk himself out of it. Instead, he just pressed on, staring up at the sky the whole time. The stars were exceptionally bright tonight, even with the glow of the streetlights. I'll bet I can see all of the way home, he thought. If only I knew where home was.

Maybe this is home, he thought, looking back down as he crossed a street. I'm happy here, aren't I? Or at least I could be, if.... Maybe this is what was intended all along. Maybe I'm not supposed to find my way back. Maybe this is where I belong.

Max couldn't debate this with himself any longer- he'd come to the brick wall that led to Liz's balcony. He felt like Romeo. But where was Juliet? Why wasn't she on the balcony looking for him?

Liz?

Had he said that aloud? He wondered because she had suddenly appeared, peering over the edge of the balcony.

Max froze, his heart suddenly pounding and working its way to his throat. He couldn't swallow past it. His flight instinct started to work its way to his feet. God, what was he thinking coming here? You're nuts, Evans. You'll be lucky if she doesn't spit on you from that height.

"Max?"

The sound of Liz's voice piercing the night convinced Max he hadn't spoken her name aloud earlier. "Uh, hi," he stammered.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, no malice in her voice.

"What are you doing looking over the edge?" he asked curiously.

Liz pulled back for a moment, as if thinking, then answered honestly. "I knew you were coming."

Max's jaw dropped. He wasn't so concerned about her knowing he was coming - he was more worried that she had known all of the other nights he'd wandered past her home, some times in the very wee hours of the morning. If she knew about all of the times he'd actually climbed the ladder to the balcony and had watched her sleep, he'd be mortified. And she'd kill him.

He was too stunned to speak.

So Liz spoke for him. "I don't know how I knew. I just knew." She hesitated, then motioned behind her. "Would you like to come up?"

The flight instinct had kicked into over drive and Max had to will his feet to stay planted and not charge for home; his heart started pumping even faster. He wondered if he had the strength to climb the ladder. Did he want to go up? Yes. Did he think this was a bad idea? Yes. Was he going to do it anyway? Probably.

"You wouldn't mind?" he asked, uncertain.

Liz shook her head and stepped back from the ladder.

Max took a deep breath and scaled the fire escape. When he reached the top, he saw that Liz had sat down on her lounge chair, her legs tucked beneath her like a cat, her arms folded protectively over her chest. Body language said a lot - she was making herself as small as possible to avoid injury. Max shoved his hands into his pockets, forced a weak smile. He gestured with his chin toward a book on her table.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"A Perfect Storm," she replied.

Max had to laugh to himself - Liz always read the book before seeing the movie, just to see how true they stayed to the story. He caught her eye, and his amusement faded away. When he looked at her, he saw the confusion and perhaps even the fear in her eyes. He also noticed that her breathing had quickened. She was just as scared as he was at this moment. And he had no idea how to comfort her. She looked the part of a frightened little bird, wondering if he was going to crush her.

Was there anything left of her to crush? He'd thought he'd done all of the possible damage two months ago. But from the look on her face, there was still something fragile there that she was trying desperately to protect.

Max moved over to the folding chair that was beside her lounge chair. He sat down slowly, then glanced at her. She was looking at him, her big brown eyes fixed on his face. She wasn't going to speak first.

Max cleared his throat. "Liz," he started, trying to keep his voice as calming as possible. "I know you are wondering why I am here."

She nodded.

"Problems with my biology homework," he laughed, remembering what had started this voyage into agony.

Liz didn't laugh.

Max cleared his throat again, shifted nervously and started to get up. "Maybe this is a mistake...."

Liz's words stopped him. "What is it, Max?"

He stopped, eased himself back down to the chair. "What do you mean?"

She snorted. "Even I can see something is bothering you. Something besides...me."

Max looked away, suddenly uncomfortable. Telling Isabel he was having nightmares was one thing, but telling Liz that he'd grown increasingly afraid to sleep was another.

He felt a small hand on his arm, and the electric buzz he'd felt whenever he and Liz had touched started to work its way to his fingers and toes and even the ends of his hair. It almost took his breath away. With it came all of the memories he'd shared with her, all of the times he'd held her, kissed her...hurt her. He looked up into her eyes and could tell she was feeling it, too. It felt like...home.

Max let out a sigh. "I've been having visions," he started.

Liz removed her hand, and he felt suddenly cold. "Go on," she urged.

"I can't remember them." He looked down at the ground, folded his hands in his lap. "All I know is that they terrify me, and they wake me up out of a dead sleep, and it has something to do with Isabel." He took in a shaky breath, then looked at Liz again. "I think it's a premonition. I think something is going to happen to her."

Liz was looking at him with the same look she got when she was trying to debug a programming error in computer lab - no fear, just curiosity and a strong determination to get to the bottom of the problem. Her gaze wasn't without empathy, however. She could see he was upset.

"Have you talked to Is about it?" she questioned.

Max gave a nervous laugh. "No. I didn't want to frighten her. She's so fragile that way, you know? She needs her security."

"But if something is going to happen to her, shouldn't she be prepared and ready to protect herself?"

Is that what Liz had done? Had she spent her time away from Max preparing for a night like this? A night when he'd climb her balcony and want to talk through his problems like nothing had ever happened between them? Had she spent her time building up her defenses?

"I'm being selfish," Max said suddenly. "I shouldn't have come here and expected you to help me with my problems." He rose to his feet and moved for the ladder.

"Max, wait," Liz said gently.

Max stopped, his hand on the top rung. He turned around slowly. She had gotten up and was standing before him, looking up into his eyes. He thought he saw a tear there, but it was gone as soon as he'd had the thought.

"I have something to say to you," she said softly. Max swallowed hard as she reached out and took his hand, the buzz beginning all over again. "Listen, I know things didn't work out. I know we haven't spoken in a long time. But, I will never be...connected to anyone the way I am connected to you. I feel like a part of me belongs to you, Max. Not just because you saved my life, but because there is something special about our bond. It means a lot to me that you came here tonight when something was troubling you. And I don't want you to stay away. Our relationship may never be what we wish it could be, but I will always be here for you, Max. Do you understand that?"

Max felt a tear coming to his eye and forced it away. "Yeah," he answered weakly.

With that, Liz reached up and put her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. He could feel her heart beating against his, and this time the tears did come. He pulled away and turned his head so she couldn't see.

"I better go," he said, then was gone.

Part 3 | Index | Part 5
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