#102 The Morning After – Quotes

Added by Lisa

Michael: Max, listen, that picture Valenti showed Liz means there’s someone else out there. Someone who was here in 1959. That means he was here when it crashed. He knows where we come from, he knows who we are, he knows why we’re here. Maybe he knows how to get back.
Max: Michael, I know how you feel. Believe me, I want to know too. But the sheriff has that picture, so we’ll never see it. I mean, that would be impossible, right? Michael?

Maria: … I mean, what do we even know about these people? Nothing. How do we know that they’re not 3 feet tall, green, and slimy?

Maria: The point is that we don’t know anything about these Czechoslovakians. Are they good Czechoslovakians? Bad Czechoslovakians? We don’t know. Are they just random Czechoslovakians? For all we know, they don’t have their passports. (Alex pops up from the front booth)
Alex: Who’s Czechoslovakian?
Maria: Hey!
Liz: Hey!
Alex: Hey … so, who’s Czechoslovakian?

Maria: (about Michael) OK, that guy creeps me out.

Liz: (voiceover as she glances over at Max) The thing about Czechoslovakians that you sorta have to factor in, is they have these incredibly soulful eyes.

Mrs. Topolsky: So, the infamous Roswell, New Mexico. Before we get started, let me just ask: Does anyone here actually believe in aliens?

Mrs. Topolsky: Do you know where Michael Guerin is?
Max: Uh … Michael’s not really into Geometry.

Maria: Well think about it. She takes attendance. What substitute teacher takes attendance? I mean, God, the whole thing is so Roswellian. I’m telling you Liz, she’s been sent here.
Liz: Why would she be sent here?
Maria: To find the Czechoslovakians.
Liz: Sniff some cedar oil, Maria.

Alex: (to girls walking away, laughing) What, so now I’m a freak?

Michael: Good evening, Deputy. I’m selling candies for charity.
Deputy Hansen: Charity?
Michael: Yeah, I’m on the committee to re-open Westlake Orphanage, Deputy Hansen. You can be a part of helping to find homes for dozens of children in need. Single boxes are six dollars a piece, and I feel obliged to strongly recommend the peanut clusters. They are good.

Max: And what was your cover story?
Michael: I was selling candies for charity. Peanut cluster?
Max: And they bought it?
Michael: No, they all seemed to be on a diet.
Isabel: Not the candy, Einstein, the story.

Max: You can’t just show up at Michael’s and get him riled up like that. You don’t know him. He’s not big into “let’s go over our options.” He acts on things.

Max: Liz, thank you, you know, for looking out for us. But we have to go on with life as it was before this happened. And we have to be careful now. All of us. You, too.

Maria: Liz, I don’t think you should do this. OK? I mean, we don’t know what can happen. I mean, the guy touched you and you saw into his soul. How do we know what happens if he kisses you? How do we know what it is to be kissed by a Czechoslovakian? You don’t.

Maria: The Eraser room, huh? Liz, do you know what the 2nd floor eraser room means?
Liz: Of course I know what it means… What does it mean?
Maria: It’s where Greg Coleman gave Marlene Garcia that hickey the size of a softball. It’s where Richie Roher and Amanda Lourdes consummated everything…

Liz: So were you like green?
Max: Green?
Liz: Before you took human form, were you 3 feet tall and green and slimy? (laughs, embarrassed). You know, I’m very sorry for asking you that; it’s Maria’s question.
Max: No, we just always looked like this. Except for the, uh, third eye. (Max looks down at the ground as Liz casually looks over at him. Max then leans over as if to tie his shoelace and Liz leans forward staring at the back of Max’s head. Max peeks over and sees Liz looking at his head.) Kidding!
Liz: Yeah, I knew you were kidding. (Laughs and playfully shoves him.) You’re such a jerk!

Max: Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be so invisible.

Maria: Cramps. We have cramps, Alex.
Liz: Yeah, and we didn’t even want to talk about it in front of you because we thought it would make you feel really uncomfortable.
Maria: But if you want really want to know, we can tell you.
Liz: In really excruciating detail.
Alex: No! I’m eating. (He walks off.)

Kyle: Oh my God! Liz! Get up! Liz …

Liz: (whispers) We’re just, uh, waiting for Michael. We’re gonna go, uh …
Max: Bowl.
Kyle: Why are you whispering?
Liz: (whispers) We’re going bowling!

Isabel: You know the guy doesn’t know how to control his powers.
Max: I know.

Isabel: Sheriff, I have a flat tire, and I’m glad someone is here because I am so non-mechanical!

Valenti: Right. Where’s Max tonight?
Isabel: Oh. I have no idea. I’m just his sister, not his keeper.

Maria (to Liz): Go get your uniform on Madonna!

Michael: What did you see?
Isabel: Ricky Martin in the shower.

Michael: The thing I’ve realized is the fact that my life basically sucks is a good thing. It’s easier. We always have to be able to leave, pack a suitcase, go somewhere else. Maybe 10 years from now, maybe a week from now, maybe.