Karl:
so, Mr.. Gweerin--
Michael: Guerin.
Karl: It says here you've been
an emancipated minor
for the last 2 years.
Michael: Yeah.
Karl: A lot of responsibility
for someone your age.
You like
responsibility?
Michael: Yeah, sure. I like
to stay on top of things.
[Michael's memories of his recent "staying on top of things"]
Michael: I only got 4 notices!
How can you cut off
my power?
Michael: I'm a big believer
in self-discipline.
Michael: I'll take it. [Michael buying a TV]
Karl: What about school?
Aren't you worried
that a second job
might interfere
with your studies?
Michael: I think I can handle it.
Karl: Ok. Let's cut
to the chase, Guerin.
You already have
a job flipping burgers.
Why do you want
a second job?
Michael: Well, there are
many reasons.
Uh...
But I think
the primary one is...
[More memories of the last date with Maria]
Maria: Please don't tell me
that the words, "Maria, can you
pick up the check?"
Are going to come
floating out of your
mouth once again,
because if so,
I swear to god, Michael...
Michael: Financial.
Karl: I see.
Michael: And I guess
i sort of want to see
what it's like
out there in the world.
Karl: Congratulations.
You are now Meta-Chem pharmaceutical's
newest security guard.
Michael: When do I start?
Karl: Orientation's
tomorrow night.
Michael: I'm not going to be done
at the Crashdown until 10:00.
Is that too late?
Karl: We don't need you
till 0200.
Michael: 0-2...
That's 2 am.
Karl: That's right.
2 to 7 every night.
You're working
the graveyard. I'll see you then.
[Max reading from Liz's letter]
Liz: Dear max,
it's so horrible
and so unjust to pass you
in school and have to wonder
whether some teacher's going
to call my father.
But no matter how hard
my parents try,
nothing can keep us apart.
I love you, and even when I can't see you in the day,
I see you at night
in my dreams. And I have been. Dreaming about you. Over and over,
it's you and me holding hands
and flying
through the night.
I know it sounds cornball,
but it isn't.
It's amazing, like superman and Lois lane in the first movie.
You know, the good one.
[Liz sees Max looking in the window of the Crashdown, as her dad walks up]
Liz: He wasn't coming in.
Mr. Parker: Let's get back to work.
Liz: He wasn't coming in here.
He wasn't breaking the rules.
Mr. Parker: We'll talk about it
after your shift. OK?
Liz: This is so ridiculous.
You can't keep us
from seeing each other.
Mr. Parker: Oh, table 11's
waiting.
Liz:Ohh! Look at that.
[Kyle enters and slams the door]
Jim: Kyle?
Hey, son, how was work?
Kyle: It sucked as usual.
Toby has me rehabbing
brake pads again.
Hmm.
Kyle: "Your credit rating may be
adversely affected
by this action."
Well, it's nice of them
to let us know.
So how's
the job search going?
You got any prospects
for a full-time,
well-paying job
in your future?
Jim: Well, actually something
did sort of come up.
Kyle: You got a job?
Jim: Well, it's not
exactly a job.
It's a sort of a...
How do I describe this?
It's a business.
Kind of
a small business.
Kyle: This i like.
I like this.
Small business?
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Kyle: That sounds profitable.
Ok. Hit me.
Pitch me. Make me proud.
Jim: I think
i should pursue this
a little bit further.
I'll tell you about it
in a few days.
Kyle: Ok.
I can handle that.
I think.
[Inside Michael's apartment]
Maria: Michael, please.
Come out. You've been
in there an hour.
Michael: Go home. I will
see you tomorrow.
Maria: No. I want to see it.
Michael: Maria...
[Max walks in]
Maria: Hey, max.
Max: Oh, sorry. Bad time?
Is this some
deranged sex thing?
Michael: I got a job.
Max: Security guard?
Michael: Gotta start
somewhere.
What are you
doing here?
Max: Nothing. I just...
Michael: Maxwell,
it's the middle
of the night.
What's going on?
Max: Well, you heard about
my dad and i...
That I moved out?
Michael: yeah, you left
the loving parents,
the cushy home,
college fund.
Smart move.
Max: Yeah, I just...
Look, I need a place
to crash for a couple days,
until I figure
something else out.
Michael: So, how does
the Chevelle
figure into this?
Max: My car?
Michael: Do i get
driving privileges?
Max: Yes, Michael.
Michael: The couch is yours.
[Scene switches to a convenience store where Isabel and Jesse are meeting]
Isabel: Mr. Ramirez,
fancy meeting you here.
Jesse: Isabel...
Evans, isn't it?
Isabel: Mmm.
Jesse: Aren't you out late
for a school night?
Isabel: Well, I'm in college now.
Sometimes...
I'm out all night.
Jesse: I cannot believe
we're meeting in
a convenience store.
Isabel: My parents
never shop here.
Jesse: Why don't you just
tell them about us?
I mean,
eventually the smell
of microwave burritos
is going
to kill the mood.
Isabel: We will.
We will tell them.
We just have to
ease them into it
over a decade or two.
Jesse: Isabel, you're 18.
You're an adult.
Isabel: My parents can barely
get used to the idea
of me dating
high-school guys.
You're a 26-year-old
lawyer who works
for my father, who's...
Jesse: Who's Latino?
Isabel: You're Latino?
I thought you just
had a great tan.
Jesse: Ha, ha.
Isabel: Jesse, that is
totally not it.
Jesse: So, what is it?
Isabel: This is just
the worst time.
My parents
are all freaked out
about max moving out,
and I just think we need
more time before
anybody knows.
Isabel: Ok?
Jesse: Ok.
[Kyle comes around the corner and sees Isabel and Jesse kissing]
Kyle: Whoops!
Isabel: Kyle.
Isabel: Hi.
Kyle: Hi.
Jesse: Hi.
Kyle: My dad neglected
to stock the fridge,
and so i needed...
Isabel: Ho-hos, of course.
Kyle: Ho-ho.
Kyle: Bye.
Guard 1 (Monk): What are you
doing, man?
Michael: Watching a replay
of tonight's game.
Guard 2 (Fly): Hey, Chico,
you can't do that.
Can he do that?
Can I do that? ST>Aren't you supposed
to be checking
the motion sensor logs
for the anomalies?
Michael: Done. But here,
I'll check again.
Checked...
And rechecked.
Guard 3 (George): Hey, Chico, can I get
that on my screen, too?
Michael: Hold on. ST>Michael,
turn the game off, man.
That's not cool.
Michael: Ok, Steve, here's the thing.
This job sucks.
It's the most boring thing I've ever done in my life.
I don't know about you guys,
but I'm gonna do
what i can to improve
the work conditions.
That means this.
[Michael takes off his tie] ST>The company
has a very strict
dress code.
Michael: Yeah, but who's
going to enforce it?
Guard 1 (Monk): Suddenly,
I feel
very bad.
Michael: Now, i know you want
to take that off.
Come on. ST>Somehow...
I know I'm going
to regret this.
Michael: Yeah!
Guard 1- Monk: Score! Yeah!
[Michael enters with poker chips and cards]
Michael: Boys, I have come
bearing gifts.
Guard 1- Monk: What you got, man?
Oh, sweet, dude!
[Michael and the guys are shown messing around at work, playing cards,
watching TV, eating pizza, drinking Snapple and generally goofing off.]
[basketball bouncing down the hall]
Michael: door 52 secure, sir. ST>You've certainly
made the guys
a happier crew.
Fly was actually
on time tonight.
Michael: Just trying to make
things more interesting.
Door 53 secure.
Job still sucks. ST>Look, Michael,
I just don't
want this to get
out of control.
Some of us need
this job.
Michael: You take this job
way too seriously.
What's the worst
that could happen?
Guard 2 (Fly): Hey, Maria sounds like
a good girl.
You're all set.
You got a girl,
got a job.
Michael: Yeah. I just
need power back
in my apartment,
d I'll be living
the American dream.
Guard 2 (Fly): So, you gonna
marry her?
Michael: Maria?
Guard 1- George: Yeah.
Michael: I don't know about
marriage, Chico.
That's a little bit
down the line.
Guard 2 (Fly): Yeah.
Hey, mike.
Michael: Mm-hmm, yeah.
Guard 2 (Fly): I don't think you
should say, "Chico."
You really don't
pull it off.
Michael: Right. Yeah.
[Michael notices Karl on the monitors- he is coming towards the guard booth]
Michael: Red alert!
[Whispering]
Guard 1 (Monk): is this straight? ST>Good evening, sir.
Can I be
of some assistance?
Karl: It's come to my
attention that there
has been a serious
security breach
here at Meta-Chem. ST>What kind of breach?
Karl: Theft!
Someone broke
into the company
cafeteria
and made off with
a substantial amount
of peach Snapple.
Several cases,
in fact.
The food
service manager
seems to think
it's an inside job.
What do you think
we should do about
this, Mr.., Uh...
Guerin?
Michael: I think we should
get right on it, sir.
Where should we start?
[Karl finds a Snapple cap]
Karl: I think that the first
thing you should all do
is clean out
your lockers.
You're all fired.
[Michael and Maria are in Michael's apartment]
Michael: So somebody steals a case of Snapple,
and what do they do?
They blame the little guy.
They point the finger
at the people
at the bottom of the ladder,
the people who
are actually working
for a living.
Maria: You actually worked?
Michael: We screwed around a lot,
but let me tell you something,
nobody got in or out
of that plant
without us knowing
about it.
We had that place
wired tight! Meta-Chem was lucky
to have people
like us on duty.
[Maria opens the fridge and sees the Snapple]
Michael: Ok, so technically
i stole it,
but they didn't
know that.
Maria: Right.
Michael: Karl fired us
because he only thought one
of us
took it.
Maria: But you did take it.
Michael: That's not the point.
Maria: Ok, tell me
the point again.
Michael: That corporate America sucks.
Maria: All right.
So, I'm assuming I'm gonna have to keep
paying for dinner
and supplying
the kerosene to light
the apartment?
Michael: I'll get another job.
Maria: Uh-huh. Now, what
did other guys say
about this
happening?
Michael: What other guys?
Maria: Your coworkers,
skunk and flea.
Michael: Monk and fly.
Maria: Whatever. Did they
at least stick up
for you?
Michael: No. They were fired, too.
Maria: What?!
Michael: We all got fired.
Maria: Wait.
You got the whole
department fired?
Michael: Whose side are you on?
I didn't get everybody fired.
We all drank
of the Snapple.
Maria: Wait,
"drank of the Snapple."
When did we get on
biblical terrain here?
Michael: I'm not going
to take the blame
for this whole thing.
Maria: But it's your fault.
You acted
irresponsibly.
Now everyone's
unemployed.
Michael: I gotta get
some fresh air.
[Michael runs into Steve filling out an application in the minimart]
Michael: Steve.
Steve: Hey.
Michael: Sorry about what happened.
I didn't know Karl would blow a gasket
like that.
Steve: It's over. So...
Michael: You applying
for the clerk job?
Steve: Apparently.
Michael: Isn't it like half as much
as much as we were
making at Meta-Chem?
Steve: Gotta feed
the wife and kids.
Michael: Yeah, really.
That's an expression, right?
Feed the wife and kids?
Steve: Didn't you see
the picture
on my desk?
Cheryl? The kids?
Michael: Yeah. I guess,
but I thought
she was your girlfriend.
And I thought the kids
were your brother
and sister or your...
Your nephew.
Steve: I've gotta get over
to burger hut.
There's a job working
the drive-thru.
See you, mike.
Michael: Hey, Steve.
I'm sorry, man.
Steve: That doesn't help me, mike.
[Liz is serving some diners their food, and the alien painting on the wall starts waving- words come out of its mouth in a cartoon saying "I'm in the kitchen"]
Liz: Orbit rings?
Liz: Um...
Galaxy sub.
Liz: Um...
Asteroid salad.
Liz: Oh, uh...
Worf wrap.
Liz: Is everything good
here for you guys?
Liz: Good. That's great.
I'll be right back
with your drinks.
[Liz meets Max in the kitchen- they embrace]
Liz: Hi!
Max: God, i miss you.
Liz: This is so insane.
My dad's right outside.
Max: I know. I saw him.
Liz: I miss you so much.
Max: Listen. Friday.
Midnight.
I want you to meet me.
Dress warm.
Liz: Why?
Max: You'll see.
Liz: You have to go.
Come on.
Max: Yeah.
Mr. Parker: Liz?
Liz: Come on!
Max: Midnight. Friday.
Liz: Ok!
[Max runs out the door]
Mr. Parker: Liz!
Liz: Yeah?
Mr. Parker: Where'd you go?
Liz: Uh, nowhere.
I was just
taking out the trash.
[Ding]
Liz: that must be mine.
[Kyle is sitting at the counter eating and Isabel comes up]
Kyle: Hey.
Isabel: Hello.
You're probably
wondering what you saw
in the convenience store
the other day.
Kyle: Nah. A stone unobserved
is a stone--
Isabel: is this Buddhist?
Kyle: Yes.
Isabel: Could you not?
Kyle: 'K.
Isabel: Thank you.
His name
is Jesse Ramirez.
He's my boyfriend.
Kyle: Correct me if I'm wrong,
but haven't I seen that guy
leaving
your father's office?
Isabel: Yeah. He works
for my father.
Kyle: As an assistant?
[Laughs]
Isabel: as a lawyer.
Kyle: So he's, like, 22, 23?
Isabel: 26.
Kyle: 26?!
That's a problem.
Kyle: Well, uh...
Just out of curiosity, have you...
Kyle: Have you...Told Jesse about your
secret identity?
Isabel: No.
Isabel: No. Max and Michael would never agree
to letting anybody else
in on the secret.
I guess the truth
of the matter is
i sort of love Jesse not knowing.
It's...Like we're
this normal couple.
Kyle: Nothing's ever easy,
is it?
Isabel: Nope.
But, hey,
I'm actually glad
that you found out.
It's kind of nice
to talk about it.
Kyle: No Problem
Isabel: And Kyle....if you tell anybody, I'll be forced to use my
formidable alien powers on you
Kyle: Cool. Cool.
My day's never
truly complete
until my life's
been threatened
by an alien, so...
Isabel: No problem. Ok, bye.
[Chuckles]
Kyle: wait, wait, wait.
Um...
Good for you.
I mean, max has Liz,
and Michael has Maria,
and you never really
had that, so...
Good for you.
Isabel: Thanks, Kyle.
[Max and Michael are staring at the Snapple]
Max: So you're gonna
return the Snapple?
Michael: Yeah.
Max: You think that's
gonna get you
your job back?
Michael: You got
a better idea?
Max: Why don't you just
go get more hours
at the Crashdown?
Michael: Because that's not
what it's about, max.
It's about
the principle of it.
Max: You stole the Snapple, Michael.
How could it be
about principle?
Michael: Because it's not fair
to ruin one person's life
over a few bottles
of Snapple.
Max: And this is
ruining your life?
Michael: Not mine.
This guy at work, Steve he's a killjoy,
and he got fired
along with the rest of us.
Turns out he's got
a wife and kids.
Max: I see.
Michael: Which isn't my fault.
I mean, why should i
worry about it?
If he takes it upon himself
to marry someone
and then knock her up
before he's got
a decent job,
how is that my problem?
Max: It isn't.
Michael: So why do I feel
like this?
Max: Like what?
[Sighs]
Michael: I don't know.
Max: Like you care?
Michael: Yeah.
It's weird.
See, there's you
and Isabel,
and you guys
are like family.
And then there's Maria, and she's...
Ah, she's Maria.
And besides that,
I've never had
this feeling.
But these guys...
Michael: It's cool.
We can hang,
and we talk,
and we laugh, and it's like, uh... They're...
Max: Friends.
Michael: Something like that.
Michael: Anyways, i gotta go.
Max: Wait. Uh...
You're gonna
return them now?
Michael: Yeah.
I'm gonna break in
and put
the Snapple back
behind the fridge.
Max: Oh. And then what?
Michael: Then I'm gonna call 'em,
and I'm gonna tip 'em off.
Anonymously.
And when they realize that nobody stole the Snapple and it was all just
a big misunderstanding,
they have no choice
but to give our jobs back.
Max: Michael, what
you're about to do
is not a plan.
It's not an idea.
It's something
you think about
in your mind,
and then you come up
with something...
Better.
Michael: Yeah. I don't have
anything better.
[Michael uses his powers to break into the lab- while putting the Snapple back, he
watches Karl take something out of a vault and pass it to a guard]
Michael: Karl's a thief.
[Jim comes home and Kyle is waiting up like a parent]
Kyle: Where were you?
Jim: I was out. Just out.
Kyle:.
Have you
been drinking?
Jim: No.
Well, a couple beers.
Kyle: That's terrific, dad.
That's part of your
new business plan?
Jim: Actually...It is.
Listen, uh...
I want you to keep
an open mind
about this.
The, uh...
I know it's not
exactly what you
maybe had in mind... ok, but I'm telling you, this is something I really believe
in.
Jim: Our first performance
is tomorrow night.
Be great
if you were there.
Kyle: [reading] "The country stylings
of Jim Valenti and the kit-shickers."
Kyle: Ha ha ha.
How much
does this pay?
Jim: Oh, not very much
at first,
but see, we get
a percent of the door,
but it's gonna
take us a little while
to build up an audience.
Kyle: Right. Right.
Build up an audience.
What are you thinking?
This is your big
business plan? This is it?
I've been working
my ass off every day
at a job i hate,
and this
is your big idea.
Dad, we're behind
on the mortgage,
but I'm sure
the mortgage company
will calm down
once they realize that all you gotta do
is build up an audience.
Have you even
looked at those bills?
Jim: Kyle, I'm sorry.
Kyle: Dad, don't apologize.
That's not even
what i want.
I know that when
you lost your job
as sheriff, that...
It...
Really screwed
with your head,
and I have
a lot of sympathy
for that. I do.
But...[Sighs]
I'm not--I'm not
the parent here.
And I can't keep
our heads above water
much longer.
So...
All I'm saying
is that...
You know
what I'm saying.
Good night, dad.
[Michael is talking to the guards]
Guard 2 (Fly): How's he getting
away with it?
Every square inch
of the place is
being taped 24-7.
Guard 3 (George): Think, little man. Karl's got the master
security card,
so he can turn the cameras
on and off whenever
he feels like it.
Guard 1 (Monk): What do you think
he was stealing?
Michael: I didn't get
a good look at it,
but they do all kinds
of genetic research
in that lab.
Guard 1- Monk: I bet it was
the cancer vaccine.
All the big
corporations
have one
just sitting
on the shelf
doing nothing.
They don't put it
on the market,
'cause there's
too much money in cancer
treatment, you know?
Same thing with aids,
tuberculosis,
legionnaires' disease,
measles, scabies.
Guard 1- George: Monk,
are you wasted, man?
Guard 1- Monk: No. Maybe.
Leave me alone.
You don't know
what it's like
workin' at burger hut.
Fries, no fries,
extra ketchup,
no ketchup.
I need an escape.
Michael: It doesn't matter
what's in the vial.
What matters is that Meta-Chem's head
of security is stealing
from the company.
We expose him,
show the company
that the man who fired us
is the actual thief,
and we got a chance
of getting our jobs back.
Guard 1- Monk: How do we get
the goods on Karl?
Michael: We catch him in the act.
Guard 2 (Fly): What, break in?
Michael:
Yeah.
Guard 3 (George): No, see, that sounds
a bit too risky
for a black man.
Guard 1 (Monk): What does Steve say?
Michael: He didn't return
my phone calls.
Guard 1 (Monk): Well, you guys do
what you want, but you
can count me out.
Guard 3 (George): I'm with monk.
Guard 2 (Fly): Me, too,
Chico.
Michael: Do you guys know
why we were fired?
Guard 2 (Fly): Yeah. Cause you took the Snapple dude.
Michael: No,
who fires
an entire shift
over Snapple?
Nobody.
Michael: Karl needed to fire
an entire security shift
so he could steal
whatever it is he's
stealing from the company.
We were easy targets.
That's why we were fired. Karl made us out
to look like
incompetent fools,
and that's
what the world's
gonna think of us
if we don't do
something about it.
Used to be i didn't
care about that.
Turns out I do.
So, yeah, we stole
the Snapple.
But you know what?
We did our jobs well.
And that's why i say
we have no choice here
but to screw Karl.
Guard 2 (Fly): All right.
I'm with you.
Let's screw Karl.
Guard 3 (George): I'm there.
Guard 1 (Monk): Screw
Karl, man.
Guard 3 (George): So...
What's the plan?
[The guards break in, and Michael climbs into an air shaft, as the plan is
voiced over the action]
Michael: Ever since
he fired us, Karl's been working
the nights all alone.
The longer he delays
hiring a new crew,
the more freedom he has.
But the truth is,
one man can't watch
everything.
The trick will be
to make him think
everything's right on schedule,
that nothing has changed...
When in reality
everything has changed.
He's not alone tonight.
Tonight he's got the entire
graveyard shift to deal with.
[Michael uses a remote camera to film Karl stealing]
Guard 1 (Monk): Got the shot.
[the VCR eats the tape]
Guard 2 (Fly): Problem, dude.
Guard 1 (Monk): Well, hurry up
and fix it, man.
[Ring]
[phone rings]
Guard 1 (Monk): hello?
Sheriff: This is the Sheriff Hanson..
We received a signal
that the security system
had been tampered with.
Guard 1- Monk: Nope. Everything's
ok here.
Sheriff: What's the password
today?
Guard 1- Monk: Password?
[Creaking in the ceiling as Karl looks up- Michael falls thru]
Michael: hey, Karl.
Karl: Gweerin, what the hell
are you doing?
Michael: It's Guerin. I just
thought I'd drop in.
Karl: You know, I wonder
if the police are gonna
think you're so funny.
Michael: Go ahead and call 'em.
I have a nice videotape
to show 'em.
Karl: What are you
talking about?
Michael: I got you breaking
into the lab,
stealing a sample,
and passing it off
to the janitors.
Karl: Well, that's too bad.
If you had said it was
gonna be your word
against mine,
I could have just
thrown cuffs on you
and called the cops,
but I guess it's not
gonna be that simple.
[Karl takes out his gun and points it at Michael]
Karl: Where is that videotape?
Michael: You got to think about
what you're doing, Karl.
Karl: I know exactly
what I'm doing.
I'm confronting an intruder
in the middle of the night.
And fearing for my own
safety and believing
the intruder to be armed,
I drew my weapon,
and I was forced
to shoot him.
Michael: I'm not alone, you know.
I got help.
Karl: I don't think so.
I think you are here alone,
and I think you're
gonna tell me where
that videotape is right w!
Michael: Ok, ok, ok!
I'll tell you.
Ok, the tape...
The tape...
Is in...
[Michael uses his power to pull down more of the ceiling- it falls on them
and Karl drops the gun, but gets it back]
Sheriff: Now, what i want you
to do right now
is put the gun down
nice and slow.
Sheriff: Good.
Now,
we're all gonna take
a trip down to the station.
Michael: Before we do that,
there's a videotape
you should see.
[Everyone is in the control room, and the tape is out of its case and messed up]
Sheriff: Well, boys, if this
is all you got,
it ain't much.
Michael: Let me take a look
at that.
[Michael uses his powers to rewind and fix the tape]
Karl: These clowns
are disgruntled
former employees
who broke in
and stole company
property.
Michael: Uh, you know what? I think I got it.
Guard 2 (Fly): Hey, how'd you
do that?
Michael: I used to work
in a video store.
Karl: I'm not gonna
say anything
without an attorney.
Michael: Don't worry, Karl.
We'll let management
know what happened.
[Guys laugh]
Sheriff: I'm gonna need statements
from all you guys,
but we shouldn't
leave this plant
unguarded all night.
Michael: No problem. We'll finish
our shift, come down
to the station.
Sheriff: Fine. See you
in the morning.
Sheriff: [Arresting Karl] You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say
can and will be used
against you...
Guards congratulate Michael- Yeah!
Yeah!
Good work, huh?
Good work.
Good work.
[Scene switches to Max and Liz on a high wall]
Liz: So...What is this?
No!
Max, no!
Max: Trust me.
Trust me.
Don't you want someone
who can make all
your dreams come true?
Liz: Yeah, I guess I do.
Max: Then come on, Lois.
Let's go.
[Max lifts himself and Liz onto a hang glider, and uses his power to push
them off- they fly away]
[Band tunes up]
Jim: good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Jim Valenti,
and we are
the kit-shickers.
Waitress: Are you 21?
Kyle: Does it matter
in here?
Waitress: All that matters
in here is paying rent
on that bar stool.
Kyle: Just--just give me
a coke.
[Mic feedback]
Kyle: I may need that beer
after all.
Jim: 2...1.
[Music starts- back up singers sing with Jim]
if I had
a million dollars- if I had
a million dollars
i'd buy you
a house - i would buy you
a house
- and if I had
a million dollars
- if I had
a million dollars
- i'd buy you furniture
for your house
- maybe a nice chesterfield
or an ottoman
- and if I had
a million dollars
- if I had
a million dollars
- i'd buy you a k-car
- a nice, reliant
automobile
- and if I had
a million dollars
both: I'd buy your love
- if I had
a million dollars
- i'd build a tree
fort in our yard
- if I had a million dollars
- you could help,
it wouldn't be that hard
- if I had a million dollars
- maybe we could put
a tiny, little 'frigerator
in there...
[the crowd starts getting into the music as Kyle looks around- he starts
clapping with the music-Sound fades away and Kyle is happy]
[Scene switches to Max and Liz coming home- Liz laughs]
Max: Shh, shh, shh!
Shh!
Liz: That was just amazing,
you know?
That was so amazing!
Max: Well, you did
say that, like...
A dozen times.
Liz: Well, did I say it
like this?
Or, uh...
That? Or, you know...
I'm sure
i didn't say this.
[Liz kisses Max]
Max: Well, you do have
a way with words.
Liz: Oh.
I'd invite you
to come upstairs, but...
Max: But if your dad
caught us...
Liz: Yeah.
Mm-mmm.
Mm.
Liz: Good night.
Max: Good night.
[Mr. Parker is sitting in the dark half of the room]
Mr. Parker: Did you have fun?
Where you been?
I'm asking you man to man
where you took my daughter
in the middle of the night.
Be man enough
to answer me.
Max: We went to the desert.
We didn't do
anything wrong.
Mr. Parker: It was wrong for you
to see her at all.
You know that.
Max: I'm sorry.
I love her.
Mr. Parker: I don't give a damn
about your love.
Because of you,
my daughter was arrested
for armed robbery. She could've been killed.
Did you ever think
about that?
Tell me you're
not dangerous, max.
Tell me that being with you
doesn't put my little girl's
life in jeopardy.
Yeah. That's what
i thought.
So now this is gonna stop.
It's gonna stop
right now,
and you are never
to see Liz again.
And if you do...
If i find out
that you so much as
sat next to her in class,
she'll be on the next
plane to Vermont.
Max: Vermont?
Mr. Parker: The Winnaman academy.
It's an all-girls
boarding school,
and her mother and i
filled out all the paperwork, and the application
was accepted.
So all I've got to do
is write a check
and put Liz on the next plane.
Max: You would do that?
You would do that
just--
Mr. Parker: just to keep her
away from you.
Yes, i would.
And I will.
Good-bye, max.
[Doorbell rings- Michael hands Steve his badge]
Michael: got your job back.
Steve: What?
Michael: Yeah, we broke into Meta-Chem,
and we nailed Karl for stealin' stuff.
He's in jail.
Steve: Wait, slow down.
You broke in?
Michael: Yeah. Found out
he was a crook,
and we nailed him
for it--not just me.
Everyone.
George, monk, fly.
Steve: You could have
gotten arrested.
Why'd you do that?
Michael: I don't know.
I figured it's
my first real job,
I'm starting my life,
and...
You know, I don't
want to start off
on the wrong foot.
Steve: I'm not sure whether
to say thank you
or tell you
you're a real idiot
for doing something
so risky.
Michael: Say thank you.
Steve: Thank you, Michael.
This means a lot
to me
and, uh, you know...
To my family.
Michael: No problem.
Steve: Hey, listen, um...
Maybe we can hang
sometime,
you know, after work.
Michael: Sure.
Steve: You're a crazy bastard. You know that?
Michael: Welcome to my world.
Writer: Ronald D. Moore
Karl: Okay. Let's cut to the chase, Guerin. You already have a job flipping burgers. Why do you want a second job?