Liz Parker is walking home just after having walked in on Max and Tess. Thank God Max hadn't seen her! She had never been in so much pain in her life. The only thing that could make this worse would be having to endure Max's pity. She had to get a way for a while. She just had to get some perspective. She practically runs to her room and tears off her clothes, changing into black jeans and a black t-shirt. She did not want to call any attention to herself. She just wanted to disappear, literally. Since that wasn't possible, she'd have to settle for disappearing from Roswell. She empties her backpack completely and repacks it with just the necessities.

A couple of changes of clothes and some soap and a toothbrush, etc. She has no idea where she's going to go, but she knows she just can't stay here anymore. She takes out a couple of sheets of paper and writes 2 letters. One for Maria and one for her parents. It's a good thing that her Mom and Dad were out of town or she'd never be able to get away. She leaves the letters on her bed and takes one last look around to be sure she hasn't forgotten anything important. She grabbed all the cash she had saved, and made her way out of her window and onto the roof. She stands there for just a minute remembering all the moments she had shared with Max on this roof. The pain was growing now that the initial shock was wearing off. How would she ever learn to live without him?

BUS STATION - JUST OUTSIDE OF TOWN

It had been a quick trip to the bus station and now she just had to decide where to go and wait for the bus. She locked up her Mom's car, leaving the keys inside since she didn't know when she would be back. She kept only one key. The one to the front door of the Crashdown. She hung it on a chain around her neck and dropped it underneath her t-shirt.

It was only 3 a.m. It would probably be several more hours before any buses would be running. She stood beside the car with her backpack slung over her shoulder and wondered what to do now. She glanced up and saw someone walking towards her from across the street. She was so scared she couldn't even move, but there was something familiar about this man . . .

Meanwhile, Max is in his bedroom desperately trying to nail down where this anxiety was coming from. Ever since he kissed Tess he had been slammed with a feeling of despair that was so great he almost couldn't breathe around it. He couldn't even believe he had actually kissed that little witch. What in the world had she done to him? It never occurred to him that these feelings could be linked to Liz, because he had no idea that she had seen him kissing Tess. He can't sleep at all and ends up spending the rest of the night tossing and turning and waiting for morning when he can find Liz at school and put his life back in place and his arms around the girl he has loved since childhood. Tomorrow he would put the past several weeks and Tess behind him.

Michael and Maria have been asleep for hours in her room, where Michael had come in through her window. This was becoming a habit with the two of them. It was getting so they couldn't sleep properly without each other. It didn't matter that sleeping was all they did. They just needed to be together. They tried very hard to keep passion out of the bedroom and confined to places like the eraser room in an effort to keep from going too far. It was getting darn difficult to hold on to this ideal however. Michael feels Maria stirring beside him and wakes up to hear her whimpering in her sleep. He wakes her up as gently as he can, and she turns into his embrace and sobs like her heart is breaking. He has no idea what this is about, but he knows she will tell him when she's ready. Eventually, Maria calms down and tells Michael that she really doesn't know what's wrong exactly, but that she just has a feeling that something awful is happening. He holds her and kisses her tenderly and they go back to sleep.

BUS STATION -

The man's slow but steady progress toward her helped Liz to relax a little. He wasn't charging at her or anything like that. He was just moving toward her with an inevitable motion that helped her to accept his presence. As he came closer, Liz realized who it was, and stared at him in utter disbelief. The man holds out his hand to her.

River Dog: "Child, where are you going?"

Liz: (slowly taking the extended hand) "I . . . don't know."

River Dog: (taking in the shattered look on her face) "Let me help you. Come with me."

Liz realizes that this is where she's supposed to be after all and goes with him as silently as he approached her)

SCHOOL - NEXT DAY

Maria is trying over and over to call Liz who hasn't returned a single one of her messages and isn't at school. Liz's folks are gone until tomorrow. Frustrated, she gives up and goes to find Alex. She asks him if he's seen Liz and tells him that she's very worried. He suggests asking Max if he knows what's wrong. Maria and Alex head out to the picnic tables since it's lunch time and have no trouble finding Max and Isabel and Michael sitting together.

Maria: "Have any of you seen Liz today?" (Michael is reeling from the barely concealed hostility radiating from Maria)

Isabel: "I haven't." "Max?"

Max: "No. She wasn't in class. I was wondering where she is."

Michael: "What's wrong with you, Maria?"

Maria: "What's wrong with me? Oh nothing I guess! It's just that for the first time since 3rd grade my best friend won't pick up the phone and talk to me. For the first time in her whole life she's not at school. Add to that the weird dream I had last night, and you figure it out." "Do you have any light to shed on this Max?"

Max: "Me? No. Why would I?"

Maria: "Because I don't think your little "thing" with Tess went unnoticed by Liz. She's been acting strange for the past two weeks and now all of a sudden, she's just gone."

Max: (very uneasy) "I told Liz that Tess was nothing to me . . ."

Maria: "I know what you told her. The problem is that Liz isn't blind and for some peculiar reason she seems to be able to pick up on your emotions. Trust me, she knew something was wrong."

Max: "What did she say?"

Maria: "Enough."

Isabel: "Don't you think you are overreacting a little?" "Maybe she's just not feeling well . . ."

Maria: "I don't think so." "I just have this really horrible feeling . . ."

Michael: "Why don't we go over and see and stop guessing at this." "It's just making you crazy."

Maria: "I think I should go alone. If she is sick, she won't appreciate an audience." "I'll meet you later."

LIZ'S ROOM --

Maria lets herself in and makes her way to Liz's room and immediately sees the letters on the bed. She's shaking so badly she almost can't pick them up. She doesn't really have to read it to know what it says, but she forces herself to concentrate. She opens the letter and scans it quickly and sinks down on the bed too numb to even cry. How could this have happened? How could Liz just leave like this without even saying goodbye. Of course, the answer to that was clear. She explained about Tess and not being able to cope with the whole thing. Maria could actually understand where Liz was coming from. Ever since the day when Max had healed her she had been completely consumed by him. One could even say she was obsessed, but that wasn't even the right word. Maria gets up slowly and takes both letters with her. She'll have to go back to school and find Alex and tell him that their best friend was gone and she didn't know when she'd be back.

SCHOOL -

Maria walks down the hall oblivious to everything and everyone around her. She has a single destination and that's all she can think about right now. She had to hold it together long enough to tell Alex and then she could fall apart. She sees him at his locker and keeps walking steadily toward him. She can't hear anything except her own heart beating. She comes up behind Alex and just stands there waiting for him to turn around. He does. He looks at Maria's face and knows that something's really wrong. She can't even get the words out before the tidal wave of emotion that she's been holding back engulfs her. Alex holds her while she sobs brokenly , and she hands him Liz's letter. Alex reads it quickly and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. They just stand there taking in the loss and trying to come to terms with the shock. Finally, Alex leads Maria over to the lounge and she sits down to rest. He goes to get them something to drink and a couple of wet paper towels. He sits down beside Maria and just lets her cry. Finally, school's out and he pulls her up to walk outside to his car. They walk out to the parking lot, but about halfway to the car, Maria grabs Alex's arm and sags against him. He picks her up and carries her the rest of the way. He sets her down gently in the front seat, and goes around quietly to the driver's side. Maria is crying so hard, he has no idea what to do for her. Max and Michael and Isabel walk out just in time to see them pulling out of the parking lot. They look at each other and know that something is very wrong. Isabel puts her arm around Max.

At school the next day, Alex and Maria and Liz are all missing. Max and Isabel and Michael head for the crashdown. Michael waited for Maria all night at her house but she never came home.

At the Crashdown --

Liz's parents are still not back. They will be home anytime now. Alex and Maria are sitting together in a booth. Neither has had anything to say. Max, Isabel, and MIchael come in and sit down with them in the booth. No one says a word. Maria looks at Alex in question, and he nods his agreement. She hands Max Liz's letter. He reads it, and for a moment, Maria feels so sorry for him that she forgets how bad she's hurting herself. He gets up and leaves without a word. Isabel follows Max immediately. Michael looks at Maria's tortured expression and feels his heart aching for her. He pulls her toward him and kisses her gently on the forehead and tells her he'll see her at her house later if she wants. She nods her agreement and he leaves to find Max and Isabel.

One Week Later -

The Crashdown is still closed. Liz has called home once to tell her parents that she's alright, but that she's not coming home anytime soon. They are broken-hearted but keeping the faith that she'll change her mind and return quickly.

One Month Later -

Maria is busy working tonight. It's Friday, but it never felt like it anymore. Alex was at his post keeping watch over Maria, who is still suffering with the loss of her best friend. For that matter, Alex felt pretty damned depressed, too. Maria hadn't smiled or laughed in the entire past month that he was aware of. He glances over at Max and Isabel and Michael. They look suitably uncomfortable and solemn. In fact, Max looked downright awful. They had their own problems he figured. As far as he knew, Liz had spoken to no one except her parents and that was extremely brief. He wondered if life would ever feel normal again . . .

EVERY MOMENT MARKED WITH APPARITIONS
OF YOUR SOUL . . .
I'M EVER SWIFTLY MOVING, TRYING TO
ESCAPE THIS DESIRE . . .
THE YEARNING TO BE NEAR YOU . . .
I DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO . . .

6 MONTHS LATER -- AUGUST

Maria finishes her shift at the Crashdown and is cleaning up to go home. She's so tired, but she can't even really feel it anymore. Her Mom had gone to the doctor last week for a routine physical and wound up in the hospital for "tests." So far, nothing conclusive had been determined, but Maria could tell looking at her Mom that she wasn't well. It was all she could do to get through her shift tonight, but she absolutely had to keep working. There was no other means of financial support. Michael and Alex had been there for her every step of the way this past week. Her Mom had just gone to the hospital as an in-patient yesterday morning.

Maria had never felt so alone in her life. She looks up from her task to see Michael coming in the front door, followed closely by Alex and Max and Isabel. Their relationships had been strained to say the least over the past six months, but everyone was hurting too much to fight about it.

Michael: "How's your Mom doing?" (walks up and kisses her sweetly)

Maria: (looks up at him sadly) "I don't really know . . ."

Michael: (hugs her) "Don't worry, baby."

Maria returns the embrace without speaking.

Max: "Maria, we just want you to know that we're here if we can help you."

Maria: "Thanks. I appreciate it." (makes eye contact with Max and they are completely aware of the depth of each other's suffering.)

Isabel: "I don't suppose you've heard from Liz . . . "

Maria: "No. I haven't . . . unless, Alex?"

Alex: "No. Not a word, Maria." "I'm sorry."

Maria: "Yeah, well, me too. I don't know why I just keep expecting her to walk through that door any minute . . ."

They all turn to stare at the front door as they hear it opening. For a moment, they are all paralyzed. No one even speaks. After all this time, she's finally home. Liz. It is Liz . . . isn't it? She looks so different. Her hair is so much longer and she's so . . . mature looking. She looks at the group of people she has missed so desperately, and wonders if they even want to see her now. It's been so long. She looks at Max taking in every detail of his face and memorizing it for later when she can be alone. She makes herself look away from him and the intensity of his gaze, and seeks out the reason for her return. Maria. Maria needed her now and she couldn't possibly stay away and let her go through this alone. She walks hesitantly towards Maria, and stops in front of her, waiting for something . . . any reaction at all. Maria releases Michael and reaches out to grab hold of this ghost before she disappears again.

Maria: (sobbing) "Liz . . . where have you been?" (hugging Liz tightly)

Liz: (closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and then another one before answering) "I've been close by. I heard about your Mom and came as soon as I could get away." "How is she?"

Maria: (struggling to regain her composure) "I don't know . . . how did you know about my Mom?" (terribly confused at this point) (they walk over and sit down in a booth followed closely by everyone else.)

Liz: "It's a very long story and I don't think you want to hear it right now. Tell me about your Mom."

Maria: "There's nothing much to tell yet." "They don't know what's wrong with her." "They're just running a lot of tests." "Oh, Liz." "I can't believe you're really here."

Michael: (sarcastic) "Nice of you to grace us with your presence."

Liz just stares at him for a moment with such regret that he immediately wishes he could take back his harsh words. She completely understands his anger, of course. He loved Maria and would be angry with anyone who caused her pain . . . even if it was her best friend.

Liz: (turning her attention back to Maria) "I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner." (eyes filling with tears she quickly gets control of)

Maria notices all this ultra-control on Liz's part and feels a sadness she can't even put into words.

Maria: "Liz, what has happened to you . . . ?"

Liz looking very uncomfortable with this topic changes it.

Liz: "I'll tell you everything later, but first I need to speak to my parents. After that, I'm all yours. Whatever you need, I'll be here for you."

Maria: (sensing something isn't quite right) "For how long?"

Liz: (obviously not wanting to answer this) "For as long as you need me."

Maria: "I always need you, Liz." "Not just now with my Mom, but all the time." "Don't go away again, please." "You are home to stay, aren't you?"

Liz: (so sad) "Maria, it's . . . complicated." (glances around the group) "We'll talk in a little while and I'll explain everything." (gets up to go see her parents)

Maria stares after her and whispers, "Who was that?" Michael and Alex and Isabel are staring, too, in shock. Max doesn't know how yet, but he's determined to break through that icy control and see if the girl he has always loved is still there . . . somewhere.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Liz's parents are so happy to see her. They keep her tied up for quite a while finding out where she's been and how she's been doing. They don't want to let her out of their sight, but they soon realize that their daughter is very much grown up. They are just relieved that she's safe and healthy and most importantly . . . home. Liz doesn't burden them with the details of the nature of her return. If and when she left again, she would deal with it then. Liz makes her way back downstairs only to find that everyone is gone . . . or so she thinks. She walks into the back room and leans her head against the soda machine. She drops some change into the machine and waits for the soda to come tumbling down. Without moving her head away from the coolness emanating from the icy compartment she reaches down for the soda and opens it. Turning around slowly she props one shoe heel in the slot where the drink emerged from and leans back against the machine, resting her whole back and neck against the soothing coolness. She's physically and emotinally spent. Maybe the caffeine . . . She brings the drink to her lips and opens her eyes to see Max standing right in front of her. She's so startled that she almost (almost being the key word) squeaks in surprise and struggles to hang on to the drink. Quickly regaining from the small slip in her control, she looks at Max questioningly but doesn't say a word. None of this is lost on Max. He had been trying to startle her and shake her out of this aloofness that was so disturbing because it was so unlike her. He had watched her the whole time she was getting a drink. She was still so beautiful . . . even more so if that were possible. He wanted her with an intensity that stunned him. He struggled to control his emotions and studied her face quietly. Liz is very uncomfortable with his inspection . . . he was getting too close. Her control was a fragile thing and she didn't want to test it too strenuously this soon.

Max: "The others went on to the hospital to see about Maria's Mom. I said I would wait and give you a ride over when you were finished with your parents."

Liz: (thinking that she really wasn't ready to be alone with Max yet) "Oh. Thank you . . . for waiting."

Max: "We should probably go. It's getting kinda late."

Liz: (staring at him and then catching herself looks down at the drink in her hand instead) "O.k. I'm ready now. Let's go." (They walk out and get into the jeep.)

WHAT RAVAGES OF SPIRIT CONJURED
THIS TEMPTUOUS RAGE . . .
CREATED YOU A MONSTER, BROKEN BY
THE RULES OF LOVE,
AND FATE HAS LED YOU THROUGH IT,
YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO . . .

They make the trip to the hospital in silence. Not exactly a comfortable silence. More like an "I don't have a foggy idea what to say" silence. Liz and Max are both grateful when they arrive at the hospital and can get out of the jeep. They walk in together and Liz walks away from him to go in search of Maria. Max can see that she's walking but he would swear that she's running on the inside and just doing a very good job of hiding it. He goes to sit down in the waiting room with Alex and Michael and Isabel.

IN AMY DELUCA'S HOSPITAL ROOM

Liz opens the door and walks into the room. Maria is sitting and holding her Mom's hand. Amy is sleeping and Liz can see that Maria's been crying.

Liz feels the beginning of a tear in the cloak of control she's surrounded herself with. Not only did she love Maria to distraction, but Mrs. Deluca had always been there and Liz loved her, too.

Liz: "I'm sorry it took me so long." (sits down on the other side of the bed)

Maria: "It's o.k. I knew you'd be a while with your folks." (searching Liz's face for some semblance of the person she had known and loved)

Liz: "I'm sorry I've been gone so long. I know this isn't the time to discuss it, and you have a lot on your mind, but I just want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you."

Maria: "I know you didn't, but I can't lie and tell you that it didn't hurt." "I have missed you so much and now you're here but . . . it's like you're not really here."

Liz: "I have missed you, too. I cried myself to sleep everynight for the first three months I was gone." "Finally, I just couldn't cry anymore . . ."

Maria: (seeing a glimpse of the old Liz reaches out her other hand) "Aren't you even going to tell me where you've been?"

Liz: (overwhelmed and so grateful , reaches out to hold Maria's hand) "I've been living on the reservation. I work in a lot of different capacities, sometimes at the school and sometimes at the hospital, always with kids, though. That's how I support myself. The night I was leaving, I made it to the bus stop and didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. River Dog walked up to me outside the bus station and took me back with him. He told me later that he'd dreamed about me and knew exactly where to find me."

Maria: "I dreamed about you that night, too, only I didn't know then that it was about you." "I'm sorry I couldn't help you, Liz."

Liz: "Don't . . . please. There wasn't anything you or anyone else could've done for me, Maria. I had to get away and get some balance back in my life. I felt like I was drowning here."

Maria gives her hand a squeeze and for the first time in 6 months she smiled. Liz smiled, too.

Liz: "I love you you know."

Maria: "I know. I love you, too." She tucks the blankets in around her mom and then stills and looks at Liz intently.

Maria: "Aren't you even going to ask about him or did you keep tabs on all of us?"

Liz: (confused as to Maria's meaning) "Ask about who . . . oh, I see . . . no, I don't know anything about anyone at all. River Dog wouldn't let me, but I made him promise to tell me if there was ever anyone in trouble or hurt."

Maria: "So, you have no idea what's happening in any of our lives, except about my Mom."

Liz: "That's about the size of it."

Maria: "Well, it sounds like we've got some serious catching up to do." (smiling again)

Liz: "Yeah . . . I guess we do." (smiling, too)

Maria: "You know she's gone right?"

Liz: "I assume you mean Tess."

Maria: (rolls her eyes) "Of course, Tess."

Liz: "Oh." "Well . . ."

Maria: "She left the day after you did."

Liz: "Really. That's . . . strange." (trying to assimilate what that might mean)

Maria: "Max has been a mess since you left, Liz."

Liz: "He looks fine to me."

Maria: "Trust me. He's not."

Liz: "Maria, he's the one who wanted someone else . . ."

Maria: "I'm not so sure he did, Liz. I don't know all the details, but Tess was weird. I get the feeling from what Isabel has said that she was a little paranormal."

Liz: "Well, that makes two of us."

Maria: "What?"

Liz: "While I've been gone, I've discovered that my visions aren't confined to just Max." "Apparently, I have a little supernatural physiology myself."

Maria: "Wow. " (just stares at Liz and then brightens) "So, what exactly can you do?" (mischievious)

Liz (laughing): "Don't get excited . . . nothing that could make us rich or make anyone fall in love with us."

Maria: "Well that covers the two most important things in life . . . darn it." (laughing, too) (serious again) "What are you going to do about him, Liz?"

Liz: "I don't know that there's anything to do . . . we'll just have to wait and see."

IN THE WAITING ROOM

Max and the others have been discussing Liz's return and the mysterious nature of her attitude. They are all perplexed and really unsure of how they even feel toward her. They love her, of course, but forgiveness is a difficult issue when there has been so much pain involved.

Michael: "Well, what did she have to say for herself?"

Max: "She didn't say anything about it at all. Take it easy on her, Michael."

Michael: "Why?" "Did she make it easy on us or did she say the hell with us and run off?"

Max: "If she did, she had to."

Isabel: "Max you have to stop blaming yourself. You didn't make her run away."

Max: "You can't say I didn't have an awful lot to do with it, Is.

Isabel: "O.k. Maybe you did have something to do with it. It still wasn't all your fault. She has to take responsibility for some of this."

Michael: "I agree with Isabel."

Isabel: "Alex, you haven't had much to say about any of this. What are you thinking?"

Alex: (looking up at them and revealing so much hurt that Isabel walks over and puts her arms around him) "I don't know what to think." "I'd love to believe that she's back and this whole nightmare can finally end, but . . . nothing ever seems to be that simple anymore."

Liz walks up to the group at this point and pauses for a moment thinking of how to say what needs to be said.

Liz: (quietly) "Maria and I are going to go back to her house now since her Mom's sleeping. If you guys want to come over, I'd like to tell you what's been going on and try to explain . . ." (feeling extremely vulnerable and trying very hard to hide it but not quite succeeding)

Alex: (looking at her intently) "Liz, are you going to keep acting like a stranger?"

Liz: "Oh, Alex." (walks over to him and kneels down in front of him) "I don't know what to say to you. I didn't even know if you wanted to hear it . . ."

Alex: "Of course, I want to hear it." "I want to hear every stinking detail of what you've been doing for the past 6 months while we went crazy missing you and worrying about you." "Didn't you even miss us?"

Liz: (beginning to show the strain) "Alex . . . don't say that . . . please don't ever think I didn't miss you . . . I missed you so much ( visibly struggling for control), but I had no choice . . ."

Alex: "Everybody has a choice, Liz."

Liz: "You don't understand . . . I'll try to explain if you'll give me a chance . . . please."

Alex makes up his mind that no matter how much it hurt, he really needed to hear what she had to say.

Alex: "O.k. I'll drive you and Maria home."

Liz is alternately relieved and apprehensive about his decision to join them. What if she couldn't make them understand and they all ended up hating her? She gets up and Maria joins them. She walks straight up to Liz and puts her arm around her and they turn to walk out to the parking lot. Maria never even considers that the others might not come. Alex looks quickly at Isabel and gets up to follow the girls out. Michael and Max and Isabel are left to decide on their own.

AND I HAVE THE SENSE TO RECOGNIZE
THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET YOU GO,
DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET YOU GO . . .
DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET YOU GO.

MARIA'S HOUSE -

Maria and Liz and Alex have just walked in the front door, when Maria realizes that the others aren't there yet.

Maria: "Alex, where's Michael, Max, and Isabel?"

Alex: (looking very uncomfortable) "I don't know if they're coming, Maria."

Maria: "What!?!?" "You've got to be kidding!"

Liz: "No . . . Maria . . . You have to realize that they might not be interested in hearing anything about this."

Maria: "Not interested? Not interested! Are you out of your mind, Liz? Of course, they're intersted."

Liz: "It's been a long time . . ."

Just then they hear Max's jeep pull up in the driveway outside.

Maria: (grinning) "Hah! You thought you were going to get out of this didn't you, Liz Parker." "Well, you can just forget it. You owe us this explanation and we're by God gonna have it!"

Liz is feeling a little ill at the prospect of trying to explain what she didn't completely comprehend herself.

The others walk in and everyone settles down to hear what Liz has to say.

She looks at them for a minute before she starts speaking. A little more of the wall starts to crumble . . .

Liz: "Um . . . I don't think I realized how difficult this was going to be . . ."

Maria: "Pretend like it's just you and me, babe. You know you can tell me anything."

Liz: (smiles at Maria's attempt to help her out) "Well, where to begin?"

Maria: "How about at the beginning . . . the night you left . . ."

Liz (thoroughly embarassed at the prospect of telling them): "O.k. There's not going to be any easy way to say this, so I'm just going to blurt it out and hope for the best." "I knew that Max and Tess were attracted to each other and I walked in on them the night I left. They were . . . involved and didn't notice me. (Max is stunned to hear that Liz saw him with Tess that night) (Liz is carefully avoiding looking at Max) I didn't know what to think about it and didn't really want to look at it too closely anyway. I just felt like I was falling apart on the inside. I needed a chance to put myself back together. I went to the bus station without a plan except to get out of town as soon as possible, but I got there too early. While I was waiting, River Dog found me and said that he could help me, so I went with him back to the reservation. His only condition for me living there was that I couldn't know anything about you guys for a while. He said it was important . . . to heal. I accepted his conditions as long as he agreed to tell me if anyone ever needed me. I work with children a lot on the reservation and I've been keeping up with my school work through correspondence. I've been learning a lot living on the reservation and I really like it there. It's very peaceful. I don't think I can even begin to explain to you why I needed to leave . . . I just knew that I did. When River Dog asked me to go with him, I was certain I was doing the right thing. It hurt, but it was right.

Isabel: "So, all this time, you've been right there, practically under our noses . . ."

Liz: "Yeah . . ." (unsure how they were all taking this information)

Alex: "How did River Dog know where you were?"

Liz: "I don't really know, but it has to do with visions and dreams that he has. He has never told me why he had a dream about me in the first place, but he did, and that's how he knew where I was."

Michael: "I don't understand what connection River Dog could have with you . . ."

Liz: "I've asked him repeatedly, but he just looks at me in that weird way and says nothing. Eventually, I gave up asking him about it."

Isabel: "You spend all your time either working or doing school work?"

Liz: "Not exactly."

Isabel: "What else do you do?"

Liz: (sighs . . . really not wanting to get into this) "Well, I spend a lot of time meditating."

Alex: "Sounds like a monastery!"

Liz: (laughing for the first time) "Hardly."

Maria: "Are you trying to tell us that you've met someone there."

Liz's head flies up and she looks at Max for the first time in this whole dissertation. His face is unreadable as usual. Liz forces her gaze away from Max and over to Maria.

Liz: "No . . . that's not what I'm saying." "Just because it's not a monastery, doesn't mean it's a dating metropolis." (thoroughly embarassed now) "Good grief, Maria!" (under her breath)

Isabel: "Well, is there more, or is that it?"

Liz: "I think that just about covers it." Everyone is silent for a few minutes . . . just trying to absorb all this information.

Max: "When are you going back?"

Liz: (looking completely undone) "I'm not sure . . ."

Max: "But you are going back, aren't you?"

Liz: (hesitates) "Most likely . . . yes I will."

Maria: "What?!?! Why?!?!"

Liz: "Maria, please don't get upset. I didn't come home so I could cause you more pain. Even if I do go back, it doesn't mean we can't ever see each other. It just won't be at school or the Crashdown. I have a really great job that I love. You can come and see me anytime you want . . . stay for the weekend."

Maria: (torn between happiness that she'll at least be able to see Liz and sadness that things will never be the way they were) "You know I will."

Liz: (relieved) "Good."

Alex: "What about school, Liz? What about graduation?"

Liz: (embarassed all over again) "Well, actually, I'm graduating in December a little early."

Alex: "Wow."

Michael: "You have been busy!"

Max: (quietly) "What then?"

Liz: "I don't know for sure. I'll either continue on at the reservation or go to college I guess."

Isabel: "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm exhausted and Liz looks like she might fall over any minute." "Why don't we call it a night and get some rest. Tomorrow is another day. You will still be here tomorrow, won't you Liz?" (teasing)

Liz: (smiling at Isabel) "Yep!"

Maria: "You can all crash here tonight, if you like."

Everyone agrees and they all start getting ready for bed.

I'VE CROSSED THE LAST LINE FROM
WHERE I CAN'T RETURN
WHERE EVERY STEP I TOOK IN FAITH BETRAYED ME
AND LED ME FROM MY HOME
AND SWEET, SWEET SURRENDER IS ALL
THAT I HAVE TO GIVE
YOU TAKE ME IN
NO QUESTIONS ASKED
YOU STRIP AWAY THE UGLINESS THAT SURROUNDS ME
ARE YOU AN ANGEL?
AM I ALREADY THAT GONE?
I ONLY HOPE THAT I WON'T DISAPPOINT YOU
WHEN I'M DOWN HERE ON MY KNEES

Michael and Maria are sound asleep in Maria's bedroom, and Alex and Isabel are sleeping in the other bedroom. This has left Max and Liz to sort out what they're going to do . . .

Liz: "You know you don't have to stay tonight. I'm sure you'd rather be sleeping in a bed than on the floor . . ."

Max: "The floor's o.k." (watching Liz to try to see what she's thinking . . . there had been a time when he would've known . . .)

Liz: (shyly) "You didn't have a lot to say tonight . . ."

Max: "No." (still watching)

Liz: (exasperated) "O.k. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Max: "Like what?"

Liz: "I don't know . . . like you've never seen me before." "Did I hulk out and turn green and just don't know it?"

Max: (smiling) "I don't think so . . ."

Liz: "O.k. I think that's everything. Would you get that blanket off the back of the sofa?"

Max: (handing her the quilt and sitting down on the make-shift bed Liz has been working on) "There's something I'd like to tell you, too."

Liz: (fearing the worst) "What's that?"

Max: "There's no way I can undo what you saw the night you left." "I can't even explain why it happened. But, I do want you to know that the minute I kissed her it was over. I could see clearly again for the first time in weeks."

Liz: "Why?"

Max: "Because she wasn't you." "Everything about it felt wrong." "I have no idea why I was ever even attracted to her in the first place."

Liz: "Oh yeah . . . that's rocket science." (laughing . . . she couldn't believe she was actually laughing about this now . . . six months ago . . .)

Max: "I'm serious, Liz." "I really don't know, but it wasn't . . . normal." "It was like I couldn't help myself whether I wanted to or not."

Liz: "Well, now you know how I feel."

Max: (stunned) "What d'ya mean?"

Liz: "I used to say that you put a force on me, because that's exactly what it felt like."

Max: "Really?"

Liz: "Yes. Really. I think we should get some sleep now."

Max: "O.k."

They settle down on the floor beside each other and Liz is almost asleep before she lays down. Max pulls the quilt up over her and watches her sleeping for a long time.

MY LOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE
MY BEST FRIEND. YOU KNOW THAT
I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.
AND MY LOVE, LET NOTHING COME
BETWEEN US
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS STRONG AND TRUE.
SO, NOW YOU'RE SLEEPING PEACEFUL
I LIE AWAKE AND PRAY
THAT YOU'LL BE STRONG TOMORROW AND
WILL SEE ANOTHER DAY AND WE WILL
PRAISE IT AND LOVE THE LIGHT THAT
BRINGS A SMILE ACROSS YOUR FACE . . .

Much later, Liz wakes up disoriented at first, but then putting it all together she sits up quietly and looks over to see Max sleeping right beside her. She reaches over and brushes his hair back off his forehead . . .

AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
BY THE TOUCH OF YOUR HAND,
I WOULD BE THE ONE TO FALL
I MISS THE LITTLE THINGS,
OH I MISS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING
ABOUT YOU
IT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING AT ALL
THE LIFE I LEFT BEHIND ME IS A COLD ROOM

Liz realizes her mistake almost the moment she's made it. Touching Max was not a good idea. All of sudden she could feel things and see things that were part of him. She was so unprepared for the rush of emotions that she gasped out loud. Max wakes up and looks at her worriedly.

Max: (sitting up) "What's wrong, Liz?"

Liz: (embarassed to death) "Nothing. I just . . . uh . . . need a drink of water."

Max: (eyes narrowing) "What?"

Liz: "I'm thirsty."

Max: "Does this always cause you to react so strongly or was that just for my benefit?" (obviously not satisfied with her explanation)

Liz (blushing to her toenails): "I'm sorry I woke you up. I didn't mean to. Do you want something to drink while I'm up?"

Max: "Tell me."

Liz: "Tell you what?"

Max: "Tell me what scared you."

Liz: (seeing that he's not going to let this go) "I . . . touched you."

Max: (still in the dark) "And . . . "

Liz: "And I'm thirsty. I'll be back in a minute." (bolts for the kitchen)

Max flops back down on his back in exasperation and covers his eyes with one arm. When Liz comes back in the room, she notices that Max doesn't have a shirt on. She didn't remember him taking it off. When had he done that she wondered. She gets back into her little nest and Max looks at her with a determination that would have frightened her under other circumstances.

Max: "I'm not going back to sleep until you tell me what you are so afraid of."

Liz: "I'm not afraid."

Max: "Yes, you are. You are doing an admirable job of hiding it, but you are afraid."

Liz: "Well, if you must know . . . I guess I'm afraid of myself."

Max: (more confused than ever) "What?"

Liz: "I'm afraid of myself . . . of the way I feel . . . I don't want to feel this way anymore."

Max: "What way?"

Liz: "Like I can't breathe without you." "It's . . . not healthy."

Max: (just looks at her, beginning to understand) "So, you touched me and you're afraid of the way you felt."

Liz: "That about sums it up. Let's go back to sleep." (retreating under the covers)

Max has decided he's had more than enough of all this. He knows his Liz is somewhere inside of this person lying next to him and he's going to find her if it's the last thing he ever does.

MORNING - 6 A.M.

SO MUCH PAIN AND NO GOOD REASON WHY
YOU'VE CRIED UNTIL THE TEARS RUN DRY . . .
NOTHING HERE CAN MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND
WHY THE ONE THING THAT YOU HELD SO DEAR
IS SLIPPING FROM YOUR HAND . . .
AND, YOU SAY WHY, WHY, WHY?
DOES IT GO THIS WAY . . .
AND, WHY, WHY, WHY?
AND ALL I CAN SAY, IS SOMEWHERE DOWN
THE ROAD THERE'LL BE ANSWERS TO
THE QUESTIONS . . .

Max wakes up and rubs his eyes and looks over to where Liz had been sleeping and sees an empty bed. He's instantly alarmed and jumps into his clothes. The house is so quiet and he knows she's not inside. He wanders outside and looks around. It's not quite sunrise yet and still fairly dark outside. He's not sure why, but he heads toward the lake in back of the house. As he gets closer, he sees Liz sitting out on the dock. She's so still . . . As he gets closer, she never even moves. Her eyes are closed and her breathing sounds odd. He sits down beside her and waits for her to open her eyes, but she doesn't. Finally, he takes her hand and closes his own eyes and tries to form a connection with her. It only takes a second and it's there. Somewhere on a different plane, he sees Liz turn toward him and she smiles. He keeps moving toward her, but it's difficult to get close. It was a little like trying to move around in a mirror. Every move he made was in the wrong direction.

Liz: (gently) "Max, stop moving. I'll come to you."

Max: (relieved) "O.k."

Liz: (She glides toward him in one graceful movement that defies description) "You'll get the hang of it. It takes a little practice."

Max: "What are you doing out here, Liz?" "You scared me when you weren't in the house."

Liz: "I'm sorry. I meditate every morning. That's what this is, only usually it's done alone."

Max: (perplexed) "Why?"

Liz: (smiling at him still) "It's very . . . healthy." "Relax. I promise it won't hurt a bit."

Max: (hesitant) "O.k. I guess . . ."

Just then, someone else approaches them inside this other reality. It's Eddie from the reservation. He walks straight up to Liz. Liz searches his face questioningly, but he reveals nothing.

Eddie: "You are needed."

Liz doesn't even ask why or what this is all about. She nods her agreement and Eddie leaves as quickly as he came. Liz turns to Max.

Liz: "I have to get to the reservation as quickly as possible." "Please tell Maria that I'll be back later today." "Make sure that she knows I haven't abandoned her."

Max: "Wait. Can I drive you?"