How should I try to explain this to him? “I was just coming to tell you that when I finished going through the Congresswoman’s files, I’d found some reports that Pierce had made to Congress and his superiors before summer. I thought you’d need to know, so I swallowed my pride to come and find you. It was late, and though I didn’t see any cars in your driveway, I came around to your window anyway so I wouldn’t wake anyone. I stood at your window, watching, enthralled as you jerked off, remembering the same things I know you remember. I miss you so much. I have missed you so much.

“I knew that I shouldn’t have ditched you and left to spend the whole summer alone, but I did because I was so heartbroken. Watching you tell Tess that you believed in your Destiny was the last straw to my shattered and fragile heart. I love you Max, and that is the root of all our problems. I love you and can’t be near you at the same time. I can’t bear to be apart from you, either. Sometimes, I feel like I will die if I can't feel your arms around me, and your tender kiss on my flesh, and your hot cock in the deepest place in my body. Of course, I never do, but it hurts like hell either way.

“At any rate, I lifted my eyes to peruse your body as I have countless times before, memorizing every curve and plane because I know, in all likelihood, I will never see this again. It makes me so sad to think that I will make love to you again, and hold you close to my body when you come so deep inside me. How do I live without you? Through your window, you were moaning, and I felt like crawling right through that window to take your shaft into my mouth and suck on you so deeply that you would never let me go.

“I feel like if I were to come back to you, it would only be a matter of time before you decided (again) that we were better off apart. It’s been back and forth with that decision between the two of us since minute one. First it was you holding off, then me, then you dumped me after our first kiss, and we were apart for so long because I felt we shouldn’t be together. Then we got together again, and when you finally got the message from your mother telling you about Tess, I felt my uselessness as if it were tattooed on my forehead. And now you’re wanting me back, and oh, God, I want you too, but I won’t be able to bear being apart from you again once I’ve tasted you once more on my lips.”

Oh, Max…I lay back on my pillows for now, nude, ready for bed… ready for you. Thinking of you only makes my heart ache when I slip my hand down to my slim, tender thighs. With one hand I brush light fingers over my rosy, aroused nipples. You love that dark pink color…don’t you remember how you once told me they look like candy? If I think of you now, Max, I’ll die…I love you too much to…it hurts so badly. So as I slip my finger into my warm center to tickle and caress myself, I think of everything but you…Kyle, and Isabel…mmm, Isabel…Michael. Michael likes to give everyone hot looks, but he’s really sort of a tease because the only one he ever follows through with is Maria. And he *could* have a nicer body, but he’ll do…

“Oh, Michael,” I murmur softly, into the sweet-scented air. Even though I don’t feel it for him exactly, my finger alone won’t bring me to climax. I need my fantasies, and my fantasies about you are far too dangerous to be productive. So I place the flat of my finger against my clit and work away at it furiously. In no time, I’m creaming all over the palm of my hand, and I use my small index finger to wet my clit and outer lips. Some goes to my nipples, and I get so hot I lick it off myself, just to imagine you…er, Michael doing it to me.

My fingers are just small enough to fit into my hot tight hole, but Michael’s fingers would have to stretch and cram into my burning slit. So I place the ball of my thumb directly over my clit and work to insert three fingers knuckle deep into my dripping core.

Ahhhh, sweet relief, that feels good. I imagine Michael is above me, thrusting his erection into my thigh as his fingers work this magic. Using the fingers of my other hand, I pinch and tease my nipples to bring me closer, ohsocloser to climax. It’s coming quickly, and I’m humping my hips against my hand, knowing I’m getting closer and wanting it to be perfect so I won’t be left wanting.

“Please, right, there,” I whisper to myself, wishing it were you, and wishing I had batteries. Instead, I’m settling for this sour replacement. But it’s coming, it’s coming, and I’m actually immersed far enough into this Michael fantasy that I actually call his name softly when I do reach orgasm. Electric blue light flashes behind my eyelids, and I languidly open them to realize someone has been at my window and has now moved. I get my robe off the end of my bed and hurry to the window, catching only the glimpse of the top of said person’s head as they shimmy down my latter. Making sure no one else was out on the balcony waiting to attack, I throw open the sash and hurry to the ladder. I rest of my elbow and almost laugh when I see Michael jogging to the end of the block.

One part of me wants to know what he needed so as to come to my window, and the other part of me doesn’t care. As rough as he is, he’ll turn all twelve shades of red the next time I see him. And as much as I love you, Max…I’ll enjoy every minute of it.