Nick was staring at Liz too, seeing her pale face and shaking hands and kicked himself for making things worse. "Yeah, uhm… ‘Shani’ is an Antarian word. It’s an endearment. It means ‘love’ or ‘beloved’. Sorry, I-I thought you knew that…"

The air rushed out of Liz’s lungs, leaving her deflated. Here she was, all geared up to hear about the wonderful "Shani", the love of Max’s previous life and all he had been doing was calling her "love" in his own language?

Max was starting to feel lightheaded. "How would I have known that, Nick?" He sounded tired. "I have never even HEARD Antarian."

"I’m so sorry," Nick apologized again. "I didn’t realize…"

Relieved tears were starting to gather in Liz’s eyes, alerting her to the fact that she was on the verge of a serious emotional meltdown. Her shoulder had been pressed against Max’s chest, but now she twisted her upper body until she could bury her face in his neck, breathing in his warm familiar scent. As she did this, she felt the small tremors traveling through Max’s body intermittently, rudely pulling her back from the edge of her own feelings. Jerking up, she hastily wiped at her cheeks and searched Max’s face. He was breathing raggedly, the aftereffects of his intense flash obviously still crashing through his body. Not looking away from him, she firmly told Nick and Grace: "We can talk about this more later. Could you please let Max get some rest?" Her voice wavered, indicating her own distress to the listeners.

Max didn’t object, confirming Liz’s suspicions that he was feeling worse than he let on. "Thank you for talking to us and-and helping Max."

This was Nick and Grace’s signal to leave the Royal Suite and they did so hastily, glancing over their shoulders at the two young people clinging to each other on the chair.

Reaction was setting in for Max. That vision had been so vivid and the intense emotions going with it had shaken him. His head was spinning with all it could mean. Had he somehow known Liz in his past life? How was that even possible? Why did he call her Shani in the vision? No name, just… Shani. My Love. Was it a future vision? How could it be when she wasn’t pregnant? Did the vision take place on Dendar? Thank God it wasn’t the name of some other woman. HAD he loved someone else in his previous life? Why was the vision so hard on his body?

"Max?" Liz’s voice broke into his thoughts. "You need to go rest, come on." She had to tug herself out of his tight hold to drag him up from the chair. For a fleeting moment it amused Max that Liz probably thought she could manage moving his entire weight around with her slight frame and heaps of determination. But the amusement fled before his weakness. He felt like a truck had run him over.

Maneuvering Max to their bed, Liz let him sink down on the edge and began to take off his clothes. She unbuttoned his shirt with unsteady hands, while Max just sat quietly, still shaking. It reminded her so much of when they found him after Pierce had tortured him, that Liz couldn’t stop a hiccuping sob from escaping her throat. She bit her lip determinedly, now was not the time to come undone. She had to make sure Max was okay first.

Shoes next. She knelt in front of him, taking off his shoes and socks and fighting the urge to hug his legs and never let go again. She swiped at her eyes again before climbing to her feet. "Lie b-back so I c-can…"

He fell onto his back heavily, his eyes still on Liz. He could see how valiantly she was trying not to cry. "Liz…"

She ignored his weak plea, undoing his pants and tugging it off his hips and down his legs. When he was down to his boxers, she managed to drag the blanket from underneath him and cover him with it. Only then did she meet his gaze, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Max Evans, no one will ever love you like I do," she whispered. "Please don’t ever forget that."

"Liz…" he tried again, cursing his weak body. She was backing away from him. "Liz!" panic laced his voice now.

"I-I’m just gonna…" she gestured over her shoulder at the bathroom vaguely.

Another short, sharp pain shot through his head when he saw her turn her back on him and start to leave. "No," it was barely audible. "Don’t disappear again please, Sh… Liz."

The utter desolation in his tone made Liz swing back towards him, the Antarian robe whirling around her feet. The dazed look in his eyes and the frantic expression on his face made her run back to the bed. What on earth was going on with Max? He looked like he thought she was leaving him forever!

"I was just going to take this off," she assured him. And cry my eyes out in the other room where you can’t see it. "I’m not going far."

"No," he said again. "Stay here, where I can see you."

Leaning in to kiss his forehead, Liz promised him she would. He grabbed her hand, holding onto her and refusing to let go even when she starting struggling out of the clothes. She ended up with the robe and the top bunched around her left wrist. "Max, honey, you have to let go for a minute." She felt horrible for disturbing him, cause it looked like he had fallen asleep.

Max was standing in a clearing in a forest, his eyes hungrily drinking in the sight of the girl twirling in front of him. His heart ached from her beauty and grace and he felt a strange desperation that he needed to catch her in his hands and make her his. Then, in the blink of an eye, she was gone, leaving him with an ache tearing at his heart with sharp claws.

She had gently pulled her hand from his grasp and was in the process of stripping the long skirt down her legs when she heard the soft, distressed sound he made. Forgetting about the skirt, she tumbled onto the bed, heedless of crumpling the material and hugged him, cradling his head against her chest and whispering incoherent words of love.

He woke up abruptly, relaxing immediately when he felt Liz’s familiar warmth and shape next to him. He could hear the frantic beat of her heart under his ear and the sound calmed him down. Slowly, carefully, he lifted his hand to place it against her belly, watching as the soft amber glow appeared. He wistfully thought that he would be content if he could stay like this forever. Hearing the heartbeat of his beloved wife and seeing the gentle light that signified the life of his unborn baby. The terror of watching Liz disappear in the dream was finally receding in her presence.

Many conflicting emotions were crashing around in Liz, halting her from normalizing her breathing. Everything that had happened this morning indicated to her just how much she loved this man that was lying in her arms and caressing her stomach. The possibility of losing what they shared was frightening to her.

And she worried about Max. What was happening to him and will it harm him? A little bit of the fear she had felt when Michael got sick in their sophomore year had seeped back into her heart. What if something happened to Max that she couldn’t help him with? What if Nick couldn’t help him either?

But worst of all were Nick’s words that still rang in her ears. You were definitely married to Tess… She had known that, of course. But hearing it so bluntly from someone that would know beyond a shadow of a doubt made it real for the first time. Why did it feel like he had cheated on HER by being married to someone else in his previous life? Her mind painted sickening pictures of Max being happy with Tess, touching her and kissing her… and most of all, making love to her. But he chose ME this time, she told herself. It didn’t help. Before he had been hers, Max had belonged to someone else, and the realization made it hard to breathe.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Shilla shifted from one foot to the other, trying to ignore the stares of Max’s guards. She had no idea what was going on inside the suite, only that Max’s advisor and his wife had came out and told her to wait until she was called back in before going to get the dishes. The couple had looked worried and she wondered if the King had been harsh with them or something. On the other hand, Max had been nothing but polite with her so far and the Queen did not look like she lived in fear of her tyrant husband. In fact, she looked like she was very sure of the King’s affection and very much pampered.

Were all these Antarian’s so tall? Why then was the fake Queen so short? And Queen Liz? She was short too. There were whispers that she was not Antarian at all. She wondered if that was true. The King had lived on earth for most of his life, so it was possible in theory, but then what happened to the Antarian way of bonding mates genetically when they were young? There must be more to this story!

There were other whispers among the Dendarian servants. That a third ship was on its way to Dendar for the peace summit. One that carried another important visitor.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Max had no idea how long he laid there, lost in his thoughts and the closeness of his little family. Liz was really quiet and he had assumed she had fallen asleep, so he continued to draw little shapes on Liz’s tummy, watching as the glow followed his finger and small goosebumps lifted on her skin. She was wearing a snow-white pair of bikini panties that rested low on her stomach and gave him access to a lot of space to play with his baby. He felt slightly envious that his child was getting to be inside Liz for so many months, sharing a physical bond with her that couldn’t be broken. And he wished their baby could stay inside her until they got back to earth safely, that way he would only have to keep an eye on Liz and not on some helpless little person that couldn’t fend for himself too.

Finally noticing that Liz still had the skirt wrapped around the lower part of her legs, he roused himself enough to remove it for her. Afterwards, he sat on his heels, letting his eyes travel over her cute little feet and her shapely legs, pausing briefly on the scrap of silk of her underwear to skip to the flatness of her stomach. Helplessly, he reached his hand out again, touching her skin reverently and marveling about the miracle that was taking place inside her right now.

Liz sucked in a tortured breath at his warm touch and squeezed her eyes shut. She had turned her head away from him while he undressed her, hoping he would think she was still sleeping. Her throat felt on fire from keeping in the tears that threatened to spill over at the images of Max with Tess that were still haunting her. How selfish was she being? He had had this whole other life before he even knew she existed, how could she hold it against him that he had fallen in love then too?

Of course Max had felt the gasp and his eyes flew to Liz. He had been so preoccupied with his own thoughts, that he had failed to notice she was awake. Awake and distressed. Lying down next to her, he ran his hand over her shoulder and up her neck, attempting to pull her face towards him.

She resisted.

Tess. She was thinking about him being married to Tess. His heart contracted.

"If you don’t look at me, how can I tell you how much I love you?" he asked softly.

Another gasp.

"And… that I KNOW I have never loved like this before?" He let his hand drift to her throat, resting against the fluttering pulse there.

"And that I never will again?" He felt her swallow convulsively.

He was breaking down every fear she had until only little shards of them remained embedded in her heart.

"And that I love it when your eyes go that deep green color when you want me?"

A small chuckle. "My eyes are not green." She finally turned her head towards him slowly and met his gaze.

He moved closer, rubbing their noses together. "Like I would ever really make such a mistake." His hand brushed through her hair. "Liz—"

But she moved until she could kiss him, pressing her lips against his and wriggling closer until she was plastered to every inch of him. She wanted oblivion from her thoughts, she wanted his lips and hands to make her feel all the things he had just said. She wanted to drown in Max.

He slipped his arms around her, one hand cupping her rear and the other the back of her head and kissed her deeply. Her mouth opened underneath his with a small sigh and he eagerly swept his tongue inside, tasting her sweetness and her complete surrender. She threw her leg over his hip and the kiss became harder, more urgent.

Liz sucked on his tongue, hearing his small groan and tried to move even closer to him. He rolled them over so that she was sprawled on top of him, her hair falling around their faces like a curtain.

Max…

Liz, my love. My Shani…

As the last endearment echoed through her mind, the flash hit her. Max was standing at a big window overlooking a dark garden. Around him people in traditional Antarian clothes were milling about at what looked like a party. He seemed like the only stationary object in the whole scene. Liz was overcome by the extreme sadness that radiated off him. His head was bent as if he was under pressure from some great force and his hands were bunched at his sides. He looked hopeless and utterly dejected. Until a blonde head appeared next to his shoulder: "My husband…"