Inevitably, the gossip began. Isabel couldn’t be reacting so extremely to Alex’s death if they’d simply been school peers. Rumor abounded as to the reality of their relationship. Obviously, they had been an item – had they been lovers ? How long for ? Had she cheated on her past boyfriends to secretly meet with him ? And why Alex – he was nerdy, a scrawny little thing, and definitely not one of the populars. Did he have something about him that had attracted Isabel to him ? Was he a secret Lothario she hadn’t been able to resist ? Did she, who guys had complained was an ice-princess whos pants none of them could get into, writhe and moan at Alex’s touch?

They went into detailed hypothetical discussions as to just what Isabel had done with him. Thankgod it had been her, they all said – they certainly wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere near someone like him. He was – or had been, rather – in a garage band for God’s sakes! Singing alternative crap, rather then popular stuff. But then, everyone knew Alex was a little alternative, a little weird with his obsession with Isabel. They were meant for each other.

Of course, none of them actually spoke to Isabel about it. And even if Isabel had tried to talk to them (which she didn’t, depriving them of an opportunity to snub her, much to their chagrin) they wouldn’t have iced her. Isabel had tarnished all their reputations when she had done all those awful things with Alex Whitman. A popular was supposed to act in a certain way and go out with a certain kind of guy, and by not doing that, by crossing class lines, she had blackened all their names.

Isabel knew they were gossiping, her so-called friends, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything now that her beloved Alex Whitman was dead. It had been her fault he was dead – and for his death, she reasoned in her mourning state, she should be stripped of any happiness she might have otherwise had. There was no happiness without Alex.

A bug had been plaguing Isabel the last week or so. She refused to see a doctor about it. Secretly, she hoped it might be some deadly virus that, if she left it long enough, it would be the end of her. So she put up with it, throwing up almost everything she ate, feeling tired from doing the simplest of tasks.

One day, Max came to Isabel’s room right after she’d finished throwing up for the fourth time that day. “ Is, I need to talk to you, ” he insisted quietly.

Even though Max lived with his sister, it surprised him every time he saw her how far she had deteriorated. Her once-golden hair was a dirty, stringy blond, full of split ends. Under her eyes were dark bags. Her nails, usually painstakingly manicured and polished, were now bitten down so they bled. Even her skin looked dirty. It was as if Isabel had lost all interest in life. “ Yes ? ” she asked in a flat, listless voice.

“ Isabel ... I know this must be a difficult question for you to answer, but I’ve got to ask it. Were you – were you and Alex lovers ? ”

The look in Isabel’s eyes when he asked this was all the answer Max needed. Ironically, it was the first sign of life Isabel had shown in over a month – and the answer that could have disastrous repercussions. “ Did you, um, did you use protection ? ”

“ Sometimes, ” Isabel replied. “ At first we were pretty good about it. I mean, I couldn’t go on the Pill ’coz I didn’t want to see a doctor to get a prescription, should any questions arise, so it was obvious that Alex would need to use a condom each time. But we became pretty slack about it ... whenever we had them on hand, we’d use them, but there were so many times when we’d get carried away and couldn’t help ourselves. We’d always promise to use protection next time and we tried ... but sometimes it would just happen and we couldn’t stop ... I know that sounds difficult to understand, but with Alex ... we’d want each other so much ... ”

It was the longest Max had heard Isabel speak since Alex had died. It seemed ironic that it was Alex who could make her talk so much. “ Then ... then you realize you could be pregnant ? ” Max asked.

Although it must have occurred to Isabel before, she looked up at Max, surprise and fear in his eyes. “ Oh, God, Max ... I can’t be pregnant. I’m only sixteen ... and what about us being ... I mean, you know... ” she didn’t have to say it for Max to understand ; what about them being aliens. “ Oh, God ... it can’t be ... ”

Max revealed a home pregnancy kit he’d bought earlier that day. “ It might not work on you ... but I want you to try it ... I want you to find out for certain... ”

Wordlessly, Isabel took the pack and fled to the bathroom with it. Max waited patiently, hoping against hope that it was only a bug that Isabel had.

Half an hour later she came back. Fresh tears flowed down her face. She didn’t need to tell Max was the results were. “ Isabel ... ” Max got up and took her in his arms, encircling her tightly, wishing he could protect Isabel from all the bad things that had happened to her. “ Isabel ... Isabel ... ” Isabel just lay in her brother’s arms, void of any energy, sobbing her heart out, sobbing for the love she had lost and the responsibility she was about to take on. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with Alex’s child.

---------------------- Surprisingly, Mr. and Mrs. Evans had taken the news with relative calm. Of course, they weren’t happy about their baby girl being pregnant, especially with the father being dead, but they loved her more then life itself and were prepared to deal with it rather then sent her away like some outcast.

Of course, it had traveled like wildfire through school that Isabel was pregnant. It had only confirmed what everyone had already thought ; that she and Alex had been lovers. Her old friends smirked ; what a fall from grace it was for the Ice Princess, the Forbidden Fruit of every boy’s desire, that she had gotten pregnant t o a nerdy boy who was now dead. And wasn’t she taking it so well – everyone knew how unkempt Isabel was looking these days.

Because Isabel’s grades had slipped alarmingly the last month and she was the talk of the school, it was a concession on her parent’s behalf that she shouldn’t have to go back to school. Surprisingly, it was Isabel was decided to go back. “ I’ll have to go back someday, ” she insisted in a voice that displayed more emotion then it had for weeks. “ I might as well have never left. ”

For the first time since the funeral, Maria and Liz decided to speak to Isabel. Isabel knew they held her somehow responsible for Alex’s death, even if they didn’t know the part she had played, but now that she was carrying Alex’s child – well, they couldn’t not get involved. They would be surrogate aunts.

Still, despite Isabel’s insistence that she return to school, a dark cloud still clung to her. Her appearance did not approve. Neither did her grades. She sat in class, staring out the window, and when her named was called she gazed up blankly, struggling to return back to reality. The students would laugh, her teachers eventually gave up on her. Everyone knew what a hard time Isabel was going through.

Maria and Liz were godsends. Now that none of her friends were socializing with her, they were the ones who hung out with her, who forced her to leave the house, who defended her when her former so-called friends bitched about her. More then once they’d rocked up to the Evans house and ordered Isabel out. They debated over baby names and included Isabel in their conversations, so much so that slowly Isabel began to feel a flicker of interest in life. But still, that wasn’t much.

Isabel didn’t go to a doctor until she had begun her third trimester. Even then, she was apprehensive to do so. If the doctor should somehow cotton on to the fact that she was not human, it could put them all in jeopardy. Although deep in her hard, it was difficult for her to make herself care about the safety of the others – now that Alex was dead, she didn’t care about much, not even the people she had once loved. Alex would have been her main concern in a time like this ; now that he was gone, there was, in Isabel’s numbed mind, no concern. Still, she knew she had to try and keep her pregnancy within the group ; she’d rather Max and Michael help her through it then an outsider, even though they really had no idea what they would be doing and planned to make it up as they went along. Plus, Isabel couldn’t help but think from time to time, if there were complications and there was no doctor around she might die.

But her parents kept insisting, one day bundling her into the care and driving her t o the hospital, so there was nothing she could do about it. In the end, they’d had nothing to worry about. At her insistence, the doctor took no blood or urine samples, and even to a trained professional, she looked like a normal, healthy, albeit teenage girl going to give birth to a normal, healthy, albeit quarter-alien child.

To Isabel’s – and everyone else’s – enormous relief, Isabel’s pregnancy progressed like that of a human’s. One of her major fears had been that she would carry the child for some ridiculous short or long term, and people would begin to ask questions. She could just picture ; at two years, still pregnant, her doctor reporting it to a higher authority, it getting to the FBI ... But, thankgod, the childbearing part of her appeared to be human.

One day Liz had come over to keep Isabel company. Max had noted that, with the birth approaching fast, Isabel seemed to get more and more depressed. “ You thought she was bad when Alex first died – you should see her now. ” She only ate with Max prodded her, and sat with her every meal, painstakingly encouraging her to eat carefully-prepared nutritious meals. “ Maybe you could talk to her – she might open up to another girl, and someone who knew Alex most of his life. ”

As usual, Isabel didn’t say anything unless she was asked a direct question, and then in a minimum of monosyllables. Max had been right ; the Isabel Evans that had existed following Alex’s death was Miss Perky next to this Isabel. Finally, in exasperation, Liz snapped, “ Look, Isabel, you can’t keep acting like this – you’ve gotta pull yourself together. It’s not good for you and it can’t be good for the baby. Alex is probably turning over in his grave to know how far you’ve let yourself go ... ”

Isabel’s eyes crackled with anger. “ Yeah, well Alex is dead, so it doesn’t really matter, does it now ? ” she snapped. “ Maybe he would be disappointed in me, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything now – now that he’s not here. If he were, I’d be doing cartwheels knowing that I’m carrying his child and that we’ll be a family ... but we won’t, we never will. I don’t want Alex’s child if I can’t have Alex. ”

This last sentence came out in a choked sob. But her outburst was a luxury she hadn’t enjoyed since before Alex’s death and it was like now that the dam of her secret guilt and feelings was broken, she couldn’t stop the flood that burst forth. “ It was my fault he died ... I told him I wanted us to take a break for a while ... he was so upset about it ... I guess he just stormed off in a rage and ran into those guys ... they were jealous of his relationship with me ... it’s my fault he’s dead... I loved him and I was too stupid to realize it ... my fault he's’ dead ... ”

Liz embraced Isabel, hugging her tightly. “ It’s OK, ” she said soothingly. “ Well, OK, it’s not , but it will be ... you’ll survive, we’ll all survive. It’s not your fault that he’s dead – if those guys were jealous, then they would have had a go at him sooner or later ... what you’ve got to remember is how much he loved you ... and he did love you, Is. I knew him most of my life and he was never so happy as when he was with you. You shoulda seen the way his eyes lit up whenever he talked about you ... he loved you so much, I was jealous of him, ’coz I know I don’t feel the same way about Max that he felt about you. And you still have his child – the child you made with him, out of your love. You gotta be strong for that child, Isabel. ”

Isabel didn’t say anything, but her sobs gradually subsided. Liz stayed with her until she finally fell asleep late in the night, then made her comfortable on the couch, not daring the move her and wake her from her slumber, and hoped that everything would be alright.

--------------------------

Isabel slept fitfully, tossing and turning on the couch all night. She was running through a hallway that never ended, a hallway with no beginning and no end, and no doors – just one long, straight corridor. In her dream she knew she was running from her mistakes – or was it running to some kind of personal understanding ?

And then the corridor opened up with a huge blast of light greeting Isabel, blinding her. She put her hand up to her eyes to shield them. Surrounding her was a bright light that prevented her from seeing anything. “ WHERE AM I ? ” she screamed at her surroundings.

And then the light dimmed to standard sunlight, and Isabel realized she was at school – the place she and Alex first met. “ Isabel, ” came a voice behind her that Isabel could recognize anywhere. Alex.

She turned around and there, sure enough, was her one true love. “ Alex, ” she whispered hoarsely. “ Is it really you ? ” even thought she knew the answer.

Alex nodded. “ You don’t look too great, ” he stated the obvious. Isabel looked down at herself, and it was like for the first time since Alex had died she really saw herself. She knew how far she had let herself slip, but it was like she didn’t see it until this moment. Her nails were all bitten down until they bled ; her hair hadn’t been washed in weeks and hung limply off her head ; her skin seemed sallow, giving her a sickly appearance even though physically she was healthy ; she was wearing a worn bathrobe the old Isabel wouldn’t have been caught having in her possession, let alone wearing. What have I become ? she asked herself.

“ Alex, I - ” she tried to explain. “ It was my fault you died. I loved you so much that it scared me so I wanted to cool things down. I didn’t realize how much I loved you until they were lowering your coffin and it was too late ... if I hadn’t upset you you wouldn’t have got off in anger, you would have been with me ... and now I’m being punished for it, and I deserve it... ”

Alex took her in his arms like he had done so many times before. “ Is, it’s going to be OK – I know it is. I’ve been watching you and it worries me that you’re so depressed. It’s not good for our baby – it senses these things. If you’re not careful, you’ll lose it. Is that what you want ? For all that you say so, is that what you really want ? ”

In a sudden flash of clarity, Isabel realized that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted this baby. She wanted to have Alex’s child, and bring it up the way they would have brought it up. Maybe it wouldn’t have a father, but Isabel would bring it up knowing all about Alex, understanding what she loved him so, and would always love him, no matter how much time passed. “ No, ” she answered. “ But Alex, I don’t want to raise this child without you. Every time I look into their face, every time I say their name – I’ll be thinking of you and the fact that you’re not there with me to share the miracle of our child... I don’t think I can do it. ”

“ Yes, you can Is, ” Alex said, quietly but encouragingly. “ I know you can – you have so much love inside you that our child will thrive on – or else how could I have loved you as much as I do ? ”

At this Isabel began to cry. “ Oh, Alex, I loved you so much – you can’t know how much I love you, how much I’ll always love you. ”

“ I know, ” Alex said. “ I can see it in you. You don’t need to say it. But Isabel, I need you to be strong – for you and for our baby. Can you promise me you’ll be strong ? For me ? For the memory of us ? ”

Isabel nodded her head, suddenly knowing that she could do it. Alex was right – she had so much love in her, love that she would lavish on their child. She knew she had it because she had loved Alex so – she understood that now with a clarity that somehow made her feel calm, peaceful. Love did not stop with death ; love continued into eternity. Even though Alex was no longer with her in the flesh, she still loved him and he loved her – and they always would. Even if Alex wasn’t there to help her raise their child, a child born out of their love for each other, he would always be looking out for her – loving her. Always. “ I promise, ” she said in what was barely above a whisper. “ I love you. ”

“ I love you too ... ” Alex’s image began to fade away and once again Isabel was shrouded in white light, blinding her from her surroundings. She did not call for Alex, or reach for him ; she knew he had achieved what he had come for and had no reason to stay. I love you, she said, in her heart, in her head.

Isabel woke up with a start. It had only been a dream, she realized. And yet – she knew it hadn’t been, she knew it had been real. Alex had truly come to her, to give her confirmation of his love for her and the strength to carry on. “ I will, Alex, ” she whispered, to herself but also to the presence she was positive surrounded her. “ I promise. ”

-------------------------

No-one could work out exactly what it was that had jolted Isabel out of the slump she had been in. Certainly, it wasn’t her so-called former friends, who had taken delight out of seeing her fall from grace. And Liz, Maria, Max and Michael, although they would have loved to take credit for such an absolute turnaround in Isabel’s demeanor, knew they hadn’t had anything to do with it. No-one ever figured out what it was.

The populars of Roswell High watched Isabel suddenly take to life with a zeal as-yet unseen in her with chagrin. They had taken delight in seeing her on a downward slide, she who had once been the Queen of Roswell. True, nothing would make people forget that she was pregnant, and pregnant to a dead, geeky boy, but there had come a sudden blossom in Isabel that no-one had seen before – a radiance everyone had to admit made her a much nicer person. Instead of dreading the birth, she looked forward to it. She no longer skipped days of school and avoided people ; she went every day, threw herself into her studies and spent more time with the girls.

Then the day came that Isabel had been waiting for. Hours before her contractions started she knew she was going to give birth today.

Max drove her to the hospital, where everyone was surprised how calm she was – especially for a first-time teenage mother. How could they know that Isabel knew everything was going to be OK ? Her, the baby, their future – it was all going to be fine, so long as she believed in it and herself, and the love that had given her this child.

Michael, Liz and Maria got to the hospital minutes after Max phoned them. “ Oh, God, I can’t believe it’s actually happening, ” Maria said.

The birth was uneventful. Later Liz would comment to Maria that it was as if Isabel had some kind of guardian angel was watching over Isabel, making sure there were no complications. And that same guardian angel was probably the one who had pulled her out of her slump. They never realized how right they were.

“ It’s a boy, ” the doctor announced moments after the baby arrived. But even though Isabel hadn’t gotten an ultrasound and had no scientific way of knowing what sex the baby would be, she’d already known that. “ What are you going to call him ? ”

“ Alex, ” Isabel answered immediately. “ Alex Charles ... ” she paused, the said, “ Whitman. ” Even though the child had been born out of wedlock, and therefore his name should be Evans, it sounded wrong. Whereas Whitman sounded so right.

Isabel looked at Maria and Liz, who were beaming at Isabel’s choice of name. “ Alex Charles Whitman, ” Maria echoed. “ It’s perfect. ”