It's my 30th birthday, and for the first time in 5 years I cried.I didn't think I was capable anymore, but they came as if someone broke a dam, rivers and rivers and rivers until I thought I would drown in my own tears. Then they stopped as abruptly as they came. I didn't think it was possible, but I feel even more empty than ever. I think briefly of the day I became this shell of the person that I use to be. I still look like me, I still sound like me, but I left my soul in Roswell New Mexico that day, and where it is now, I'll never know. I wonder if it is my birthday that brought this on, or the fact that today is the day, 12 years ago, that I left.

You probably want to know what happened right? With me, with everyone. You want to know and I want to forget. Oh don't worry I'll never forget. Believe me I've tried.

12 years ago we graduated from High Scholl, all eight of us. Yes, Michael managed to graduate too. Actually I'm surprised any of us did, with every thing that happened those last two years, but I'll get into that later.

Alex went to M.I.T after graduation, where else? He's some hotshot computer genius now making oodles of money. He got married a few years ago, her name is Monica and wouldn't you know, she looks a lot like Isabel. They just had a little boy, Alex Jr. I don't talk to him much anymore, he calls every now and then to say he misses me and loves me. It's sweet really; I think I may be really happy for him.

Kyle is still in Roswell;He took over as Sheriff a couple of years ago when his Dad died. None of us would have made it to today if not for Kyle and Sheriff Valenti. I miss them both. I hear from him every now and again as well. He's married too. Vanessa, they have two little girls.

I guess that leaves Maria. Maria went to Hollywood shortly after I left. She was mad at me for a while, for leaving without saying goodbye, but she eventually let it go. She could never stay mad at me. She is a singer now in the midst of recording her 8th CD. She is quite famous and still my best friend. We don't see each other often enough, according to her, but we still talk at least once a week. She is on her 3rd husband, I think this one's name is John. It won't last. We don't ever talk about it, but I know it is because she compares everyone to Michael. She has a house everywhere, or so it seems, so I stay with her a lot when I travel. I am doing Molecular Biology Research for Companies and Universities all over the country. I travel so much I don't really have a place I call home.

I know, I know, you want to know what happened to the other half of our group. I wish I could tell you. Except for my hallucinations of Max, I haven't seen or heard from any of them since the day I left.