“Are you okay Liz?,” you ask with concern in your voice.

“I think I’m getting a touch of the flu. Maybe I’ll call in sick today,” I say. I don’t tell you what I’m really thinking, not wanting to get your hopes up. We had come to terms along time ago that we would probably never have children and we accepted it. At least I thought we did but I couldn’t help but feel excited about the prospect now that it my actually be happening.

“I think you should, you’ve been working to hard,” you tell me. You always have my best interest at heart and I love you for that, among many other things.

An hour later I’m standing in the drug store in front of a row of pregnancy tests. You left this morning telling me to rest and that you’d call later. I kissed you goodbye and promised to sleep. I have no idea what test to buy. I read them all and settle on two of them, not wanting to trust just one. I pay for my purchase and head home.

It’s been two and half minutes and I can hardly contain myself. These three minutes are crawling by. Finally the oven timer goes off and I head to the bathroom. I pick up the two sticks and let them fall to the ground. I cover my face with my hands and start to sob, not because I’m sad but because I am overcome with happiness.

~~~~~

“Max, I’m pregnant,” I announce to you when you’re barely in the door, I can’t help it. I’ve kept the news to myself all day and can no longer contain myself. I almost told Maria earlier on the phone but I wanted you to be the first to know. I know I’m glowing with excitement and you smile back at me, sharing in my joy, I know you don’t think I see it but there is a look of fear in your eyes. I also know why the look is there, not because you’re not happy, but more scared of what might happen. I share in your fears but somehow I know that everything will be alright.

We call our parents, Alex and Isabel, Maria and finally Michael, leaving him for last because we know how he’ll react. You talk to him and I can tell he doesn’t share in our excitement but you don’t tell me that, I just know Michael. I know he’ll come to terms with it in time, he doesn’t have a choice, it’s our life and this is what we want.

I’m five months pregnant now and I think I’m growing like a house. You assure me that I look more beautiful then ever, I tell you you’re biased. Maria and I were out shopping earlier today and I felt the baby kick for the first time. It was amazing, I was just sorry you missed it. Maria was ecstactic as she walked down the street with her hand on my swollen belly. This drew a few stares our way but we didn’t care, we were happy.

I still see the look of fear in your eyes when you look at me and even though the doctor assures us each and every visit that everything is progessing normally it does nothing to dull the fear. I don’t tell you I have fears of my own, you have enough on your mind.

~~~~~

I’m huge. I know I am. We’re at home relaxing today at your insistence. We have a week of ‘freedom’ left, you tell me and we better enjoy it. The movie ends and I get up to stretch, my belly sticking out at least a mile. I’m exhausted and my back is killing me. It’s the middle of the day but I need a nap. You offer to massage my aching back.

“Not a chance mister, how did you think it got in this condition in the first place,” I tell you sarcastically. I kiss you and head for the stairs asking for you to wake me up in an hour but not waiting for your answer, I know you will. I crawl into bed and I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow. The dreams come fast only they are more like memories then dreams. The day you saved my life, our first kiss, the first time we made love when you told me I was your destiny and we pledged to be together for always, the day you proposed, our wedding day. I remember the unshed tears in your eyes as I walked up the aisle to join my life with yours, for always and forever. You took my hand in yours and I knew it was right, this was our destiny.

I jolt awake as a pain screams through my abdomen. I look over and see you in the doorway and cry out to you. You tell me that an ambulance is on it’s way and ask if you should drive me. Something inside me tells me there isn’t enough time. I’m crying and sweating, you gently brush the hair off my face and leave to get towels and water. Another pain rips through my body, I scream and pull my knees to my chest, well as close I can get them because my protruding belly is in the way. You’re back in the room now spreading towels all around me on the bed. You’re encouraging me to breath and relax as you place your hand over mine on my knee. I clench my teeth and want to scream at you but I know you’re only trying to be supportive.

“That’s easy for you to say,” is all I manage to spit out. The pain stops and I smile up at you and notice for the first time a different look in your eyes, no longer is there fear lingering there and I know I catch a glimmer of happiness behind the concern. I wonder briefly what brought about the change in your eyes and then the pain is back again and I push my thoughts to the back of my mind for now. The waves of pain are so close together and all I want to do is push. Finally you see something and you move your hand from my knee, reach down and gently help me bring our daughter into the world, I know it’s a girl before I even see her. I notice the tears in your eyes as you cut the cord and help our daughter take in her first breath. You are cleaning her off when a pain suddenly rips through me again. I’m so exhausted I can’t even call out your name. I think I hear Maria downstairs and I hear you say something. Through blurry eyes I think I see Maria in the door to our bedroom and suddenly I feel her behind me. I feel her hands brushing my hair off my face and I feel her kiss my cheek.

“Don’t worry, we’re here for you,” I hear her whisper in my ear. I know I’m barely conscious and I don’t understand why the pain hasn’t stopped. I feel Maria pushing me forward several times but I’m to exhausted to help her. Suddenly Maria stops and I think far off I hear a baby cry and I fall into darkness. I awake to find a woman standing over me. She tells me who she is and not to worry. She explains that they are just going to examine me and my twin daughters and then take us to the hospital. She tells me how brave I was but I’m not listening, I’ve latched onto the word twins, two not one. I am overcome with happiness and can’t hold back my tears. They finish examining us and place me on a stretcher. You come over to kiss me and whisper in my ear, ‘for always and forever’, all I can do is smile. Maria picks up our daughters and we head downstairs to the waiting ambulance. Once inside the ambulance Maria places our daughters in my eagerly waiting arms.

“Thank you,” I say through tears. She places a hand on my cheek and smiles.

“I’ll see you soon,” and that’s enough for me. Maria is and always will be my best friend next to you.

I look down at the two perfect bundles in my arms and smile, I am complete.

~~~~~

“Ashley get off that table,” does she listen, no, I have to walk over and take her down, “This one’s going to be trouble,” I say as you lean over and kiss my cheek and once again tell me how much she reminds you of Michael. I watch as she runs to join her sister on the floor her straight dark hair billowing out like a curtain behind her and not for the first time admire the extended parts of us, what our love has created. They are beautiful, but then I’m biased. They’re the perfect combination of both of our features, I only wish they had your ears but I know you’re glad they don’t, you say they have my nose, I say they have your eyes. It’s amazing that they are so different and yet identical, except for the small birthmark behind Morgan’s right ear that you swear is a star, but looks more like a blotch to me. Morgan is our shy little cuddler and Ashley is our outgoing independent daughter.

They are celebrating their second birthday tomorrow and life has never been better for us. I only wish I could say the same for the remainder of our group of six. Alex and Isabel are fine. She is expecting their second child in four months. Their son Ethan, the spitting image of Alex ears and all, is a little over one and is anxiously awaiting the birth of his brother. We’re not positive of the gender but Isabel swears it’s another boy. She is so happy and has stepped into the her new roles very smoothly. There’s not a trace of the Ice Priness Isabel anymore only a gently and caring wife and mother. Having know Alex almost my entire life I can honestly say I have never seen him more content.

It’s the other members of our group that worry me. Outwardly they appear happy, but the happiness doesn’t show in Maria’s eyes. They are in an ‘off again’ stage in their relationship and I wonder if they will ever work things out. Maria knows I’m here for her, I tell her often enough, but I wait for her to come to me when she’s ready.

~~~~~

We’re enjoying a rare moment of peace, the twins finally asleep for the night. I have news for you but I think you’ve already guessed. I lay back on the bed take your hand into mine and place it on my still flat abdomen.

“Is it a boy or a girl,” I ask and smile at you.

“I’m hoping it’s a boy, we need some more testostorone around this house,” you softly kiss me then add, “Whatever it is your going to the hospital a week early this time.”

I lean torwards you laughing, “I love you for always and forever,” I whisper in your ear.