Michael just collapsed in her arms, making them both fall to the floor. He couldn’t remember why he had started this, couldn’t remember why they were here, fighting again.

To think he almost lost her, to think she could actually be over him. It hurt too much to think about. Michael knew he would never get over Maria De Luca. He would never stop loving her. He just wished he could tell her this.

"Maria," he said looking over at her. They were lying side by side on the floor of his apartment where they had fallen when he collapsed. Maria had her head propped up on one hand and with the other she was picking lint from the carpet. Why wouldn’t she look at him? Michael reached up and swept the hair from her face, placing it behind her ear. She looked up.

"Maria, how could I be so stupid? How could I have left you? Why didn’t I realize you wouldn’t wait forever?" Michael was on the verge of tears.

******

Maria let him ramble on and on. He just broke down asking her how she could learn to let go, how she had learned not to love him anymore.

"I still love you, I will always love you. But I had to learn to let you go," Maria said. "If I can’t, I’ll die. Michael, I hate to say this, but you are my life."

"Then how come I can’t make you my life, I want to, but…"

"I understand." Maria understood completely why she had to stay second in his life. She didn’t want it to be but it was true, to Michael home and family was most important. He didn’t seem like a family guy, but in truth, anyone he considered family he treated well.

"You shouldn’t have to understand anything. It shouldn’t be this complicated."

"But it is. No use trying to change things we can not."

"Just remind me. Remind me why I’m here, with you. Remind me why we started this whole mess, why I bothered to get involved. I can’t remember," Michael said, moving closer to her suggestively. He brought his lips close enough to touch hers, "Give me one reason…"

Maria closed the space between them, pressing her lips against his. Sometimes we all need a little reminder, she didn’t mind.

Michael grabbed her hip and pulled her towards his body. The kisses became more insistent and aggressive. Maria could feel him hard against her, their bodies being sealed from head to toe.

Michael’s hands covered every part of her body, finally coming to rest at the back of her hip. Michael moved the kisses from her mouth to her throat. It felt wonderful. As he did this Maria whispered, "Is this good enough for now?"

Michael gave a soft moan, "Forever," was all he could say. And Maria had to agree, if this moment was her last with him, it was enough to keep her alive till the world ended.

Michael seemed to collapse and Maria was concerned. He lay on his back his eyes closed. "Are you ok?" she asked. It didn’t sound very intricate or poetic, but it showed she cared.

"Yes, I’m just resting, thinking." He looked so peaceful. Maria laid her head on his chest wanting to stay close to him. She didn’t want to stop, but she knew he needed time. He wasn’t supposed to get intense, involved, wasn’t suppose to have anyone tying him down. She accepted this, well, more like ignored it. She just wanted someone, everyone does, but she wasn’t going to sacrifice her heart. So far it hadn’t come down to that, although Maria knew it would.

******

Michael spoke, "Maria, thank you." He didn’t know quite why he said thank you, he just knew it needed to be said.

"For what?" she sat up, a confused expression on her face.

"For waiting, for understanding."

"I’m not going to wait forever you know," her eyes looked dark, shaded. "I can’t wait forever."

"I know Maria. I need you, now. If ever I needed you, it’s right now."

"I’m here, but will you be? When it comes down to the end, will you still be here?"

Michael knew what she wanted to hear, he knew what he wanted to say, but on thing he had learned is he couldn’t lie to her. She would know. But if he said "yes" would it be a lie?

"I’ll be there tomorrow," he replied. "I’ll be there in the morning." A glint of recognition flashed in Maria’s eyes as she realized what he was implying. She looked hungry and he was ready to feed her. "I need you, I want you. I want us to be "us," not you and me."

Maria was silent. Finally she thought of what needed to be said. "Michael before we take this to the next level we need to make sure something changes."

"It will," Michael said.

"No I mean I don’t want this just to be about sex." Maria knew she wanted to make love to him more than anything, but that was just it. She wanted to make love; she needed to make sure this wasn’t just about passion. The lies she had told herself and others about how she didn’t care that all she and Michael shared was kisses were killing her.

"You’ve thought about this haven’t you?" Michael replied.

Maria was snapped back to reality. She hated to admit it but she had thought about this many times before, long and hard. She lowered her head. "It’s ok," Michael said, lifting her face to meet his. "Now it’s my turn to understand."

Maria didn’t know what to say. She felt extremely lucky to have Michael. He might not be the best person in the world, but he was the best for her. He understood her and cared for her, no matter how many times he denied it, or if he rarely showed it. Maria knew by the small things he did for her, the small kisses he gave her when no one was looking, the way he tried to protect her from the reality of all that was happening.

But she didn’t want him to go through with this if he was going to regret it. That would just make it worse. She couldn’t force him to do anything, Michael wasn’t one to be forced, but she knew that when it came to her sometimes he forgot everything else.

****

"I could never regret it," Michael knew that was exactly what she was thinking. He knew she was hesitant because of him. But it was true. If he could share this special moment with her he would never regret it. It wasn’t what would make him stay, he knew he would have stayed, sex or not, but it was his way of showing her that he would. She knew he wouldn’t do anything like that if he didn’t mean it. "I know I said I couldn’t get intense…"

"Then don’t. As much as I want this, need this, I want for you to be happy. I know you can’t be happy if you’re missing me."

Michael couldn’t live knowing Maria was unhappy, much less be happy. But he didn’t want to leave, even if the chance cam up. "Let’s not think about it."

"No Michael. Don’t you remember how this all started? This started because we didn’t think. We just acted, and now look where it’s brought us. Can you say we’ve really come very far? I don’t think so. So whatever we do, we’re going to think. I don’t want it to end."

She was too smart. She knew how to make this work, him and her, and he was glad. Maybe they could make this work. "It won’t," he said.

Maria didn’t respond she just leaned over and kissed his forehead. He touch was feathery light and it tickled. Michael let out a little laugh as Maria straddled his stomach. Now he remembered why he was in this. She was perfect, sweet, pretty, smart, aggressive, and she loved him. She was all he’d ever wanted. She kissed his face, avoiding his lips, the final destination.

Michael not being one for slow torture and having no patience rolled her over so he was on top. He smashed his mouth into hers, letting his tongue sweep over he lips, letting her know what he wanted. Maria squirmed and squealed. "Excuse me," she said pushing him. He sat up looming over her small frame.

"Yes?" he teased.

"Who died and made you king?"

"Oh shut up," he said, kissing her again. This time she complied.

****

Michael ripped at her clothes. He was acting like an animal. Maria liked it. She loved when he got aggressive. He was frustrated, he couldn’t get the shirt off fast enough. He looked so sexy with that disgruntled look on his face.

Michael growing more impatient, ripped Maria’s thin tank top, right down the middle, exposing the smooth skin beneath. Maria shuttered as he traced his fingers across her stomach, going around her belly button and back up the center. His touch sent shivers up her spine and tingles all through her body. She couldn’t believe his touch. He had touched her before but not like this.

Maria reached up and pulled Michael’s shirt over his head. He sat up to make it easier for her, then crashed back down, locking their lips once more. He reached behind her to bring her closer. The feeling of his skin against hers sent a heat through her body, starting at her core and spreading outward. The feeling was amazing. He worked at her bra as her tongue stroked the inside of his mouth.

"Maria," he moaned. "Oh god." She was happy she could invoke the same feelings within him as he did her. He broke his mouth away from hers and moved his mouth down her body. He was an expert at making her feel special, of arousing her beyond belief.

Maria screamed. She couldn’t take it any longer. Now it was his turn.

****

"Are you ready?" Michael asked.

"Uh-huh," Maria replied. She looked into Michael’s eyes. She could see his concern for her, he wanted this to be perfect for her. They had had tons of fun with the foreplay, exploring each other’s bodies, teasing each other. But they had done that all before. Now they were entering into unknown territory, a land that would change the course of their relationship, a land from which they could never return.

Michael eased into her slowly, trying to make it as painless as possible. Maria closed her eyes tight as he tore the fragile tissues. "You ok? Should I stop?"

"No," Maria replied biting her lip. He leaned down, kissing her lips softly. He was too thoughtful. This would definitely be a night she would never forget. The sweet taste of his lips, the look on his face, the moonlight dancing on the floor around them, yes they were still on the floor, everything, every detail would be implanted in her memory for the rest of time.

As she became accustomed to the feeling of Michael inside of her, Maria began to relax. Michael began to experiment going in faster and slower, watching to see what got the greatest reaction.

The experience was perfect, not what Maria had always dreamed of, but then none of Maria’s dreams had ever really come true, none of them but this. Ever since she had met Michael, kissed Michael, she had dreamed of this moment. She knew he was her destiny, she was supposed to love him, make love to him.

"I love you," she whispered breathlessly, as Michael collapsed beside her for the third time that day.

****

"I love you too," he said, hugging her to him. With what strength he had left Michael stood up and carried Maria to the bed. He placed her softly onto the mattress and covered her with the blanket. He climbed in beside her, tangling himself in her arms and legs, wanting to be close to her.

He breathed her in, the scent of her hair, her skin, they mingled with each other to make Maria. The smell of their coupling was still in the air. "Sweet dreams, Maria," Michael whispered in the girl’s ear, but she was already asleep, lost in her dreams, the one place he could not be with her.

He would just have to go to sleep too. That way morning would arrive faster.

**

Sunlight streaked through the window, setting Maria’s golden hair on fire. It glistened and sparkled making a smile form on Michael’s lips. He watched her while she slept. The covers had slipped off the bed, the sheets left dangling, caught under Maria’s feet.

He watched her chest rise and fall with each breath. He wanted to take her right there and then, but he let her sleep, knowing she would need it for the day that lay ahead. He didn’t want her to have to face school or her mom or her friends. He knew he didn’t want to. He would be content to stay in the dingy apartment for the rest of his life if it meant being with her.

Amy wasn’t going to be happy. He wondered what Maria had told her. Had she told her anything? He decided to let her escape for the world. At least for a little while longer.

He looked at the clock. It read 9:00. Too late for school. Now there was really no use in waking her. Michael looked back at the sleeping girl. She looked gorgeous, too much for words. "How did I get so lucky?" he whispered into her hair. "I love you Maria." She moaned as if she heard him and pushed herself against him. He went hard immediately.

Michael traced his hands down her side. She wriggled and turned on her back. Her eyes fluttered open looking drowsily up at him. "Morning beautiful," Michael said planting a light kiss on her mouth.

****

"Mmmmm," she smiled into him reaching her hand up, grabbing the back of his head. She held his mouth to hers as she reached down to find him. He jumped at the touch. Maria giggled.

"You think that’s funny, huh?" he teased, reaching down to return the favor. As his expert hands moved in and out of her he teased her skin with his mouth and tongue.

Maria had to let go of him. She moved her hands to his shoulders, digging her fingers into them. She arched into him, into the feeling he was giving her. how did she get such a wonderful life all of a sudden?

"Michael," Maria cried. Michael pulled himself from her and kissed her.

"You all right?"

"Uh-huh," she said shaking her head. "I’m so happy I could burst."

"Me too. I love you Maria. I’m rady to tell you that. I’m ready to tell you and not run away. I’m finally ready for Maria De Luca."

Tears sprang to Maria’s eyes. Now she needed him. She had always needed him, but now more then ever she needed him to be there to keep her safe. She needed him to stay in her life as long as he could. She had given Michael Guerin a piece of her. a piece of her she could never take back, never wanted back. She had given it to him and now it was up to him what to do with the gift. She knew what needed to be and what might not. "I love you too." She smiled at him.

"I’m hungry," she said a glint in her eye. Michael started to get up. "No, you stay here." She didn’t know why she was suddenly so hungry or how she could think about it at a moment such as that. Maybe she just wanted to do something for him, after all he had done. Maybe she thought it would prove to him her love.