I can't even imagine what he thinks of me right now. That I'm a slut? That I would just run right into Kyle's arms? How can he not know this was a set up? He knows I don't love Kyle. He knows I love him. He is the love of my life, my soul mate. How can he possibly believe I would give my virginity to Kyle?

But, we are all in danger if he doesn't believe me. He has to go to Tess.

Finally he stops lurking and confronts me in the kitchen of the Crashdown. He is angry and I have to fight the fear that I feel creeping across my body. I've never seen Max angry and I'm not sure what he'll do. He insists there is more to the story, that I am hiding something. I tell them there isn't any more to the story, that I made love with Kyle, period. He withdraws, his jaw set in defiance. He still doesn't believe me, but I think he senses this is a pointless argument. After he leaves, I feel the sting of tears in my eyes. All of this is so unfair, I tell myself in a moment of self-pity. I never asked to be put in this situation. And the hurt just keeps coming.

Through the diamond-shaped Crashown kitchen window, I spy them together, Tess's arms around his shoulders. He looks wooden and doesn't return her embrace. I feel my heart sink and leap at the same time. He has to go to her, but part of me is happy that he hasn't. She smiles at him and moves away. He looks at the floor and I see his shoulders heave with a sigh.

I retreat to my bedroom. It has become my sanctuary. When I enter, I remember him, the future version of him, pleading with me to push him away. I close my eyes against the memory and start the methodical process of getting ready for bed. Routine is good. I don't have to think about it. All I have to do is go through the motions - shower, brush my teeth, comb out my hair, apply moisturizer, put on my pajamas.

I pull the covers to my chin and look toward the window. I can still see his face, his beautiful face, as he sees Kyle and me in bed together. I can't even describe his expression, but the memory of it tears through me like a dagger. I've destroyed him.

I fall into a fitful sleep. In my dreams, he is there again, lurking in my bathroom as I prepare to deceive the present version of him. He is handsome, aged, strong, lost. His eyes hold the devastation of someone who has witnessed the destruction of his world. In some weird way I want to hold him, but I know it's not really him I want to hold. I want to hold the current version of him, the youthful boy who is still full of hope and promise and a bit of innocence.

In my sleep, the events play over and over, becoming more devastating each time they come around. I reach for his hand and he is gone. I look everywhere, but he is nowhere to be found. I see Tess and Max walking away from each other, then the end of the world. I reach for them, shouting for them to understand.

I am awake. I can feel my heart thumping wildly in my chest, the sting of tears in my eyes. Someone's finger is on my lips. I think I see Max, but it can't be. He says I was dreaming, and I think I may still be because he can't be here right now. I look toward the bathroom, wondering if I am still in the middle of this, if the future version of him is still in there waiting for me to break his heart.

I get out of the bed and look behind the bathroom door. He's gone. "It was just a dream," I sigh and retreat to my bed. I pull the covers up and close my eyes. I hope I can get back to sleep tonight. I'm so tired, and I haven't slept a whole night since all of this happened. I need to sleep.

I hear my name and open my eyes. I think Max is kneeling by my bed, but that can't be either. I'm starting to hallucinate, and I fear I am losing my sanity. I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. "No, you left me," I tell the ghost before me. "You went back."

He withdraws at my comment, then touches my forehead. The contact is too real. It can't be - I won't let myself believe it. I back away from him, off the bed, but he follows me, his arms outstretched.

"No, don't do this to me," I plead. "You aren't here. You aren't real."

He tells me he is real, and I tell him we can't be together, that he has a destiny. Then he does what I least expect - he kisses me.

I feel the crackle of electricity in the air, the blinding light of the beginning of the flash. He freezes, his lips pressed against mine. He remains that way for a few moments, then I feel him slipping away from me, to the floor. He is real. And he's seen everything.

I look down at him crumpled on the floor. He looks lost, beaten. He won't look at me. I'm not sure what to say, or if there even is anything to say, so I tell him I'm sorry.

He doesn't respond, so I put my hand on his shoulder. I think I can feel him trembling. I drop to my knees in front of him and finally he looks up to meet my eyes. There are tears in his beautiful eyes, and I smile at him. I touch his hair, so thick and full, brush it away from his forehead and kiss him. It isn't enough - I put my arms around him and breathe in his scent. I feel my world centering only on him, on the smell of him, on his rhythmic breathing. I don't want to let him go.

His arms come up and pull my body close to his. It's hard to breathe and I love it. This is bad - we aren't supposed to be together. He's supposed to be with Tess. But, kneeling here holding him, I know I can't let him go.

"What are we going to do?" I ask him.

He takes my face in his hands. "We'll figure something out," he says and I believe him. I look at his lips, so close, and the need to kiss him is almost overwhelming. He pierces me with his eyes, so full of love, so full of passion. I feel my heart swell.

He becomes serious. "There are no secrets between us, Liz."

It sounds like a reprimand and I nod.

"But I understand," he continues, his voice softer. "I know why you did what you did. But I can't stop loving you. I well never stop loving you."

I feel the sting of tears and whisper an apology again.

He shakes his head, telling me that I can't be sorry. What I have done is heroic in his eyes. He doesn't think he could have done that. I want to kiss him so badly right now it is almost a physical ache, but I hear steps in the hallway. Probably Daddy.

I push Max down to the floor and point under the bed. As he slides under, I jump back into the bed and wait for the knock on the door. It is Daddy. I tell him I am okay, that I got up to get some water. As I am waiting for him to leave, all I can think about it Max under my bed. He's really here, in my room. And I know he comes prepared.

I hear Daddy walk away and glance over to see Max peeking over the mattress. I give in to my urge and grab him, kissing him hard. I hear him choke back his surprise. I have to smile to myself - Max isn't used to me being the aggressor. I pull him onto the bed with me, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I am surprised when he pulls away, but I realize it is only so he can look into my eyes. I see so much love in his eyes, so much wonder. I know how I want this night to end, so I reach for his wallet. He looks startled.

I ask him about the wallet's contents. He rattles off the usuals - driver's license, pictures, money. I know there is more, and he knows I know. He tries to explain the condom by saying he is only "hoping." I don't care what the explanation is - I'm just glad he has it.

I kiss him again. I have an uncontrollable need to touch his skin, so I slide my hands under the bottom of his shirt. I am always surprised at how smooth and soft his skin is in comparison with the hardness of his body. He lets me pull the shirt over his head and fling it out of sight.

I look at his chest, so well defined and strong. I feel my fingers shake as I reach for him, touching his muscles. He takes my hand and presses it against his skin. I can feel his heart, steady and strong, pounding rapidly beneath my palm. It amazes me that I, Liz Parker, can have this effect on him. It takes my breath away.

"It belongs to you," he says, his words soft against my ear. I gasp and feel my own heart start to thump a little faster.

I meet his eyes, and I suddenly want him to see me, all of me. I pull my own shirt over my head and fling it in the direction his shirt went. I suddenly feel self-conscious, like maybe I'm not good enough. I think with amusement that his breasts may be bigger than mine. But his smile is gentle as he reaches for me, my breast disappearing in his large hand. I notice that his hands are shaking also. He lets out a gasp and kisses me.

I need to see him, to feel him. Max and I have only gone so far before, and this will be new. I reach for his zipper, but he stops me.

"Are you sure?" he asks me, his voice soft in the darkness of my room. "Are you scared?" His words have an eerie sense of déjà vu.

I am sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. And I am also scared. Not that he will hurt me, but because this changes everything. There will be no going back. I know this. The future version of him told me as much. I nod my head to answer both questions.

He kisses my forehead, then reaches for my boxers. I can feel my whole body start to tremble with the anticipation. He rolls me on top of him and deftly skims off the shorts. I smile to myself when he uses his feet to pull them all of the way down. His hands caress my body, and I need to do the same to him.

I feel the passion rising inside of me, and all I can do is plead, "Please."

He lays me aside and begins to remove his pants. I watch in awe as his perfect body arches upward, the muscles of his stomach and shoulders contracting as he pulls his jeans from his body. He turns to look at me and I have to swallow from the amount of love and need I see in his eyes.

Neither of us ever says a word. We don't need to. I watch his face as we make love. I see every one of his expressions; I can see my own expressions in his eyes. I see worry cross his face when I give a little grimace at the initial discomfort. But the pain quickly subsides and we are connected, physically and mentally. I can feel his passion, every sensation his body is experiencing, and I know he can feel me. I will never again question how to please him - I know what he likes because I can feel his excitement in my own body; he knows what I like. The future version of him was right - this will change everything and nothing will ever come between us again.

Later, we hold each other and cry. There is almost something comical in that. I cuddle in against his warm body, reveling in the feel of him, the smell of him, and the fact that he is mine. He kisses the top of my head.

I think briefly of Tess. I hope he can do something to keep her around. I never intended to give in to him, not this quickly. But it was meant to be.

I can see his features becoming clearer as the room lightens. Soon the sun will rise and he will leave. I know he will be back, though. He will never stay away now.