Audra rubbed her eyes and realized it was morning. She whipped her head to the alarm clock. It was past 9:30! That’s why James wasn’t there.

Leaping up from her bed, she grabbed any clean clothes. Looking outside, she saw that it was actually sunny for once. Living in the normally cold and drab city of Boston, the hot sun was only a summer thing. Audra grabbed a relatively clean shirt and skirt, and headed out the door.

*****

It had been another restless night for Max. He had wanted to try sleeping pills, but was afraid that it would have some fatal chemical reaction to his “unusual” situation. So, he continued to live as he did.

A typical day consisted of waking up from yet another sleepless night, tending to Anna Lisa, eating some haphazard breakfast, dropping Anna off at a day care center, heading off to school, working part time at night, picking up his daughter after he was done, coming home, feeding Anna, attempting to feed himself, studying, taking care of Anna, not sleeping… and the cycle continued, day in and day out.

It had been hard for Max to find an apartment. His parents agreed to help him, though he had lost touch with them also. He would call a few times a year, but other than the check that came monthly in the mail, his communication tie had been severed.

He refused to talk to anyone about Liz. He wouldn’t talk to his parents. And as for friends, he had none. He was the only student in his class that had a child, so he didn’t go out for drinks or whatever the rest of the class did to celebrate exams, or, more frequently (and humorously), things like Tuesdays. He had many more responsibilities than the rest could ever imagine. He had cut himself off from anyone around him. At first, everyone was puzzled. Max was young -- 25, and one would think he’d want to have fun. But as soon as his peers realized he was different than them, they ignored him.

Max had never felt so alone in his life.

To relieve the pain of his days, he would remember Liz. The memories he had of Liz, along with his life with Anna, were his only true sources of his meager happiness. He would give anything to bring Liz back. Max had tried hard to shut out the day she died from his memory bank. To think of her in the pain she must have gone through -- he would never forgive himself.

Liz had been in labor. He had to deliver Anna himself -- they couldn’t go to doctors. It had been relatively easy. In fact, the entire pregnancy had been much easier than they both had expected it to be. Max had never seen anyone as happy as Liz had been the instant she saw their daughter.

*I want to name her Anna Lisa.*

*That’s a beautiful name.*

*She’s such a beautiful girl.*

*She looks just like you, Liz.*

*I love you, Max.*

*I love you.*

He had left her alone for mere minutes. He had just turned to clean up Anna. But when Max came back, Liz was gone. He couldn’t understand. He had only left for minutes.

Max didn’t know what to do. He had searched high and low for months on end, but to no avail. She was nowhere to be found.

Then, one day, he got the phone call. The police had given up the search. They said that they would keep some investigators on the case. But Max knew better. They wouldn’t.

He still tried to find her. But anything he did proved futile. Slowly, but surely, Max was losing hope. He was starting to believe what the police had been insinuating. That Liz, his sole source of survival, his symbol of beauty, compassion, and love, was dead.

The agony Max felt that day was nothing compared to what Liz must have experienced. If he didn’t have to care for Anna, Max would have killed himself. But he knew Liz would want him to care for Anna Lisa. He knew it as well. But any time Max thought about what Liz had to have gone through, he dove deeper into his depression.

And he truly believed it was all his fault. He could have saved her, he constantly told himself, if only he hadn’t been so selfish. If he had just left things platonic with her, way back, in high school. If he had never shown her that they were meant to be together. He could have saved her, himself, and Anna from ever experiencing this kind of pain.

Max tried to blot out these memories. He tried to think of Liz, full of life and vitality. Her beautiful soul simply emitted into her features. If Liz was beautiful on the outside, she was even more incredibly beautiful on the inside. Max felt so honored and loved that only he had been able to see inside her. To be able to connect with the one person who meant more to him than his own life and safety themselves.

Every day he had shared with Liz was even better than the last. But the night they shared that brought Anna into their world was among the best. Max had never been closer to Liz than that day, and he didn’t even think that was possible. It was the single most beautiful, amazing and wonderful experience of both of their lives. Max honestly didn’t know where his body ended and where Liz’s began. It was as if they were one. The way it was meant to be. The way it should have been…

But it wasn’t.

Liz had barely even seen Anna Lisa. If only Max hadn’t turned around… He should have heard something. Liz would have screamed if someone had taken her away. ‘If only I hadn’t been so preoccupied… If only I wasn’t such an idiot…’ Max chastised himself every second of every minute of every hour of every day. To have had Liz and not only to let her get away, but to completely lose her was all his fault.

Because of his stupidity, he believed, Anna Lisa was without a mother. He was without his soulmate. And Liz, his beautiful, sweet Liz, was without life.

*****

Audra hurried home from school. For some reason, she really needed to be home. She’d been having the strangest headache all day, and all she wanted to do was come home.

Audra walked through the door, and saw James deeply engulfed in a conversation on the phone. He had his back turned to her, so she tapped him on the shoulder to greet him. James jumped in total shock. Gasping he turned around.

“Audra! You scared me!”

Audra was confused. All she did was tap him lightly. Why was he so jittery?

“I’ll call you back,” James said quickly into the phone, and then he hung it up. His eyes were flashing, but he had a smile on his face. “Sorry.”

“Who was that?” Audra said nervously.

“Oh, that? That was just… a friend.”

“Oh…” Audra’s voice trailed off.

“So,” he said, apparently trying to change the subject. “What are you doing home so early?”

“Why? Do you not want to see me?” Audra meant it as a joke, but James didn’t laugh.

“No... I just wanted to know if you were feeling okay.”

Audra sighed. “I’m fine, James, thanks.”

“Great,” James replied, and after Audra continued to look at him, he put his arms around her.

“So, what do you want to do tonight?”

“I don’t know. I’m actually kind of tired…”

“Do you mind I spend the night out with the guys?” James asked quickly.