He jumped in and saved her without thinking--it was almost a reflex. You see someone you care about in trouble, you help them. Simple. As natural as healing a bird with a broken wing is to a child--if you happen to be an alien child. And then, it was such a dream come true--not only did he save her life--and what guy has'nt had fantasies of heroically saving the girl of his dreams, and having her throw her arms around him in gratitude afterward?

Well, she had'nt done that, but Liz suddenly wanted to know him, to know all about him, wanted to understand him. She was scared at first, but her scientific side was intrigued enough to sit down calmly with her little list of questions. He grinned to himself, remembering. And it felt so good to tell someone finally, and to have it be Liz he was telling.

The attraction that had always just been one-way before, just Max watching Liz from a distance, was suddenly mutual. And he'd backed off from it at first, at the Crashdown Festival--he'd tried to be strong and do the right thing. But the attraction just got stronger.

He heard a noise down at the front of the auditorium - The music teacher was opening the piano and setting up some music on it. A tall dark-haired kid Max had seen around was standing next to the piano, shifting from foot to foot. Max wanted to get up and slip out, but he didn't want to attract their attention.

The teacher began playing the introduction to some song, and the kid was nodding his head and tapping his foot. Max could see the guy's whole body getting ready, like he was about to jump out of a plane with a parachute.

Instead, he started to sing:

AI loved you once, in silence, and misery was all I knew, trying hard to keep my love from showing.." The guy's voice cracked here and he stopped, his face turned red, and he shook his head angrily.

"That's okay," the music teacher said, "Let's take it from the top."

Max looked down at his book again and tried to concentrate, but the words of the song filtered through. What show was the drama group putting on? He tried to picture the poster he'd seen in the hall. He was pretty sure they were going to do "Camelot." He did'nt get much involved with school plays. For one thing, even if he was'nt an alien trying to avoid being noticed, keeping a low profile, he was also shy, and the thought of standing up there on that stage, with a bright light on him, and every eye in the school watching him--he'd rather go turn his sister in to Sheriff Valenti right now than do that! And he was'nt much of a singer, either. He had to give this guy credit. Though that kid wasn't much of a singer himself.

"Yes, loved you in lonesome silence..."

Max swallowed. It was almost like, whoever wrote this song must've known him.. and how he felt about Liz! The boy messed up the song again and stopped, and they went back to discuss how to sing a phrase better. Max looked at his book again, tuning out the music.

"The silence at last was broken, we flung wide our prison doors. Every joyous word of love was spoken..."

The boy stopped, as a girl came down to the front on the other side of the piano, and dropped her bookbag on the stage. "Sorry I'm late. The math teacher kept me after class." The music teacher started explaining what they were doing. The girl spit her gum into a tissue, and tossed it into the trash can.

Max thought about Liz again. That's what it was like at first, like being let out of prison, out of the self-imposed prison of secrets and silence he'd built around himself, stepping out into the sunlight of Liz's smile. He felt so good, so free. He thought about touching that hair of hers he had always been fascinated by - it felt softer and silkier than he'd ever pictured it. Sometimes he'd touch the silky fabric of some outfit of Isabel's in the laundry basket and wonder if that was what Liz's hair would be like. And she smelled so good. Clean and fresh, a little sweet. And he thought about kissing her out on the balcony that night, finally Max Evans and Liz Parker--holding her in his arms. It was way better than he'd ever imagined. Kissing her shyly, softly at first, and then just melting together with her so that he almost forgot where he ended and she began. The power of it astonished him. And frightened him. It was like one of those reactions the teacher told them about in chemistry class. Like tossing a chunk of sodium into the middle of the lake and--poof--no lake!

"Then one day we cast away our secret longing/The raging tide we held inside would hold no more"...

And that one perfect date they had together--playing pool, eating together, laughing. Dancing together. She had on that short little top with her waist bare. Touching her bare skin while they danced... Her parents were away. He thought about science class again, and the two big metal magnets sliding towards each other across the top of the lab table and clanging together. But then Michael got sick, and everything started to go wrong.

Everyone was angry with him--Michael, Isabel. Kyle hated his guts, the FBI and Topolsky were nosing around, and the Sheriff was watching him like a lizard in the sun, always watching him with those cold blue eyes as if he were a tasty bug and the lizard-sheriff was just waiting to flick out his tongue and nail him. Now Liz was mad at him, avoiding him, Mom had gotten totally freaked out after the fire...nothing was going right. Everything was so messed up, so complicated. Maria was mad at Michael. Something weird was going on with Isabel and Alex, he hadn't quite figured that one out yet. His life was totally coming apart at the seams.

Saving Liz turned out not to be so simple. Loving Liz, having her love him back--that turned out to be very complicated too.

"Now we have twice as much grief, twice the pain for us. Twice the despair, twice the pain for us. Than we had known before." The boy and girl sang together sweetly...well, not quite together.

Max shut his eyes for a second and took a breath. Yes, exactly. Instead of loving each other being joyous, it had just led to way more pain and complications. Just when they'd finally found each other, they'd also found clues to their past, to their origins. How could he be with her, when he didn't know anything about himself--how long he might live, if he could break out into webs tomorrow like Michael did--Liz was so scared when Michael got sick, what if it had been him? Max wondered if he was going to start killing people like the 4th alien.

Maybe they are normal until, what, 20, 21--and then they go crazy from being on earth and start to kill people! What if he killed Liz by mistake! What if loving her.. what if, when they made love.. If they made love... If it were possible.. It was bad for her somehow, if he hurt her, if it killed her! He clenched his jaw and stifled a groan.

And what if it wasn't bad? What if, as it had been so far, what if loving her was the most incredibly perfect wonderful most beautiful thing Max had ever had in his life on earth. What if he got so close to her, that he could never leave her, never leave this place. Could he chose between his sister, his best friend, and the girl he loved. Would he even have a choice? Would he just be 'called home' and have to go?

"I loved you once in silence, and misery was all I knew. Trying hard to keep my love from showing, all the while not knowing, you loved me, too." They were singing again. The boy was looking at the girl. His cheeks burned red. She smiled at him and looked down at her feet.

Max gathered up his books and hurried out of the auditorium as quietly as he could, away from the music that mocked him, away from his frightening thoughts. He just wanted to run, run as fast and as far as he could, until he couldn't run anymore, and then just fling himself onto the ground. But he was Max Evans. And, as Michael said, "No more running." He squared his shoulders, clamped down on his emotions as best he could, and headed down the hall of Roswell High. Blending in, being unobtrusive, acting casual. Loving Liz. Trying not to die inside. He wondered how things worked out for the couple in the play. He thought about going to see the show. No, other things right now were much too important.

* End*