But now they all knew. And Tess cringed to even contemplate what they must be thinking of her right now.

It had taken so long for them to get over their mistrust of her after the way she and Nacedo had come into their lives. If they ever truly had gotten over it. Now this was going to arouse their suspicion of her all over again. And the thought of having to prove herself, and win them over once more, left her feeling weary and disheartened. She honestly didn’t know if it was even worth the effort. Because she wasn’t sure if they would ever really accept her completely.

Max offered the only bright ray of hope in the entire situation. Tess’ throat tightened upon remembering his words to her before they’d left Michael’s apartment. He was so amazing in his generosity and loyalty. He’d given her the closest thing to complete acceptance and genuine friendship she’d ever known. And she didn’t deserve it. She was only going to end up hurting him in the end, simply by being near him. Tess was sure of it. Because she had the blood of a traitor running through her veins.

The first time she’d been informed of this fact had been a couple of months earlier when Whitaker had kidnapped her the day of Isabel’s eighteenth birthday. Initially, the Congresswoman had acted pleasant enough after taking her to the eerily deserted Power Plant in Chavez, but the fact that she’d run Tess’ SUV off the road, and then had dragged her off into the night with the help of a couple of other peeling-faced Skins, had kind of tipped Tess off to the fact that they weren’t exactly paying her a social call.

Whitaker had told Tess the story of who she was with the same gentle smugness that she’d later used with Isabel when telling her the story of Vilaandra. The similarities between the two tales had been yet another reason to believe they had only been lies designed to make them question their loyalties to Max. The Congresswoman had acted as though she’d expected Tess to receive the revelation of her identity with thankfulness, and would switch over to their side without compunction, telling her how pleased her brother was that they had finally found her.

Ties to a real family had been something Tess had longed for all her life, but she’d been utterly appalled to learn that her one claim to a relation was a man that had stolen her former husband’s throne from him, and still sat there ruling illegitimately. And of course no one had said it, but Tess thought it was safe to assume that he’d also been the one who had been ultimately responsible for the deaths of their four alien predecessors, herself included, just so he could take that throne.

She’d been further horrified when Whitaker had disclosed the reason why they expected her to turn on Max so easily. It had been because Ava had done it before. Their plan had been for Ava to turn the Granolith over to Khivaar when they’d been back on Antaar, but the Royal Four had ended up dead before she could complete her mission.

Tess had patently refused to believe anything she said, acidly accusing her of lying just to manipulate her loyalties, and staunchly refusing to betray Max that way. In hindsight, that probably hadn’t been the smartest move she could’ve made. There was something to be said for a little diplomacy.

Whitaker had replied with a sickeningly false commiseration, saying that it was really too bad if she was going to refuse to see reason, because Khivaar had given her the full authority to carry out whatever act she felt necessary to bring Tess around to their way of thinking.

And only moments later, the punishment had begun. Sometimes from the completely human blows of the fists, and even feet, of Whitaker’s two cronies, and at others, the cruel impact of alien blasts of power on her body. Tess had never felt such pain in all her life, and it had seemed to go on for hours and hours.

And then Nicholas had come on the scene. He’d promised he could make it all stop and take her pain away if only she would tell them what they wanted to know. It had been the first time she’d ever laid eyes on the small alien enemy, and if she’d been capable of it at the time, she would’ve laughed in the kid’s face for acting as if he had any authority over the situation, and had the power to rescue her. It had probably been a saving grace that she’d been hurting too much and had been too out of it to act upon her first impulse and mock him. She’d still held out against them though, and the torture had continued, with Nicholas interrupting every so often with an offer to save her if she’d give in. It had played out like some farcical scenario of good cop/bad cop, except looking into the dark depths of Nicholas’ cold, empty eyes had kept Tess from seeing him as the savior he was attempting to play.

Finally, he’d put a stop to the beating, saying it was no longer amusing him, and had used his powers to rape her of her thoughts and find out for himself that she hadn’t even known the location of the Granolith at that time. He’d grown angry then, and had told her torturers to resume their activities to punish her for being such a ‘naughty girl’ in wasting their time. He’d even joined in himself, that time, and had threatened to keep it up until Tess either agreed to help them in their cause or she was dead. As worthless as she was to them, he’d said, he hadn’t cared which.

Tess had hardly even known what she was saying when she’d finally agreed to whatever they wanted. She’d been so far past the point of pain, she hadn’t even been able to feel any more, and she’d truly been afraid she was about to die. She probably would’ve said anything at that point just to make them stop.

But once she’d been free, she’d had no intentions of being true to her word. Each time they’d tried to contact her for information over the next month or so, she’d managed to avoid them. Since Isabel had killed Whitaker, Tess had thought she’d taken care of the whole problem once and for all when she’d done away with the little twerp, along with all the rest of his alien crew. But he’d shown her in New York just how wrong she was.

When she’d seen Nicholas there at that summit, she’d been terrified that he would implicate her somehow in front of Max, and she’d wanted to avoid that at all costs. Max had finally begun to let her in, and she’d been so afraid of anything that might jeopardize that.

She still wasn’t sure why Nicholas had kept quiet about their previous association. She was sure he had to have been angry with her. After all, she had tried to fry him to a crisp. At that point, he surely couldn’t have still held out the hope that she would help him to spy on Max and the others. But then, who could know how his devious little mind worked?

One thing she could be sure of, it hadn’t been out of any sense of generosity on his part. And it hadn’t been because he’d changed his agenda at all. He’d proven that when Laanie and Rath had taken her to him after they’d attempted to kill Max.

That whole episode in the sewers was fuzzy in her mind. One minute Nicholas had been threatening her with another mind rape if she didn’t volunteer the information they wanted, and the next Max had been there, asking if she were alright. She had no idea what had happened once Nicholas had begun his magic mind-sucking act, but obviously, he hadn’t learned what he wanted to know, or he would’ve had them all dead, and be on his way back home with the Granolith by now.

Tess didn’t know if all this mindwarping business with Liz was a part of his little fun and games or not, but she somehow doubted it. She hadn’t heard a word from him in the week since they’d come back from the city, and she was almost sure she would have if he were around. She had no idea where he was now, or what he was up to, and that made her extremely nervous.

She’d felt so guilty for keeping all this information from the others, and most especially from Max. It felt like she was betraying him anyway with her silence. And they really did need to know that their duplicates were in cahoots with Nicholas. But they were already wary enough of their other selves because of what they’d tried to do to Max, so Tess hadn’t thought it would hurt that much for them to remain unaware of this small piece of news.

She was just so worried that if her friends got even a hint that there was some kind of a connection between her and Nicholas, that they would shut her out again. Or maybe something even worse. And after becoming so close to Max, and beginning to gain a place in their group, it would kill her if they turned their backs on her now.

But she knew that as long as this association with Nicholas did exist, she was only bringing danger to them all by staying among them. Once Nicholas got the information he wanted, it would be all over for them. And now that she knew her tie to Khivaar was legitimate, she didn’t think Nicholas would ever give up trying to ‘recruit’ her for their side.

If she truly wanted to do what was best for everyone, she would take up her old life-style, and go back to the running and hiding routine she’d learned in living with Nacedo. And now that they all knew the ugly truth of who she was, she couldn’t think of any reason why she shouldn’t go.

Except for one, she acknowledged, as Kyle repeated his earlier question with gentle concern.

“Tess, you’re really worrying me, here. Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?”

The events of the past two months had been fitfully playing through her mind in scattered bits and pieces, and though Kyle’s concerned query registered this time, it still seemed like he was speaking to her from a vast distance.

Fleetingly, she glanced his way, her blue eyes dull and filled with conflict.

If she left, who would watch after Kyle? She would be leaving him without protection against any enemies that might come his way because of his connection to the alien royalty. Of course, he had his dad, another person she suddenly realized she would miss terribly, but if it came to an alien show of power, the sheriff wouldn’t even be able to protect himself, much less his son. They both needed her. In more ways than one.

If she wasn’t here, who would listen to Kyle babble on about his desire to be like a solitary cloud hugging a mountain, and the unreality of reality? And who would help him with his biology homework to make sure he would have enough science credits to graduate next year? Who would see to it that Jim had a clean uniform every day, and that he always had a nutritious meal packed so he wouldn’t skip the noon meal? Who would make Kyle his favorite three-cheese potato gratin on Sundays so the men would have a decent meal, instead of just snacking on beer nuts and pork rinds while watching sports all day?

Tess loved doing all those things for them. It made her feel as if they needed her. If the truth be known, she would probably be more lost without them now than they would be without her.

But she represented a danger to them as well. If Nicholas were to ever take it in his head to use one of them to get her to do what he wanted, she would give in to him in an instant. There was no way she would ever be able to just stand by and watch them be hurt because of her. Nacedo would say she’d become weak by allowing herself to feel so much human emotion, and letting herself get attached this way, and maybe he would be right. She only knew she’d been happier these past two months, becoming a part of the lives of these two special men, than she’d ever been in her life. But if she stayed, it would be for purely selfish reasons. Kyle and Jim would probably get along just fine without her. They always had before. And in fact, they would probably be better off without her. If she weren’t a constant alien presence in their house, maybe they could distance themselves a little from the whole alien business, and all that stuff wouldn’t be such a disruption of their lives. She knew Kyle especially had been having a hard time dealing with it.

Yes, she decided, it would probably be best for everyone if she just left. Slipped from their lives as if she’d been nothing more than a brief interruption.

“Tess,” Kyle said insistently, really worried now by her failure to answer him. “Talk to me. Are you okay?”

Her answer, when she finally gave it, was so faint he barely heard it. “I shouldn’t be here.”

His brows drew down into a frown. That hadn’t been anything he’d expected her to answer. “Where should you be?” he asked in confusion.

“Anywhere,” Tess replied tonelessly. “Anywhere but here.”

Kyle’s heart lurched in trepidation. “You’re talkin’ in a broader sense than just right here in this car, aren’t you?”

She was still staring sightlessly out the windshield, and at first, he didn’t think she was going to answer. When she finally did, she only repeated dully, “I shouldn’t be here.”

“Of course you should, Tess. What are you talkin’ about?” Kyle said sharply, full-blown dread now filling his stomach with lead. Was she actually thinking of leaving Roswell? “This is your home,” he told her emphatically. “Where else do you think you should be?”

“This isn’t my home, Kyle,” she denied flatly. She used to think home was another world, with a husband who loved her and a people who revered her as their beloved queen. But now all that home represented was the life of a person she didn’t want to be, with a brother she wanted no part of. And home wasn’t here either, no matter what life in Roswell had brought about for her the past several months. Nicholas had taken care of that fantasy. “I have no home,” she declared dispiritedly.

“Stop talking like that, Tess,” Kyle demanded fearfully. “You’ve called my house ‘home’ for the past two months. Why do you think anything’s changed?”

She didn’t reply, and Kyle was deeply disturbed by her entire attitude. Even when she had answered him, her voice had been a monotone, sounding lifeless and detached. She was retreating, he realized with a flash of insight that deepened his apprehension. He could almost feel her literally pulling away, as if preparing herself for a break of all her ties here.

Desperately, he said, “Tess, it doesn’t matter to anybody who you were related to in another life. The only thing that means now is that maybe you share a few of the same genes with him or something. You’re only semi-related to him now, at best. And who cares if you have a distant relative who happens to be an evil monarch anyway? I’ve got a grandfather who’s off his rocker, does that make you look at me any differently?”

She finally stopped her pointless staring out the window to give him a look, and he chose to take that as a hopeful sign.

“Okay, so it’s not exactly the same thing,” he conceded. “But the point I’m tryin’ to make here is that even if Khivaar is your brother, that’s no reason for you to feel guilty, or- ashamed or whatever. It’s not like you did anything wrong.”

He couldn’t know how his words stabbed at Tess’ heart. As a sentiment meant to soothe her, it failed miserably. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Kyle,” she said heavily.

They’d reached the front of the Valenti house, and Kyle pulled into the driveway and shut off the car’s engine before replying to her.

Turning in his seat so he was facing her, he looked into her eyes and said earnestly, “I know that if you think this thing somehow means that anyone’s not gonna want you around, you’re completely wrong, Tess. And your home is here. Here in Roswell. In this house. With me. A-and my dad,” he tacked on hastily. Not wanting to make either of them uncomfortable by saying too much, but unwilling to just quietly let her walk away, he went on with awkward hesitance. “We need you here, Tess. You’re like- part of our family now,” he confessed with lowered eyes. “And Max and those guys need you too. Aren’t they always saying how important it is for the four of you to stick together? Finding out about Ava doesn’t change any of that,” he pointed out.

Tess just looked at him for a long moment, her lips an unhappy curve. As she gazed into his eyes, she wondered irrelevantly how she could’ve missed seeing before how deep and caring, and how very heart-meltingly blue they were. They seemed to hold the gentle promise of something indefinable. Something unexpected and unique, meant only for her. With a pang, she suddenly realized just how much Kyle had come to mean to her. How was she ever going to be able to leave him behind? She would be leaving all the light and laughter in her life right along with him.