He really did change me; Ava confirmed this and more. We are connected, Max and I. I wonder, then, if he know my feelings. He knew once. He may not know the facts, but he must be able to tell something from my eyes. Something…

I’m glad we’re friends now.

***

“Maria!” We are sitting cross-legged on my bed. “Do you know what he said to me?” I keep reminding myself to calm down, reminding myself about the whole settling idea. But it’s not working. I’m inordinately excited, anyway.

“He believes in me, Maria.” I’ve already recounted the whole story for her twice. I’m so glad I told her, so glad that I finally have someone to talk to about the whole situation. It’s so wonderful to be able to be completely honest with her again.

Maria stares at me for a while. Too long. A sad look passes into her eyes. No. Please. She squeezes my hands in hers. “This whole thing just isn’t fair, you know?” Then she perks up a bit. “I’m with Michael; you should be able to be with—“

“What would he do if he knew?”

“Girlfriend,” she puts her hands on my cheeks and turns my face towards hers, “do you even need to ask that? He would say that you’re so noble and amazing and that he totally understands you. And then,” Maria grabs my hands and beams excitedly into my eyes. I start to smile, too, as she continues her speech. “He would take you in his arms and kiss you more passionately than you’ve ever been kissed”—we actually start giggling—“and say, ‘You are my destiny, Liz.’”

This makes me a little sad—the whole destiny thing. “What about Tess, Maria?”

Her smile fades. “I don’t know. Michael doesn’t seem too interested in fulfilling his destiny with Isabel.” I start to speak, but Maria holds up her hand, motioning for me to stop. “I know—I know it’s different for you two, Liz.” Maria scoots over next to me on the bed and puts her arm around my shoulders.

I lean my head on her shoulder. She’s such a great friend. “Maria?”

“What?”

“In the beginning, he said he knew we would get hurt sometime down the line. But I said that it was okay to move forward anyway. I—it didn’t matter. I didn’t care.” What I don’t say is that we both, at one point, had begun to irrationally hope—hope that we would never be separated again, that we would be together always. But it didn’t work out that way. I’m so—I don’t know. “Maybe it would’ve been better.”

Maria leans back a bit so that she can see my face. “Been better? What do you mean?”

“If he hadn’t been in the Crashdown that day.” My eyes begin to fill. “There’s nothing I can do now.”

“What are you talking about?” Maria bends her head down so that she can look into my eyes. “Do you know what it would be like if you had died that day, Liz?”

“Max and Tess would be together”—I sniffle—“and neither of us would ever have felt this pain we feel right now.”

“What about me and Alex?” Maria’s voice starts getting higher and cracks. “And your family? We need you, Liz.”

I just stared at her and kept crying in little, hiccupping sobs. “It’s just so hard to lie to him, Maria. Max would be so much better off if he just hadn’t saved my life that day.”

“Max has loved you since the first time he saw you back in third grade.”

I shot Maria a questioning look.

“He didn’t tell you?” My face must’ve said no because she continued with, “Well, he sure told me more than once over the summer. He’s not in love with Tess. Max loves you, Liz. He could never love Tess the way he loves you.”

“But he… he could love her, Maria.”

“You know what you can do, Liz?”

I can’t believe she keeps egging me on. I just don’t want to think about it. I’ve been thinking about it too much these past months. “There’s nothing I can do. The only thing, the best thing I can do is leave them all alone to their own devices. They’re strong, the four of them. They—”

“You can be there for him, Liz. You can be there for him. He’ll always, always need you.”

I draw in a breath sharply.

“C’mere, babe.” And Maria hugs me.

***

Three days later, I’m closing the Crashdown by myself when I hear a knock on the glass.

It’s Max.

I walk over and unlock the door.

“Liz?”

I can’t decipher his expression.

“Can I talk to you?”

I say, “Of course” and lead him over to a table. We sit down, and suddenly it hits me. Or it’s more like a wave washes over me. I know. I know that I will always be there for him, no matter what, just like he will always be there for me.

I believe.