"Are you happy, Liz?" She ponders the question for a moment. Is she happy? She hears herself answer, "Yes," but wonders if it’s true. She smiles and Maria’s eyes begin to tear.

"Don’t start crying again, Maria, or you’ll get me going," she says, grabbing her friend into an embrace. "You don’t want me walking down the aisle sobbing, now do you?"

Maria looks up to keep the tears from falling, wipes at her eyes. "No, no. You’re right. I’m just so thrilled for you I think I could burst!"

"Is it really for me or for the weekend you’re going to spend with Alex?"

She laughs as Maria’s alabaster skin assumes a distinctly redder hue.

"He told you!"

"Of course he told me. You know Alex has never been able to keep anything from me." She frowns, a mock hurt expression on her face. "Frankly I’m not sure I want my Best Woman ?" Maria had objected to the term Maid of Honor on the grounds that it was demeaning to women ? "to be someone who can keep that juicy of a secret from me. So if you still want to walk down that aisle ahead of me, you’d better start spilling the details."

Maria sighs, resigned to having been found out by Liz again, and drops onto one of the high backed chairs. "Oh, Liz, it’s been so wonderful." Her face is alive with newfound love, her voice full of wonder. Liz is so happy for her friend. But as she talks, Liz’s mind wanders to another time, another secret love of Maria’s that Liz discovered. She wonders where Michael is now, if he’s alright.

She suspects not. Somewhere in her heart she knows that Isabel’s death was too much for him. She can understand. Who could survive such a loss? Never mind surviving it twice. Because despite all his coldness, Liz always knew that Michael had burned for Maria just as Max had burned forher.

"Earth to Liz. Are you there?" Maria is waving her hand in front of Liz’s face. Guilt washes over her."Maria, I’m so sorry. I just-"

"Lost touch with the world for a minute? It’s okay. I’ve been told imminent marriage will do that to you. That’s why I wanted to wait to tell you about me and Alex. When you come back from the honeymoon, you’ll call me and I’ll get your undivided attention for hours on end."

"Absolutely." A firm promise. Their hug is interrupted by a knock on the door. Her father.

"Are you ready, honey?"

*****

She can feel Max’s presence the instant she sets foot in the chapel. She doesn’t need to see him to know he’s nearby. His eyes burn into her, as always, and she fights the urge to find them and see what’s there.

Desperate longing and burning passion wash over her at once. Is it his or hers? It’s gone too quickly for her to tell and she’s left with a numbing solitude.

She knows that if she closes her eyes, she’ll be able to feel him inside of her, feel his arms around her, the heat of his skin against hers. But with her eyes open all she can remember is the pain of waking up alone again.

The touch of Sean’s hand to hers shakes her from her thoughts. She realizes that she doesn’t remember walking down the aisle. The guilt that has been threatening to choke her everyday for the last six months rises up in her throat. Her mind wanders back over all the time she’s spent with Sean. All the considerate little things he’s done ? that he still does.

She thinks of the lilies she’s constantly finding in her locker at work. Of the gentle way he scolds her when she forgets to eat. Of all the times he carried her to bed after she fell asleep at her desk.

He had only asked once about what made her so sad. Why she sometimes cried for no reason. Why she dreaded going home. She’d said there were some things better left in the past. And then he’d held her as she cried, somehow understanding without having to be told that her past held nothing but pain for her; that he would not be able to heal those wounds. That the best thing he could do would be to offer her a better present ? and a future. Three days later, he’d asked her to move in with him and they’d hardly been apart since.

Sean squeezes her hand lightly, as if to say, "I’m here. I’ll always be here." A wave of warmth and comfort runs through her body. Her eyes catch Maria’s and Liz is graced by the brilliance of a full-on Maria Deluca smile, despite the tears coursing down Maria’s cheeks. Looking over at Alex, Liz wonders absently how long it will be until it’s Maria Whitman.

He’s practically glowing and Liz knows it’s not all ? or even mostly ? for her.

And then she finds her parents, sitting in the front row, filled to bursting with their joy for her.

Sean raises the vail, brushing her hair and cheek as his hand passes. Her eyes meet his. She sees the love that he has for her, how wonderful he is. She can’t help but surrender to the warmth of him.

His eyes don’t burn like Max’s.

And then it hits her. Finally, she’s at peace with that. From some place very deep inside of her, a warmth and a love and a happiness overcome her. She realizes that she does love Sean. She hasn’t been lying to him and to herself for all these months. He loves her and she returns it. And now he’s going to be her partner, her husband.

Her thoughts turn again to Max, her soulmate in so many ways. She radiates the love she feels, hoping that somehow the connection that has existed between them since the day he saved her life is strong enough for him to sense her contentment, her peace of mind.

That she’s going to be okay.

That she’s in love and she’s protected.