I check the clock for maybe the seventh time. I sigh, still two more hours. I look over into the living room, my mother is still there. Sleeping on the couch. I hear her sigh and turn over. She is always restless when she sleeps. Almost always anyway. I wonder what she dreams of to make her restless like this. I flip the picture over in my hand. It still shows my mother and father. It still shows her beautiful smile. I can still see the glow from her face, from joy, from happiness. A tear streams down my face. Why can't I see it anymore?

I stroke her face, as if trying to touch the glow from her face. Suddenly I see her again. She's a little older than she is in the picture. She looks exhausted but that glow is still there. She is in a hospital, I realize that now. She's holding two little bundles. I see my father looking from her, to the two babies in her arms. Joy is etched on both of their faces. The image fades.

I realize that this is the second time I have seen images from my mothers past. I shiver, not from the cold. Is this normal? Or am I imagining it? I touch the picture again wondering if I would see another picture.

My thoughts are interrupted by another sigh from my mother. Still touching the picture I think again about what she is dreaming. And suddenly I'm asleep. Confused I wonder how I am asleep, yet still conscious. I see a room in front of me. I move towards it. Now I realize that it is a gym, like the one from my school.

I see people, dancing, laughing. Music is playing. A banner is stretched across the ceiling. "Prom of 2001" Prom? I wonder. I hear a faintly familiar laugh. I look, it is my mother dancing with a man. I recognize him, my father.

"Mom!" I yell, she turns, but. she doesn't see me.

"Liz, come on." My father urges. She smiles that radiant smile and follows him. I follow. They laugh at their own happiness, and want to laugh too. I have never seen them both together, so happy. Or have I? That image. them in the park. It did happen, my own mother explained it me. What's going on. I wonder.

"Liz, calm down!" Max says still laughing, she smiles.

"Me? Calm down?" She puts her hands on her hips. "What's this about Evans?"

Evans. my last name should be Evans. I should be with Jeremy. brother and sister. My parents should be together, happy, like they are now.

Suddenly his face turns serious, the scene changes, they're in a bedroom now. The bed is tousled, I can hear babies crying in the background. They go ignored for a moment. They look older now, not young and happy like they were. I can still see the joy, but it is muddled by an inevitable sadness.

"Max, you can't." My mother begs him.

Tears are forming in their eyes, dread washes over me. I feel her dread, I feel his sadness.

He reaches up and touches her face, gently stroking her face. He pushes a strand of hair back from her face. A tear slides down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry Liz." He whispers. He leans down slowly and gently kisses her. Slowly, he fades. Fades into the background almost. Then he is gone. My mother opens her eyes slowly.

"He's gone." She whispers. Suddenly she hears the cry of her two children. She turns to leave the room.

"Mommy?" A voice cries. She looks to the door, a little girl is in the doorway.

"Evelyn, darling." She picks her up. Evelyn. I wonder, could this be my sister? I look over her, she's maybe four or five. What happened to her.

"Mommy? Where did Daddy go?"

A look of sadness crosses her face, quickly replaced with a fake smile. "He's gone, but don't worry about it right now. It's time for you to go back to bed."

"Mommy" She repeats, over and over again. Tears stream down her face.

"No!" My mother cries, the little girl in her hand slowly fades away, just like my father did. "No!" She cries again, I can feel her pain racking through my own body. Tears stream down my face. Her head snaps up.

"Natalie, Jeremy." She whispers. She leaps to her feet and runs into the hall. Down the hall, into a nursery. Two toddler, maybe one or two years old, are standing up in a single crib. Me, and Jeremy, I think. We even shared a crib. I smile at this thought, but the smile quickly fades. Jeremy disappears. I see the tears on the face of the little girl I once was.

"He took him." She whispers. She slowly makes her way over to the bed. "Michael took your brother." Ragged tears stream down her face. She picks up the crying baby. I hear her nonsense chatter. I hear her nonsense thoughts. I realize that she is crying over the loss of her brother. the loss of the brother she loved. She loved him. I loved him. I realize I do now, he's my brother. Relization of what this really means brings tears of sadness and happiness over my face. My brother, I love him, my brother.

"Shhhh" My mother coos. "It's alright, I'm here. Even though your Dad is gone, even though your brother is gone, and even though your big sister is gone. I'm here. I will never leave you. Ever." She whispers. The baby calms and falls asleep in her mothers arms. And suddenly blackness swallows everything.

I wake up to find myself covered in sweat. I look around and realize I'm still in the kitchen, waiting for Jeremy. I look over to my mother. She is crying, awake. She doesn't see me. Maria comes into the room, both are oblivious to me in the shadows.

"Hey, Lizzie." Maria whispers and takes my mother into her arms. "It was the dream again, wasn't it."

"They all left." She whispers nodding her head, sobs wracking her body.

"Shhh. No, Natalie didn't. I didn't. Jeremy didn't. Even Evelyn didn't." She rocks her back and forth. "Natalie and I would never leave you. Jeremy didn't have a choice. And if you think about it, neither did Evelyn."

"But I could have saved her. Michael didn't have to take him. Natalie will leave me someday. You will go too someday. I'll be all alone someday." Tears stream down her face, her cries are becoming louder. "I can't do this anymore!"

"Shhhh." Maria says again, I can see the tears glistening in her eyes. "Natalie may go, but she will never leave you alone. I may go, but I will always be close. Michael took him for Max, he took him so Max wouldn't be alone. You accepted that a long time ago. Remember that. No one could save Evelyn. Not even Max." She rubs her back and closes her eyes tightly as a single tear streaks down her face.

"I-" my mother stops and just gives in to the tears and exhastion that have taken over her body. She eventually falls asleep in Maria's arms.

"Oh Liz." Maria moans quietly, "Why can't you forgive yourself? Why can't you stop blaming yourself. Liz." She closes her eyes tightly again and waits for the pain to pass. I can almost feel her pain, I can feel the terror and sadness in my mother. I shudder.

"Oh Mom." I whisper.