I got a warning for jay walking yesterday for the sheriff. I asked him if he’d take away my sneakers if I did it again. He said that if I was going to be such a smart aleck that he would haul my butt down to JDC. That would get Maria the hyena laughing til the end of the year. She’s so stupid.

Maria is cute, like a kitten. She dances pretty and she always smells like vanilla and trees, but I’m not obsessed with her like Max is with Liz. He wants to marry her.

Whitless thinks he’s a photographer today. He took lots of pictures of Isabel. She made me stand with her for some of them. She struck all sorts of dramatic poses and claimed that’s what models did.

Michael pulled a note out from between two pages and read it.

Dear Michael,

I’m sorry that I said you threw like a girl and that I told you to drop dead and rot. I’m also sorry I spit in your thermos at lunch, but you started it first. From, Maria DeLuca

Michael cracked a smile and folded the note back up. He turned the page over in his note book. On it was a picture of Tigger bouncing on his tail with the name Maria DeBouncy written under it. Also, there was a picture of a donkey that Maria had drawn with the words Mickey Eeyore Guerin scrawled underneath.

//Flash back// Maria: Come here, Spiky Mickey. Michael: Why?

Maria: Aren’t we inquisitive? Come here. Michael: You don’t even know what inquisitive means.

Maria: Momma calls me that all the time. It means you ask too many questions, Fungus Face.

Michael: I guess you’re not as dumb as you look.

Maria: I’m ignoring that. Now come here.

Michael: Fine. Fine. Quit your whining.

(He sits down next to her.)

Maria: It looks just like you.

Michael: I don’t look like a donkey, Cheeto Brain

Maria: You act like one though. You’re just like gloomy old Eeyore.

Michael: You look like that one.

Maria: I do not look like a pig.

Michael: Oink. Oink.

Maria: I am not a pig. I’m Tigger.

Michael: What’s a Tigger?

Maria: Here. Read. A.A. Milne knows all about Tigger.

(He reads.)

Michael: You are a Tigger, but you still look more like the pig.

Maria: Jerk Face, I do not. That’s Piglet. He’s more like Max because he worries too much. Liz is like owl because she’s so smart. Isabel is like Rabbit because she always has to have her own way. Alex is like Roo because he likes to bounce too.

Michael: What about Drano Brain Valenti?

Maria: He’s like the Hephalumps and Woozels. They always ruin our fun and try to steal Winnie the Pooh’s honey.

Michael: Which one of us is Winnie the Pooh? Maria: Our teacher.

(They both giggle.)

Michael: He has a pot belly just like him.

Maria: And he’s always saying “Oh bother” just like him too.

Michael: Say, Curly Girl, can I borrow that book?

Maria: After I’m done reading it.

Michael: Cool.

// End Flash Back//

Michael pulled The House on Pooh Corner out of the box. He opened it and looked at the inside cover. Happy Birthday Jerk Face Your Friend, Maria DeLuca

After Michael had borrowed that book, he told Maria he really liked it. She saved up her allowance and gave him his own copy for his eleventh birthday. It was the nicest gift anyone had ever given him. Michael slid the book onto the bookshelf and left his apartment. He had a mission.

Maria struggled desperately with her locker Monday morning.

“Come on you stupid thing. Open!” she yelled as she yanked on the lock.

“Having problems?”

“This locker hates me, Michael,” Maria whined.

“No fair. That’s my job,”

“You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself,” Maria said swatting him.

“Kidding,”Michael said, “Now hold this while I get this locker open.”

“This has my name on it. Is it for me?”

“Aren’t we inquisitive? Open it.”

Maria tore through the comic strip wrapping paper to find a small old fashioned, stuffed Tigger.

“You remembered?” Maria asked shocked.

“You still look more like the pig,” Michael stated.

“I’m going to ignore that Eeyore,” Maria shot back.

“Why do I always have to be the gloomy donkey?”

“Because you are gloomy and stubborn like one too,” Maria teased.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Remember when Tigger bounced Eeyore into the river?”

“Yeah, why?”