It had been four months since the three had left. Since Michael Guerin had left her. And even though it had been four months since the aliens had returned to their home planet, Maria could remember it all as clearly as if it had happened yesterday.

“I’m gonna live my life
Like every day’s the last.
Without a simple goodbye
It all goes by so fast.

“And now that you’re gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now.”

Max, ever the leader of the group, had called the six teenagers together to meet at The Crash Down after hours on that Saturday night in May. Everyone had returned home to Roswell for summer break from college by then, and they had all gathered, not knowing what Max had to tell them.

Looking back, Maria sometimes felt that she should have known what Max was going to tell them. He was so somber and quiet – more so than usual – but she still had had no idea that he was about to change her life with just nine little words. “I’ve found a way for us to go home,” Max said. He didn’t dance around the subject, he just came right out and said it, and for a moment no one could speak.

“What do you mean?” Isabel had finally asked, her voice shaky. She clutched Alex’s arm, while he slid his other arm around her shoulders, trying to comfort his girlfriend even through his own shock.

“River Dog came to me. He told me Nasedo had contacted him and left a message with him. River Dog didn’t know what it meant, but as soon as I touched it I knew. It said the people of our planet are sending a rescue ship to take us back to our planet.”

Maria felt sick to her stomach, but she forced herself to speak. “When?” she asked softly.

Max raised his head and looked at each of his friends before speaking. “Tomorrow. At dawn.”

Maria felt her heart skip a beat at Max’s words. “Tomorrow?” Liz cried. “But Max...” she trailed off, not knowing what to say. Maria felt Michael’s hand clutch hers tightly under the table, and she leaned against him heavily.

Everything after that had seemed to go by in a blur to Maria. She remembered tears and arguing, and everyone trying to talk Max out of it, but he was the leader, and even though the decision was hard on him, too, he stuck to it and Michael and Isabel knew it was what they had to do as well.

Maria and Michael had left the others soon after, determined to make the most of their last night together. They both knew that after this night they would be together again only in their dreams.

“Gonna open my eyes
And see for the first time
I’ve let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite.”

They spent the night in Maria’s room, finding comfort in the warmth and touch of the other. They came together instinctively, finding their true moment of completion in each other’s arms. Then, an hour before dawn, they left her room together and made the journey to the spot in the desert where they had all agreed to meet the night before.

Max, Liz, Isabel, Alex, and a man whom Maria could only assume was Nasedo were already there when she and Michael arrived at the location. Michael and Maria had just reached the others when there was a brilliant flash of light in the sky. “It is time,” Nasedo intoned, turning toward the shimmery silver disk that had just landed several hundred feet away. “Come.” He began walking toward the craft.

Isabel and Liz were crying, and Maria could see that Max, Michael, and Alex were trying to hold back their own tears as well. “I guess this is it,” Max said softly. He moved forward to hug first Alex and then Maria before returning to stand next to Liz again. Isabel hugged Liz and Maria next. “Thank you,” she whispered through her tears. “You guys are the closest to sisters I’ve ever had. I’m going to miss you so much.”

Michael stepped forward last. “Thank you,” he said to Liz and Alex as he hugged them both. “For everything.”

Then the couples split into three separate pairs to say their own goodbyes in private. Michael was openly crying now as he and Maria held each other tightly. “I don’t know how to do this. How do I say goodbye to the best thing that’s ever happened to me?” he asked, pulling back to look at her beloved face. He held her face between his hands a moment, staring intently at her to memorize every detail. Then he leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. “Goodbye,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. “I love you, Maria DeLuca.” He kissed her once more, then ran to the craft, forcing himself not to look back at her.

Maria wanted to call out to him, wanted to beg him to stay with her, but something inside wouldn’t let her. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t cry, she could only watch as the only man she would ever love walked out of her life and disappeared forever.

“There it goes
Up in the sky
There it goes
Beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now.”

In the months following the alien three’s departure Maria would sometimes catch Liz and Alex crying when they thought no one else was looking. She, however, found she still could not cry. It was as if when Michael had left her, he had taken most of her emotions with him.

Sometimes it was still so easy for her to forget they were really gone. She would hear the door to The Crash Down open and she’d turn, expecting to see Isabel’s long blonde hair, Max’s soulful brown eyes, and Michael’s familiar spiky hair. But she never did, because it never was them. And it never would be again.

“Gonna look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is just an empty chair.

And now that you’re gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now.”

Back in the present, Maria sighed. Here it was, four months later, and she still couldn’t really believe that Michael was gone. Maybe because she had never really said goodbye to him she still expected to see him walk into The Crash Down, or knock on her window at night. She shifted position, letting her hands rest on her stomach as she thought about all she and Michael had shared. A sudden flutter in her stomach caused her to gasp in surprise and she moved her hand cautiously over her stomach. Seconds later, she felt it again. And in that moment, the tears that had deserted Maria for so many months came rushing back to her all at once and she began to cry. She cried for the loss of three of her best friends. She cried for how unfair life was, and for the child that had been growing inside of her for the past four months whose father would never even know about it. But most of all she cried for herself and Michael and the loss of their love.

“There it goes
Up in the sky
There it goes
Beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No, I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now.”

It took awhile for Maria to let go of the tears that she had been holding back for the last four months, and for a long time she lay on the hood of her car, looking up to the stars and letting her tears flow. Finally, after denying her own emotions for so long, she was able to release all of the pain and sorrow that she had been feeling since she had found out that Michael was leaving her.

And when she had no more tears left, Maria slid gingerly off of the hood of her car and pulled the blanket off, throwing it haphazardly into the back seat of the car. She climbed into her car, but before she drove away, she paused a moment, looking up at the stars shining brightly above her. “Goodbye,” she whispered. “I love you, Michael Guerin.”