One year ago all "the story" begun and against her will she was involved. Since that "shooting" day, Maria stopped believing in what her eyes saw to concentrate herself on what her instinct said. That day, all her convictions and scepticisms crumbled down as fast as that gun shut! The first thing she though about was: *Nothing will be never the same...*. Little by little she learned to have again self-confidence and then to trust to Max, Isabel... Michael. (Now, there were also Tess and even if she doesn't know her so well she had to trust to her).

*Can I renounce everything?* If the morning after that day Maria desired to run away from them... now she wasn't so sure. And then there was Michael and what she was feeling for him.

In the last year she became stronger. Nothing was easy, but she never backed out of troubles. She was good enought on do it! But when she was near Michael, all her assurances fell down like in this moment in which she is thinking of him. In that year they had clashed, competed with each other, went away and attracted themselves always fighting against something out of their reach... . The fear of being hurted or disappointed was like a wall for the two of them who had continued to meet each other, touch on their souls and then run away (first of all from themselves and then from their relation).

Maria was sure to be similar to Michael, with the only difference that now she admitted she needed him: not his human part, not his alien part, she needed him only like Michael Guerin! ... but at the same time, she also admitted that this was impossible.

Life she desired was here in Roswell, near Michael, she didn't care about being in danger because she wanted share her ONLY life with the man who took her heart: Michael. That was what Maria wanted. That was what Michael didn't wanted.

In fact, since the day of Max's rescue and Pierce's death, Michael managed to dig an abyss between them and now she was slipping in it with all her old fears. Michael said he loves her... *was it really true?*. Her heart trembles everytime she remind it and hot tears come up to fill her eyes.

If there was even only a possibility for their love to run free and wild letting them breathless... she must found it! Maria tried to do it all over the summer, because she felt Michael under her skin and in her blood... but what he said the previous evening was stronger than her last hope.

*He is a soldier... he doesn't want anybody at home waiting for him. He doesn't want me waiting for him*. Alone on her bed, Maria felt the defeat. Michael was the winner... no matter what she maight say or do. *Is that love or disperation?*. Everything was over and she wanted her life back: if she couldn't have what she wanted here in Roswell, she would find her balance somewhere else.

When the sun surprised Maria, she was sure that was her last day in Roswell. /********/

Amy De Luca was a good organizing: the movers allerted, the fly tickets and the time-bus took. Maria had only to prepare a little suitcase with her most important things for the journey because the rest would be sended, some days later, from here directly to St. Louis. Maria was in a kind of enigmatic lucidity that deeply hurted her. /********/

Maria didn't go at work that day and Liz didn't call her because she prefered let her alone to reflect on the entire situation... but when she saw her friend enter the Crashdown that night, after the closing time, she looked at her face and understood: *Maria had decided to leave!*.

-Hey guys! Good, everybody is here!- Max, Isabel, Tess, Liz and Alex were sat at a table immersed in a discussion. Only Michael seemed not to be there.

-After what happened we can't not to talk... you know, we all must find out a solution.- While Max was speaking Maria was wondering how she could renounce all of that.

-Come on, sit down- Isabel went nearer Alex letting a free place for her -we need some else good ideas!-

Maria looked for Liz with the eyes and in hers she read that she knew. -Going on has no sense... sorry, but I can't stay.- Maria heard her voice cold and distant. -We didn't see you for all the day and now you has to go... why?- Alex was confused. /********/

Michael was in the back room changing his clothes. He was really tired and now that Nacedo was dead and the "Skins" were among them, he was afraid and scared. A good soldier must knew how to do but Michael felt all his inadequancy pressing in his mind... and then, there was Maria.

*I'm such an ungrateful person... I'm so cowardly!* Michael was mumbling away... *that day when I said I loves her, I just hurted her and now I continue doing the same.* Michael knew that it was wrong open his heart letting her see all his love and fear... he was vulnerable when, instead, he had to protect her. For that reason now he had to drive her away from him with all his means... even if that meant to make her cry again and make another hole in his soul.

>From months he was fighting with his feelings for that! *She must be happy. I can only hurt her.*

Michael was destined to be a soldier and he didn't wanted Maria loving him if that meant to put in danger her life. He needed her so deeply... he wanted hug her and hear her sweet voice murmurs that everything would be ok, but his fear was to big and he preferred to repress his need hoping that one day Maria could forgive him for both of them.

In that minds, he pulled on a black T-shirt and begun making his way to the back door when he stopped himself at its little round window watching at Maria who was standing in front of the others in the middle of the main room. She looked nervous and Michael felt it would be difficult to face her, especially after what he said the evening before. Then he heard she speaking... . /********/

-Well... I'm, uh, I'm just leaving... that's it!- Everybody turned looking at her. (Michael was so surprised that wasn't able to open the door which was hiding him).

-An holiday? Now? After what is happened? That's great!!- Tess wasn't the only not understanding. In a step, Liz was near her best friend: -Maria, wait...- -Liz, I'm old enought to take this decision.- -Maria, would you explain what the hell is happening here? Liz?- Now even Alex was near his two friends.

(Behind the back door, Michael was wondering the same thing).

-I'm moving to St. Louis with my mother... at least for the next six months...- The hardest part was just gone, now she couldn't come back to her steps. -But this when, no why... then you move: when?- Alex was extremly confused now, and Liz was triing to hold back her tears. -In two hours: with the bus we'll reach the airport...- The two friends embraced her in pain. -We would like had just more time to...- -Please, no explanation guys... not jet. I need time on my own and if you know me, you'll understand.- -St. Louis Maria, it's not a camping... six months are not a weekend, you know it?- -Yes Alex, but I need it.- -Maria, Maria...- -Oh Liz, I love you. Please forgive me 'cause I'm not that strong girl I've supposed to be.- -I'll miss you.- -I'll miss you too... and I'll miss you all!- -We'll miss you too, Maria.- Max was walking at her with Isabel. They didn't seem to judge her but they seemed to understand. Nobody made questions.

-Oh listen to me... I must hurry me up and I don't want cry before I have told you something. I'm really sorry about going away from you in this particular moment letting here such an important part of my life...but I've no choice. I must do it.- -We'll really miss your help Maria. Really.- Isabel was sincere and Maria understood she had in her a true friend. -If in this moment I can't help myself... how could I help you?-

*Why is everything so difficult? ... and I've still Michael to deal with!*