***

At first Michael had planned on going straight back to Liz and Alex's apartment but he didn't want to have to face everyone yet, he didn't want to have to tell them every detail of his rejection so he just wondered the streets aimlessly. A time came back to him, a time much like this a cold rainy night when he felt like he belonged nowhere. Back then he turned to the only person who would ask no questions, who would just take him into her room and her bed and her arms and just lie with him comforting him in a way no one else could, now even she had turned her back on him. He had given her so many reasons though maybe he deserved what he got, maybe he didn't deserve her. No, he definitely didn't deserve her. She was a goddess and he was a measly little peasant who did all he could to please her but even his best would never be enough for her. At that moment Michael could think of nothing better to do than to kill himself. He had left for 10 years to go find his family and some family it was, being with them those 10 years he was almost glad he had been left on Earth and taken into the care of a drunken old good-for-nothing foster father because his family was worse than that. His family had hated him, he wasn't one of them he was tainted, he was…human. What an awful thing to be human. They had wanted to send him back the second they met him. Over the years they worked him like a slave, he was never loved, never cared about, he was hated, despised, loathed, one night in his sleep his eldest brother had tried to kill him. That had happened over 5 years ago, he had run away from home that night and would have returned to Earth right then but didn't want to leave without Max and Isabel knowing that they would one day want to return. Max and Isabel had a loving caring family and a warm home to go to every night. Their parents didn't care that they were raised on Earth or that they had human emotions and were in essence human, they loved them unconditionally. Michael felt that he always got the raw deal while Isabel and Max had life handed to them on a silver platter. If Michael had known what had waited for him on his "home planet" he never would have left. He didn't even think that if he had had a loving caring family that it could make up for life without Maria and now he had nothing.

***

Max, Liz, Alex and Isabel just sat around the kitchen table not knowing exactly what to do. None of them had expected Maria's reaction. "So what do we do now?" Alex asked unsure of anything.

"Who knows, everything has changed so much. Where do you think they are? Do you think they made up? I know she loves him and that he loves her, they have to work this out."

"Yeah they love each other, but sometimes love just ain't enough," Liz replied to Isabel.

"We just have to let them work this out on their own, we can't force this," Max said taking the role of the calm leader as he always did.

Just then the phone rang, startled Liz jumped and then walked over and picked it up, "Hello?"

"Liz, is Michael there?"

"No Maria, he isn't, why?"

"Good, I'm gonna come by and get my stuff."

"What? You're leaving?"

"I'm not going back home, but I can't stay at your place. I have a lot to think about and I need to be alone. So I'll be there in about 10 minutes, if Michael is there make sure I don't see him. I just want to get my stuff and I'll be gone."

"Where are you going to go? You don't have a car."

"I'm going to get a rental for the week. Just let me worry about it. I need to go somewhere where I can figure everything out. I'll keep in touch over the week. I'll see you in like 10 minutes." With that Maria hung up the phone and started walking back in the direction of Liz and Alex's apartment.

"What was that all about?" Alex asked from his seat next to Isabel.

"Maria is coming to get her stuff, she doesn't want to stay here, she just wanted to call to make sure Michael wasn't here, I guess they didn't make up."

***

Five minutes after Maria called there was a knock at the door. Liz got up to answer it expecting Maria to be on the other side of the door. Instead Michael stood there wet and looking lost. "Michael, what happened?"

"I think it's over, I mean really over."

Liz moved out of the way to allow Michael to enter the apartment. He looked drained both physically and emotionally, he had been waiting since he had got back to Earth, well actually he had been waiting since he left Earth, to see Maria and now that he had she had turned her back on him. Michael went and sat down in the kitchen with the other three and Liz was following him when she heard another knock at the door. Hearing the sound Michael turned, "Maria?" he whispered with hope in his heart.

Liz nodded, "She's coming back to get her stuff, she called a few minutes ago, she doesn't want to see you."

Michael nodded at her a distant, sad look on his face, "I know, she made it pretty obvious."

"Why don't you stay in the bedroom till she leaves, we'll try to talk to her. Just give her time, this all came as a big shock to her. She was having a hard time just facing Roswell and then we forced her to face you with no warning. It'll work out, I promise."

Michael gave a slight sad smile and retreated to the bedroom. Liz walked over to the door and opened it. "I just want to get my stuff and go, I don't want to talk, I don't want anything to eat or drink, I just want to get my stuff. Please don't make this hard, just let me go. I have a lot to think about and I can't think about it here. I need to be alone."

Liz smiled at her friend and nodded, "Okay, just get your stuff and go. You have your car already, right?"

"No, I'm going to get it now."

"Okay, get your stuff and I will drive you and no arguing, I don't want you to have to haul your stuff all the way there in the pouring rain."

Maria agreed, got her belongings and made her way out to Liz's car. "Oh shoot, I forgot to grab my purse, I'll be right back."

Maria turned and ran back up the stairs to Liz's apartment. She burst through the door and there he was. He was soaked through and he looked hurt, like someone had just stabbed him in the heart. Tears filled Maria's eyes when she saw his pained expression. 'I did that to him,' she thought hating herself knowing that she could bring him that much pain. "I have to go," she said more to herself than anyone else and she turned and hurried out of the apartment forgetting the reason she had gone up in the first place.

Maria pounded down the stairs at full speed just barely keeping her balance. She pushed through the door and erupted out into the cool night air. The rain had slowed to a slight mist and the clouds were starting to clear from the sky. Maria leaned back against the brick of the apartment building and slid down the wall to the ground tears spilling out of her eyes. Liz spotted her and walked over, "Maria, what's wrong?"

Maria couldn't get a word out of her mouth. Liz remembered why she had returned to the apartment and looked to see if Maria had retrieved her purse. When Liz didn't spot the purse she knew Maria had found more than she was looking for in the apartment and had lost it. She bent down and wrapped her arms around her friend. It was the only way she knew of to comfort her. "I'm going to go get your purse, I'll be right back, okay?" Maria gave a slight nod and Liz hurried up the stairs to her apartment.

During the whole ordeal Max, Isabel, and Alex had been sitting in the kitchen watching and listening to see what was going on. When Maria hurried out of the apartment Michael didn't know what to do, he knew running after her wouldn't help any but he couldn't just watch her run away again. He was so confused about what she wanted from him. He had seen the tears in her eyes and he knew that she wasn't mad at him and that she didn't hate him, but he couldn't figure out why she kept running. Liz walked in through the still open door and Michael felt the need to explain himself, "Liz, I'm sorry, I thought you were already gone. I wasn’t expecting her to coming flying through the door like that. I really didn't mean to upset her again."

"I know. Just give her some time, she'll figure everything out."

Liz grabbed Maria's purse and hurried back outside to her friend who was still crouched on the ground crying. "Come on, we'll go get your car," she said pulling her friend up off the ground and guiding her over to the car. "Everything is going to be alright."

Liz dropped Maria off at a car rental place and waited with her to make sure she had a car and had enough money to pay for it. She helped Maria move her bags from her car to the rental. When everything was in Maria's car the two girls hugged. "Where are you going to go?"

"I'm gonna go find a motel to stay in for the week. Somewhere where I can think things through by myself. I need some down time to see what I want."

"Call me if you need anything."

"I will."

The girls hugged once more and Maria climbed into the jeep she had rented, started it and pulled out of the parking lot. Liz watched as her friend drove away. She wished she could help her somehow but she knew that there was nothing she could do to help her torn friend.

***

Maria drove steadily down the road. She wasn't really paying attention to where she was going. She didn't know where she was going she was just driving. Then she spotted the sign along the deserted highway. She had passed it earlier that day, that was when she had first started having doubts about her return to Roswell. But there it was looming in front of her calling to her. Maybe she had had it set all along. Maybe she had subconsciously known exactly where she wanted to go the whole time. She wanted to keep driving to go right by the little nookie motel on the side of 285 south but she was drained, exhausted and all she wanted to do was sleep. She pulled the car into the parking lot and checked in. Oddly enough, or maybe coincidentally or maybe she had requested it and she didn't even know but she was in the same room she had shared with Michael that fateful night so many years ago on their road trip to Marathon. That was the night she had first fallen for him. That was when she saw through the tough guy façade and found the real Michael, when she realized how alike they truly were. She put her bag on the floor and collapsed on the bed and all of a sudden she was back there so many years ago.

* "Maybe we could share." *

* "Not if you were the last alien on Earth." *

Maria could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She closed them and a single tear rolled down her cheek. 'Why am I fighting this? Why do I keep pushing him away? I've been waiting for this for so long and now that it's finally happened all I can do is run. Why do I keep running? Why don't I stay? I know I love him and I want to be with him so why don't I stay?' she asked herself dumbfounded by her actions.

Maria so unsure of everything pulled her legs up to her chest. With soft silent tears trailing down her face she fell asleep in the fetal position.

***

"I don't know what she expects from me. I came back for her. I want to be with her. I don't think I can go on without her. I have done it for too long already. Liz, I love her and I want to be with her. How come all I can ever do is hurt her?"

"I don't know Michael. I know you love her but maybe she doesn't realize that, maybe she doesn't want to invest in something that every other time she has invested in it, it has fallen apart on her. You have to prove that you aren't going anywhere and that you don't want to hurt her anymore. That this time you're back for good."

"But how do I do that? How do I prove myself to her? All I have ever done is hurt her. How can I know for sure that I won't do it again?"

"If you don't know then how does she know and if you can't promise her anything how can you expect her to come back to you. She isn't a teenager anymore. She's looking for more than a fling in the eraser room. She's looking for someone she can spend the rest of her life with and if you can't promise her that then why would she invest in it? You can't expect her to wait around for you forever."

"Thanks Liz, that's real comforting."

"I'm not going to lie and tell you what you want to hear. I'm telling the brutal truth. You have to be everything for her or nothing. Which is it going to be?"

***

Maria awoke the next morning feeling lost and hopeless. She didn't know what she was going to do. She loved Michael but she couldn't spend the rest of her life waiting for him to love her back. Or maybe she couldn't wait for him to allow himself to tell her that he loved her or allow himself to be everything to her. He didn't have a reason to run anymore. Everything with the FBI was behind them, their search for their home and their families was over, now he had to decided what he wanted and Maria had a feeling that he would never be able to be everything for her like she needed him to be.

***

'What do they expect from me? What does she expect from me? I came back to be with her and now nobody thinks I can handle it. Maybe they're right though, maybe I can't handle being everything for her. So I love her, so I want to be with her but how can I be everything for her? All I ever do is hurt her, what says I won't do it again? So what if I was the one to come back this time and she was the one to run? Haven't I given her enough reasons to run and never look back? I know I can't be everything to her. Maybe she'll be better off this way. With me gone for good maybe she will be able to find someone who can be everything to her. Who can make her all those promises and keep them, someone who'll never hurt her. Someone who can love her and let her love him without being scared or confused. Someone who knows how to love. I'm not that guy and I never will be that guy. I should have thought about all of this before I decided to just show up in her life and pretend like I could be that guy for her when it's clear that I will never be able to be that guy.'

***

'What do I expect from him. He never made any promises, he never promised me he would always be here and that he would never hurt me. Why do I keep running? I love him. So maybe he can't be everything for me and maybe he's not perfect and he's scared to love but who isn't? I know I'm scared to love him. I can't expect him to be everything and truthfully I don't think I need him to be everything for me. Or maybe he can be everything but nobody can see that. I don't know what I expect from him all I know is that I love him. If I let him go I will be making the biggest mistake of my life. He loves me and I love him. He came back to be with me. Maybe I don't have to be scared anymore. I don't expect him to make promises and I don't expect him not to hurt me but I know that I can love him anyway so why do I try to fight it?'

'But is it worth it? Do you want to spend the rest of your life doing this? Sitting here thinking to yourself why you should and shouldn't be with him? He made the decision to leave and you are letting him get away with it. You are letting him hurt you by going back for more. Take a stand, don't let him control you. All he has done in the past is hurt you and that's all he'll continue to do. If he truely loved you he wouldn't keep hurting you and he wouldn't have left, if he really loved you he would have made you promises years ago and stuck by them and never left your side for a second. If he really loved you he would be able to be everything for you, not just the bum who loves you when he can. Stop letting him control you. Your heart isn't leading you to the logical resolution. You have to use your brain or he'll just use you and abuse you like he always has.'

For Maria everything was so unclear. Her heart told her to love him, to be with him, but her brain was making sure she knew how big a mistake it would be to go back to him. Should she follow her heart or should she listen to her brain? Which one would make her happy in the end? Both had good arguments, but how was she suppose to figure out which one she should follow? She was so confused. She didn't know what to do? Should she love him? Should she hate him? Should she run back to him or should she run from him? Tired and confused Maria collapsed on the bed tears once again spilling out of her eyes. Her life had become so complicated so quickly.

***

:Ring, ring: The sound of the phone on the nightstand awoke Liz from her sleep. She glanced at the clock and found it to be 6:30 in the morning. With her voice still fuzzy from sleep Liz picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Liz, I think I'm losing my mind. I don't know what to do, oh god I'm so confused!"

"Maria just calm down. Now tell me what you're talking about."

"I love him Liz, I do but I don't know if I'm allowed to love him."

"What do you mean?"

"I love him with all my hear but my brain won't allow me to love him, it keeps telling me that if I take him back he'll just keep hurting me. I don't know which to trust, my heart or my brain. I mean I know I love him but he has hurt me so many times how can I know that he won't keep hurting me?"

"Maria just calm down. Maybe you need to talk to him. Maybe that would be the best idea."

"No Liz I can't. I can't stand to be near him when I'm so vulnerable because I know if I'm near him I won't listen to reason and right now I have to take in everything that has happened, I have to analyze everything and see exactly where this is leading and if he's around I can't do that."

"Maria just take a deep breath and listen to me. He loves you and he knows he's hurt you before but he wants to be with you, he needs to be with you. I'm going to ask you to do something that Grandma Claudia asked me to do, always follow your heart and you'll never go wrong. So just try Maria. Try to follow your heart because it knows what you really want."

"I don't think I can do that Liz. I just…I'm so confused," and the tears were there again, in her voice. Liz could hear her heavy breathing.

"Oh please Maria, don't cry."

"Why do you get it so easy? He loves you, you love him, why isn't it hard for you? Why do you get to be happy? I hate you!" And Maria slammed down the phone leaving Liz listen to the dial tone.

"Who was the?" Max asked rolling over in bed to look at Liz.

"That was Maria. Max she's really hurt. I don't know if she's going to make it through this. She sounds really bad and she's so emotional. We have to do something for her."

"You know that there isn't anything we can do. We have to let her work this out herself."

Liz nodded knowing he was right, but she still wished there was something she could do to help her friend.

"I'm hungry, why don't we go make some breakfast?" Max asked trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, okay."

***

Maria looked at the phone. She didn't know why she had exploded at Liz, she knew she had only been trying to help. Maria didn't understand anything anymore. Everything was changing and she didn't know how to handle it all. It was like she was 16 again and finding out for the first time that aliens existed and that they had healed her best friend. Everything had changed so drastically at once and it was happening again and she didn't know how to handle it. She was lost and confused and she just wanted to crawl into his arms and stay there forever but that was how she had gotten confused in the first place. If that was what she really wanted to do then why had she run? If that was what she really wanted to do then why was she sitting there in the bed in the nookie motel crying? Suddenly it all made sense. She didn't belong in this room crying. She belonged with Michael, wrapped in his arms. Inspired and excited by her new insight Maria quickly packed her things and was in her jeep driving to Liz's and Alex's apartment as fast as the rental would take her.

***

"What do you mean he's gone?" Isabel asked confused.

"When we got up this morning he wasn't here. At first we just figured that he had gone out for a walk or something but when we went into the kitchen Liz found this note from him."

"What does it say?" Alex inquired.

With tears in her eyes Liz read them the note, "To my dearest friends. I can see that I no longer belong here. That my presence is not desired as I had hoped it would be. I ask that you forgive me for leaving like this but I knew if I didn't leave like this that you would stop me. Tell Maria that I love her and that I hope she finds happiness one day, true happiness for I know that I cannot bring her true happiness. I love you all and I will miss you but this is just the way that it has to be. I hope you can understand why I am leaving. Perhaps we will meet again one day. I love you all and I wish you the best. Michael."

"So that's it? He's gone?" Isabel asked collapsing into the closest chair.

"Yeah, I guess so," Max replied sadly.

:Knock, knock, knock: Everyone looked at each other hopefully. "Please be Michael," Isabel whispered under her breath.

Liz got up on shaky legs to answer the door. Her eyes were bloodshot as she slowly walked to the door. She hesitated with her hand on the knob and then threw the door open to find…Maria? No, Michael was supposed to be standing there.

Maria looked closely at her friend. She looked almost…disappointed. "Liz, what's wrong?"

Liz couldn't get the words out. She just began to cry. Maria hugged her friend and led her into the kitchen where the other four were sitting. "You guys, what's going on?" Maria asked confused

Max didn't say anything but handed her the note. As she read it silently to herself tears began to slide down her face. When she was finished she looked up at the four people looking at her. "No, this isn't happening, this is a joke right? This is a joke, payback for what I did to Michael. This isn't happening. Please tell me this is just a joke, I promise I won't be mad."

Max looked at her sadly and shook his head, "I'm sorry Maria, but it's not a joke. He left last night."

Maria's head fell to the table and she began to sob uncontrollably.

***

'So now where do I go? The only life I have ever known was in Roswell. But I did the right thing. This is for her, because I love her. She deserves to be happy and I can't make her happy so by leaving I allow her to find someone else to be happy with. I did the right thing!'

Michael sat alone in the cave on the Indian reservation. He didn't have anywhere else to go. He wanted to lay low for a few days and then skip town. Well that is what he kept telling himself anyway. In actuality he wanted to be found. He wanted her to find him, to tell him that she loved him and that she was wrong and that they belonged together and that he was the only person who could make her happy. He would wait in that cave for the rest of his life if that was how long it took for her to come to him. He needed her, like water, like air. She was a necessity to him and without her he would slowly die off. All he wanted was to hold her one last time and he would die happily.

***

"Maybe he didn't actually leave yet. Maybe he's hiding out somewhere," Maria suggested.

"I don't know, seems a bit unlikely. I mean he seemed real serious about leaving," Alex said hoping Maria wouldn’t get her hopes up to just get let down in the end.

"Yeah but it's worth a try isn't it?" Isabel asked.

"I guess it might work," Max said looking around at his four companions.

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go," Maria said jumping up off her chair and hurrying out of the kitchen.

"We should split up, we'll find him quicker that way," Isabel said right behind Maria.

"Okay, I'll go with Liz, Isabel and Alex go together and Maria you can go with either pair," Max said taking over as always.

"No, I'm going by myself," Maria replied and was out the door in seconds.

***

Maria was in her car driving around town. 'Where would he go? Where would he be?' She thought about all the places that held special meaning to them. There was the nookie motel, he wasn't there she would have sensed him. He wouldn't be at the Crashdown that would be too obvious. The cave, at the Indian reservation, maybe he was there! Maria pressed down on the gas and sped in the direction of the Indian reservation.

About half an hour later Maria pulled up in front of the little shops in the Indian reservation. A familiar looking man approached her. "Hi, can I help you with something?"

"Maybe, I'm looking for my friend. Guy in his late 20s, spiky hair. I thought he might be around here somewhere."

"I remember you. You are looking for your friend the one who came into the sweat and was almost killed."

"Yes that's him, have you seen him?"

"No, I'm sorry. If you want to look around though you may. I trust that you won't disrupt anything."

"Thank you. Do you know how I could get to that cave back in the woods."

"Sure, I'll take you," he put on a cheesy smile and said, "Hi, I'm Eddy, I'll be your guide."

Maria smiled hopefully.

***

"Where could he have gone?" Isabel asked quietly. She was cruising down the street with Alex behind the wheel.

"I don't know. It is a possibility that he really left."

"I know, but I don't want to have to believe that yet. I don't think he could really leave us behind. I don't think he could leave Maria behind."

***

"We'll find him Max, don't worry."

"Liz, I think he really left this time. If he thinks it's what Maria wants. He would do anything for her. I think she has finally realized that."

"But if he knows her at all he would know that all she wants is him. He couldn't have left. She would be shattered and she would blame herself for her unhappiness for the rest of her life because he left because he thought that was what she wanted."

"We'll find him!"

***

Maria was breathing heavy following Eddy through the woods. "Are we almost there?" she asked huffing and puffing.

"Yeah, it's right there," he answered pointing to the small cave.

She took a deep breath and started walking toward the cave. 'Please be here, please be here,' she silently begged him as she entered the cold dark cave.

***

Michael sat up straight. 'What was that noise?' he wondered to himself. Then it came again, footsteps, someone was coming. He got up off the cold cave floor and walked toward the noise.

***

Maria walked slowly through the dark cave. She could barely see a foot in front of her. Then she heard something coming from one of the back caves, footsteps. "Michael," she whispered and started to run faster.

***

"Please be Maria," he whispered to himself as he began to move faster through the caves. The footsteps were getting closer and closer and louder and louder. He turned a corner and ran right into someone.

***

Maria could hear the footsteps getting closer and closer. 'Please be Michael, please be Michael,' she silently chanted when she turned a corner and ran full force into someone sending them both sprawling on the ground.

***

"Maria, is that you?" Michael asked hopefully.

"Michael," he heard her call joyously.

They crawled to each other in the dark cold cave. Michael softly touched her cheek and wrapped his arms around her back. "I'm sorry for everything I have ever done to you. I love you so much and all I want to do is hold you in my arms for the rest of my life!"

Maria pulled back slightly so she could look into his eyes, "Ditto."

He looked at her not believing what she had just said. He looked deep into her eyes and saw all the love she had for him and he saw how much she needed him and he realized that he needed her just as much. They just sat there in the dark holding each other for a long time when finally Maria asked the question they both needed an answer for. "So now what happens?"

"We move on with our lives…together. We forget about the past, we forget about everything that has hurt us, that has tried to tear us apart. We be happy with each other."