Maria attempted a pretty pathetic cartwheel, and then ran off to sit with the other Cheerleaders. The football coach got up to speak. Maria sat in shock. Sheriff Valenti?

“Our game with Valley. We’re gonna rip ‘em, and slaughter em, and break em in half, and shred em into pieces, and slaughter em again, and when the slaughtering is over, we’re gonna ring that victory bell … and celebrate.” Maria saw Amy checking out Sheriff – well, Coach – Valenti. Oh god, even in a warped universe …

Maria walked over to where the Pink Ladies sat, looking intensely bored.

“Maria, your split was devine!” Tess gushed.

“We got a surprise for you,” Liz said. Isabel dragged her off to the parking lot, and all four of them headed off, Isabel fixing up Maria's hair.

*****************

“Do a flip, give a yell, shake that tit for ol’ Roswell!” Alex and Kyle chanted. Michael saw the Pink Ladies heading over.

“Hey,” Liz said.

“Looking good,” Max said.

“Yourself,” she retorted.

“What do you want, Liz?” Michael asked.

“Got a surprise for ya, Guerin,” she said.

“Oh, yeah?” he challenged. “Surprise me.”

Isabel and Liz thrust a blonde cheerleader at him. He took a double – take. “Maria?”

“Michael?”

“I thought you went back to Australia!”

“We had a change of plans.”

Suddenly he realised his cool exterior had been somewhat blown, Michael muttered “That’s … that’s cool baby.”

Maria stared in shock as he began to mutter something about rock and roll. “You’re not the Michael Guerin I met at the beach!” she cried.

“Maybe it was my evil twin,” he joked, inwardly cringing. “Maybe there's two of us, check the yellow pages.”

“Ooooh! I wish I’d never laid eyes on you!” she yelled.

“Bet that’s not all she laid on ya, huh Michael?” Kyle said. Maria ran off, and Tess shot a dirty look at Michael before following her.

“Be seeing ya,” Liz told Max, smiling flirtatusly.

*****************

“Maria!” Tess called, running over to her.

“He was so nice to me over the summer,” Maria said, in tears. Inwardly, she wondered why she was crying. By now she was used to the stupid Spaceboys antics.

“Men are rats. No, men are fleas on rats. Worse than that, men are amoebas on fleas on rats. The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy,” Tess said soothingly. Marias stomach churned. She couldn’t even depend on her father, he’d left ages ago. But she wasn’t about to tell Tess that.