She sighed and headed back towards the counter between the kitchen and the dining room to pick up her next order. When she got there her orders were nowhere in sight and she took the opportunity to stand and stare at Michael as he worked in the kitchen. He was sweating and his T-shirt had begun to stick to his back. If she let her eyes move a little lower she could see the way his jeans fit snugly on the waist and then-

“Something you want?” Michael asked without looking up from the grill.

Darn, caught. “Just those two orders that I put in, like, a half an hour ago,” she said, trying to cover her embarrassment at having been caught staring at him.

“Uh-huh.” Michael smirked and Maria had a feeling he knew exactly what she had been staring at.

“So what are you doing tonight?” she asked quickly.

Michael smiled to himself at her poor attempt to change the subject. “The usual. Nothing. Hang out at my apartment, ignore my homework. You?”

Maria shrugged. “My mom’s out of town, so probably pretty much the same. You know, veg out in front of the TV in my pajamas for hours. After a really nice, long bubble bath to get rid of the smell of fried food, of course.”

“Of course,” Michael said with a smile. Maria waited for him to say something else, but all he did was flip the burger patties onto the buns and hand them to her. “There’s order number one. Give me five minutes and number two will be done.”

Maria thanked him and walked away feeling vaguely let down. She had been waiting for Michael to say something more – maybe a lewd comment about her bath, an obnoxious remark about her laziness, or even an offer to come over – but he hadn’t said any of it. Maybe that was the problem, she realized. She really had no idea which of those options he would choose. More than ever she was unsure about where she even stood with him. She had really wanted him to ask if he could come over tonight – maybe then they could actually spend some time together alone and talk about their relationship.

She grinned as a familiar song came over the speakers in The Crash Down. At least Mr. Parker had let her and Liz choose a lot of the music for this month’s Crash Down soundtrack. A good dose of Cowboy Mouth was definitely what she needed right now to help put her in a better mood.

“I reach for your arms but I only get smiles
This has been happening a little while.”

Immediately her thoughts turned to Michael. “You’re not kidding,” she muttered to herself. Michael had been in a decent mood lately, but he hadn’t really mentioned their relationship in awhile. “I don’t even know what he’s thinking lately,” she said as she delivered the two Will Smith specials to table five.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” one of the customers at the table asked.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I was just thinking out loud. I just, um, realized I have a lot of schoolwork to do tonight.” The customer nodded and Maria smiled, hurrying away from the table.

“I say how I feel but you only get riled
Accusing me of being a child.”

Maria nodded to herself as she checked on some of her other tables. That was certainly Michael to a T. How many times had she tried to tell him how she felt, only to have him cut her off when he realized where she was going with the conversation. It was like he thought if he didn’t hear her say it, he could pretend he didn’t know how she really felt about him. And if she pushed the issues he would only get angry with her, telling her she knew how it had to be and had known from the beginning. Or he’d walk away from her. “He’s the one who acts like a child,” she thought to herself.

“Remember the laughter the night that we met
You flashed me a look that I cannot forget
You dared me to leave but I haven't gone yet
We're giving both as good as we get.”

That was the truth. Except Maria didn’t really recall much laughter the night they had met. Well, the night they had really met, anyway, the night of the Crash Festival. The night Liz had told her something that had changed her life forever. Laughter, no, but she definitely remembered the look he had given her. A challenging look, a get out of my way look as he told them to move the Jetta and let them pass. A look that had excited her deep down as much as it had frightened her and made her hide behind Liz. She knew that that was the night everything had really started between them. All with that simple look. It was the only time Maria could remember backing down to Michael and his temper. Every time since then she had held her ground against him, had stood up to him and fired stinging insults right back at him when he sent one her way.

The insults and the fighting weren’t all it was about, of course. Those were fun, she acknowledged, but what they led to was even more fun. The passion, the tenderness, the kisses, the caresses, the sweet side of Michael that she alone had seen.

“You call me honey and I call you baby
You say I'm dumb and I say you're crazy
My memory's clear but the details are hazy
The words come out all wrong.”

Michael could be so sweet when it was just the two of them together, or when he thought no one else was watching – couldn’t tarnish that bad boy rebel reputation, she thought with a smile. But it always seemed to come back to the fighting, the harsh words that neither one really meant to say at all and wished they could take back the moment the words left their mouths. The words that left them in the relationship limbo Maria felt they were currently in.

“Are we lovers or are we friends?
And can we ever be both again?
There's a feeling here that never ever ends
I would give my life to live again.”

“I hear ya, Fred,” she murmured as she returned her gaze to Michael in the kitchen. She wasn’t sure where they stood in their relationship, but she knew the kind of feelings they had for each other didn’t just go away because they were fighting. In fact, she strongly doubted her feelings for Michael would ever go away, no matter what he said or did or even what planet he was on.

Michael smiled as the song on the speakers penetrated his consciousness. Cowboy Mouth. This had to be one of Maria’s choices for the café’s soundtrack. He knew Maria was a big fan of the New Orleans rock group, and he had to admit their upbeat attitude and energy suited her well. He realized he had heard the song before, and remembered Maria playing it in her car several times while he was in it, saying it was one of her many, many favorites by the band.

“Your eyes flitter fast as you cast the first stone
Something 'bout hating being all alone.”

“Maybe because she can relate to it,” he thought to himself. Those lines sounded like a conversation between Maria and him. She had told him she didn’t like being alone many times before. Ever since her father had abandoned her and her mother when she was young, she had had a fear of being left alone by everyone she loved.

“I try not to hear when your anger is thrown
Or any kind of hurting is shown.”

This admission hurt him every time he thought about it. He wanted to pull her to him and reassure her that as long as he was around, she would never be alone. But he couldn’t do it. Something held him back and made him pretend that he didn’t give a damn about her one way or the other. Which couldn’t be further from the truth, of course, but sometimes he just felt that it was best for him to leave her alone, to keep her safe, even though he knew it was the last thing she wanted. It was the last thing he wanted, too, but sometimes he felt like it was what he had to do, like it was the right thing to do.

“I clear my throat when you say you miss me
I drink your lips as you slowly kiss me
Your eyes grow wide by your smile gets misty
I don't know what to do.”

But then she would go ahead and do something like tell him she missed him. Oh, he had passed it off that one time at The Crash Down by telling her not to, but even as he had said it he realized the ridiculousness of his statement. She had looked and sounded so sad that it had taken all of his willpower to walk away from her, praying he would never again hear her say those words. But he had, and the next time she had said them he had been a goner. Against every instinct that screamed in his head, he had pulled her close to him and kissed her like he was a man dying of thirst and she was his water. She had been surprised, but had returned the kiss. And that was where things had gotten complicated. Michael hadn’t known what to say, so he had walked away. And he had been avoiding discussing the kiss or their relationship ever since.

“Are we lovers or are we friends?
And can we ever be both again?
There's a feeling here that never ever ends
I would give my life to live again.

Has anybody seen the one you love?
Where is he now?”

Maria looked to the kitchen, watching Michael as he concentrated on the food on the grill. She wanted to go back there and make him look at her, make him talk to her about what was going on with them. She wanted to force him to come home with her tonight and spend the rest of the night just being with him and talking. She wanted answers, dammit. Her feelings for him were still as strong as ever, and now she needed to know how he felt about her. “Excuse me, miss?” a customer called. Maria tore her attention away from Michael and headed toward the waving customer.

“Has anybody seen the one I need?
Where is she now?”

Michael placed Maria’s order on the shelf between the kitchen and dining room and then let his eyes follow Maria as she walked across the café to an elderly woman in one of the side booths with her grandchildren. He watched, spellbound, as she chatted with the customers, refilling the woman’s water and smiling charmingly at something the woman had said.

“I never saw us parted
You never saw us parted.”

He watched her as she walked away from the woman’s table, pausing to speak to Alex and Isabel in one of the front booths. He saw the sparkle in her eye as she joked with Alex then grinned as he watched her laugh a genuine belly laugh at something Alex had said to her.

“I watch the wind make the water shimmy
I search for something I feel within me.”

God, she was beautiful.

And suddenly, it became absolutely clear to Michael what he needed to do.

“I go for breath but there isn't any
You took it all away.”

Maria walked back towards the pickup ledge. He knew she knew he was staring at her, but he made no attempt to hide it as she reached him. “Something you want?” she mocked his earlier words.

Michael smiled at her, not even caring about making some smart-ass remark back. It was time to fix things with Maria, and now that he finally knew what to do he was not going to be deterred. “Yeah, there is. Can I come over tonight? I want to talk.”

“Are we lovers or are we friends?
And can we ever be both again?
There's a feeling here that never ever ends
I would give my life
I would give my life
I would give my life to live again.”