Last Christmas they had been together. So had Max and Liz and Izzy and Alex. They had been a circle of six, of three units. No one could take them apart, no one on earth that had been. Last summer they had learned of their destinies. Now they were a hexagon, still together, but bent, an indication of where each began and ended.

Last Christmas Max and Michael and Isabel still had hope of getting home. Now they were losing faith, but wouldn’t let the reality sink in. If they had, she would still be with Michael.

She knew he still loved her, knew he still cared. But something inside of him kept fighting with him, telling him it was unsafe. And she couldn’t begin to compete with his instincts. They were too strong and she would only end up with her heart more broken.

~~~~~~~~~

Maria stared out the window and sighed. All around her there were signs of Christmas. Lights hung on eaves of the houses up and down the streets; trees peeked through windows, their branches weighed down with ornaments; people with smiles on their faces, spreading cheer. It was all the stuff that used to make her heart beat faster and her smile widen in anticipation. Now she understood why people thought the holidays were depressing.

"Maria," Amy called. "Maria, you can’t just mope around all week. Come help me bake cookies."

Maria wasn’t really in the mood to "bake cookies" but she didn’t want to upset her mother. She felt bad for Amy. The woman had done so much to try to make the holiday special, the least Maria could do was help her cook. "Fine," Maria answered, turning to face her mother. She rose slowly out of her chair and somehow managed to drag herself to the kitchen.

"Honey are you sick?" Amy said, concerned. "You seem out of it."

"I’m fine, I feel fine," Maria snapped. Her mother looked stricken. "Sorry mom. I’m not sick," she said calmer. "It’s just…just everything."

"Maybe I can help. What’s wrong?" Amy said, trying to help.

"It’s a long story. You wouldn’t understand."

"Maybe…" May stopped when she saw the glare on Maria’s face. "Is this about Michael?"

"Mom," Maria whined. "Michael is none existent. I have nothing to do with him, he has nothing to do with me. Leave it alone."

Amy stumbled backwards, like she had been pushed. "I’m sorry honey," she said trying to comfort her daughter. I know you liked him."

"Yeah, I did. But I was stupid to trust him," Maria yelled, storming out of the house. She didn’t want her mother asking senseless questions. Didn’t she understand. Men were bastards. She of all people should understand that. Maria had been careless, just like her mother. She had given her heart to someone who didn’t want it. Maybe it was true, the apple never falls far from the tree.

It was none of her business, anyway. Michael was a jerk and that was the end of that.

Michael had made it clear that he no longer wanted her in his life. She could live with that, well she could try. But every so often he would contradict himself and come to her with something he needed or just to try to be kind. That she couldn’t live with. It was tearing her apart piece by piece, and all she could do was stand and watch, frozen. She couldn’t stand it. Michael was not the type of guy you become "just friends" with. When they were together it was wonderful, she never felt so alive or so safe. But they couldn’t be together, when they were apart, after he had ripped out her heart, nothing was right.

~~~~~~~~~

The days went by slowly. Maria, Liz and Alex hung out a lot. All of them missed their alien counterpart, but none would admit it. At least they could distract each other, they had become good at that.

Christmas Eve arrived and Maria still felt no cheer. She had not seen or talked to Michael the whole vacation week. He had not come by the Crashdown with Max, Isabel and Tess. It was like he had disappeared.

Maria was watching some dumb Christmas movie on tv and munching on cookies when the phone rang. Maria picked it up, glad to have something to do. Her mom was at Valenti’s and everyone else seemed to have something better to do.

"Hey," Maria said into the receiver.

"Hey, Maria," she heard Max answer back.

"What you calling for?" Maria asked. She thought Max would have plenty to do with his family. Or at least be with Liz.

"Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas," he sounded hurt. "Is that so wrong?" Both of them laughed.

"Thanks. So what you been up to?"

"Nothing much. Mom’s all caught up in the Christmas spirit and she’s taking us along for the ride. Tomorrow we’re having our usual feast. Michael’s coming over. My mom felt bad that he might spend it alone." Maria knew Max had said that for her own sake, and she was grateful. It helped knowing that Michael had somewhere to go.

"Sounds great. Mom and I are heading to the Parker’s for our Whitman/De Luca/Parker party. It’s tradition." Maria heard a knock at the door. Max continued talking about plans or something while Maria rose to answer it. Guessing it was her mother without her keys again,, she pulled it open. When she saw who it was all the little remarks she had thought up left her head.

The phone dropped from her hand as she stood frozen in her place. She scrambled to pick it up. "Look, Max, I’ll call you later, k? Bye," she said hurriedly

She put the phone down, her eyes still glued to the person at the door. "Mi…Michael," she stammered. "Michael what are you doing there?"

"Um…What was Max calling for? Anything important?" Michael asked. He looked uncomfortable standing in the doorway but Maria wasn’t about to help him out. He had taken her by surprise again and this time she wasn’t going to let him in so easy, let him have what he wanted, than leave her again.

"Well if wishing someone a Merry Christmas is important, than yes," Maria said sarcastically. "Now, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see you. I thought…well," Michael stopped short. Still Maria felt no pity for him. He must have come for something, and she was going to find out what it was.

"What Michael, what did you think? Never mind, Michael Guerin doesn’t think, that was a stupid question, forgive me," Michael said, turning to walk down the stairs. Maria grabbed his arm. Damn it all, she wasn’t going to lose him now, she didn’t really care why he was there, but he was. She couldn’t lose that.

"Wait," she said, pleading with him. "Come inside, I’ll make us hot chocolate…with Tabasco sauce," she added. She saw him laugh and slowly he turned back towards her.

"Sounds good," he smiled. It was one of the only times he had smiled for her. People like him didn’t smile much and she felt special it was for her, only her.

~~~~~~~~~

They sat quietly facing each other at the De Luca’s kitchen table sipping hot cocoa. The air was full of tension. Maria was happy just to be in the same room as Michael, but she still didn’t know what he wanted. She looked at him and caught his eye, but he quickly diverted his gaze. She was glad he broke it, because she could get lost in those eyes forever. She could stare into them until the last sun set and the last moon rose. They made her forget there was anything else, they were torturous.

"Maria," Michael said, sounding unsure. His voice startled her, it was small, helpless almost.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Uh…I brought you something," she said standing up and pulling her to her feet.

"You what?" she said, not able to hide her surprise. Michael led her into her living room, in front of the lighted tree. It was a sweet gesture, and Maria felt herself melting, once again, for this boy who was more incapable of sweetness and love than the tree itself. It’s harsh, but true. Maria had her fears too. But she could get over them. He had valid reasons, but she wished he could get over them too.

"I brought you something for Christmas," he smiled and pulled a small wrapped box from his pocket. He handed it to Maria and she held it up to her ear and shook it. "Careful," he warned, stopping her hand. The touch sent sparks through her body and she shied away from it, freeing herself from his fingers.

"Oh," she said simply. What the hell would he buy her? He avoids her for weeks, doesn’t even see her. And he expects to come here and give her a gift and it will be all right. Well he had been correct. Everything was all right.

Nothing had ever been more right. All the Christmas cheer she had felt in her sixteen years came tumbling back to her. she saw all her Christmases in her life, and none could even begin to compare to this one. He reminded her why Christmas was her favorite holiday; because it was about love, and hope, and joy.

"What is it?" Maria questioned, watching her hands intently as they turned the package round and round.

"Open it," Michael whispered stepping closer to her. Maria slid her finger beneath the wrapping paper and sliced the tape with her nail in one quick movement. She wanted to know if he had wrapped it himself, if his hands had carefully folded and taped the paper. But she didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Carefully she pulled the box from the wrapping paper. It was a velvet jewelry box. Maria snapped it open. She gasped when she saw the silver necklace that was carefully laid inside. It was gorgeous.

Maria fingered the chain of the necklace. Attached was a small glass charm. Extracting the present from the boy she held it up to the light. A heart, it was a heart. Not like the regular heart, but shaped like a real one, like the organ. Painted onto the charm was a tiny picture of herself. The gift was breathtaking. More precious than any gem in the world.

"Do you like it?" Michael asked, sounding unsure of himself.

"Yes," she breathed. "It’s beautiful Michael."

"I painted it."

"Michael, it’s gorgeous," Maria said turning it around. Michael took it from her and undid the clasp. He walked behind her and placed it around her neck. The metal was cool against her sin but Michael’s breath burned her as he leaned in to fasten it.

"Maria, this Christmas, I give you my heart," he whispered against her ear. "I give it to you, for it is yours already. You will always own it, you have always owned it, and now I give it to you freely." Tears welled up in Maria’s eyes as Michael placed a light kiss against her throat.

"But Michael," she said as she turned to face him. "Michael, I have nothing to give you."

"Your acceptance of my gift is good enough for me," he said. Maria’s tears flowed freely down her cheeks, unchecked.

"I accept it, with all my being. Michael Guerin, I love you. I loved you that day we got stuck in the motel, and everyday after." Maria threw her arms around his neck and sealed her words with a kiss.

Michael wiped away Maria’s tears and wrapped his hands around her back. "I love you too, Maria De Luca. And I will never love anyone else the same. I am yours, now and forever."

"Thank you," she whispered. Maria didn’t know where he had found his words. Well he had read Ulysses, he must have a little bit of a poet in him. And she didn’t know where she found the courage to tell him she loved him. Maybe it was the same place he found his words. Because Maria De Luca had sworn she would never fall in love. It only caused pain. But with Michael she had broken all the rules she had ever made for herself, except this one. Now not one was left unshattered, and she felt free.

"Thank you," he whispered back.

~~~~~~~~~

They stood there holding one another for a while. "Wanna go for a walk?" Maria asked.

"It’s cold," Michael replied.

"Baby," she laughed. "I want to see the decorations." Dusk was just beginning to fall and people were busy plugging in lights. Now that Maria was back in the spirit she wanted to enjoy all that she had missed.

Maria walked to the kitchen and grabbed her coat. She walked out the door and waited for Michael to join her on the sidewalk. Maria took his hand and began walking.

"We’re not going to become one of those boring, mushy couples, like Max and Liz, are we?" Michael asked.

"Us, boring, mushy. What are you talking about?" Maria joked. "And what happened to that sweet guy who just gave me his heart for Christmas?"

"I wrapped him up, stuck him under the tree, and wrote do not open til Christmas ’01 on him."

"Then it will just have to be Christmas everyday," she smiled.

"You wish," he rolled his eyes.

"Michael, you do know things are going to have to change if you expect me to stick around?"

"I know," he said seriously. "I know I haven’t been the greatest boyfriend, or even friend, but you have to understand. I was afraid. Afraid of hurting myself, or Max or Isabel. But mostly I was afraid of hurting you; mentally, physically, emotionally."

"I’m willing to take the risk," Maria said.

"So am I," Michael consented. "I never like Christmas, it was too happy. And until this year I don’t remember ever being happy in my life. Now I see why people like Christmas. It’s a good feeling."

Maria squeezed Michael’s hand. She knew how hard his life had been. Hank probably wasn’t one for the holiday celebrations. "It’s always been my favorite," she said as they mounted the steps to her house.

Maria stopped in the doorway and looked up. She remembered her mom had hung mistletoe there, and hoped Michael would take the hint. He saw it and, crushing her body against his, planted a kiss on her lips. "Merry Christmas, Maria," he whispered. Snow began to fall around them. Maria looked up to the heavens as snowflakes brushed against her face, feather soft.