Maria ran – she ran to get away from Michael, ran to get away from his words, and ran to get away from the recent memories that filled that wretched place. She now knew that she meant nothing to him – that’s pretty much what he said. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t keep his hands – his lips – off of her the whole week. It didn’t matter that there was some intense electric chemistry between them. It just mattered that he could selfishly take her kisses and then throw away her heart.

Every person she passed seemed to be in the midst of some sort of sexual trance. Maria quickly scanned each face, hoping that just one might be able to afford her the comfort that she sought. Mostly, they were strangers – all too enraptured in their own lives to notice anyone else. She couldn’t fault them for being oblivious to her pain – just an hour ago, or even moments ago, she was completely wrapped up in the same lust.

So, instead she focused on getting it back. That which he took from her so cruelly. It was almost as if Michael got off on hurting her as much as he did by kissing her. Her lips recalled the feeling of his - hungrily devouring her kisses. The hairs on her neck bristled as she could almost feel his breath seductively travelling down towards her shoulder. Her body was betraying her – much like he had just done – and Maria couldn’t decide what was worse. Knowing that she had almost completely given her heart to him – or knowing that he didn’t want it.

It would be too easy just to say that Michael was a bastard and be done with it. But it would also be impossible. Even if he was unaware that she had silently offered him her love, Maria couldn’t forget it. And couldn’t stop scolding herself for it. It wasn’t like he hadn’t given her any hints - Michael was constantly rude and demeaning, he never gave her credit for anything, and avoided her after *he* had kissed *her.* He was always running hot and cold with when it came to her – every time Maria thought that she had some sort of a grasp on him, he would do a complete 180. It was now obvious that the little things that would send her emotions reeling only repulsed him – if they had any effect at all.

Trying to stifle her tears, Maria pushed through the crowd. She suddenly remembered the look on Michael’s face right before she ran out of the room. He actually had the audacity to look shocked – she couldn’t believe it. He had basically told her that she wasn’t good for much more than kissing – and *he* was surprised that she left. Everything was swirling around her now – people, noises, the heat that had been causing all of these forbidden emotions to come to the surface. Maria cursed them all – and cursed herself for once again falling prey to Michael Guerin’s game. There was no good reason that she should be attracted to him – none at all. He was a fashion victim from the start, and all they ever did was bicker. Even when faced with being stranded in some deserted place in Texas, they couldn’t see eye to eye. Why did she ever think that there was something more?

Maria felt like she had been running for hours when she finally found herself outside. But the same song was booming from the building, the one that played as the background music for Michael’s confession. She turned and took a long last look at the place of her latest humiliation. Sinking to her knees, Maria slumped as the events ran over her mind yet again. Her heart cried out, knowing that the anger and exhaustion was not enough to free it from its anguish. Or free Maria from her love for Michael. The pain had not diminished, but the ally she had been seeking had finally come to her side. Grateful for the air, Maria did what she had been unable to do with him so close, with the feeling of him all around her – just sit and breathe.

Barely Breathing

I know what you’re doing, I see it all too clear

I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears

You really had me going, wishing on a star

But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far

I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn

Well it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born

There’s not much to examine, there’s nothing left to hide

You really can’t be serious if you have to ask me why

I say good-bye...

‘Cause I am barely breathing And I can’t find the air

I don’t know who I’m kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price

The price that I would pay

Everyone keeps asking, what’s it all about?

I used to be so certain and I can’t figure out

What is this attraction? I only feel the pain

There’s nothing left to reason and only you to blame

Will it ever change?

‘Cause I am barely breathing

And I can’t find the air

I don’t know who I’m kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price

The price that I would pay

But I’m thinking it over anyway...

I’ve come to find

I may never know

Your changing mind

Is it friend or foe?

I rise above

Or sink below

With every time

You come and go

Please don’t come and go ‘Cause I am barely breathing

And I can’t find the air

I don’t know who I’m kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price

The price that I would pay