"After"
"Understanding" |
Part 4 by Diana |
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters. No
infringement intended. Summary: "Understanding" Another Destiny Tag… Alex’s Point of view Category: Other Rating: PG-13 Authors Note: This is my interpretation of what the characters were going through a few days/ weeks after ‘Destiny’… Feedback is always appreciated... Thanks to everyone who's sent me feedback on my other stories :-D |
I haven’t slept in days. I can’t sleep. When I close
my eyes, I see her face again and if I let myself fall
asleep, I’ll dream about her. It hurts too much to
sleep. I think I can take insomnia for a little
longer. She came to me the night after that whole destiny thing played out. She told me everything. She cried in my arms and she fell asleep while I held her. And when I woke up the next morning, she was gone. I haven’t seen her since. I haven’t slept since. I don’t know what to tell Liz and Maria. Liz is completely broken up over this. I’ve watched her cry into her apron at the Crashdown. All I can do is hold her and tell her that I know what she’s going through. And Maria spends half of the time angry and the other half of the time crying with Liz. All I can do is try to calm her down and tell her that I know exactly how she’s feeling. Those two girls are my best friends. We’ve been through everything together. Now it looks like we’ll go through this together too. I see how both of them are hurting, how I’m hurting, but I can’t do anything about it. All I can do is try to be strong for them, try to comfort them, and tell them that I understand. I’m tired of being so damn understanding. I have adored this girl for as long as I can remember. And finally she cares about me. She’s let me in. And now I might lose her. All I can do is tell Liz and Maria that I understand. And I tell them that everything will work out, for them at least. See, I know that Liz will be happy in the end. She’ll have Max eventually. They have this whole Romeo and Juliet thing going on. And Romeo and Juliet did end up together, even if they ended up dead. And Maria? She has nothing to worry about. She should be used to her on again/ off again thing with Michael. He’ll come back to her. He always does. And she’ll take him back. She always does. Maria has nothing to worry about. I even think that Tess’ll be happy someday. Maybe she’ll hook-up with Kyle now that he’s been healed, now that he knows, and now that he’s probably as confused as the rest of us. That would work out, I guess. But what about Isabel? She’s my angel. My dream girl. I want nothing more than to be with her. I don’t care who she is or what she is. She’s my Isabel. I think that I’ve finally gotten to her. She cares about me now. I was just “Who?” to her before. Now I’m Alex. Trusty, caring, always-there-if-you-need-a-shoulder-to-cry-on-and-always-there-if-you-need-anything-else, understanding Alex. And what about me? I’m angry as hell. Liz and Max, Michael and Maria, even Kyle and Tess, if it comes to that, they’ll all be happy. I know that. And I know how I feel. I think. I just don’t know how she feels. I just want to know if she lov-- if she cares about me or not. You know, really cares. She’s kissed me, so I’m pretty sure that she likes me. You know, really likes me. Or at least she did before. But Isabel and I were just getting started. We were getting… close. Now that she knows about her “destiny,” I don’t know how she feels. Finding out about where she comes from means so much to her. And if she thinks that fulfilling that destiny will help her find out more about herself, then she’d never turn her back on it. Not for me. Max would give up everything for Liz. Michael would bitch and whine about everything and then give it all up for Maria. But Isabel? For me? I really don’t know. And I won’t ask her to. I’ll let her make her own decisions. It’s all very confusing. And it makes me so angry. I mean, this girl finally knows I’m alive. She knows how I feel. She’s accepted that, and we’re friends now. Maybe we’re more than friends now. She’s let me be there for her. She’s let me in. But what if she pushes me away again? What if she decides that she needs to follow her destiny? What if she decides that she doesn’t need humans at all? That she doesn’t need me? What do I do then? Tell her I understand? Just let her go and act like Isabel Evans had never known me and I had never cared about her? No. I can’t let her go. And even if she leaves or pushes me away, I won’t let go. I think I love her. Part of me wants to go to her. I want to take her away from everything. I know that she’s strong. I know that she’ll be able to deal with this. But I want to protect her. I want to be with her. We make our own destinies. Part of me wants to make her see that. I know that she has to deal with this on her own first. I want her to be safe. I want her to be happy. She has to make her own decisions. She knows how I feel. I hope she feels the same way about me. All I can do right now is wait. I don’t sleep. I don’t want to have to dream about her. I want to hold her in my arms again. I stay up and wait for Isabel. My angel. I sit by my window and watch the stars. And sometimes I can feel her. And I’ll know that somewhere, she’s watching those same stars with me. That feeling is better than anything I could dream. |
Part 3 | Index |