In a few hours the sun would start to come up, but it would stay dark in her room. She had a big window on one side of her room, but it gave her a perfect view of the Empire State building and that was something she didn't want to see. She didn't want to look at it and remember that she should have been there 3 months ago, starting her life with Michael.

She had looked up. She hadn't been able to stop herself from looking up that day. If only I hadn't looked up.

Her face burned to shed more tears, but as usual she fought them with all her might.

Outside of her room she could here the squeaking footsteps of nurses and doctors, the beeping sounds from various monitors, tape being torn here and there, papers being crumpled or messed with, pencils and pens used to scribble more notes. In the bed next to her lay an old lady around 70 years old, asleep?

"Maria."

Or so Maria thought she was asleep.

"Is everything OK, Mrs. Anderson?" Maria asked, worried.

The old lady chuckled warmly, making Maria think of her mother and her warm expressions and laughter. Suddenly, Maria just wanted to go home and be in her old room, snuggled warmly in her bed, with her mother coming in to bring her chicken soup and feeling her forehead to make sure she was all right. It was quite strange, but her mother's hand on her forehead had always made Maria feel better. Like maybe she could still be snuggled nice and tight in the warmth of her mothers womb.

"Oh, I'm fine dear," Mrs. Anderson began. "I'm just worried about you."

A week ago, Mrs. Anderson was brought in with lung problems. Although her problems were never important to her as were Maria's. She immediately taken to Maria as a daughter and Maria couldn't help, but feel comfort by it. Until last week, Maria had almost forgotten what it was like to have a mother. She had always felt guilty for what happened 10 years ago.

She had insisted on driving the car. Maria protested because her mother had a bad headache the whole night. But, her mom said no, that she would drive the car. So, Maria reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat, staring at her mother to make sure she was all right. A few minutes after they got on the rode her mom winced at the pain she felt in her head and missed stopping at the red light. The truck hit the driver side, killing her mother instantly. She never even got to say goodbye.

It should've been me, Maria thought to herself. I should have drove home that night; I should have been the one to die. Instead, she got broken ribs, a few bruises, and the more serious, a piece of glass slicing into her wrist. That had been the one to cause her almost death, which Maria had wanted more than anything, she had lay there wanting to die.

It all happened right after graduation. Right when Maria was supposed to be going and starting a new life of her own and all she wanted was to die.

She couldn't help, but think that history was repeating itself. She was supposed to start a new life with Michael that day and a car hitting her stopped her from it. It put her in the hospital with no feeling from her waist down. Maybe it's my punishment, Maria thought. Maybe I was supposed to die that night in my mother's car instead of her. Maybe this is my payment for being in the wrong spot.

"Maria, sweetheart?"

Maria looked over and saw Mrs. Anderson staring at her.

"I'm sorry," said Maria.

"Are you OK?" She asked.

Maria tried her best to smile at her. "Yes, I am," she lied. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"Oh child, don't worry about her. I can never sleep in a hospital. It's too confining," Mrs. Anderson said. Maria took in a deep breath and desperately tried to hold back tears.

"Mrs. Anderson?" Maria's voice cracked.

Mrs. Anderson looked really worried now. "What's wrong dear? Are you in pain? Do you need me to call a doctor?"

Maria shook her head. "No. I just...um...would you tell me another story. Tell me about another one of your adventures," Maria said with a sad smile.

Mrs. Anderson looked at Maria with sorrow in her eyes, but she smiled and began to talk.

Maria sat back and listened to her soothing voice. She always had these wonderful stories of her life. 70 years on earth and she had never missed a moment, a feeling, of anything.

Mrs. Anderson had lived a fulfilling life. A life of adventures, of love, of children and never regretted a moment of it. She told stories of her husband and how they found each other. She told about her children and her grandchildren. She told Maria of her days as a nurse in the war.

She had the life Maria had wanted. She wanted to be 70 or 80 years old lying in a hospital dying and looking back at her life smiling because she had never missed anything. She wanted to look back and remember every single moment of her and Michael's life together, of their children and there adventures. But, none of that life would ever happen.

"I don't know who you think you are! But, I've been playing this game since BEFORE you were even born!"

Michael looked up into the eyes of a 40 year-old Quarterback and said, "Then you want to start acting like it?" Michael then lowered his voice to menacing, "Now, get your ass back on that field and PLAY THE FUCKING GAME!"

The look of rage left the football players eyes and fear replaced it. He immediately turned around and ran to the field.

"Hey, Michael! You gonna lay off of him?" One of the football players asked. "I mean this weekends game is his farewell game."

"Well, then let me be the first to say farewell and good riddance!" Michael said as he shoved the clipboard at one of the other coaches and left the field.

He stomped outside and then climbed into his car. Sitting there taking a few deep breathes, he wondered why he had decided to take the Giants contract after all and stay in New York.

Michael blinked his eyes and realized that he had been staring at the hospital not even a few blocks away. He began to think of Maria and he wondered why the hospital would make him think of her.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath when he realized that everything made him think of her. He couldn't stop himself from wondering what she was doing at this moment.

"Probably, dashing off to another Yankees game to see Kyle play," he said out loud.

Why did life have to be so hard, he asked himself, why can't you just pick who you want to love?

It'd be harder even if you could. Even if you got to pick who you loved that would mean you loved them anyway, so there'd be know point in picking.

His cell phone broke him of his thoughts and he answered it.

"Guerin," he muttered in the phone.

"Michael, its Max."

"Yeah, hey Max," he said into the phone.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" He asked.

"No, I'm fine. What do you need?"

"I wondered if you were coming to dinner tonight?" Max asked.

Michael sighed. "Max, I'm not coming. I know you are trying to fix me up with Isabel again and it's not going to happen."

"Michael, I'm not trying to do that. Believe me. She's not even in town. So, will you please come?" He asked, pleadingly.

"Yeah, fine."

"So, we brought you your favorite, chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce," Liz said as she placed the food down in front of Maria.

"Thank you," Maria said as she opened up the carton of nuggets. Kyle came over and gave her a kiss on the forehead, which Maria barely noticed.

"So, how are you feeling today?" He asked, looking into her eyes.

"I'm fine," she said. Kyle kept staring at her and Maria hoped he would give up there. She sighed inwardly when he sat down and dug into his food. Liz grabbed the remote and began changing the channels on the TV.

"Nothing is on," she said although she kept changing the channels. She settled for the news and went on to eating.

Maria looked up at the television and saw a football team at practice. Sadness came over her again as she thought about Michael. She closed her eyes and begged herself not to cry.

"Football Coach Michael Guerin, says the team will be in top shape for the upcoming game this Sunday," the reporter said. Maria couldn't take it. She dropped a nugget into the box as if it was making her nauseous.

"Um...guys, I thank you for visiting me, but I want to be alone," Maria's voice cracked. Liz and Kyle stared at her for a second and then started to get up.

"Maria, are you OK?" Liz asked while rubbing Maria's forehead. Maria nodded.

"I'm just really tired. Could you turn off the TV?" She almost begged. Liz nodded and clicked the off button. She leaned in and kissed Maria on the cheek.

"If you need anything, just call me," Liz told her and Maria nodded again. Liz left the room and Maria was left alone with Kyle. Kyle stepped over to the bed and looked into her eyes.

"Maria, I want to ask you something," he said. Maria waited for him to ask her. "After we broke up, were you…" He stopped to think for a second. He wasn't sure if it was his place to ask. "Were you seeing someone else?"

Maria looked at the man that she once loved. Although she didn't love him anymore she'd never want to break his heart. She smiled and shook her head, "No. No, I wasn't."

Kyle smiled at rubbed her face. "You're a hard one to crack, Maria." He said as he kissed her on the cheek and then left the room.

Maria slumped down in the bed and looked up at the ceiling. The door opened and one of the doctors came over.

"Maria," she said as she walked over to her.

"Are you OK? Liz told me you wanted to be left alone," Dr. Rodriguez said.

"I'm fine," Maria said.

"Are you absolutely sure?" The doctor asked.

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that," Maria said.

"Maria, it's only because we do care about you," She said.

"Yeah, I know. I have been wanting to tell you that um I can feel the blankets on my legs and that I can move them just a twitch," Maria said. The doctor looked skeptically at her legs.

"Well, that's good. That is excellent and it means we are making progress. But, first we are going to let you out of here. We'll bring you back for physical therapy everyday and then we'll discuss whether we need surgery of if they will heal on there own," the doctor said.

Maria nodded, "Yeah I know. I just...I really want to walk again. Can I tell you something?"

Doctor Rodriguez nodded.

"There is someone I would like to see again. Someone who doesn't know about this. And I don't want to see him until I can walk again," Maria said. The doctor smiled in understanding.