Maria: Mmmm! Ahhhh! Ooooh! Oh, Michael Guerin, stop!

Michael: Why?

Maria: Uh…Devin might be watching?

Michael: If he is, then he and Alex are both toast.

(Michael nips at Maria’s neck. She puts her head on his shoulder. She kisses his neck. He returns the favor. They cuddle!)

Maria: Uh… Michael…

Michael: Uh huh!

Maria: I think I need another history lesson.

Michael: Like this?

(Michael puts his arms around Maria and his mouth over hers. They kiss passionately. As before, they both experience flashes of their recent past. The Crashdown, the cave, the cabin, a dance, the motel, Max and Liz, Michael’s apartment, invisible Max, Maria’s room, Maria’s bed, Maria’s mom…oh noooo, Maria's mom. Maria pulls away momentarily, then...)

Maria: I…I need more, Michael.

Michael: How much more, Maria?

Maria: I’ve lost six months. I think I’ve only seen three so far.

Michael: You wouldn’t lie to me about that would you?

Maria: Would you really care if I did?

Michael: Probably not.

(They hug again and resume kissing...their tongues nearly exchanging mouths. More flashes…Maria smiles…then…)

Maria: Is it hot in here, Michael?

Michael: A little. Do you think it's hot?

Maria: Uh huh!

(Maria unbuttons the top of Michael’s shirt. Michael does the same to hers.)

Maria: Better, but it’s still pretty warm.

(This is fast approaching something beyond our "family" network rating. Mrs. Zoombash, the eighty-six year old owner of the B.S. network just doesn’t want…well…the staff says she’s just…maybe she’s…Well…look…if we want to stay on the air we better cool it. Instead of more M/M, let's look in on Alex and Devin and see how they’re doing…)

Devin: Aren’t you done yet? I’m getting tired of lying in this position.

Alex: Hey man…this is critical work. Given what I'm doing, you don’t want me to mess up do you?

Devin: Only if it means I'd be able to kidnap that cute little blond that sits next to me in science class.

Alex: I didn’t know you were programmed for sarcasm.

Devin: There's probably a lot you don't know about me.

Alex: Au contraire my friend. After studying your program for three days, you can run but you can't hide. There isn't much I don’t know about you. I especially know what your data stream looks like if you even think about telling someone besides "we six" about where Michael and company come from. The hard part was making it so you wouldn't self- destruct if you talked to us about it. The good news is, I’m almost done. I’ve tested this poison pill routine on two different computers. It cleaned and reformatted both of them almost without a trace. I can’t exactly test it on you, but there’s no reason to believe it wouldn’t do the same thing.

Devin: Please…no test! It’s a matter of me, remember?

Alex: I know. I’ll be careful. All I’ve got to do now is run a virus scan and install it in your CPU.

Devin: Just the thought of having it in there scares me, Alex.

Alex: Hey! This was your idea and it's better than the alternative. I sincerely hope it will never be run. This is just something to make the other’s comfortable with you. Just between you, me and the fence post; I copied everything I could onto these zip disks. I’m going to make sure they’re locked up in my safety deposit box. The others don’t need to know.

Devin: You mean, if something ever did go wrong…

Alex: I could at least get you back to where you are today.

Devin: Nice thought Alex, but I know I wouldn’t be the same. Every experience makes me more…more…

Alex: Human?

Devin: I didn’t want to be that presumptuous.

Alex: Come on, Devin. Give yourself some credit. I can see what’s happening to you. That’s the reason I couldn’t let it stop.

Devin: Just finish installing the program, will you? I’m tired of lying here with a wire dangling out of my butt.

Alex: This would go a lot faster if you wouldn’t keep knocking it loose.

Devin: Hey, I didn’t put that connection there. I can’t move without disturbing it. Something about making it hard to see I guess!

Alex: I wouldn’t have noticed that little snap off panel. Of course, I don’t make a habit of looking up other guy's butts either.

Devin: So, my polymer is a pretty good flesh imitation?

Alex: Yes, it is.

Devin: It’s really neat stuff, Alex. It responds just like muscle tissue to electrical impulses. That’s what makes me able to appear human. It pulls and stretches just like a muscle as my CPU sends impulses to different areas as needed. I’ve even got a pulse and a heartbeat.

(Alex picks up and holds Devin’s wrist.)

Alex: That’s amazing. There is a pulse there. Does the rate vary?

Devin: It does, depending on the demand for polymer charges. That varies with what I’m doing.

Alex: So, they really wanted to be able to pass you off as a human?

Devin: I never got the impression that passing me off was the goal. I think I really was just your uncle trying to see how close he could come.

Alex: I’d say he came pretty damn close. Whatever you're made of, and even with your clothes off, I couldn’t tell you from a human just by looking. You’ve even got the appropriate male anatomy.

Devin: Yeh…they thought I might have to take a gym class or something. Unfortunately, I’ve only got feeling sensors in my hands, arms, feet, head, and a few in my stomach and back areas.

Alex: What more do you need?

Devin: Well, from what I observed, the neck would be nice. And I understand the human male appendage has…

(Oops…I can just feel Mrs. Zoombash running for the phone. I thought those two would be safe to put on. I don't understand Mrs. Z holding us to this 'family" standard when she allows the "WKF Smoochdown" on the air. Maybe it's because that show has a sponsor…and ratings. Oh well! Maybe what Max and Liz are doing is what we should be showing…)

(Scene: Liz’ room. She's reading aloud from a book…)

Liz: Don Cable, Dennis Cade, Ruth Caldwell, Richard Cane, Amanda Callahan,

(Liz looks up and sees Max on the balcony listening to her. She motions him in.)

Max: Liz, what are you doing?

Liz: I'm reading the phone book. I’m trying to practice saying names aloud so maybe I can stop saying them backwards.

Max: But the phone book already lists people last name first.

Liz: I know. I have to force myself to turn them around. I thought if I did that enough…

Max: There has to be a better solution than reading the phone book.

Liz: I’d like to hear it. The phone book isn't exactly Shakespeare.

Max: Try this…

(Max eases her down on the bed and begins caressing her.)

Liz: Mmmm! Ahhhh! Ooooh! Oh, Evans Max, stop!

Max: Why?

Liz: Uh…Devin might be watching?

Max: If he is, he and Alex are both toast.

(Max nips at Liz's neck. She puts her head on his shoulder. She kisses his neck. He returns the favor.)

Liz: Uh…Max…

Max: Uh huh!

Liz: I think I need another history lesson.

Max: Like this?

(Max puts his arms around Liz and his mouth over hers. They kiss passionately. As before, they both experience flashes of their recent past. The Crashdown, the cave, the cabin, a dance, the motel, Michael and Maria, Michael’s apartment, the field trip, invisible Max…naked… with Liz on his lap in Alex’s car, Liz’ room, Liz’ mom…aack…mom. She pulls away momentarily.)

Liz: I…I need more, Max.

Max: How much more, Liz?

Liz: I’ve lost six months. I think I’ve only seen three so far.

Max: You wouldn’t lie to me on that would you?

Liz: Would you care if I did?

Max: Probably not.

(They hug again and resume kissing...their tongues nearly exchanging mouths. More flashes…Liz smiles…then…)

Liz: Is it hot in here, Max?

Max: A little. Do you think it's hot?

(Liz: Uh huh!)

(Liz unbuttons the top of Max’ shirt. Max does the same to hers.)

Liz: Better, but it’s still warm.

(Oh dear…there must be something in the Roswell water. Isn’t there anything we can show that Mrs. Zoombash will approve of? I wonder what Isabel is doing.)

(Isabel knocks on Alex's bedroom door)

Alex: Who is it?

Isabel: It's me, honey.

Alex: Hang on a minute, Isabel. Devin still has his clothes off.

Isabel: He has his clothes off? Somehow, I don't think I want to know what's going on in there.

Alex: It's nothing! I just needed to finish what I’m doing to his programming.

Isabel: That takes his being naked?

Alex: He's not naked. He's got a shirt on…unbuttoned, but on.

Isabel: Please, don't say any more. My mind is seeing things I don't want to see. Kinky sex with a male android?

Devin: Don't worry, Isabel. Alex is not my type.

Alex: Come on, Isabel. You know me better than…

Isabel: I thought I did.

Alex: You do! I'll open the door in just a minute. We're almost done.

Isabel: With what, Alex?

Alex: I told you. I'm programming Devin with what you wanted me to.

Isabel: I still don't understand why he has to have his pants off.

Alex: Trust me…you don't want to know. We know what we're doing.

Devin: It's OK, Isabel. I'm positive Alex wants to see you a whole lot more than he wants to see me with my pants off.

Alex: You can say that again.

Devin: You no doubt expect me to repeat what I just said, but my brain is functioning just fine now, so I'm not even going to think about doing that.

Isabel: Good, because that's something Alex would do. Don't pick up any of his bad habits, Devin. I couldn't stand two people doing things like that.

Devin: Thanks for the compliment.

Isabel: What did I say?

Devin: I think you called me a people. I am trying to be one.

Isabel: You took a big step with me when I read your fear of us. I think that you have something happening to you, Devin.

(Alex finishes and disconnects the wire. Devin puts on his pants and buttons his shirt. Alex opens the door.)

Alex: Come on in, honey.

Isabel: I hope you know I was only teasing you about what you two might have been doing.

Alex: You sounded really worried to me.

(Alex smiles broadly.)

Devin: If you weren't kidding, I'd have really been worried about you.

Isabel: So you have the ability to worry?

Devin: I’d say, probably more than I need. I was way worried about what you people were going to do to me. I’m still worried I’m going to have to go back to the lab someday.

Isabel: You'll be OK, Devin. He doesn’t have to go back does he, Alex?

Alex: Not for awhile, anyway. My dad’s the only one who knows we know about him and I convinced him not to say anything. My uncle’s still out of the country anyhow.

Isabel: Then I say, you shouldn’t worry about it. I’ve got to run to a hair appointment, guys. How about we get everybody together at the Crashdown later. We haven’t all just hung out together in a long time. It’s been one of those, “we need to talk” sessions every time we’ve met lately.

Alex: OK! I’ll call Max and Michael and see what’s up. About seven?

Isabel: Sounds good! You come too, Devin.

Devin: Can I, Alex?

Alex: Why not? You're not grounded any more. You don't need my permission; you can do whatever you want again.

Devin: I'd still appreciate some coaching.

Alex: Sure…but you're doing fine on your own…and you certainly have more insight than you did when you first came here, right?

Devin: Can I drive you to the hairdresser, Isabel.

(Alex looks pained!)

Alex: Uh, Devin…when it comes to Isabel, maybe you should ask me first. I'll drive you, Isabel.

(Isabel smiles at both of them.)

Isabel: Forget it guys. I drove the Jeep over here anyway.

(Hmmm…does Alex seem jealous? Or is he just being over protective of Isabel? Devin was just trying to be nice, wasn’t he? A few hours later at the Crashdown…)

Liz: So Maria, how are the history lessons going?

Maria: How did you know about my history lessons?

Liz: Well, Max is tutoring me. I just assumed…

Maria: You assumed right. Michael's been wonderful.

Liz: So has Max. And Isabel, your late night sessions have been helping me in school too.

Maria: Is there any way you could do that for me?

Isabel: I suppose we could work something out. It's too bad Michael never goes to class or he could help you with the school stuff too.

Michael: What does she need to know? Maybe you could tutor me and I could help her.

Isabel: That would truly be the long way around.

Michael: But it certainly would be more fun.

Alex: It's nice to see everyone in such a good mood.

(He flashes a smile at Isabel and gives her a quick kiss.)

Max: I agree. And I'm happy Liz and Maria are regaining so much lost ground. Now if we could just get Liz past reading the phone book out loud…

Alex: Why was she doing that?

Liz: I was trying to force myself to say people's names correctly. I thought if I did it enough, I'd quit turning them inside out.

Isabel: You're still doing that, despite your getting all the other memories being restored?

Liz: I'm afraid so. I even called our teacher Lewis Mr. Instead of Mr. Lewis.

Devin: That sounds like a lost cluster problem.

Alex: It kind of does, doesn’t it Devin.

Max: What are you computer geniuses talking about?

Alex: It sounds like what happens to a hard drive. The drive goes to look for something and can't find it in the right spot, so it jumps to the next event, then goes back and finds what it wanted in the first place in some other location.

Isabel: But Liz isn't a computer. No offense, Devin!

Devin: None taken. But I've got an idea. Alex…can I talk to you alone?

Alex: Sure.

(Alex and Devin walk outside for a moment.)

Max: Alex has found a soul mate…even if Devin doesn't have a soul.

Isabel: He has something.

Max: What do you mean?

Isabel: When he was over at Michael’s, essentially begging us for his life, I felt fear coming from him. Real human type fear! I can't explain it, but Alex says the more he's around us, the more he’s becoming like a living person.

Michael: He still is what he is, Isabel. I agreed to let him continue to be, but I still have difficulty treating him as an equal, even if he does look like me.

(Alex and Devin come back in.)

Alex: Liz! Devin has an idea that might help your name reversal problem. It's a little strange. I don't know if it would help, but I don't think it would hurt anything.

Liz: What is it?

Devin: We need to go somewhere dark and quiet. Don't take that wrong...you all can come too.

Liz: How about down in the basement?

Alex: That might work.

Max: What are you going to do? I'm not sure I like the sound of this.

Alex: Here’s Devin’s idea. If the name twisting is in fact some sort of a biological lost cluster problem, then maybe the kind of rebuild routine he uses would help Liz.

Michael: That sounds ridiculous!

Isabel: So does the idea of having a sentient conversation with an android, but we're doing it.

Alex: I see no danger. Either it will help or it won't.

Max: It's up to you, Liz. But I don't have any other ideas. There's nothing I can do to help you.

Liz: You're sure it won't make anything worse, Alex?

Alex: About 99 percent.

Liz: Well…OK…why not?

(The gang heads for the dark Crashdown basement.)

Devin: OK, Liz. I'm going to do something I did a couple of times in the lab, but that they told me never to do anywhere away from there. I'm going to assume that advice was to avoid exposing my secret…but since you guys already know it…

(Devin looks at the wall and his eyes start to glow red. He projects an image on the wall.)

Devin: See that?

Liz: Yes. It was hard to miss.

Devin: Now…Alex or somebody…I want you to say people's names to me. First backwards…then correctly. About ten of them should be enough to get a pattern. I think I can take that pattern and create a rebuild grid from that. When I get it, I'll project it on the wall. Liz! I need you to stare at it for about two minutes. Just think about nothing but the images. Can you do it, Liz?

Liz: I think so.

Devin: Good!

Alex: I'd suggest the rest of you don't look at the image.

Devin: Good idea! If you don't need a rebuild, don't subject yourself to one.

Isabel: This is a little like the balance stones.

Max: I was just thinking the same thing.

(Is anyone out there really surprised at this? You knew something like this would have to happen, didn't you? After all, this is the Balance Statements Network!)

Devin: Now, Alex! Why don't you say some names for me…first backwards, then correctly.

(Alex does as Devin asks. Soon, Devin is able to project a rebuild type image for Liz to see. She looks at it for two minutes as requested.)

Devin: There! That should do it. Sorry about the red image…I wasn't built to project Technicolor.

Isabel: That's OK Devin. If it helped, who cares what color it was?

Michael: If that helped, I'll buy you all hot fudge sundaes.

(They all stare at Liz.)

Max: Liz, honey. What's my name?

Liz: Max Evans, of course.

(Max gives Liz a hug and a kiss. He's happy! He just heard Liz say his name properly for the first time since the accident.)

Alex: And me, what's my name?

Liz: Alex Whitman.

Michael: I can’t believe it!

Isabel: I can taste that sundae now, Michael.

(Michael frowns...then turns away and half smiles to himself.)

Liz: And you're Isabel Evans…and you're Michael Guerin…and you…Devin Whitman…you did it! Oh Devin, thank you. I'm so happy I could kiss you.

(Liz kisses Devin. First on the neck, then on the cheek.)

Devin: Hey! I'm just glad it worked.

Isabel: It's wonderful. The last of the memory problems is just a memory.

(Devin seems puzzled about something.)

Devin: Liz? I'm not trying to ask for any more thanks…but would you kiss me on the neck again?

(Liz hesitates! Then she does it.)

Alex: What was that about, Devin?

Liz: I think he liked it, Alex.

Devin: That's just it. I have no feeling sensors in my neck…I shouldn't have been able to feel that kiss at all…but I did! It felt…it felt really good...

Alex: Devin! What's happening to you?

THE END

(What a nice happy ending. The memory problems are but a few more kisses away from being completely solved. Liz and Max are back together like they should be. Liz doesn't say names backwards anymore. Maria and Michael seem as happy as when they first got re-balanced. It looks like both girls have found a way to catch up on the forgotten school- work. As for Isabel and Alex, they’ve become a stronger couple from helping the others through the whole memory lapse thing. And Devin! My oh my! It looks like he's succeeded in taking a big step towards becoming whatever it is he's going to become. Alex is just loving having someone to talk computers with, even if it is one. If an ending like this doesn't mean great ratings for the B.S. Network…well, then we quit! Hmmm…I guess we're quitting for now anyway. Mrs. Zoombash can take her network and…

B.S. Network Producer: Hey John, what's with an ending like that?

John: What do you mean? That was a great ending! Everyone is happy. No one has to feel bad all summer. What's the problem?

B.S. Network Producer: It's in your contract. You HAVE to leave the audience with a cliffhanger. And it HAS to involve one of the main characters. No one cares about your stupid android.

John: Hmmm…I really have to do that, huh?

B.S. Network Producer: Yes! If you don't, you won't get paid for this series.

John: Sigh! OK, if we must!)

(Writers note: Insert the following after Alex says, "Devin! What's happening to you?")

(Phone rings. Liz answers.)

Liz: Crashdown Café!

Man: This is Acme Decorating. I’m calling to find out when we can install the new wallpaper that you ordered?

Liz: That’s the paper with stars and planets on it, right?

Man: That’s what you ordered.

Liz: Monday afternoons are kind of slow. That would be a good time.

Man: OK! We can do it then.

Liz: Great! I’ll tell my dad who owns this place. By the way, what is your name?