Well I’m back in Roswell. It’s really strange to be back too. Everything looks different somehow or maybe it’s just me that’s different. I’m not really sure anymore. I bought this journal at the airport in Florida, thinking I would need it when I got back. I was right. My old journal is still hidden, I haven’t looked at it since before I left for Florida, it brings back too many memories.

I called Maria last night to tell her I was back and asked her not to mention it to Alex or Max. She reluctantly promised that she wouldn't say anything. She's tried hard not to mention Max too much, but I can tell she thinks I should get back together with him. I guess her and Max have become close friends over the summer. When we talked while I was away, she let it slip a couple of times that she and Max had been hanging out. I didn't expect that. I'm glad Maria has had someone here to talk to, I’m just surprised it was Max. Maria has had a tough time this summer. Michael really broke her heart when he told her it was over. And I felt so bad for leaving her here alone to deal with it, but there was no way I could stay in Roswell over the summer. I couldn't take running into Max. I need a fresh start and that’s what this new journal represents. It’s a new journal for a new year. I also have a job interview later today with Congresswoman Whitaker. I can’t believe I’m going to have the opportunity to work for her, she is such an amazing woman. It’s not really a dream job for me since I want to be a scientist, but at least it gets me out of the Crashdown. I would run into Max too much if I worked at the Crashdown. Well I better get ready for my interview. Wish me luck!!

Later…Sept. 6th

I just had my interview and I got the job. It's just office work, but the Congresswoman is really great and I have a feeling I will learn a lot from her.

I saw Max before my interview. I was waiting in front of Ms. Whitaker’s office and then there he was. I was surprised, but I think I handled myself well. I think. God, it was so hard to see him. I’ve really been dreading it, which is why I told Maria not to tell him I was back. He was so, oh God I don’t know how to explain it, he was sad somehow. I know he wanted me to tell him everything would be okay, that we could be together again, but I can’t think about that now. I need to focus on me and he needs to focus on his destiny, which doesn’t include me. He said that Tess and him weren’t together. That she meant nothing to him and she never would, but she was his bride in his previous life. They were made for each other, literally. How can I be with him knowing that? He also said no ‘evil aliens’ have appeared, but what if they do appear? I just can’t be a part of Max’s life, not now, not ever.

Journal entry two…Sept. 7th

I don’t know what I was thinking, I can never completely separate myself from Max and the others. We are truly connected by a secret. Tonight, I helped Max look through Ms. Whitaker’s files. I found out she had a connection to Pierce and maybe she’s not as amazing as I originally thought. It seems she may be in Roswell to undercover the truth about aliens. I don’t want to be a part of this, but I can’t let my friends down. I can’t let Max down, not when he needs me. He was so upset tonight. I could tell he was terrified for Michael. He didn’t want Michael to go through what he went through. He just wants it all to be over. And so do I, but will it ever be over?

Nasedo was also there tonight. He apparently had a relationship with Ms. Whitaker while he was posing as Pierce. When Max told him about the bones being found and the Congresswoman, right away he started talking about killing people. I don’t trust him. I know his mission here is to protect Max and the others, but when I thought he was Max and I kissed him, I saw things that really terrified me.

Journal entry three…Sept. 8th

The most amazing thing just happened to me. Max touched me and I saw and felt how things used to be. Everything came back. I remembered what it was like to be loved by him, to love him. Do you think it’s possible that we could be together? I mean, what if there are no ‘evil aliens’ out there. I’m almost afraid to consider this. Hope can be a dangerous thing. Is it possible that we can find our way back to each other? How does just his touch do that to me? I don’t understand it and I’m somewhat frightened by it.