But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

-Patty Smyth and Don Henley (thanks to the girls from Guerin-DeLuca for their help)

----------------

March 14

I'm Liz Parker and the most amazing thing has happened. I'm not in love with Max Evans anymore.

I woke up this morning, and that little ache that comes when you're in love with someone, but can't be with them was gone. That's when I knew.

I even know why I'm not in love with him anymore. He pushed me away too many times. The most recent was after a particular physical turning point in our relationship. Where not an hour went by without the two of us making out. He pushed me away again, and to tell you the truth, I'm sick of it.

Max has been pushing me away since the day I knew about him. I'm tired of it being all about him. We can't be together because he's unbalanced around me. We can't be together because he's another lifeform. We can't be together because he wants to keep me safe. Blah, blah, blah. What he doesn't want to admit is that he's just plain scared.

But, that doesn't matter anymore. Because I'm free. I'm free for the first time.

When I told Maria this morning, she typically didn't believe me. She thinks Max and I are soul mates. The only reason she's all for me and Max right now is her "relationship" with Michael seems to be straightened out for now. Right. Until he doesn't want to get attached, and Maria's left picking up the pieces of her life. She should take a lesson from me. This alien crap is overrated.

Alex doesn't believe me either. I forgive him because Isabel trapped him. Isabel let him kiss her for the first time, and I've definitely lost him to the dark side.

But, it doesn't matter anymore. I know what I feel. I know what's going on in my head. I know it's gonna be okay. Because now I don't have to worry about him going home. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I'm free.

* * *

March 15

I'm Liz Parker, and I told Max today my decision. It was really hard to do, because despite all our problems, Max is a good guy, and doesn't deserve to be hurt.

---

*earlier that day*

"Max, we need to talk," I said. I had tracked Max to the quad, where he was sitting under a tree alone.

"What about, Liz?"

And so you spoke to me
You promised me better days
Instead,
Here we are
Taking
Just a little
Follow me down slowly
And here
Into your shadow light

"Us. Or, the lack thereof."

"Liz, I thought I told you already-"

"You did tell me. And, now I need to tell you something."

He sighed. "What is it?"

"I don't love you anymore." My words were blunt, but I didn't regret them. I hated he looked hurt, though.

"What? Wait, when did this happen? Why?" he struggled to form coherent sentences.

And you just hate
you just hate.

Your silence To your bed
See you here?

"You pushed me away too many times. I got tired of it. I'm sick of waiting for you to grow up and accept that you can't make everyone's choices. You can't protect everyone."

"Liz, I-"

"No, Max. I'm through waiting. I'm moving on."

Your sigh
Your silence

Deny what makes this holy...
Deceit.
Charade.
This from your mind.

And you just hate
yeah you just hate
The breath that makes you need.
You battle
your mind
you bleed
And flesh burns your tongue
Tearing at the naked walls
You keep tearing at my naked walls
with your..

"Liz, you can't do this to me." His voice was full anguish. I arched an eyebrow.

"Can't I? I'm pushing you away, Max. Just like you've been doing to me since the day I knew the truth." My words were cold, and unfeeling. I didn't mean for them to come out that way, but he had the nerve to try and make me feel guilty! Me! I had done nothing wrong except stop loving him.

Your silence To your room
To your bed
see you here?

Your sigh
Your silence

I ran into Alex, who was mooning over Isabel as usual. He wanted to talk to me about the Max thing. You know what I said?

"I'm sick of all this alien crap. Now take me to lunch."

* * *

March 17

I'm Liz Parker, and I have proof I'm free. Max came to the Crashdown tonight, and admitted he'd been wrong. The old Liz would have been glad to see him, but the new Liz was tired of his bullsh*t.

-----

*earlier that night*

"Liz. I need to talk you," Max called to me.

"We're closed."

"Liz, you were right. I've been pushing you away, trying to do everything myself, and I shouldn't have."

"I'm glad you realize that," I replied. I moved to open the door for him to leave.

"I love you Liz. I want to be with you," he said, softly. I almost felt sorry for him. But then I realized he thought I'd been bluffing. He thought I still loved him.

"I don't love you anymore, Max. And I don't want to be with you," I replied. "We have nothing more to discuss."

"Liz, I know you still love me. I know it."

"How are you so sure?"

"You can't just fall out of love with someone."

"It's not like that hasn't happened before."

"You won't forget me. You're going to be sorry." Now he was trying to threaten me,

"That's not your choice to make. I'll forget you if I want." Two can play that game.

* * *

April 1

I'm Liz Parker, and I just went on my first real date since Kyle and I broke up. We went to the new dance club, the UFOnics, and had a lot of fun.

The gang was there. Isabel and Alex. Michael and Maria. Max and a girl that Maria had said Max had befriended. A new girl. Her name was Teri or something.

My date, Dave, was a great dancer. He got into all the dances that most guys hated. Like those Latin ones. Like the ones you'd dance when Ricky Martin, or Enrique Iglesias was on.

We were really having fun. Doing all those sexy moves I never could have dreamed of doing when Max and I ....

I don't think of those times anymore though.

Because I'm free. I'm glad too. Because loving Max was too much for a human to handle. Way too much.

I just remembered the girl's name. It's Tess.

I hope Max finds happiness. Because whether or not I love him, he's still a great guy. And he deserves a great girl. But, it's not going to be me.