Hey almost brother I never had. I can't tell you what a relief it is to have you part of my circle again. I HATED lying and deceiving you. It is amazing some of the things I've been going through lately, but I don't regret a minute of it. I almost cried, then laughed when you said you needed normal. It found it so ironic that, you came to me telling me that. Max is telling me he needs normal too. All I can offer is the same thing I told him. In our world now, the only normal is the one you define for yourself. You have to decide what things are normal for you and live them. More than that, be ready to change them quickly if you have to. I know the secret of our friends can be a burden...but just think about what it's like for them? I'll tell you what I see. Maybe this will help. Max, Isabel, and Michael have had ten years where they basically built a wall around themselves to avoid any meaningful relationships. Old habits die hard. They are not just tolerating you. They are giving you about all they know how to give right now. The three of them were/are kinda like the three of us. Remember how we were in our own little world on a lot of things. That's them too. Having others in their world is new to them. They'll get use to you, but it's gonna take some time. Just show 'em what you told me you already feel...they'll let you into a lower orbit. They did me. You're right! They're good people. No, I don't think they'd ever be violent...but I do think they'd run if they had to. I want to help make sure that's not necessary.

And to answer your other question...I can never know too much about Max.

Here's the deal my friend. I'm afraid I dragged you to a point in your life where you've got to make a decision. I've made mine. You and Maria will have to make yours.

I want...I need to be with Max. No one has ever made me feel the way he does. He's scared right now...and wants me to take a step back...but I just have this feeling that somehow things can work out. He told me I could have a normal life if I wanted one. All I needed to do was walk away from him. He said he wasn't worth it and it made me cry. Because of the secret, he feels like things between us could never be normal. He's right they can't be completely normal, but they can be normal enough. The thing is, I can see a deal where I'm with Max, Maria's with Michael, or you're with Isabel, but that's gonna be it. And it's gonna take awhile. We'll make mistakes...but they will eventually let us into their lives more fully. The thing you need to understand is that will be the extent of it. If we think we can be tight with anyone else...that ain't gonna happen. Anyone who tried would find themselves in the same position you were not to long ago and we'd have to be as much a part of that aloofness as anyone. If you don't want this to be your social structure, now's the time. Back off! Choose a normal life...you can stay on the outer planet rings and be tight with others...but you're never gonna be more than on the outside looking in at us. You know enough that we'll keep tabs on you...but that'll be OK. I tell Maria the same thing. All I know is, I'm in. Six is enough for me. Let me know soon if you're in or out.

If you're in, man have I got plans. I think the same tightness the two groups of three have had can become a real exciting group of six. It'll be "we six against the world."

But, if you have doubts...you better think it through. I could tell you what kind of misery doubts can cause...but you don't want to hear it. Gotta Run! Let me know soonest...I can't wait.

Liz

PS
Maria wants to know if your encryption routine has a chat mode...can't imagine why.

Liz hits the send key and let's out a sigh..."He'll make the right choice...I know it," she says to herself

As she's just about to leave the room, she hears "you've got mail".

She calls it up...it's not an Alex' encrypted message so she thinks it's nothing...but as she reads it...she's suddenly very scared...

To: Liz@stepback.com>
Fm: someone@somwhere.a51
DO YOU KNOW ANY ALIENS? I DO!