It took me about four days to realize why Isabel wanted to be my girlfriend. She was having dreams about Michael. It hurt me alot. I felt used. But for Isabel...she could use me anytime she wanted.

We never really broke up. It sort of faded away. For her. For me...I was still in love with her, and she never knew it. She never even knew that I was ever in love with her.

When Michael was taken into the government, things changed for Isabel. I could always tell. I don't know what it was, but I always knew what she was feeling. When Michael came back, she knew that she was in love with him, and he felt the same about her.

So I let her go.

The the Skins took a full force war on Earth. The hardest part of that was being alone. Liz began drinking around this time, not helping matters in the least. And Maria...Maria began to lose it. I don't know what it was, but she wasn't the same person then.

During that war David, Paul, Serena, and Kendra came. They helped so much. David was the strangest guy I've ever met. He always kept this stone with him, and I never knew what it was for, until later.

Then Isabel had a baby. She had Michael's baby. I can't say that I didn't feel jealous, I did. Thommy ended up being a very different addition to everything. They couldn't take him into battle, of course, so he stayed with Liz, Maria, and I. Or more like it he stayed with me.

Not too long after that Isabel and Michael married. Tess and Max married. I was in the wedding, as whatever they call the guys. Liz dealt with the wedding in her own way...drinking. Maria didn't even come to the wedding. And I, took a nice place in the bathroom and cried for about an hour. I came out and I was fine. No one knew.

I tried to help Liz with her drinking. No matter what I told her she wouldn't listen to me, so she didn't stop and there was nothing I could do. I think now she wishes she had, but that's not the point. I wasn't a very effective friend that day.

Then devastation set in. Jim Valenti died in battle. We all knew that he shouldn't have been there, but he couldn't just sit around and let this war happen. Soon after that Kyle left. I heard somewhere that he went to Canada, but that wouldn't get him away from the war. It was everywhere.

Then Tess said she was pregnant. That didn't take a good effect on Liz. No one else really noticed that she was drinking more then, except me. I was the only one around her enough.

When Tess had her baby, Elizabeth, who adopted the name 'Lizzy', I don't think that was good for Liz. Especially since she and I took care of Thommy and Lizzy together. Me mostly.

I don't resent Liz, or Maria, or anyone for basically losing three years of my life to taking care of children, but I do resent that they weren't my own children.

The strangest time in my life was when Liz came to me, extremely drunk and told me that she loved me and that she wanted to show me. I could have done more to stop what happened, but I was lonely. That was all there was to it. Liz and I slept together that night, and I don't regret it. Even if it was very, very strange.

Then when the eight came home, they spent the night in the dumpy Crashdown apartment, that we couldn't not call The Crashdown.

That night David showed me exactly what that stone did. It was sensory device. Sort of like what you see in spy movies, except this was alien technology. It didn't just...sensorize, it could tell how a person was, how they felt, what the felt. He used it on me. He knew everything. Then he let me use it on Isabel.

She was happy. She hated the war. She hated being away from Thommy so much. But she was happy with Michael. It made me happy that she was happy, but it made me so sad, that I was so alone.

Isabel became pregnant again, and stayed with us for about three months while the others went back to war. I got to spend time with my sweet Isabel. I asked her if she was really happy, even when I knew. I wanted to hear it from her. And she told me:

"Alex, I regret not having kissed you more. For not having been a better friend, when I had the chance. And the thing I regret more than anything is not taking you seriously. I loved you, Alex, really I did, but I always knew that it couldn't be. Now, I love Michael. And I love Thommy, and this baby, and I often think about what it would have been like if Thommy was our child instead of Michael and I's. And I am happy. And I know that you will be happy as well."

I cried that night. I cried again when Isabel's baby died before it was born. She went back into battle not long after that.

When the eighth year came, I was tired. I really wanted to die that year. But somewhere a ray of light shone on us, and the war ended. It was like a weight was taken from my shoulders. I don't know if I felt guilty for not have been in battle with them, even if I knew that i would have died. All eight of them came back alive, maybe not well, but alive.

Soon after that, Max, Tess, and Lizzy moved to Texas, where they had another baby, Alexander Parker Evans. It was an honor that I take to the grave.

Maria took every step the hard way. She never did totally understand what I then understood from talking with Isabel that night. She didn't understand that, maybe Michael did love her, but he knew that they could never be. Maria left us and went to a mental institution where she still resides. I think they'll be letting her leave in the next two years.

Liz stopped drinking finally. It took her long enough. But she stopped. I know that she still has a few problems with it. After the war, Kyle Valenti returned and swept Liz off her feet and they were married.

Michael and Isabel stayed in Roswell with Thommy. When they found out that Isabel was barren, they adopted a boy, maybe four, named Caleb. I was always resident baby-sitter.

About a year after the war, Max, Michael, Isabel, Tess, Serena, Kendra, Paul, David, Lizzy, Little Alex, and Thommy went home. Liz took legal adoption of Caleb, along with the two children of her own.

I never got to say one last good-bye before they left.

Now I cry every night.