It was not long after this that I became, let's say friends with an alien (Not the alien that healed Liz. They were all over each other. It was really sick.). And we engaged in some...I'm sitting here with a smile on my face. Let's leave it at that.

Okay, so things are going really well. Well as well as things can get when your dating Michael Gurrien. I think we broke up and got back together like six times. But there's something about him that makes you want to keep going back for more. I always went back for more.

And all the walls came down. They came to take me away. All the cars in the world couldn't keep me down. I couldn't like the walls. Everything fell down. And Michael was mine. And He was gone. Michael the wall fell down. Stone wall. Fell down. Deep breaths, DeLuca.

So then finally when we get it figured out that we can all date and be happy little perfect couples-Michael being far from perfect, of course- this little bitch Tess comes along and gives us all a hard time about it. I was like, 'tell it to someone who cares', but obviously Max, Michael, and Isabel took it pretty seriously.

So things get all cleared up and Max and Tess begin their little dysfunctional relationship. Michael and I didn't date, but he didn't date Isabel. But then the it happens. The government finds out about Michael, they take him, and they keep him for three frikin months. And in this three months, he and Isabel I don't know, connect or something and they fall desperately in love, goo goo eyes and all that crap.

So Liz and I discover alcohol together. She didn't like seeing Max with Tess and I didn't like seeing Michael with Isabel. I never liked Isabel anyway.

The god-forsaken woman. That fucking woman needed someone else to throw her angst on. Bitch.

Okay, so the Skins come to Earth and begin killing people off. Then the others come and they fight the Skins too. Whoop-dee-doo. That was really, the least of my worries.

Then Michael and Isabel had a child. The child that was supposed to be mine. The child that I wanted to have. Michael and I. Not him and Isabel. I can't even say her name. That name. It's like saying Satan, except I'd rather be around him. Michael and I were destiny. Real destiny.

Then they got married. My mom, my step-brother, my half sister, and my step-father all went to the wedding. I stayed home and compensated suicide. To this day there are scars on my wrists from that day.

Not long after they were married, my step-father, Jim Valenti, was killed in the war. The damn war. That damn war. I never knew any sort of father figure in my life, until he came along. He married my mom and I barely even saw him. Him dying was like my father leaving me all over again. I couldn't handle my father leaving me. I was alone. I was so alone. And I cried. I couldn't stop. The crying didn't stop. Flood.

I continued to drink. Liz was my drinking buddy for the most part, but even she would go home before I. She was using her alcohol for a crutch on lost love, and her sworn enemy, who was on our side, taking that love. I was recovering from a broken heart. But the woman who stole my love, was not my enemy. She was a person I considered a friend. I defined myself by Michael Guerin, and I liked that. He made me feel safe, no matter what the jerk he was being.

My life went on, or so I thought. My life was about two things. Abandonment. I was abandoned twice. So, I revolved my life around something that wouldn't leave me. Vodka. Or Tequila. Or anything I could get my hands on. And my hands were always full. Full of nothing. Full of everything. Full of rage.

At this point in my life, my life was leaving. My fathers were gone. Kyle was gone. Michael was gone. Liz was gone. Liz wasn't gone. I left Liz. And I don't think she cared. My mother was there, I guess, but she was so busy with the baby, It was if she cared more about her perfect child than she did her alcoholic 'angel'.

Everything is a blur now. They say the war is over. But I don't believe them. Paranoia is the key. You stay paranoid enough, you stay safe. No one can know about Max, Tess, Michael, and her. If they find out, the government will get them and after what happened to Max. And what happened to Michael, we don't want that.

I saw my mom. She brings the baby. The baby is getting big. She's almost seven. I'm seventeen at heart. I'm seventeen in mind. The baby will one day be older than me. And I will always be older than me.

I don't see Liz. I don't Alex. I don't see Kyle. My own damn step-brother doesn't come see me. I don't see Max. I don't see Tess. I don't see Michael. If I wanted to see any of them. I'd want to see Michael. Michael and the child who was supposed to be mine. My baby. And I will be happy to see him one of these days. Even if it's behind glass, I will see my baby. And I will see my destiny. The real destiny.