When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart

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I know how it feels to be completely alone. Maybe that's what first drew me to her. Or maybe it was her awesome body, that fiery gleam in her eyes. Yeah, it was probably the physical stuff. I was a sixteen year old boy when I met her, remember.

I always felt like I understood her, though. From the first moment I looked into her eyes, and saw that mix of pain and determination. I knew exactly how she felt. And, I knew that she was ready to fly off the handle any second. Maybe I should have turned around and ran as fast as I could to get away from her, but I didn't. I stayed, and I flirted, and I tried to convince her that I was the one to calm her, to complete her.

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I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

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It took me a while to understand exactly what was going on with her. I mean, she kept trailing after Michael, Isabel, and Max especially, no matter how many times they shut her down. I didn't understand why such a beautiful girl would put up with so much rejection.

After I knew her, I realized that this beautiful girl was also extremely fragile. Sure, she looks like the strongest thing in the world, if you see her with the fire crackling in her eyes, looking like she can do anything. But that's not the real her. She plays roles constantly. She's scared to death that the people she loves best in the world will reject her. And so far, they've more than lived up to that expectation.

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When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call

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The first time I realized what was really going on with her, I found her wandering around the streets of Roswell. I was wandering myself; my dad was out again on some job related alien obsession. Driving around in the Mustang, Bessie, I almost had a heart attack when she suddenly appeared in front of me.

She always swore that it was an accident, that she didn't see the car. But I know different, though I don't force the issue. I saw her, saw her move out into my path, saw the bleakness in her eyes, the conscious decision that she just could not deal with anymore of this constant pain.

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If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

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That night, I decided that I would be the one to save her. I wouldn't let her hurt herself.

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If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart

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I would fix her.

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If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

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I would befriend her; I would talk to her, and convince her that her life was worth living. Pretty arrogant sucker, wasn't I? I really thought I could do it.

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When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find

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It took me a long time to learn the truth, to figure out exactly what had happened between the four of them. Afterwards, they never wanted to talk about it. Hell, they barely trusted me in the first place, never would have if they had a choice. Is it any surprise they weren't lining up to discuss their deepest secrets with me?

It was actually Liz who finally told me. I don't think she got the response she was expecting. I was angry, immensely angry. I wanted to rage, to smash things, to avenge her. They never understood her, never even put the effort into trying. And either none of them are as smart as they think they are, or she was a better actress than I thought, because they never once saw past the roles she played to her inner self. They only saw the girl who was determined to please the only parent she'd ever known. The girl who saw that the way she had always pictured her future, which was to be her salvation from a worse loneliness than they will ever know, would never possibly turn out how she had been told it would. All of her hopes were on them, she was counting on them to save her. And they failed her, each and everyone of them, without even a second thought.

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You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head

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They thought she had control over what her mind produced. The truth is, she did, but only sometimes. They didn't see her when the visions consumed her, wracked by migraines as their people or Nasedo's programming or some other thing that I will never comprehend because not even she knew what caused it. All I know is the emotions those visions brought.

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When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

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They didn't see the aftermath of those visions, either. They didn't see her lying in bed, not even able to force herself to function. They didn't see her when she was truly herself, didn't see the tears in her eyes as her mind processed the message of those visions. That she was meant to be with Max; that she had made a mistake somewhere along the way and her intended destiny would never be fulfilled; that she was a failure; that her only salvation lay in possibly, through some miracle, making Max love her.

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Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall

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After Nasedo left, I spent a long time with her. Like I said, the rest of them didn't trust me all that much. She had no reason not to trust me. After all, I already knew the big secret.

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Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart

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Ironic, isn't it, that every girl I've ever loved has belonged to Max Evans, by either choice or destiny? That's right, you heard me. I loved her. I still love her. I still think, what if, if only... There must have been something I could have done, something that would have made everything different.

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If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

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My only solace is that I did bring her some comfort. I know there were times, riding around town together, sitting in her big, empty house, lying next to her watching her sleep, when she forgot all about them. But then the visions would come again, the reprimands, the damnations, and that look of desperation would sneak back into her eyes and once again she would put on a costume, pick another role to play.

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Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

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The worst thing was that I actually had her believing me. When she looked at me, there was an expression… Somewhere along the way she started to believe me when I said that I could save her.

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When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you

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They were there, at the funeral. I was so furious to see them. They never cared one bit about her when she was alive. Hell, I know that each of them wished her dead countless times. They never stopped to think that she was alive, that she had needs and wants and desires. The six of them are utterly selfish. It was all I could do to restrain myself, to not punch Max in his smug face, as he stood there next to Liz and threw a white rose into the ground.

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Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

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I tried. God, I tried to save her. Tried as hard as I could.

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Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall

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But, in the end, I failed. I wasn't strong enough to save her, wasn't strong enough to overcome the demons which haunted her.

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Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

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I look up into the sky, and I curse her people. What made them think they could dictate her life? They ruined her with their expectations, killed her as surely as if they'd drawn the blade across her wrists themselves.

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If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart

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I'm the one who found her. Lying in our bed, the white sheets smeared with her blood. I caressed her face, twirled her blond curls in my fingers as I read the note she had left. And I sat there for hours before I called anyone. My Tess…. My gorgeous, tragic Tess. I wasn't enough for her. I couldn't do enough to save her, to rewrite everything in her life that continuously told her how worthless she was. My love just wasn't enough to overcome the hatred and disappointment of an entire species.

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If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

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I'm more alone now than I ever was before. I can't go back to how my life was before, can't go back to the superficiality that was my existence. But I can't be a part of their group either. They still don't know quite what to do with me, and I can't look at them without this wave of pure hatred rising inside of me.