Michael: (sarcastically) you don't say..

cut to confessional...Kyle

Kyle: you know it's just not fair. They don't understand me, I mean all I’m asking for is one night of a hot orgy, (sighs) yet they don't understand and think I’m a freak. God, their all more freaks then I am, ugh I’m going to find Woody (gets up from chair, stomps out of the room)

Meanwhile in the kitchen...

(Liz is searching for something in the kitchen, practically ripping the place apart)

Liz: ughhhhhhhh where is it?..

Isabel Enters...

Isabel: what the hell? You ruined the whole god damn kitchen (looking around in horror)

Liz: I’m looking for something..

Isabel: What are you looking for?

Liz: A rolling pin, its a new thing to use on page 73.

Isabel: oh god your sick..

Liz: I’m not sick, oh and by the way I found out my vibrator was missing last night

Isabel: wha- what? no I didn't take it

Liz: don't give me that crap, Tess isn't even here anymore to play mind games I know you took it

Isabel: I didn't!

Liz: keep telling yourself that Isabel, we all know your sexually deprived it's ok .. don't worry the vibrator is your friend

Isabel: I didn't take it!

Max enters..

Max: did you find the rolling pin yet?

Liz: no not yet

Isabel: (throws hands up and leaves disgusted)

Living space...

(Michael sitting on the couch eating chips watching Barney with Alex)

Maria enters..

Maria: oh my god, what happened to your hair?

Michael: (depressed voice) I ran out of hair spray, I have no reason to live

Maria: well get your lazy ass of the couch and go buy some more

Michael: I can't Barney is on

Alex: SHHHHHHHHH this is the good part

Maria: ick, your both mental, I can't deal with this anymore

cut to confessional...Maria..

Maria: you know, Michael and I have just gotten worse, first it was the hair, now it's Barney, oh god I-I can't take it, what am I going to do. And there is only one vibrator in this house. I can't live anymore! (bursts out crying, and runs out slamming door)

Liz's bedroom...Max and Liz..

(Max in bed still waiting for Liz to find the rolling pin)

(Liz enters wearing a underwear version of the crashdown Uniform, holding the rolling pin behind her back)

Liz: (grinning) I found it..

Max: oh you did..come on then..

Liz: did you eat your 'Viagra Milky Way' Bar?

Max: (nods)

Liz: (jumps on bed) Abduct me Max, Hard...

Cut to Confessional..Isabel..

Isabel: You know, Liz is wrong ok? I mean I didn't steal the vibrator.. (buzzing noise starts to fill the air) Oh Sh*t (buzzing stops) (looks back up at camera) Why would I do something like that? I have other ways of-- (buzzing starts again) Damn it!..I have to go..

Living Space...

(Michael and Alex are still watching Barneyy and are now singing along)

Michael and Alex: I love you, you love me, were a happy family with a kiss and hug, and little peck too, wont you say you love me too

Kyle Enters..

Kyle: I told you guys, Max is the only one for me, (looks all dreamy) He's my soulmate..

Michael and Alex: (ignoring Kyle, keep singing)

Maria Enters..

Maria: God Damn it! I can't take it anymore Michael, you've gone crazy (starts throwing things)

Max and Liz Enter... (smiles on their faces)

Liz: HEY! Maria get a grip!

Maria: Liz I can't, I can't do this anymore,

Michael and Alex: (still singing loudly now)

Max: Keep it down!

Isabel Enters...

(holding the vibrator)

Liz: I knew it! You took it!

Maria: (looks up) GIVE IT TO ME! (grabs it from Isabel)

Isabel: give it back! NOW! (grabs it from Maria)

(Isabel and Maria start to go at it fighting back and forth, now pulling each others hair, all the while Michael and Alex are still singing)

Kyle: (walks up to Max) come on lets get out of this mad house, you and me somewhere quiet...

Max: Kyle I told you, I’m not gay

Liz: (holding up rolling pin) Back off, Jockstrap boy, and get away from my man

Kyle: hey stop brainwashing Max! let him live life, like the gay man he doesn't realize he is.

Max: I’M NOT GAY!

Liz: I warned you Kyle! (starts to beat him with the rolling pin)

Kyle: (On the ground) ow, ow, ow, quit-- it

Max: (holding Liz back)

(Maria now has the vibrator and is running through the house, Isabel close behind)

Maria: I deserve pleasure too! now you had your turn Isabel, go try snapping tweedle dum, and tweedle dee aka Alex and Michael out of Barney mode..

Isabel: NO! I want it back (grabs it from Maria running to her room, and locking the door)

Maria: DAMN YOU! (pounding on the door)

Living Space...

(Kyle now almost dead on the floor)

Liz: (sits in a chair out of breath from beating Kyle)

Max: LIZ! you could have killed him!

Liz: nah..(fanning herself with her hands)

Max: (leans down beside Kyle-Heals him)

Kyle: (opens eyes) I knew you would change your mind! (leaning upward)

Max: ew! you perv! (slaps Kyle across the face)

Michael: (lying on the couch) Staring at the ceiling mindlessly)

Alex: (Playing with his lambchops doll with himself in babytalk) Yes, Lambchoppy, yes I know (nods) I know I love you too, yes (starts to makeout with the puppet)

Maria Enters moping..