Max: Alex, what's wrong?

Alex: it's amazing, you think you know people and they go around and do something like this.

Max: Who? What?

Alex: Paceygal just resigned her Fehrian status. I can't believe it.

Max: Oh? Is that that Canadian again?

Alex: yeah. She wouldn't stop talking about him and now she's become some stalker and she doesn't want to be a fehrian anymore.

Max: Wait, what? A stalker?

Alex: Oh! It's no sense talking to you, you wouldn't understand.

Max looks perplexed and leaves the room.

Alex (talks as he types): Caroline, Jason jumping out of a cake? No, I can honestly say I never imagined that before.

Max runs back in and pops his head in the door.

Max: What? Jason jumping out of a cake? Liz!

He runs into his room and Liz and Max go at it again.

Cut to scene.... Isabel walks into Michael's room, he's putting ice on his eye.

Isabel: (awkwardly) Hi.

Michael: Hi.

Isabel: So, how's your eye?

Michael: Fine. How about you?

Isabel: I think I broke a nail, but I'll deal.

Long pause of silence, Isabel hesitates to leave, but sort of walks out the door, and then Michael calls her.

Michael: Wait, Isabel.

Isabel: Yeah Michael.

Michael: You still mean what you said about Britney?

Isabel: Every word.

Michael jumps Isabel again, but she quickly pins him down to the ground.

Isabel: Face it Michael, I can whoop your ass and back again, with my hand tied behind my back and blindfolded.

Michael: Really? You wanna try it?

Cut to confessional...Isabel...

Isabel: When I make a promise, I don't lie. I told Michael the truth. He was just trying to be so macho he couldn't face it. NO, I do not feel sorry for him.

Cut back to scene...Michael and Isabel...

You see Isabel's hand tied behind her back and she's blindfolded. Max is holding a stopwatch. They begin to wrestle.

Max: 10.2 Seconds.

Isabel gets off of Michael and dusts herself off.

Isabel: See I told you I could kick your ass with my hand behind my back and blindfolded.

Michael is still catching his breath and just sitting there.

Michael: Show off.

Cut to confessional...Liz...

Liz is holding her vibrator and talking to it.

Liz: Mini Max, I must say that we've been through a lot together. But it seems I soon will no longer need your company. I will make sure you have a good home where your owner will love you and take care of you. I promise that they will never mistreat you. (She begins to tear up and just stares at the vibrator)

Cut to scene...Valenti and Kyle sitting down watching a movie.

Kyle: So now that we no longer have Beaches, we have to sit down and watch Austin Powers 2?

Valenti: Yup.

Kyle: Oh god. No comparison.

Valenti: (begins to look at Fat bastard on the screen a little funny, sorta intrigued by it). I'm dead sexy! Get in my belly!

Kyle: Uh...dad?

Valenti: I want my baby back baby back baby back ribs. I want my baby back baby back baby back ribs. Chili’s baby back ribs.

Kyle: Dad?!

Valenti: Baby...the other white meat.

(Valenti has now been walking around the room as if he was fat bastard.)

Cut to confessional...Kyle...

Kyle: So now my dad has been possessed by the character of fat bastard. I don't know him anymore. The other day, at the mall, we saw this person that was (uses fingers as quote marks) "vertically challenged" and my dad started chasing it trying to bite it. Mall Security had to use my dad's handcuffs to restrict him. I miss our bonding. I miss my dad. I miss beaches. (Kyle begins to cry, but is singing wind beneath my wings)

Cut back to Alex at his computer...

Alex is still astonished. He talks to himself: I still can't believe she did it. I can't believe she did it.

Alex clicks on the WB site. Kyle walks in.

Kyle: OmG! That girl got her chest signed by some actor?

Alex: yeah, isn't that a riot?

Kyle: Oh, I would love to do that!

Max and Liz walk in.

Max: Um, Alex... didn't you say you had that Jason Behr action figure. You know the one that talked?

Alex: Yeah.

Liz: Can we use it?

Alex: As long as you don't put it where you put it last time. That stuff would not wash off. It's disgusting, you should just buy your own.

Max: you know it’s a collector’s item.

Alex: (gives Max the doll) Please, keep it. I don't even want it back after you two use it.

Cut scene to Isabel's room...

Alex walks in.

Alex: Isabel, I want to talk to you.

Isabel: Not right now, I have to find the boxing gloves. Michael is too damn competitive; he doesn't see I'm just better than him at everything.

Alex: Isabel, when was the last time you and I spent time together? When was the last time we role-played?

Isabel: Well, you've been on that computer so damn much, there's really been no time.

Alex: Don't you think you're taking this a little too far?

Isabel: Too far? No. Where's the whip? Don't tell me Liz took it again...ugh!

Alex: Isabel, I want to make love to you.

Isabel: Oh, go make love to your computer.

Alex gets this interesting look on his face and leaves the room.

Cut to confessional...Alex...

Alex: No, I am not embarrassed by it at all. Isabel wasn't giving me what I needed so I turned elsewhere. What? I am a teenage boy you know, I have urges!

Cut to scene, Alex in his room. (Imagine the American Pie scene with the pie; only substitute the Pie for the computer and Jason Biggs for Alex.)

Alex: Now that's a good hard drive. Oh... (That last line was provided by the lovely *maria* who always has great insight into this thread)

Maria walks in.

Maria: OMG Alex, what are you doing?!

Alex: Uh, uh, nothing.

Max and Liz run in.

Max: Alex, we need more batteries, the ones in this doll ran out. Oh, man.

Liz: Wow...computer...can honestly say I never tried that before. Never read about it either. It gives a whole new meaning to computer geek.

Alex: Can everyone please leave! I need this quality time with computer!

Maria: hey, do whatever the hell you want.

Cut to confessional...Maria...