He had watched Kyle all night. He could tell that Kyle felt awkward and he was glad. These were his friends, this was his life. Kyle had no right to interfere.

But Kyle also had the most beautiful girl in the world sitting next to him. Max couldn't believe that those feelings were still brimming under the surface. He had put it behind him. Not completely, he didn't think that he would ever get over her completely. But enough to get through each day without remembering that for a few short years, his life had been perfect. But now, after all of this, how could he just go back to Texas and pretend that she was somewhere missing him?

When Michael had told him about Kyle, it really hadn't registered. He thought of Liz as an abstract concept. It helped. Liz was this thing that was out there. Like a star. And he couldn't touch it or really even see it, but it was enough to know that it existed. So when this Liz got together with this Kyle it didn't matter. Because it wasn't real. But now, watching the two of them, he couldn't pretend anymore. She looked at Kyle differently now. He looked at her differently. They were in love and there was no denying it.

"Max."

He turned to stare into his sister's eyes. She sunk down into the chair next to him and sighed. She was handling this so well. He would have thought that Isabel would cry and carry on. She depended on them so much. She refused to get to know so many people. The people in this room were her only true friends. So how could she be taking this so well?

Isabel looked into her brother's eyes. He was not the same person he used to be. He seemed harsh now. He had all of these edges. When she talked to him, she could see boundaries surrounding him. This is okay, that is not. I will feel this, I will ignore that. She tried to reach him with her eyes, but his remained cold and distant.

What will he do without Michael? she wondered. Michael had really been the only one to understand the problems between Max and Liz. He had been the only one who could reach him for so long. She wished that she could understand what went wrong. And why that meant that nothing could ever be okay again. She wanted her brother back. Michael was gone, but Max was inches from her. And yet it was Max that was farther away. She could feel Michael in her skin. She was not afraid for Michael. He was where he was supposed to be and she knew that. But Max was not in the right place. He had let fate lead him down some twisted path and he refused to come back.

He could tell that she was worried about him. Fear and worry were radiating off her skin. They were imbedded in her eyes. But he didn't know what to say. He had tried to explain all of this before, but he didn't have the words. There were no words for pain like this. Finally he reached out to his sister and drew her close to him. I'm sorry, Isabel.

She could feel him shudder against her and she felt tears well up in her eyes. Why did he insist on putting a wall between them? They were all they had left.

*****

"Call me sometime," Alex said, hugging Liz tightly. She nodded into his shoulder.

Alex moved onto Kyle as his wife hugged Liz. He shook Kyle's hand and nodded. He couldn't make himself say anything. Don't hurt her. Make her happy. Michael Guerin isn't the only guy who can take you.

He came to Maria. "I love you," he whispered into her hair. She clung to him. She couldn't let go. If he left, if they all left, then it truly would be over. She would be here all alone. But eventually Alex pulled back. He smoothed her hair back. "I love you too," she whispered, her lip trembling. He nodded and kissed her forehead. Then he pulled away.

She watched as he walked over to Max. She watched as he whispered something and handed Max an envelope. More secrets. More lies. That was all anyone in this room knew.

Alex turned to Isabel and Paul. He shook Paul's hand. He wondered if he knew that he was one of the luckiest men on earth.

He reached out to Isabel and enveloped her in his arms. "Good-bye."

"Good-bye, Alex. I love you," she said, barely above a whisper. And then he wasn't in the Crashdown anymore. He was twenty-one again, standing in her apartment.

>>> "I just came to tell you that I am going to take that job in Seattle."

She nodded. She didn't know what to say. He refused to understand and she couldn't explain.

"I want you to have this," he said, handing her a small box that she knew contained a diamond ring.

"No, Alex, I can't."

"It doesn't mean anything," he said. And it didn't. It was just a stupid rock that had no meaning. It was supposed to mean everything. "I just want you to keep it."

She hesitated. She didn't want it. It would be a constant reminder of what she had done, of the pain she had caused. But she didn't want anyone else to have it either. Maybe one day she would like to see it, to know that it had been real. That someone had loved her that much. Finally, she reached her hand out and took the box.

"Thank you."

He turned to leave. Leave, just leave, he told himself. Don't say anything. But he couldn't. "I want you to know that I love you," he said, turning to face her again. "I will always love you. And I know that you may not think much of me now, but maybe someday you will."

"Alex," she said, trying to form the right words so that he would understand. Why couldn't he wrap his mind around this? "I think the world of you. I would love to be able to say yes. If I were going to do this with anyone, it would be you. But I can't. I never meant to lead you on, to make you think-"

He shook his head. "You didn't. I knew the rules going into this. This is my fault. I wanted to believe so badly that you had fallen for me too that I didn't see-"

"I do love you."

He stared at her. He wanted to believe her. But he knew that the love that she felt for him was different from the love that he felt for her. After all, that was the point, wasn't it? She was different. And as much as she claimed that this was because of her own views on marriage, that this was because of the pain of watching her parents separate, he knew that it wasn't. This was because of that damn home that she kept searching for. She could fool the rest of them, but she couldn't fool him. She might have moved to New York and started this new life in which they never talked about her home, and she might not even search for the answers anymore, but it was there in the back of her mind all the time. There might be a place where she fit in, there might be a place where life would be easy and not full of lies. She couldn't be tied to this planet.

She reached out and hugged him. "Good-bye," he whispered.

"Good-bye, Alex," she managed, as tears streamed down her face. "I love you."<<<

He pulled away, startled from the memory. And then he saw a flash of something. He saw her collapse on the couch as he left, he saw her put the ring in her top dresser drawer. He felt her loneliness and her sadness. He felt her love. It was an extension of his own. In that moment, he wasn't sure where he ended and she began.