Liz's POV

"Maria can you please turn that off!" I waited a few minutes, but I still heard the throaty voice of Tori Amos. "Ria?" I came out of the bathroom in the towel I used when the future came back to haut me. Who knew it would be one of the best mistakes of my life. Helped me get my head straight. When I saw his face, I felt my heart die. When I had my forgotten wedding dance with future Max and I knew he didn't love me anymore, I felt a cold thump. Like my heart was trying to escape my chest. To rid it self from the pain that never seems to cease. Yet when I ran to him it felt like I was born again.

I always run to him when things feel like I'm suffocating. I try Maria but somehow the conversation always turns back to her and Michael. That's not what I needed then. He listens to me. Lets me cry on him. Becomes my stonewall. To bad I started to have feelings for him. It started when I left Max standing outside the cave. I didn't even realize where I was until I knocked on his window. He was always a great listener. We talked all night, just like old times. I woke up in his arms. I could hear the cd we were listening to last night. His warm breath seemed to fan my face, as his lean arms were around my waist. As I brush my hair I can still imagine his fingers running through them. A strange thought crossed my mind. What would his lips taste like? It scared me. Here I was a mess, crying over Max like always, professing my love for him. Screaming how tragic everything is, and now I'm thinking....................................impure thoughts about my best friend. That's not how things are supposed to go, right? I was so scared and for the second time that week I ran. I needed to clear my head. How could I be in love with Max Evans, and want my best friend? When did things become so difficult? Over the summer I convinced myself that the only reason I was feeling that way about Alex was because I just needed someone so bad. Someone who didn't have this completely other life without me. I realized I needed to give up men all together. No matter what race, I could live without them. I was wrong. When I came back to Roswell, Max was still following me around.

Claiming he loved me. I so badly wanted to believe him, but my heart told me otherwise. I had to give him up, and it hurt, but slowly I know I would get over it. On the other hand there was Alex. I didn't want to ruin what I had with him. I stand to see him give me a big grin and tell me he thinks of me as a sister. I couldn't take it. So I hide from him. I tried to avoid him at all cost. When we went to the psychic I was even more confused. Max choose me, I was ecstatic, but in the back of my head I heard "What about Alex?". After the end of the future Max event, I realized I couldn't love him anymore. How could he be so selfish to come to me? If he wanted Tess to stay go to her. Don't fill me with bullshit excuses. We could have thought of something. Of course he had to ruin the happiness we had in the future. So that's ends the tragic love of me and Max. I just wish I could start one with Alex. not tragic of course. Just love. We would........Can't think like that Liz. Remember he just your friend. I threw my journal across the room. It should have hit the window, but I didn't hear glass shattering. Just a soft thud. Alex.

"Hey. What did it do to you?" Alex clung to me journal. He carefully moved out of the window frame, and stepped aside so I could walk out onto the balcony. He always did have a certain grace about him. Long slender fingers were hanging in the window.

"Well, aren't you gonna join me out here?'"

I took his hand as he helped me out onto the balcony.

"Alex?" I said lightly. As if he were a dream I didn't want to disturb.

"Yeah." I was graced with a wiry grin. He had an amazing smile. It made him look boyish, and innocent. Yet sexy at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" With that he lead me to the lawn chair keep on the balcony. I almost forgot he was holding my hand. Almost. As I sat down he started to pace nervously. I was beginning to think that he knew something that I didn't. Oh Buddha what did he know? "Please Alex tell me." He got down on his knees before me, and placed his hands over mine. My heart started to come alive. It been dead a week, but just a mere touch from him and I felt alive.

"I have to tell you something but please keep an open mind about it."

"Alex please you're starting to scare me."

A long slender finger snaked out of our tight grasp, and trailed it way up to my lips. He pressed it against my lips. He was spicy. I wanted to take his finger in my mouth, and make him purr my name.

"I have feeling for you." I was so wrapped up in my fanasties that included his fingers, I almost didn't hear him. I thought that I was imaging it. Could he want me too?

"What?"