I know he's come for me.

Sleep is a luxury reserved for those of us who are not in love. I don't miss it. It's dark in my room, a small stream of light from a street lamp outside providing the only illumination. I can't see his face, but I can feel him smiling at me.

I'm smiling back. I pull down the covers, welcoming him. We used to climb into bed together when we were little kids... when I would cry about missing home, or when he and Hank would get in a fight. Now when he climbs in bed with me, I feel something different.

Amazement. Wonder. Peace.

*I love the time and in between, the calm inside me
In the space where I can breathe, I believe
There is a distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years of reaching out and reaching in
Holding out, holding in...*

How did I ever let this happen? Alex made me happy. Alex made me feel safe- he was the first *human* guy that actually cared about me... that saw past the somewhat bitchy exterior (hey, I admit it...) and saw someone inside that was worthy of love. How could I hurt him like that?

This was a question I wrestled with for months. Our real mother spoke to us and said that Michael and I were supposed to be married in a past life. I can't explain it, it's like when you feel something so deep down inside your soul that it's not conscious? Then someone says something that triggers this feeling far down inside you and brings it to the surface.

Like my inborn desire to be with Michael. It was something I wasn't conscious of, but now I know that it's meant to be.

I finally feel like I belong somewhere, I have a purpose on this planet.

To be Michael's wife.

To carry his children.

*I believe this is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long as I can be
Left here to linger in silence if I choose to
Would you try to understand?*

My brother Max, my *real* brother. How wonderful it is to say that, and finally, really *mean* it. He has no idea what to make of this situation. When Michael and I told him that we had decided to follow our destiny, he looked at us blankly, almost mocking us.

"Why?" He asked, puzzled.

I told him because we wanted to. Because we loved each other. He looked into both of our faces, searching for a clue that told him we were just joking. He didn't get what he wanted. He just threw his hands up and walked away.

"Maxwell, where are you going? We need to talk about this." Michael said firmly, grabbing my hand and dragging me behind him as he followed Max down the stairs of our house.

"What is there to talk about, Michael? You've made up your minds, now I've made up mine... I'm going to Liz's." He said, walking through the doorway and slamming the door behind him.

Part of me secretly thanked Little Miss Scientist for keeping my brother out of our hair.

*I know this love is passing time,
Passing through like liquid, I'm drunk in my desire...*

I know Maria hates my guts, not that I blame her. I know stealing someone's boyfriend isn't exactly something you do to a *friend*. The other night I saw she and Alex kissing outside the Crashdown. At first I was taken aback... kind of like seeing a car accident and not being able to look away. As I watched them from behind the Jeep, I sensed they really were hurting over Michael and I. They were looking for comfort anywhere they could get it.

I hope they're happy. I want Maria to be happy... for Alex to be....

Oh, Alex. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

*...I love the way you smile at me,
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near
I believe this is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long as I can be
left here to linger in silence if I choose to
Would you try to understand?*

I'm crying again. Michael thinks it's because of him. I take him into my arms and reassure him that it's not him. It could never be him.

He could never make me cry.

He pulls me close to him, my face breathing into his neck, our bodies pressed together. We snuggle closer under the sheets and I feel my whole body start to warm up. Michael kisses me and my brain starts to hum. Every cell in my body screams out for Michael to touch me, where I need him to touch me...

And he does.

*Oh, the quiet child awaits the day
When she can break free the mold
that clings like desperation...*

Our baby is alive and flowing throughout my veins. I know that someday, Michael and I will have a child- our destiny will be fulfilled. I never longed to be a mother, I never craved a child until that night Michael and I conceived that beautiful boy in our dreams... now I know I have to stay alive for him, for both of them.

Our enemies are all around us. Sometimes I am so frightened, my entire body starts to tremble. I'm so scared... so scared...

Then he whispers my name in the dark, plants soft kisses on my neck, wraps me in his arms, and I'm protected.

I never thought it could be this way...

...I never want this to end.