All alone I walk with him till morning

Without him I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has

found me.*

I can feel his breath on my neck. His tender fingers touching my face. I quiver. He notices that and turns me towards him. Now we are facing each other staring into one another's eyes. His eyes are so beautiful. They speak volumes. I wouldn't mind drowning in them. I don't need words. I understand everything he is saying without a word spoken.

I've known him forever. I know the meaning of his every move, every look, every touch. His touches are magical. We're standing inches apart. Suddenly our noses touch. I'm becoming impatient. I want to feel his lips on mine, but he decides to tease me a little more. He moves away and puts his hands from my shoulders to my hair. His fingers caress my long hair. I run my fingers through his hair and then proceed down his muscular back. He looks intently at me and sees my pleading eyes saying "Kiss me, I need you". And he does. In a moment I see his soft lips approaching and locking on mine while we close our eyes. I'm in heaven. His mouth feels so familiar, his tongue gently mating with my tongue. Our tongues dancing the dance of love and passion. I feel as if I was destined to kiss him for the rest of my life. Actually I was but we do not follow our destiny. We follow our hearts, which, in some cases, is unfortunately not the same. I wish it was. I wish he loved me. I wish he was really here.

My face is wet. I feel a tear running from the corner of my right eye. And there goes another one. And one more. In a few seconds my vision is blurred. Not that I would have anything to see even if it wasn't.

*In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness the trees are full of skylight

And all I see is him and me forever and forever.*

When we were kids we would always joke about us being together. Actually we got married secretly when we were 9. Not even Max knew it. We had flowers, fake rings and even a quick kiss on the cheek. So what, if it wasn't for real. It was a rehearsal. We were playful so we just did it. It felt right. One day when we were 12 and Max was not around, we talked about relationships. We have always been very fond of each other. We shared a special bond and we believed that it could never be broken. I guess we were wrong after all. We were young but we knew that we were different. We were both sure that we would never be able to trust anyone outside of our triangle. That is when we decided that if we didn't find a way home by the time we are 24, we would marry each other. It was a long way to go, but I was looking forward to it. And I believe he was, too, at that time at least. We never even thought of another option. Of a possibility of a serious relationship with humans. Another mistake. If everyone had kept their mouth shut and not talked about our big secret to certain other species, Michael and I would still be close, maybe even closer than best friends, but we would sure still be bonded.

I'm not saying that he doesn't like me. He does. He loves me. As a friend, of course. And he's probably doing his best caring for me, but SHE's taking him away from me. I know I'm selfish but that's what love can get like. I don't want to share him. And right now the only place I can have him all by myself is in my head.

*And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And although I know that he is blind

Still I say there's a way for us.*

The room is getting hotter. He's unbuttoning my blouse and unhooking my bra. We're breathing hard. I throw his pants to the other side of the room. We're rolling on my bed together, kissing passionately, tasting and probing each other. His kisses on my breasts feel so good. It's like I am a flower with thousands of butterflies landing on my body and exploring it. His body is like a warm blanket covering me.

After several minutes of foreplay we're ready to make love to each other for our first time. I can feel him enter me gently. My mind leaves me and goes to a place unknown before. I feel like I'm flying. He moves inside me making me feel things I never knew existed. I can see his thoughts, his feelings, his love. For me. I don't know how I managed to survive without his body connected to mine up till now. I feel completed. Finally I feel full, whole. We're two pieces of one. Together. Forever. I don't want this to end. Ever.

We're coming at the same time. My body is in ecstasy. My muscles are tightening. I'm screaming from pleasure. We reach the climax and afterwards just hold each other. Our bodies are sweaty. I don't want to let him go. No! He's slipping away from me. His image is paling and he suddenly dissolves into air.

I'm crying again. I'm not sure if it's from the pleasure of the experience we've just been through or from the realization that it was again all part of my vivid imagination.

*I love him but when the night is over

He is gone the river's just a river

Without him the world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full

of strangers.*

*I love him but every day I'm learning

All my life I've only been pretending

Without me his world will go on turning

The world is full of happiness that I have never

known!*

He doesn't know anything about my feelings. I don't think it would be the right thing to do, to interfere with his relationship with Maria. He's with her. I'm aware of that. I can accept that. And to my advantage neither of them has a clue that there are moments, hours even, when he belongs only with me in my fantasy world where we are happy and together.

*I love him.*

He thinks he's happy. He probably is. He deserves it. At least one of us deserves it and if he's happy, I'm twice that happy for him.

*I love him.*

*I love him.*

*But only on my own.*