"Uh, god … I can't say it!"

"Say it, tell me! Wonder what?" He brushes his lips to the shell of my ear making me shiver and whispers.

"How wet, Izzy? How wet?" I groan and lay my hand over his sliding it down over my stomach to the top of my underwear. I hear him suck in a sharp breath.

"Iz?"

"Feel."

"What? Iz?"

"Feel, Alex, feel how wet." Another groan and his hand slides into my curls and further down and then a long, lean finger brushes across my wetness. We moan together now as he feels how swollen and slick I am.

"Ahh, god, Iz…you weren't kidding." Then I feel that lean finger slip inside. His strong musician fingers begin stroking the walls of my vagina.

My hips lift off the bed and I shout, "Ohhh, Alex, yes!"

Like everything he's done, he takes his time. It's delicious torture as he swirls his finger in my wetness and parts my folds to find the swollen nub of pleasure at the juncture of my sex, gently pressing his thumb over and around it. We are both panting and grunting now. It's way out of control. I know it and I don't care. I want this. I want more. I want him. My body aches for something and I don't know what it is, but my whole being is thrumming, straining for a release as he strokes in and out and leans down to suckle my breast. I can feel his hardness pressing into my thigh. He releases my breast and hugs me tight to him with the arm under my shoulders, never stopping his ministrations down below. All I can think is MORE!! As soon as I think it, he whispers again.

"Iz, Izzy, I want to make you come. I want to make you come hard and I want to watch you when you do it." I'm delirious now.

"YES, GOD, ALEX, PLEEASSE," I shout. His hand slides out of me and I moan at the loss. He leaps up to sit next to my spread legs and hooks his hands into the elastic of my panties. He looks at me for permission and I nod again. I can't talk right now. Without hesitation he yanks them down. I lift my hips to assist and he slides them off.

He positions himself between my legs, lifting my knees up so my feet are flat on the bed. He stares at me as though memorizing what he sees for long moments. The anticipation is killing me. I choke out, "God, Alex, please." I feel a little silly lying exposed like this until I see the look of stunned anticipation on his own face. He lays out flat on his stomach and pulls my legs over his shoulders, hooking his arms around my thighs and bringing his hand down to my curls from the top.

HOLY SHIT! His tongue is lapping me slowly from bottom to top. His thumb is circling my bundle of nerves and making it throb deliciously. Ripples of pleasure run through my abdomen and my world is centered between my legs right now. I have no control. I feel my head tilt back and eyes close. He lifts his head slightly and I can feel his breath on my curls. He blows lightly. "Open your eyes, Iz, watch me."

"Alex…"

"Open your eyes, Iz, see how beautiful you are, trust me," he says gently. "You're so beautiful, you glow in your passion."

I struggle to prop my boneless body up on my elbows and open my eyes as his mouth descends again. He stiffens his tongue and slides it inside me, lapping out my wetness. Then, good god, he's humming, "mmmmmmm", like he's eating a delicacy. I feel the vibrations rip through me like lightening.

"ALEX!"

He moves up to the top of my lips and begins to roll my bundle of nerves between his lips and two fingers slide inside me, palm up and he begins rubbing the front wall of my tunnel. My insides are melting. THAT SPOT! Oh, god, he found it. I hear a shuddering whimper and realize it's me. "Ooohh, oooo" is all I can get out. He laps hard at my apex and then sucks it into his mouth, HARD, slipping a third finger into me to help massage my walls. That's it. I shatter, screaming as I feel my walls contract violently around his fingers, and clenching contractions rip up from my uterus and spread across my body, lifting my hips, arching my back, and making my head thrash back and forth. He speeds up his finger movement, pulling out and shoving back in and a second orgasm follows right on the heels of the first. I continue to shout his name and then I have that thought again and it comes flying out of my mouth. "Ahhhhh, Alex, god, I LOOOVVVEE YOOOU!"

He lifted his head but his fingers are still inside me, waiting for me to come back to him. My breathing slowly return to normal as we stare at each other. I groan tiredly as he removes his fingers trailing my wetness over my stomach and then licking me off his fingers.

"Isabel, there are no words to describe how incredibly beautiful that was," he whispers.

"There are no words to describe how beautiful that felt. My lord, Alex, I didn't know that much pleasure was possible. I've never had an orgasm that violent. When you said, 'come hard', you meant it! I mean, I've made myself, you know, uh, have an orgasm but it didn't even come close to THAT! I think I blacked out for a second."

"You mean no one has ever made you … all the guys you've gone out with …"

"Oh, Alex, NO! I've dated, sure, made out sure. But I NEVER let anyone touch me down there."

"Never?"

Quietly, "I never trusted anyone enough." His breath whooshes out and he leans over to kiss me tenderly. I feel his throbbing hardness against my hip again. I suddenly feel bad. He gave me the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life and I've done nothing for him. And he hasn't asked. I know he won't either. I want to give him back what he's given me.

"Iz?"

"Hmmm?"

"When you, uh, were in the throes of it, you said…you said you loved me. Did you mean it or was it the heat of the moment?" His voice is small, low and husky, his open beautiful face staring at me. He seems frightened and unsure. I think my heart is going to break realizing that was the first time the word LOVE has come out of my mouth, and he thinks it was a fluke because I was delirious with passion.

I cup his face gently. "I meant it Alex, I've known it for a while, but I was afraid to say the words, to make myself vulnerable to anyone like that."

"Are you still?"

"No, I love you, Alex Whitman, I love you very much." He strangles on a choked sob and wraps his arms around my waist and clutches me to him.

"Shhh," I murmur. "I love you, Alex, don't ever doubt it. I know I'm not good at showing it sometimes, but …"

"You just did. You trusted me enough to let me touch you." Pause. "Do you have any idea how deliriously happy it makes me that I was the first one to do that for you? Huh? Your trust is a precious and sacred thing to me. I could die now the happiest man on earth."

"I bet I can make you happier."

"Not possible."

I giggle. "Yes, it is."

"I can't imagine how."

In answer, I reach down and stroke his still throbbing erection through his boxers. He groans and gasps out, "Izzzy." I lean into this ear like he did to me.

"Alex, I want to make you come, hard, and I want to watch while you do it." Throwing his own words back at him.

"Jesus, Izzy, god, you don't have to do that."

I cut him off. "I know, I want to do it." He looks at me, searching my eyes for doubts. He sees none.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Shouldn't take long!" he quips in a singsong voice. We both hoot with laughter. I roll over and grab his boxers, giving them a rough tug and slide them over his slender hips, and down off his legs. Now it's my turn to gasp as I see him for the first time. I've never seen one before, except for Max and he doesn't count. Alex is beautiful and bigger than I thought he'd be. I can see the veins bulging with blood and actually see it throb as he gazes at me, stone still again.

"Iz, you don't have to if it scares you, if you have any doubts." I realize that he thinks my hesitation is from fear or second thoughts.

"No, Alex, I just wanted to look at you. You're beautiful."

I tentatively reach out a hand and grasp him at the base, running my palm up his shaft. I feel him throb and see him leak a drop of fluid from the tip of his glans. He growls low in his throat. "Ahh, god, Iz." I begin to stroke him gently. Encouraged by his constant groaning and a sudden flash feeling of power, I lean over and lick his head, lapping up his fluid. He hisses my name, and his hips buck slightly off the bed. He is silky smooth and warm in my hand. I want to taste him. I've never told anyone, but I read books on how to pleasure a man, this way and other ways, just out of curiosity. I decide now would be a good time to put some of it the test. Here goes.

I lick him all over until he is wet and then slowly take him into my mouth as far as I can, squeezing in the base, and pumping gently. I cup his sacs with the other hand and caress them lightly. He is moaning continuously now and I thrill at the sound. His eyes keep fluttering shut but reopening to watch. He tangles his hands in my hair holding it out of the way so he can watch and it's out of my face. I pull back until just the head is in my mouth, swirling my tongue around his silky smoothness on at the top of each stroke, then descending again. Why was I so afraid of this? He is beautiful. This is Alex, my Alex, who would never hurt me. I want to make him crazy with pleasure even if I'm not ready for the ultimate intimacy yet. His hips are jerking up and down now. He is so rigid. His sacs in my hand have drawn up tight. I know he is close. He is trying to talk to me.

"Jesus, Iz, I'm close, so close, you feel so good, aahh, stop, Iz, or I'm gonna lose it in ... in your…" I lift off him quickly and utter, "Yes, come in my mouth, Alex." And I descended on him again, sucking hard and sliding from tip to base with my lips, up and back down.

"Izzzaaabeeellll! I peered up at him. I didn't think it was possible for his eyes to get any wider but they did. He choked on a half-scream and I felt his whole body go rigid as his shaft. He seemed to get a little bigger in my mouth for just a second and then he began thrusting up and exploded into my mouth.

Oh my god, he is screaming. I am making him scream. I clamp my lips down tight and hold on for the ride swallowing gently after each spasm that sprays my mouth with a warm saltiness. "Sweet Jesus, Oh Christ, Iz, HOLY SHIT, ahhh god, Izzy. I LOVE YOU! OH MY GOD!" He tastes warm and salty, pretty good actually. He collapses beneath me in a boneless heap, his breathing heavy and ragged, and a fine sheen of sweat covering his chest. I lick him gently to clean him up and release him.

He looks at me and his mouth works silently, no words coming out. He shakes his head slightly as if to clear it and tries again. I smile at his inability to speak. Been there! I love that I was able to do this to him, for him, for me. He motions to me and I slide up his body laying full on top of him, legs to legs, belly to belly, chest to chest and rest my weight on my elbows.

"Good Lord, Love, you almost killed me," he whispers. "Soooo good, I've never felt anything that good."

"Glad I could return the favor. I don't know what I was so afraid of, Alex."

"I love you, Izzy. I still can't believe this"

"Believe it. I was ready to take our relationship to another level. I was just afraid I wouldn't be…enough…what you expect…wouldn't be…I'm so inexperienced." He laughed out loud in a shout of laughter, his smile lighting up his face.

"You have GOT to be KIDDING me!"

"No, I'm not." I chuckle in response to his laughter.

"Isabel, all I have to do is look at you to get turned on. For god sakes, you're the most beautiful woman in that school, in the world. And me? Look at me Iz! Class geek, remember? You're not exactly dealing with Don Juan here."

"You're my Don Juan."

"Oh, Love, I'm the happiest man in the world. No regrets?"

"No regrets. Did you just call me, Love?"

"Yeah, you don't like it?"

"I like it."

"MMM, me too."

ALEX'S JOURNAL

My world tilted on its axis tonight. I'm lying in my bed, having finally torn myself away from her bed to make my way home. We didn't do the "ultimate", but we became lovers tonight. LOVERS! I thought I was going to have a coronary when she asked me to touch her. When she groaned at my touch, when she said she wanted to make me come. And god help me, when she said I make her wet. Me, class geek, made the golden goddess, wet. How does that happen? Must be divine intervention. ISABEL EVANS IS MY LOVER! And it was HER idea. I'm still waiting to wake up. But no, I'm awake. I feel my groin tightening again as I remember her beautiful, flushed face, head thrown back, hair like a halo spread out around her head on the pillow, my name on her lips as she shook with her orgasm, an orgasm I gave her with my fingers and my mouth. God she tasted to sweet, like tangy honey. I wasn't lying when I said I could die a happy man now. And that was before those bright, full, ruby red lips wrapped themselves around my aching hard-on. How many dreams, how many fantasies of those lips on my body? I lost count.

The reality surpassed even my wildest fantasies and dreams. How did I become so blessed? What did I do to deserve this angel in my life? She makes me feel ten feet tall and so loved, and so much - a man. God, I love her. I think my heart is going to bust it's so full. I love her with everything I am. I love you, Isabel Evans, and I always will. I'm in a waking dream and I hope the rug doesn't' get ripped out from underneath me. I can't worry about it now. I refuse to let myself worry about losing her. I'm just going to love her as best I can, for as long as she will let me and enjoy the ride.

Max walked into the kitchen as I was putting the grounds in to the coffee pot. I felt languorous and but exhilarated. I was in the middle of remembering the feeling of Alex against my body when Max broke the silence.

"Isabel?"

"Ummm?"

"Uh, I don't want to be nosey, but could I ask you a question?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Last night, I came home late from Liz's place and I was going to ask you a question about Biology but I …heard something before I knocked on your door and decided against it."

I swung around to meet his eyes and felt the flush rising from my neck to redden my cheeks. Our eyes locked. "What did you hear, Max?"

"Uh, I heard Alex."

"Heard Alex what?"

"Let's see, I think the words were something like, 'Sweet Jesus, Christ Isabel, I love you and few other exclamations and a lot of moaning and even a scream or two."

"Look, Max, I don't want a lecture, O.K. I know what I'm doing and it's really none of your business. I'm sorry you heard that and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell Alex you heard anything. It would only embarrass him and he doesn't…I don't want him to be ashamed or embarrassed about anything having to do with me…ever again."

Max's hands rose up in a position of surrender. "Whoa, whoa, Iz, slow down."

"I'm babbling, aren't I?"

He smiled, "Yeah, you are. And I'm not here to lecture you, just ask a question. Yes, the question is well, none of my business, but I'm going to ask it anyway.

"O.K., shoot!"

"No, I'll leave that to Alex."

"MAX!" I hit him hard on the chest with the palm of my hand causing a satisfied, "Whummpffff" to sound from him.

"O.K., Uncle, Uncle," he spat out supressing a laugh.

"Ask your question Max before I turn you into a toad."

"Ooo, I'm scared."

"MAXWELL." My tone held a warning.

"O.K., uh, I was just wondering, uh, well…"

"Christ, Max, spit it out!"

"How was it? The sex, I mean."

"We didn't go all the way, Max."

"You didn't?" Surprise was evident in his voice. Knowing the sounds we made last night, I couldn't say, as I wouldn't have drawn the same conclusion.

"Well, yes and no."

"What does that mean? Either you did or didn't."

"It means, we didn't have … intercourse…but there is more than one way to skin a cat, Max."

"Eeww, gross analogy, Iz."

"Sorry, you've caught me a little off guard here and I feel weird discussing this with you."

"So you, uh, gave him a …"

"A blow job, yes."

"God, Iz, I never thought I'd hear that word come out of your mouth."

I giggled, enjoying his discomfort and embarrassment now and suddenly losing my own. I decided to rub it in.

"Well, that's what they call it, Max…blow job, going down, sucking off, whatever. I don't believe they have ever come up with a good name for it."

"ISABEL!" He was shocked now. If it was possible to see red under that disgustingly perfect brown skin of his, I'm sure he would have been red as a beet.

"What?" I asked innocently, putting on my best wide-eyed look.

"Good God, Isabel, are we really having this conversation?"

"You started it."

"Yeah, I guess I did. Speaking of cats, curiosity killed the cat and I think my curiosity is biting back. I think you're trying to kill me now.

"Kill you, Max?"

"Give me a FREAKIN' HEART ATTACK!" We both laughed at that.

"But…"

"But?"

"In spite of my impending coronary, I'm still curious."

"What about?"

"Well, uh, did he repay the favor?" A slow smile spread across my face and I felt my cheeks get hot again.

"Actually, uh, what you heard was…I was the one repaying the favor."

"No shit?"

"Yeah, no shit." I shivered involuntarily and he looked at me funny. "God, Max, he…"

"He?" he prompted.

"Never mind."

"Aww, come on, Iz, don't tell half a story. You can't drop bombs like this and then expect me not to want to hear about the explosion - oops - no pun intended."

"MAXWELL!"

"You know I won't tell anyone. Trust me?" I do trust Max, but this was so new and so private. Then I saw the flash of hurt on his face, quickly hidden, when I didn't answer right away.

"Aww, Max, it's not about me trusting you. You know I do, I'm just…"

"Just?"

"A little embarrassed in the light of day talking to my brother about my sex life. I'm not embarrassed about what I did. I just don't know how to describe it. It's so new to me. And, I don't know how much detail you want or how much I'm willing to give at this point.

"Well, how about an overview. Save the details for now. I don't think I want to know anyway." He couldn't hide the smirk that he quickly suppressed.

"O.K., Mr. Curious, what do you want to know?"

"Who started it?"

"I did. I asked him to come up with me. I wanted to bring us closer, take the relationship to another level, a physical level. I was curious and I wanted to know what he…"

"What he?"

I looked away. "What he felt like, what his skin would feel like on mine."

"Did he know that was your intention?"

"Yes, I told him."

"Oh, Boy, that must have been rough."

"What do you mean?"

"Poor Alex."

"What do mean poor Alex?"

"Isabel, do you have any idea how hard it is for a guy to touch a woman that way, skin to skin and keep himself under control. God, Iz, you were asking a lot."

"I know. But I trusted him, Max. I trust him, completely. Do you know a revelation it is for me to be able to say that I trust someone? Trust them so completely. Know in my heart that they won't hurt me, would never hurt me. Have you ever trusted someone like that, Max?"

"Just you and Michael, until Liz, I trust her that way. Yeah, I guess I do know what you mean. It does kind of blow you away, doesn't it? Scary."

"Scary, but exhilarating at the same time. I get tired of being so 'in control.' I get tired of hiding who I am, what I am. I get so tired of being scared Max."

"I know, Iz, I'm sorry." He folded me into a gentle embrace. I hugged him back. We stayed standing that way. "But with Alex, it's different. He knows what I am and who I am. I'm not scared with him. I don't need to be 'in control' with him. I don't need to hide. It's very liberating."

"Mmm. Well, so what did he do for you?"

"Back to that, huh?" I asked playfully.

"Yup. You know me, like a dog with a bone."

"Thought that was Michael."

"I've been spending too much time with him lately." We both laughed.

"You're avoiding the question."

"Am I?"

"Yup."

"O.K. Well, he just kept saying 'Tell me what you want, like a mantra, like he was afraid of making a mistake."

"I'll bet."

"Be serious, max. No more joking."

"O.K., tell me."

"I wanted him to kiss me, lying on the bed, so he did."

"And?"

"I wanted to feel his chest on mine, no shirts. So he did."

"Mmmm?"

"I wanted him to touch me all over…so he did." I shivered as I remembered it and felt Max's little chuckle.

"All over?"

"Mmm Hmm."

"Everywhere?"

"Umm, hmm. Then he said -"

"What?"

"Oops. This might be too much information."

"I'm doing O.K. so far." He was still hugging me, his chin on my shoulder, holding me lightly. Somehow it was easier to tell him this not looking into his face. I needed to share this with someone so I could process it myself. If I couldn't trust Max, whom could I trust?

"Iz, what did he say?"

"Um, he said…he wanted…wanted to make me…make me come and watch me when I did it."

"Oh, Jesus!"

"Yeah, my sentiments exactly."

"And?"

"And so, I said yes, do it."

"And?"

"What else do want to know?"

"Did he accomplish his mission?"

"MAX!"

"Well, did he?"

"Oh, yeah, in a big way. Really big way." He chucked against my ear and the sound was comforting.

"How?"

"How?"

"Yeah, how did he do it?"

"Max, that would be...sooooo..too much information."

"You sound like Maria now."

"Yeah, I've been spending too much time with her lately."

"Dodging."

"Yup."

"Come on, think of it as educating me. If he accomplished his mission maybe I can use his technique on Liz."

"God, Max! I can't believe we're talking like this."

"Well?"

"Uh, well, he, ummm…"

"Very articulate, Iz." I was giggling now.

"He went down on me, ya know, oral sex."

"This is a little creepy talking about this with you."

"Yeah, huh?" We both giggled a little again.

"I like it though, we haven't been this close in a long time, just talking about normal teenage stuff, ya know?"

"Yeah, I miss it sometimes."

"Me too."

"So, lead on McDuff."

"Max, that's it. All I'll say is he was very thorough, slow and thorough and I've never felt anything even remotely close to the way he made me feel."

"So you had your first orgasm induced by a human being. How was it?"

"Mind melting."

"Ooo, that good, huh?"

"That good."

"GO ALEX." Neither registered the THUMP, THUMP, THUMP sounding on the front door.

"MAX!" He pulled away to look at me again.

"I had a feeling things were bound to change for you after that little display in school a few weeks ago. I'd never seen you so possessive about anyone or anything before in your entire life." Neither of them saw Alex enter the doorway to the kitchen and lean against the door frame.

"God, poor Alex, what I put him through Max, I had a split second of fear, of doubt, but seeing someone else touch him, the thought of losing him to another woman made me snap. And I'd lose him too, cause I wasn't willing to tell the world to go fuck off. It was suddenly so clear for the first time. I've known, I knew that I loved him for a while now. But in that instant, I finally realized that I was 'IN LOVE' with him. He was more important than what anyone thought of me, more important than my reputation, just, more important than anything. My so-called friends suddenly disgusted me with their attitude. Who the hell do they think they are anyway? They think they are better than Alex, and now me too, and they are all just snobs. They don't hold a candle to Alex, or his friends either. I know I don't deserve him or his love, cause I was one of those snobs, Max. But I don't want to be anymore. I disgusted myself. I want to be who I am when I'm with Alex."

Max smiled at me. "Sounds like you grew up, Isabel. That's a very mature attitude."

Alex coughed gently to get their attention. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. Hearing Isabel say those things about him made his knees feel rubbery. He hadn't realized they were talking about him at first, but they looked involved in an intimate conversation and he hadn't wanted to interrupt. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but then he heard his name and he had frozen in place. They both started a the sound of his cough. "Sorry, you didn't answer the knock and the door was open. I wanted to make sure you were all right."

Isabel stared wide-eyed at him. 'How much had he heard?' He would be mortified if he knew what she'd told Max. He didn't look mortified. She summoned up the courage to ask.

"Alex, how much did you hear?"

'Uh, I was about the leave when you said something about what you put me through, which is no big deal by the way. I heard my name and I couldn't leave. Sorry. I don't have any excuse I shouldn't have eavesdropped." Isabel's shoulders slumped and she released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Thank God he hadn't heard the sex discussion.

"That's O.K." Max responded, seeing Isabel gathering herself together after that little fright.

Alex grinned. "Although I can't really say that I'm entirely sorry. I've always wondered what you say about me when I'm not around."

"And your opinion now that you know?" Max asked. Alex was staring at Isabel. He sauntered over to her and wrapped his hands around her waist from behind, laying his hands on her stomach and leaning into her ear.

He lips brushed her ear when he responded, "That I'm the luckiest guy in the whole world. By the way, Izzy, I like who are you are when you're with me too. I like that you're with me, period." Max saw Isabel shiver as Alex breathed into her ear. She blushed. Well, well, it looked like his sister was finally caught, and good. He'd have to remember that breathing in the ear trick with Liz. It seems to be having a melting effect on Isabel. Maybe he'd find a way to talk to Alex about sex sometimes. Seems he knew more than anyone ever gave him credit for. Judging by Isabel's reaction, he did O.K. Max smiled broadly at them.

"I like who she is when she's with you too, Alex. Thank you."

"Thank you? For what?"

"For making my sister happy. For loving her. For improving her disposition." This last was said as a tease.

"Hey!" Isabel shouted. Max and Alex both chuckled, as she took the bait. Alex felt a real sense of peace that Max accepted his relationship with Isabel. He would have been there anyway, but he knew how much Max's opinion and regard meant to Isabel. His blessing was just icing on the cake of his happiness. Max grinned again.

"Well, I'll leave you to love birds alone. Iz, don't forget Mom and Dad are due home tonight from their little trip." Max was warning her not to get caught alone in a compromising position with Alex, should her parents come home. She winked at him.

"I won't, Max, see ya."

Alex caught the weird tone of Max's statement. "What was that all about? He asked. He wondered how much Max knew. They were pretty noisy last night he thought with a start.

"Nothing," Isabel answered.

"But, Max…"